Grandparents are good medicine
My grandparents were responsible for providing many of the people in our small town. They had 13 children, who married 13 other people, who produced cousins by the dozens. In a small town, you needed to understand genealogy before seriously dating anyone.
If you looked up "grandmother" in the encyclopedia, you would probably see a picture of Grandma - friendly, overweight, white hair in a bun, big butt, and apron - sort of like a cookie jar. Grandpap was small, very skinny, cigarette-smelling, and sort of scary. My grandfather died of black lung disease when I was about 6 or 7, so most of my childhood memories revolve around my grandmother.
Grandma lived alone, in a tiny, musty-smelling house surrounded by apple trees waiting to be climbed. She had two dogs: The cantankerous Joey, a free-range rat terrier (who actually caught rats in the house!), and Ginger, a mellow collie that only lived in the kitchen. After raising all of those kids, her pets were now her children. So were the grandchildren.
In the summers as a child, I visited her often; nearly every day. She fed me sugar cookies and we just talked. Every year on my birthday, she would send me a card with a dime and a stick of gum. I received my last card when I was in college. She died shortly thereafter, and I always regret spending that dime and chewing that last piece of gum. I wish I had saved it. I loved my Grandmother. She was my connection to history, and we certainly had an interesting family history.
Years after my grandmother died, I uncovered a bit of family history that absolutely shocked me. Apparently, my grandfather spent time in prison for shooting (and killing) someone. My grandfather shot a neighbor that was having a sexual affair with Grandma! Keep in mind that my vision of Grandma was exactly like I described her - overweight, white hair, big butt, and an apron. Who in their right mind would be courting my Grandma??? Of course, she may not have always looked like that when she was younger, but to think of her in a sexual way was very troubling for me. Grandma? Sex? Anyway, this sort of explains why many of my Uncles and Aunts in the family picture do not resemble each other. Our family tree definitely had a few side branches.
I am now a Grandfather with three grandchildren (Grandma had over fifty grand-kids!). My wife is a wonderful Grandmother (Grammy, she prefers). When our oldest child divorced, we had two of them living with us for several months, which cemented the bond that continues to exist. We spend more money on our grandchildren that we ever spent on our kids: trips to Disneyland, toys, ice-skating lessons, dance lessons. You name it; we bought it. We rarely bake them sugar cookies, but we do have them at least one weekend a month. They cry when they have to go home on Sunday. Grammy cries, too.
I am absolutely amazed at the number of grandparents who are raising their grandchildren today. Our pediatric practice has HUNDREDS of these extended families. The real parents may be divorced, missing, in jail, on drugs, or whatever, but thank God for grandparents. I see them struggle on fixed, senior citizen incomes, but the love is obvious. They have stepped in and taken the role of parents...again. These children are blessed to have grandparents who will open their homes...their wallets...and more importantly, their hearts. Perhaps, this will be their most important parting gift in a full life that must end at some point.
Grandparents are good medicine.
Related Topics: Lessons From The Earth's Elders, Grand Parenting
Technorati Tags: family, grandparents
If you looked up "grandmother" in the encyclopedia, you would probably see a picture of Grandma - friendly, overweight, white hair in a bun, big butt, and apron - sort of like a cookie jar. Grandpap was small, very skinny, cigarette-smelling, and sort of scary. My grandfather died of black lung disease when I was about 6 or 7, so most of my childhood memories revolve around my grandmother.
Grandma lived alone, in a tiny, musty-smelling house surrounded by apple trees waiting to be climbed. She had two dogs: The cantankerous Joey, a free-range rat terrier (who actually caught rats in the house!), and Ginger, a mellow collie that only lived in the kitchen. After raising all of those kids, her pets were now her children. So were the grandchildren.
In the summers as a child, I visited her often; nearly every day. She fed me sugar cookies and we just talked. Every year on my birthday, she would send me a card with a dime and a stick of gum. I received my last card when I was in college. She died shortly thereafter, and I always regret spending that dime and chewing that last piece of gum. I wish I had saved it. I loved my Grandmother. She was my connection to history, and we certainly had an interesting family history.
Years after my grandmother died, I uncovered a bit of family history that absolutely shocked me. Apparently, my grandfather spent time in prison for shooting (and killing) someone. My grandfather shot a neighbor that was having a sexual affair with Grandma! Keep in mind that my vision of Grandma was exactly like I described her - overweight, white hair, big butt, and an apron. Who in their right mind would be courting my Grandma??? Of course, she may not have always looked like that when she was younger, but to think of her in a sexual way was very troubling for me. Grandma? Sex? Anyway, this sort of explains why many of my Uncles and Aunts in the family picture do not resemble each other. Our family tree definitely had a few side branches.
I am now a Grandfather with three grandchildren (Grandma had over fifty grand-kids!). My wife is a wonderful Grandmother (Grammy, she prefers). When our oldest child divorced, we had two of them living with us for several months, which cemented the bond that continues to exist. We spend more money on our grandchildren that we ever spent on our kids: trips to Disneyland, toys, ice-skating lessons, dance lessons. You name it; we bought it. We rarely bake them sugar cookies, but we do have them at least one weekend a month. They cry when they have to go home on Sunday. Grammy cries, too.
I am absolutely amazed at the number of grandparents who are raising their grandchildren today. Our pediatric practice has HUNDREDS of these extended families. The real parents may be divorced, missing, in jail, on drugs, or whatever, but thank God for grandparents. I see them struggle on fixed, senior citizen incomes, but the love is obvious. They have stepped in and taken the role of parents...again. These children are blessed to have grandparents who will open their homes...their wallets...and more importantly, their hearts. Perhaps, this will be their most important parting gift in a full life that must end at some point.
Grandparents are good medicine.
Related Topics: Lessons From The Earth's Elders, Grand Parenting
Technorati Tags: family, grandparents
4 Comments:
This is so true when I need to be comforted I go to my grandma she has all the right words to keep me in-line but yet still be loving
I agree with semperfipage, I love my grandma and i can talk with her hours.
I think children grown up in the twinkling of an eye even parent can't have time with children as much as they can when they retired, so when parents have been grandparents, they have done whatever their grandchildren wanted, and accused of spoiling children by parents.
You are lucky one. Grandkids will keep you live a long healthy life. I envy you because I have no kid, so I will not have any grandkid. However, my nieces and nephews get all my love.
I am a 65 years old and have had my 3 year old grandson with me for 1gnvgrc5 months now. His mother is single and bipolar. I planned to put a lot more time into my genealogy hobby and travel after I retired. Cole was born the year I retired. I was angry at first but have come to accept that this is to be. I certainly cannot abandon this little angel. I plan trips with him now instead of traveling as I had planned, I go to children's museums and other activiies appropriate for his age. I enjoy seeing him enjoying himself, learning and growing mentally and physically. I am often tired, forever behind and pray daily for the patience and strength to meet this little guy's needs. A big worry to me is my dying before he is old enough to care for himself. Two weeks ago he had surgery for a life threatening brain condition. He's doing fine now and I thank God for the wonderful neurologist who ordered an MRI just to be sure she wasn't missing something. The problem was caught in time and he will suffer no serious neurological effects. This was a scary time for us, We (my husband who is 69 and not his biological grandfather) don't know how we could live without our sunshine. He brings us much joy and gives us much love.
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