Divorce and ADHD Medications
Over the years, I've answered many posts from concerned parents (or stepparents) regarding their child being started on an ADHD medication by the divorced spouse. Frequently, it's the stepmother who complains that the child has been started on a medication by the mother, often implying that the mother is lacking in parenting skills (that of course the stepmother possesses) and is therefore inappropriately using medication to control normal child behavior. Since the child behaves perfectly well when visiting the stepmother and father, and since they don't have any problems with him, the mother must not be a fit parent.
Now there is a study that indicates that divorce might be a predictor of the use of ADHD medications. Lisa Strohschein from the University of Alberta analyzed the data from a longitudinal study (1994 - 2000) of 4,784 children, and of these children, 633 from 521 intact households experienced divorce while in the study. She found that methylphenidate (Ritalin) use was significantly higher among children (especially boys) whose parents divorced.
So why might the use of ADD medications increase after divorce? Strohschein feels that the stress of the divorce might increase a child's problem behaviors. Since ADHD is largely genetic (inherited), the parent's ADHD symptoms might have been a causal factor for the divorce. An increase in behavior problems related to the stress of the divorce might mean that the child is seen by a mental health worker, increasing the chances of also being diagnosed with ADHD.
I believe that it's very difficult being the single parent of a child with symptoms of ADHD, especially a single mother trying to parent a hyperactive, impulsive, and sometimes oppositional boy. It's far easier when two parents are working together on behavioral management, giving each other needed support.
Single mothers often have to work all day, then try to manage the hundreds of daily living tasks as well as the children, often with little support from others, and sometimes negative criticism from the other biological parent. Asking and seeking help from others, which might mean that the child is diagnosed with ADHD, seems to be a reasonable thing to do.
Related Topics: Technorati Tags: ADHD, ADD, medications, Ritalin, divorce, parenting, health and wellness
Now there is a study that indicates that divorce might be a predictor of the use of ADHD medications. Lisa Strohschein from the University of Alberta analyzed the data from a longitudinal study (1994 - 2000) of 4,784 children, and of these children, 633 from 521 intact households experienced divorce while in the study. She found that methylphenidate (Ritalin) use was significantly higher among children (especially boys) whose parents divorced.
So why might the use of ADD medications increase after divorce? Strohschein feels that the stress of the divorce might increase a child's problem behaviors. Since ADHD is largely genetic (inherited), the parent's ADHD symptoms might have been a causal factor for the divorce. An increase in behavior problems related to the stress of the divorce might mean that the child is seen by a mental health worker, increasing the chances of also being diagnosed with ADHD.
I believe that it's very difficult being the single parent of a child with symptoms of ADHD, especially a single mother trying to parent a hyperactive, impulsive, and sometimes oppositional boy. It's far easier when two parents are working together on behavioral management, giving each other needed support.
Single mothers often have to work all day, then try to manage the hundreds of daily living tasks as well as the children, often with little support from others, and sometimes negative criticism from the other biological parent. Asking and seeking help from others, which might mean that the child is diagnosed with ADHD, seems to be a reasonable thing to do.
Related Topics: Technorati Tags: ADHD, ADD, medications, Ritalin, divorce, parenting, health and wellness
16 Comments:
How odd.. A genetic illness that comes and goes based on whether or not there are two parents in the home? I can't fathom any other medical condition that would come and go like this?
As a single Mom with ADHD and a 17 yr old son with ADHD, we both live this article daily and he was on medication before the divorce. Hard wiring is difficult to fix and stress, which comes and goes in most peoples lives, particularly in single parent families, will affect and sometimes intensify those negative symptoms of ADHD, such as obstinant or unreasonable to the Nth degree. Children with ADHD are truly special needs children and require taylored parenting skills for that child. As with any special needs kid, some signs of this are more obvious than others.....ADHD affects the brain wiring, most folks can't fathom the depth of ADHD because they outwordly look like all the other non-special needs kids. If someone needs medication to help them control their disability, like a diabetic taking insulin, then so be it. Helping our children function in life better by giving our child the necessary tools to do so is critical to them becoming a productive, healthy, happy adult.[ie:wearing glasses, fitted with braces, wearing a hearing aid; taking anti-seizure medication, taking ADHD medication]. For the most part, and I am not talking about those kids on meds without a formal diagnosis of ADHD, but truly ADHD kids, it is not about bad parenting skills, it is about trying what will work and being consistent.
The adulturous (impulsive??) father, the debt imprisoned disorganized bill payers etc. Some of these factors are the straw that breaks the camels backs. Of course not every Divorced family is like this, but many are
This study may say just as much about the prevalance in ADHD medications in the care-taking families as it does about the child.
medications= characteristics, sorry about the typo
As an adult who was diagnosed only after my son was being evaluated, I want to chime in.
ADHD does not come and go. It can be more severe and less severe due to stressors. Divorce is definitely a stressor for both th parent and the child, increasing the symptoms of ADHD. Since it is a genetic disorder, the ADHD parent may not deal well with the stress and the ADHD, which would further stress the child.
During the period after my divorce, I worked diligently to structure my children's lives. I somehow managed this without medication (or even knowing I had ADHD). I am a firm but loving parent and believe that has helped. I was cubmaster for my son's cubscout pack for a period of time, and watched some single mothers struggle to contain their child. When I sat down to talk with them, I saw mothers who were afraid to discipline due to fear of looking like a bad parent/ being accused of abuse/ trying to stay the 'nice' parent...etc, etc...
There are behaviorial problem children out there. Parents are afraid to discipline (not just spanking, but setting boundaries) because of Dr. Spock and the likes of the past telling us we shouldn't.... so, of course we have much more problematic children than previous generations.
As far as those who believe that bad behavior can be 'reigned in' by the ADHD meds, you are wrong. They simply will not work on 'normal' children. Most ADHD meds are stimulant based and will have the 'normal' child climbing walls. So, if a child is medicated AND IT WORKS, then there is no doubt that he is ADHD. ADHD is not 'bad parenting' or 'a disobedient child'. It is a disease that must be treated for the good of the child. Imagine how it would feel to struggle daily with keeping your thoughts focused on the task at hand and feeling like you are a lazy, good for nothing, bad child. What would your self-esteem be like? Now, treat the child and give him a fighting chance to be normal and confident and what will happen? He will be a productive member of society who likes who he has become.
Please stop accusing all parents of ADHD children of being bad parents and of 'drugging their kids' to get by. I have it myself, and understand what it takes to get through the day... and what a relief it is to have medicine that helps now.
As Dave said - it doesn't 'come and go' - likely the stressor of divorce can increase the severity of symptoms that were already there, but not noticed. Lots of genetic-based behavior disorders (depression, bipolar disorder, etc.) only come to the surface after a stressor. Like how you can have genes related to breast cancer, but if you are healthy, breastfeed your babies, etc., you may never develop cancer.
Having the genes for something doesn't necessarily mean you'll have that problem - or how severe it will be if you do get it. This is something that most people don't understand about genetics. Genes usually predispose you to something - not garuntee (sp?) that you'll get it.
-scientist mom
To "stepmom to non adhd kids": I'm very sorry to see that you are so short-sighted. As many of the posters here have mentioned, stress can highlight an existing condition, and divorce and bouncing between houses is VERY stressful for children AND the adults who care for them. I also must say that many stepmoms in my experience want to jump in and assume they are equal parents to the children involved. I'm afraid to say that that simply isn't the case most of the time. The biologic mother is often the one with more experience and time with these children, they simply see more than the steps do.
My friend is a single mom, working full-time, receiving little child support, and her children spend a lot of time at daycare. The teachers, and now their mother, decided that the oldest boy (only three years old )should be on Ridalin, and he is already on some other medications too. Is this safe? Also, I wonder if the connection to single parents and kids with ADD could also depend on the amount of time the parent is able to spend with the child. His grandparents never have problems with him, and they even potty trained him. If you could let me know about how young is okay to start ADD medication.
nymph of the grotto:
(great name, by the way!) Try posting this question on Dr. Sogn's message board.
Thanks!
Great post
As the moderator for seven years of an online support group for the partners of adults with ADHD, I've unfortunately heard many stories of divorce.
Here's one common scenario: The parent with ADHD refuses to acknowledge the condition in him/herself and any children--and especially refuses medication.
Therefore, the child is deprived of treatment while the marriage remains intact. Only after divorce is the other parent able to pursue the necessary treatment for the child.
That's just one scenario. There are others. The point is, it shouldn't be assumed that a child's medication is necessitated by more post-divorce stress.
Gina Pera
"Stepmom" should perhaps realize her own denial of the stressors of a blended family.
She clearly has little knowledge of pshychological disorders or how stress can affect disease. Many chronic, autoimmune and even acute diseases can be exacerbated by stress.
I have been on both sides of this scenario; as stepmom to an ADHD child and having a son with ADHD, after a divorce.
With ADHD there are often comorbidities as well,(depression, anxiety)increasing the challenges for the child and parents, too.
As a single mom and health professional I know well the extra efort by, and strain on everyone that touches my child's life. I also know the benefits and risks of medicating him.
A person denying the existence or or difficulty of this situation surely must have their head in the sand.
JS
Isn't it true that instead of having ADD or ADHD a person could (very possibly) have only a thyroid dysfunction?
Anonymous asked:
Isn't it true that instead of having ADD or ADHD a person could (very possibly) have only a thyroid dysfunction?
No, that is not true. Thyroid dysfunction and AD/HD are two separate diagnoses. But it is true that the symptoms of hypothyroidism can mimic, in part, symptoms of ADHD.
That's why you want to see a specialist who can first rule out physical causes of symptoms that might be mistaken for ADHD.
No matter what you all may think of me I am a very concerned stepmother of an 8 year child that has been diagnosed with adhd by a family doctor. I have researched this a lot and i spend a lot of time observing him and yes he does have many symptoms of adhd but as his teacher agreed with me these are also syptoms of an immuture child that has never been taught any responsibility. I am not saying that his mother is unfit but i am saying that she is very immature. It would take me all day to explain this to you but to make a long story short... This child doesn't finish his classwork or his homework and when she discusses the situation she says that she sits down with him and helps him with his homework and checks over it to make sure that it is correct but his teacher is sending home daily reports saying his homework is not complete and when we check his book bag there are sheets in his notebook that clearly say homework and NONE of it is done or checked and corrected. As to the daily reports that she never signs she said it is the child's responsilbility to remind her. now maybe i am wrong but i feel i have very good reason to feel this way. And by the way i spend a lot of time with this child not just everyother weekend. And as long as he is with us a least every weekend his behavior at home and at school improves and his grades come up. he has also told us that his mother doesn't have time for him and that she does not ever help him with his homework.
I'm sorry but you have to put the remote, cigaretts, beer, and the tex-mssg/phone down and BE THE PARENT. The dishes can wait and so can the phone calls to/from your friends. These children NEED your attention as soon as you get home from work. They are like your pet, waiting and waiting all day to be with you and get that special hug and kiss from you and the interest in what they did today! What you will have if this is done the very first full hour when you get home is a satisfied child that will go on about his/her business of being a kid the rest of the night and not bother you much after that. That time has to be sacred if you want a child to KNOW he/she is loved and feels secure. Believe me, I've had three and the first 2 were as a single mom when they were 8 and 10. One boy and one girl, both of which are great, healty, smart, productive adults today. No need for meds for most of these children. LOVE,rules,and consistancy really do work. When you SAY "turn the tv off or I'll take away the PS2, you BETTER DO IT. If you don't follow through, the child will never trust what you say and there will be NO boundries/rules followed. It takes ONE WEEK for this to work, but only if YOU MAKE IT WORK. CHILDREN NEED FAIR DISIPLINE AND BOUNDRIES. OTHERWISE THEY ARE ON THEIR OWN MAKING THEIR OWN DECISIONS WHEN THEY ARE CLEARLY TOO YOUNG TO DO SO. GOOD LUCK AND BE CAREFUL WITH THE MEDS.
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