More on Dumping Kids in Day Care
Rather than make individual responses to the many comments on the 4th Trimester post, I thought I would respond in blog form. When I used the word DUMPING, I clearly pushed some very sensitive buttons.
Hold on, I am going to push that button again.
If you were able to ask infants their preference of (a) stay home with Mom or Dad, or (b) go to day-care, what do you think they would say? Infants need to bond with their parents, and more importantly, parents need to bond with their baby.
Each day with a baby is a miracle. Do you want your baby's first laugh to be heard by a stranger? Or, have someone see their first attempts at sitting up or crawling, or take that monumental first step? It breaks my heart to see infants, barely dry from their delivery, heading off to be cared for by others. Every day in my pediatric clinic, I see the angst on the faces of young mothers when they tell me they are going back to work and their child is going to Kid World or the International House of Infants.
Yes, I am very sensitive that it may require two incomes to run many households. I know that single parents have few choices other than working. However, I do know that some working couples are working because they are paying for their own toys: a new car, a swimming pool, new furniture, or whatever. They have some mismatched priorities in my opinion.
Some parents (not all) literally dump their kids in daycare so they can work to pay for toys they really do not need. My issue is with them. They have the ultimate choice and they did not choose their own baby.
For nearly two decades, I taught a seminar exclusively for day-care providers called Pediatrics for Child Care Providers. It was a required class for day-care licensing in our county. I helped child care providers to recognize infectious diseases, how to develop reasonable exclusionary policies, and how to meet the health and emotional needs of the children in their care. Childcare providers are among the most dedicated people on this planet. It is an awesome responsibility to care for children that are not your own.
Kids in day-care get sick more often than children cared for at home. The simple answer is exposure. Before that umbilical cord is cut, powerful protective immunities are transferred to the baby so that they can exist in our germ-laden world.
Breast-feeding augments this maternal immunity, which will last six months or more. Almost like magic, children begin getting sick about age six months. This is when we really start seeing colds, ear infections, pinkeye, rotavirus diarrhea, and more. Babies quickly adapt to the resident germs carried by their parents and siblings, but they are very slow to adapt to the germs of others.
Even the cleanest and most sanitary day-care facility is a hotbed of contagion. Although we dearly love children, their levels of personal hygiene are worse than you can imagine. Kids are nose-pickers, free-sneezers, snot-wipers, and butt-diggers. When you put a group of kids together, the only thing they will freely-share is their microorganisms.
When you put your child or baby in day-care, you can count the days until the first viral infection. Now granted, viral infections help build the child's own immunity, not unlike immunizations, but many children are not ready for this Battle of the Germs. Day-care providers do not charge for this extra immune-building service.
So, your child will get sick. When your child gets sick, you will need to miss work to bring them to a medical office. Many day-care providers will require a note from the medical provider before they can come back, so it could be days before you go back to work. Not only do you lose money by not working, medical care and medications are expensive. Miss enough days of work and you may not have a job.
Perhaps this is the clandestine plan of day-care children. Let's get Mom fired so she will stay home with us.
Day-care is big business. It is expensive, and it should be. Some day-care providers in our county were making less than the guy that cleans the dog cages at the pound, but someone is making a profit. As much as day-care costs, the people that actually diaper and feed your baby are terribly underpaid. Many are day-care providers are mothers who are working in order to get a discount for their own kids in day-care! Do not miss the irony here.
When you add up the cost of full-time day care, the cost of missed days from work, the costs of medical expenses, the cost of gasoline to transport kids to and from the day-care, you better be making a high salary.
Second-income people get hit with higher tax brackets and higher peripheral expenses (like fast-food meals since you are not home to cook). Add it up some day. Subtract it from your take-home pay and divide it by the number of hours that you work and commute, and you will be shocked by how little you actually make. Some parent actually SAVE money by staying home with their kids. Don't just automatically assume you need two incomes. Do the math. I think you will be surprised.
Yes, you may have to cut some expenses and carefully budget, but isn't it worth it to your kids?
What about your career? Put it on hold for a few years, or at least until the kids go to school. Work from home. Work part-time. Find other creative ways of stretching your family budget. Even the pediatricians in my office have reduced their work hours to care for their kids at home. They help out in the classroom, help their children with the piles of homework they get, and they are now able to go on field trips and attend recitals. Your children will only be children ONCE. Don't miss it.
We raised five kids and I am personally ashamed by how little I was home during those most important years. I could cry when I think of what I missed. I made many of these same mistakes that I am harping about now. With age and experience comes wisdom. I was stupid then.
Although it may be a bit too late, I am proud to be a Born-Again Parent. If only I could do it over again.
Related Topics: 5 Tips For Better Work-Life Balance, Are Kids' Diets Harmed if Mom Works?
Technorati Tags: parenting, infants, childcare, daycare
Hold on, I am going to push that button again.
If you were able to ask infants their preference of (a) stay home with Mom or Dad, or (b) go to day-care, what do you think they would say? Infants need to bond with their parents, and more importantly, parents need to bond with their baby.
Each day with a baby is a miracle. Do you want your baby's first laugh to be heard by a stranger? Or, have someone see their first attempts at sitting up or crawling, or take that monumental first step? It breaks my heart to see infants, barely dry from their delivery, heading off to be cared for by others. Every day in my pediatric clinic, I see the angst on the faces of young mothers when they tell me they are going back to work and their child is going to Kid World or the International House of Infants.
Yes, I am very sensitive that it may require two incomes to run many households. I know that single parents have few choices other than working. However, I do know that some working couples are working because they are paying for their own toys: a new car, a swimming pool, new furniture, or whatever. They have some mismatched priorities in my opinion.
Some parents (not all) literally dump their kids in daycare so they can work to pay for toys they really do not need. My issue is with them. They have the ultimate choice and they did not choose their own baby.
For nearly two decades, I taught a seminar exclusively for day-care providers called Pediatrics for Child Care Providers. It was a required class for day-care licensing in our county. I helped child care providers to recognize infectious diseases, how to develop reasonable exclusionary policies, and how to meet the health and emotional needs of the children in their care. Childcare providers are among the most dedicated people on this planet. It is an awesome responsibility to care for children that are not your own.
Kids in day-care get sick more often than children cared for at home. The simple answer is exposure. Before that umbilical cord is cut, powerful protective immunities are transferred to the baby so that they can exist in our germ-laden world.
Breast-feeding augments this maternal immunity, which will last six months or more. Almost like magic, children begin getting sick about age six months. This is when we really start seeing colds, ear infections, pinkeye, rotavirus diarrhea, and more. Babies quickly adapt to the resident germs carried by their parents and siblings, but they are very slow to adapt to the germs of others.
Even the cleanest and most sanitary day-care facility is a hotbed of contagion. Although we dearly love children, their levels of personal hygiene are worse than you can imagine. Kids are nose-pickers, free-sneezers, snot-wipers, and butt-diggers. When you put a group of kids together, the only thing they will freely-share is their microorganisms.
When you put your child or baby in day-care, you can count the days until the first viral infection. Now granted, viral infections help build the child's own immunity, not unlike immunizations, but many children are not ready for this Battle of the Germs. Day-care providers do not charge for this extra immune-building service.
So, your child will get sick. When your child gets sick, you will need to miss work to bring them to a medical office. Many day-care providers will require a note from the medical provider before they can come back, so it could be days before you go back to work. Not only do you lose money by not working, medical care and medications are expensive. Miss enough days of work and you may not have a job.
Perhaps this is the clandestine plan of day-care children. Let's get Mom fired so she will stay home with us.
Day-care is big business. It is expensive, and it should be. Some day-care providers in our county were making less than the guy that cleans the dog cages at the pound, but someone is making a profit. As much as day-care costs, the people that actually diaper and feed your baby are terribly underpaid. Many are day-care providers are mothers who are working in order to get a discount for their own kids in day-care! Do not miss the irony here.
When you add up the cost of full-time day care, the cost of missed days from work, the costs of medical expenses, the cost of gasoline to transport kids to and from the day-care, you better be making a high salary.
Second-income people get hit with higher tax brackets and higher peripheral expenses (like fast-food meals since you are not home to cook). Add it up some day. Subtract it from your take-home pay and divide it by the number of hours that you work and commute, and you will be shocked by how little you actually make. Some parent actually SAVE money by staying home with their kids. Don't just automatically assume you need two incomes. Do the math. I think you will be surprised.
Yes, you may have to cut some expenses and carefully budget, but isn't it worth it to your kids?
What about your career? Put it on hold for a few years, or at least until the kids go to school. Work from home. Work part-time. Find other creative ways of stretching your family budget. Even the pediatricians in my office have reduced their work hours to care for their kids at home. They help out in the classroom, help their children with the piles of homework they get, and they are now able to go on field trips and attend recitals. Your children will only be children ONCE. Don't miss it.
We raised five kids and I am personally ashamed by how little I was home during those most important years. I could cry when I think of what I missed. I made many of these same mistakes that I am harping about now. With age and experience comes wisdom. I was stupid then.
Although it may be a bit too late, I am proud to be a Born-Again Parent. If only I could do it over again.
Related Topics: 5 Tips For Better Work-Life Balance, Are Kids' Diets Harmed if Mom Works?
Technorati Tags: parenting, infants, childcare, daycare
51 Comments:
Here's an entire website that is against dumping kids in Day Care...
I am in agreement with you in that babies need to bond with their parents and babies get sick more frequently when in daycare. I see no need, however, to make parents feel bad about their decision to put their child in daycare while they work. To use the phrase "dumping kids" denotes many bad connotations and only serves to be hurtful and arouse strong negative emotions. I respect your opinion, but strongly disagree with your choice of words. I'm quite sure that if parents have made the decision to place their baby or child in daycare, that they have made the best possible choice for a safe, nurturing, positive environment. Unfortunately, all of us are not bringing home a doctor's salary and if you haven't noticed lately, the price of living isn't going down anytime soon. I'm sure with a doctor's salary you don't feel the heat like the rest of us. Congratulations for sitting upon your high horse and reprimanding the working class of America...Bravo.
While I strongly disagree with the use of the word "dumping" when referring to parents who place their children in daycare, I have seen firsthand that Dr. Moser is correct on two counts: 1) There are some parents who DO NOT have to have their children in daycare, but place them there anyway and 2) You may not realize that you are working to pay for daycare.
I am not going to judge those moms and dads who put their babies in daycare when there may be other options for them. I can't speak for them in any way.
However, when my son was a baby I was working a fulltime job and had two of my children in daycare and my other daughter in first grade. I worked through lunches and wore myself out so I could get my kids to school and daycare and make my paycheck.
Then, one day my husband sat me down and said, "You are so tired. Let's take a look at our budget and see if it is worth it for you to keep working."
When we were done, I was amazed. My job was actually COSTING us money! I put out more in gas, clothes, snacks, lunches and daycare than my salary.
I felt suddenly free of a huge burden. I was able to leave my job and stay home with my children.
If you aren't sure, I'd recommend taking a look and seeing if it is possible.
I won't say it was easy for me to suddenly be a stay-at-home mom. After so many years getting my kudos from being in the business world, it took a while to appreciate the different type of satisfaction I was getting. :-)
Dr. Moser, I may not agree with everything you write, but I do appreciate reading your candid observations.
Second-income people get hit with higher tax brackets and higher peripheral expenses (like fast-food meals since you are not home to cook). Add it up some day. Subtract it from your take-home pay and divide it by the number of hours that you work and commute, and you will be shocked by how little you actually make. Some parent actually SAVE money by staying home with their kids. Don't just automatically assume you need two incomes. Do the math. I think you will be surprised.
In Canada if two spouses make the same amount as one spouse with a stay at home parent. The stay at home parent family pays 42% more tax than the double income family. Yes, keeping your income level lower helps in the tax brackets but the two equaling together means unfairness to stay at home parents!
I agree with what you say, but as anonymous says, not dumped but a choice. I agree with equality in whatever choice you make.
Please check out our website
www.kidsfirstcanada.org
Kids First Parent Association of Canada
That is why in Canada we are asking our government to " Fund the Child". Equal funding for children of equal value. If Canada will fund government regulated care, give parents the financial backing and recognition for all childcare choices, including a parent staying home, grandparent care, tag-team parenting, dayhomes. We are sick of the " donkey to a carrot " act. You want funding and subsidy, use the care that the government dictates. All parents deserve the right to make the choice for childcare that best suits their families needs and situations, but stop penalizing parents that choose care other then regulated care.
Now, you are dumping on ME! Okay, I will promise to stop using the word "dump". Perhaps, I could use the word "placement".
You bet this is my opinion, but an opinion that is not without merit or based on personal experience. I am not on a high-horse. (I don't even own a high horse...although I do encounter my share of jackasses.)
If you read the blogs carefully, you will see that I had to do the same thing...put my children in day-care. I was in school, working full-time, and had two children as a SINGLE PARENT! Throughout our lives, we have to make difficult choices, and I am sorry that I didn't always put my children FIRST. I should have worked less, fed them more mac and cheese (and less fast-food), went on more field trips, played with them more, and helped out more in the classroom. Kids do not care about the things we give them, they care more about the time we spend with them.
Children should remember their parents as having time to play with them and not too tired to read the same bedtime story every night.
I said this earlier but it didn't make it in for some reason...
I'm not dumping on you at all. Parents have a right to choose, I don't judge them. The government does. There are good things to both side of childcare. Yes, I do put parenting first but daycare is second in any form.. you do what you have to for your kids just like I do. You love them no more and no less than I do. I know that...
It's the government that needs to know this, childcare is a choice of the parents not the state!
I agree with you 100%. I've said this for YEARS and still believe it. I also believe that most of the problems with children is because of working mothers. If you have to work that's another matter.
I work at a day care for children kindergatern through sixth grade. I have 41 children and this year alone I have had 31 of the 41 children out sick. I have also sent children home more this year becuase they have been sick and parents still send them. It is ridiculus. Every night I disenfect all the toys and clean the tables before snack and at night. I don't agree with dumping cihldren in day care and I see many parents using the time for alone time at home. You can tell parents have been at home when they come in in sweat pants and t-shirts. I think parents should be spending more time with their children. I strongly believe that if you are going to have children you need to take on the responsibility of them and that means taking time off of work when they are sick and just to get bonding.
Not all children are in daycare for financial reasons. My daughter has Down Syndrome. I felt that being with other children as much as possible could only help her develop. I still feel that way.
She has been in a daycare place since she was 11 months old. They never have more than 15 children at once, they have a cook who does home-cooking, there are at least 5 members of qualified staff there at any one time. I am most certainly NOT dumping her!
The contact with other children has been beneficial for her and has also taught the other children that some of them are different (not to mention that many of the other parents had their eyes opened by her...).
Wow. I'm pretty amazed by this post. In reading through it, it seems like you have a lot of "daddy guilt" for missing time with your children. You posted:
"We raised five kids and I am personally ashamed by how little I was home during those most important years. I could cry when I think of what I missed. I made many of these same mistakes that I am harping about now. With age and experience comes wisdom. I was stupid then."
Unfortunately, your post is fairly one-sided toward "mommy" staying home ("Let's get Mom fired so that she can stay home with us"). Born again parent, you say? Really! So, would YOU stay home or would your wife stay home (or did she?). I don't see how having MOMMY stay home changes YOUR ability to spend time with your children.
Instead, perhaps you should have focused on a less demanding career. Yes, sacrifices would have had to have been made, but isn't it worth it? (Yes, I'm tossing your words back at you, and I'm not TRYING to inflame, but I would really truly be interested in your answer).
As for missing the first "things" in your children's lives, come on! That's totally sensationalized. My first child was home with me and a nanny for the first 12 months. I missed NOTHING in her life, since I was just a shout away. My second child started traditional daycare at 6 months, and 2 months later, I'm still seeing the milestones before the daycare providers do. My husband misses about the same with our second child as he did with our first.
I know a lot of fathers who have daddy guilt about missing things in their childrens' lives. Most of their wives stayed home. Unless we're ALL going to stay home all day, I don't see a solution to this, short of convincing employers to hire us all part-time, so that daddy can stay home half-time and mommy can stay home half-time.
As far as I can tell from your post, only very high earning families should consider daycare, based on the cost analysis, but then they will be attacked for using money to buy toys and expensive homes. It may surprise you to learn that many women are in the workforce because they ENJOY working. I love to spend time with my children but I also really enjoy working. I easily make enough to pay for childcare, yet it's offensive to me that a woman with a lower-earning potential will be criticized for enjoying her work based on your analysis.
So, do we ALL work for toys and expensive homes? Certainly not. Perhaps we're simply saving for our childrens' college education. Perhaps we're saving to have a second child, or a third. Or to help pay medical expenses for aging parents. Or to just be able to put healthy food on the table.
What I WILL agree with is that there are many people who do not WANT to reenter the workforce who do so, and put their children in daycare and feel sad about it. THOSE families alone can benefit from an analysis of daycare costs vs. SAHM costs. The rest of us are doing the best jobs that we can, at home and out of the home.
I agree wholeheartedly with every single point made by dianneandbabyj.
And I'd like to add a few comments about the following statement you made in your blog which made me cringe, but not how you might think:
"Even the cleanest and most sanitary day-care facility is a hotbed of contagion. Although we dearly love children, their levels of personal hygiene are worse than you can imagine. Kids are nose-pickers, free-sneezers, snot-wipers, and butt-diggers. When you put a group of kids together, the only thing they will freely-share is their microorganisms."
My first observation is that is doesn't sound like you like kids very much. I never think of my child that way; even the language you use is hostile toward children. Children are wonderful and do not understand germs yet, and why should they?
In addition, I hate to break the news, but grocery stores, YMCAs, kids gyms and playspaces, the pediatrician's office, Chuck-E-Cheese, kids birthday parties, etc. are also "hotbeds of contagion" as you put it. Would you suggest that stay-at-home parents (note I said parents not just Moms) keep their kids away from parties, playspaces, and everything that makes being a kid fun?? What about families with five kids, the oldest of which are in school? Should they be separated from their siblings so as not to spread germs at home? Or should all children be home-schooled in your opinion to keep them germ-free?
Your logic is ludicrous, your attitude toward children and working parents insidious, and your justifications errant.
Thank you. I've been a stay at home mom for 4 years. I have 2 children. It is difficult sometimes but rewarding and fulfilling. In the past, I have worked in 2 different day care centers. There is nothing "homey" about them. Children should be with their mothers. People who say that their children LOVE to be in day care 40+ hours a week are fooling themselves. Families are falling apart today because there is no home life. Everyone is at work and day care. Families who leave their children in day care by choice have no idea what they are missing.
Do you realize that some women (since they are the ones that usually stay home) work because they like to use their brains and not to buy expensive toys?
And guess what? My kids love their daycare (2yo and 4yo)! They also love their Saturday class (wirh parent present) and ocassional babysitter visits. Not because I am a bad parent, they love their moma nd dad and enjoy spending time with us, but they are also independant beings and secure in themselves and in our love to them. And I spend every minute I am home with them - we travel with them to show them different parts of the country, take to museums and zoos, my kids learned the ABCs and numbers well ahead of their classmates.
I must say I had a benefit of 1 year maternity leave (Canada) with each kid (and I had them in a row), so I did spend almost 2 years as a Stay at Home mom, but this is an issue with American government. I was happy to go back to work. Not because I don't like spending time with my children. Not because I value my career ,rpe then them (I actually had to take much lower position), but because I am also a human being, smart, hardworking, and it was nice to discover that my brain still works.
Yes, ideally I would love to work a bit less each day and had an extra time off. Unfortunatelly it is not easy to find a part-time job, or even a job closer to home, even if you are ready to accept a lower position and salary.
Just an example:
I was in the full time daycare since I was 2yo. I also stayed in "prolonged care group" after school, since my parents worked till late. As I grew up I was allowed to come home and use the keys.
When my younger sister was born my parents worked less, plus we moved in with my grandma. So she spend most of her childhood with me, grandma and part-time home parents. She spent maybe several months in a daycare.
Theoretically (and according to you) she got a better deal, right?
Well, I am much more sucesfull then her academically (honor Yve-league student vs C grades), socially, and in my relationship with my parents. I have a much closer relationship with my mom and have great memories of my childhood. Oh, I remember crying in the morning in the daycare, but I also rememebr stopping just after she passed the door and not wanting to leave my friends in the evening. I also remember her teaching me to read and write (mastered at 4yo), my parents taking me to their work, and how I respected them for the work they do - at home AND at work.
Oh yea, and my imminue system is much stronger too.
According to you, a child is immune to everything until the time that he/she stops breastfeeding.
What about those children who aren't breastfed at all or for very short periods of time?
My 9 YO was nursed for about 2 weeks. He was nursing for 20 minutes on each side every hour. (Do the math. I did not enjoy the experience at all.) When I took him in for his 2-week check-up, he had lost weight. I did the only thing that I could do. I put him on formula immediately.
When my second son came along 4 years later, I didn't even try to breast feed him. I put him on the bottle from day one.
I suppose that makes me a bad mother. Just because a woman has the equipment to breast feed a baby does not mean that she can.
It takes a really close-minded person to make blanket statements about parents leaving their children at daycare. You don't seem to understand that there are benefits to both the children and the parents. The kids get to make new friends, learn the concept of sharing, witness other cultures and interact with other age groups. The parents get to use their brains for intellectual purposes (not just singing the same song for the third time in a row).
I am a working mother. My children are in daycare (one is part-time after school, the other is full-time till he starts school in the fall). My kids are sick alot less than what you say. I do take days off work that I leave my kids in care. I very often have things to do (like planning birthday parties or getting school information gathered) that are accomplished much faster without the kids. I enjoy having time to myself. The weekends are spent with all of us as a family.
You don't care that some people are actually interested in giving their children a good life. Even if it means that daycare is involved.
As a daycare worker (preschool teacher) and mother of one with one on the way. I found your post to be absolutely misleading and totally bashing and dumping on the mothers who must make the choice to work to provide for their family.
I dont look at it as Dumping a child in daycare. Many parents have NO CHOICE, to be able to provide a good life for their child means having to put them in a daycare.
While babies DO need to bond with their parents, the social and emotional attention that an infant recieves at a center is important to their life. They grow and mature and become much more socially adaptable people.
You, sir, obviously have NO clue what you are talkng about. ANd if you think you do, take a moment and observe a daycare setting....what you will find are some of the most dedicated, loving people who work for next to nothing, to provide social and emotional, and physical care for your child.
First - I've been a SAHM, WAHM and now a working mother. I breastfed both my children and when I worked, I pumped like a cow in a bathroom to ensure my kids had the best. I have had my child in a corporate run daycare with high turnover and low paid staff and pulled him out to a privately owned daycare that paid their employees well and had only 5 kids per room. I am very pleased with that decision.
During my time as a SAHM, the loss of income was not as bad as the loss of a good health insurance through my old employer - we paid an extra $400 a month just to have health insurance than when I was employed. With mounding debts, I started working at home, spending little time with my children as I was trying to increase my business. That was not the answer.
I now work full time and know my kids are getting outside time, social interaction and no tv. At daycare, my children are thriving. Plus I as a professional am feeling satisfied.
I am so disappointed with the way this country treats families. Health care costs are outrageous as are daycare costs, tax breaks are so minor, and maternity leave is bogus - how many families can afford 12 weeks unpaid? We could take a lesson from European countries, Australia and Canada.
I think each mother / father need to make a decision about how to raise your family and YOU should stay out of it. YOU have no business judging what people do in their lives. It is irresponsible to treat women so disrespectfully. DUMPING children in daycare... please.
I think you are self righteous and should have to live as most mothers do, sacrificing everything to provide for happy and healthy children. I doubt you’d last a week.
of many single parents? Heck, it happens to lots of people, Doc, just learn to deal with it.
My thoughts on the matter are that, when we were children we could go and play in the street and families all lived fairly close to one another so you always had other children to play with and be with. Nowadays, it is nearly impossible to ensure that. I believe that children NEED other children in order to develop normally. I also feel that they need their parents but NOT to a point where they are living a one-on-one relationship. I do not think that it is good not healthy for a child to live for several years with only his/her parents and little contact with other children. If you cannot ensure that your child has sufficient contact with other children then I think it is your duty as a parent to send them to day care (or similar). It is not healthy either for a child nor for his/her parent to live in a closed circuit. They need to grow up in a child's world not an adult's.
Oh and by the way, a child is often sick in day care but is much healthier than the average kid at school because s/he has built up their immune system earlier. It's swings and roundabouts, isn't it? They are either sick sooner or later!
I think the whole article was great. Granted there are special circumstances where both parents have to work, but the opions expressed in the comment section are ridiculous. "my kids love day care" give me a break. Maybe society would improve a bit if parents focused on raising their own children and not dumping them off for somebody else to do it.
This is the first time I have felt the need to post a comment - primarily because I am so offended at your simplistic self-serving viewpoint. And this sort of thing creates just adds fuel to the SAHM vs working mom war at JUST the time women need to support each other. As a community of parents it is our responsibility to help each family find the right solution - women who want to stay at home should be able to, women who want to work should be able to find high quality child care. I work part time and until recently my son was home with a nanny. He has done so much better in the exceptional day care we moved him to, where the teachers truly love and nurture him. i am very, very lucky because I am able to work veyr flexible hours, enjoy my job and still spend much time with my son. Others are not as lucky. So lets solve the REAL problem and stop dividing women.
Some of the comments posted here are hideous..If it makes you feel better to believe your children are better off in daycare then believe it all you want.
Everything Dr. Moser says is correct. You don't want to accept it because you take it way to personally and go on the attack.
If there is a 2YO any where who prefers being with daycare providers and baby sitters more then they want their mother then you already have a BIG problem.
If your child is ill then it is your responsibility to take care of him/her until they are well. When you take an ill child to the daycare, so that you can go to work, you put everyone else's child at risk of getting whatever illness your child has got.
Get off your self-important rants and except responsibility.
Apparently Cindytoo has very little knowledge of daycare ...
You don't take sick kids to daycare, my dear, they won't accept them. Besides, kids, like adults, are contagious BEFORE they show sign of sickness so unless you're clairvoyant, it's kinda hard to perserve kids from all kinds of illness at daycare.
Tell me, Cindy, do you have children of your own?
I totally agree with this article. Sadly, I currently working as an Accountant and bring my baby to her aunts house. I am currently working on changing this though. I understand the NEED for my baby to be #1 in my life and to know she is loved. Do you think a daycare provider "LOVES" your child? PLEASE. They keep them from killing themselves yes, but they dont LOVE them. Children need love all day- hugs and smiles. They deserve to be with someone who understands what a true MIRACLE they are.
I think any parent who talks themselves into believing it is ok to leave a baby or a child in the care of a total stranger for 50 hours per week is sadly mistaken and will regret it.
I also agree though, that some parents sadly do not have a choice. To those people, my heart goes out to you.
I have been a SAHM and have provided daycare in my home for the past 8 yrs. (I have 3 boys - 8, 7 & 5 - all bf) I can speak from both sides of this argument. Some of the Moms I provided daycare for were the primary bread winners, and for them there were no easy choices. (And believe me they HATE leaving because of the guilt) I have also seen the mothers who can't handle being "stuck at home" everyday and they CHOOSE to work. Being a SAHM isn't for everyone, for some it's an easier choice to have someone else do the dirty work. I have found that those are the parents who have NO PROBLEM convincing themselves that daycare is better for their child than the mom or dad.
For my personal situation, I choose to go without a lot. My husband and I struggle financially and weve even had to file bankruptcy. I dont care, I will do what ever it takes, I will eat PB&J everyday if I have to, I am not missing a single day of this. I have found that my needs can wait a few years, it's not so easy for others.
For some people getting so defensive isn't really their way of showing a twinge of guilt that they cant admit to?
I understand you have your point of view, but your attacks on working mothers (in particular, I didn't see much mention of fathers staying home), SAHM, daycare providers and children liking daycare was very offensive.
My fiance and I both work, we have only one car and do not own a home. We would possibly like to own a home someday but cannot afford it, even with both of us working. I would also like him to stop drinking and stop being mentally and emoitionally abusive, if he doesn't and I have no income, what life will I be offering my daughter?
My daughter has had two extreme illnesses in her little life so far: RSV and pnuemonia. The first was going around daycare, so yes she probably did catch it there, and required a week in the hospital. When the daycare center teachers found out what was going on, they were scared and tearful. A few months later she got pnuemonia with "chronic asthma", wich was probably not from daycare(my brother was born with asthma and I had pnuemonia at 1, 2, and 3 years old, and our mom was SAH). Once again the daycare provider teachers and staff were scared and wanting updates on how she was doing and wouldn't put her down for days after she got back to "school". They did not treat her as a possible lost cheque, they act towards her more like aunts or older cousins.
As for children not actually liking daycare, for those of the commenters with autistic children yes this is true, mentally disabled children do not like loud noise or social gatherings. Normal children tend to want to play. I know my daughter is happy to see all her friends in the morning (she gets hugs from us then crawls over to the other babies and starts playing and laughing), and she is happy to see us at the end of the day. Even at 3 months old the doctor told us she was "a social butterfly" because of the way she interacted with people. She actually does love to play at daycare with other children. I think if for some reason I did lose my job and couldn't get another one, I would still try and keep her in daycare at least part time so she can have that social interaction she wouldn't get at home.
As for SAHM who put thier children in daycare, I think your being harsh on them too. How much quality time is a child getting watching mom scrub the tub or vacumn? Occasionally seeing housework I can see as fine, but what kid wasnts to sit screaming all day while mommy (or daddy) says "just a minute sweety, I have to rinse the bleach off of this first"? My mom used to lock us out of the house for about 4 hours a day to run around the neighborhood so she could get the house cleaned and meals prepared. Seems to me, putting the child in a center for 4 hours a day would be MUCH healthier (and safer given todays world)then locking them out of the house, or keeping them in front of the TV or video games for the same amount of time.
There are lots of pros and cons to WM and SAHM, but to assume one way is the best is unfair and small minded. Some children are not social and content to sit and play by themselves, while others crave social interaction. Families that have dual income to be able to afford grand vacations to foreign soil once a year are not necessarily depriving thier children of so much that the rewards are not worthy. And parents struggling to just get food on the table and a roof over thier heads shouldn't be made to feel badly about not being able to stay home with thier children.
It would be nice to have the choice to stay at home a full year without undue penalty, it would definitely make the breastfeeding easier (I am still nursing and pumping after 10 months), and would probably help with the seperation anxiety parents have to not have such a short clock ticking away at them, but that is just not the case in the USA (yet).
I am a family childcare provider and most will be surprised that I feel the same way as the author sometimes. I do not think children under 18 months belong in childcare. I do not want to feed bottles, the babies should be nursing! So,I just don't take chilren under that age. I am paid by the state for the care of most of my kids and out of 6 kids, I have 3 parents that work at all.
Some are with me for protective care. I guess the state thinks that if the children are with me from 8-4 the parents won't hurt them the rest of the time???
I have several parents that bring their kids to daycare regularly on their days off. Jealous? Hell yes, I'd love days off with no kids! Do I think it's right? No,I do not, days off should be spent with your children in my book. I even have a parent who rushes in to drop off her son early on her days off. It's enough to turn my stomach.
I went into this business because I didn't want to have my own children and hand them off to others to raise. I remain because I actually like hanging around with the little guys and I believe I bring love, joy, and education to the few kids and families that I can during their preschool years.
I have tears falling down my face. I always believed babies and young children should be raised at home by their mommy. But now that I am married and almost planning on having my 1st baby the reality has hit. We don't have the savings for me to stay home for a few years. Nor do we have the extra income to afford $250 a week for day care. Yup that's right $250 a week. I called a local day care center to find out the costs. I was shocked to realize that we just don't have that much extra cash. I'm so sad that having a baby within the next 2-5 years will not be a reality from me and my husband. I'm already 31 years old and soon I'll be too old. But it's all my fault that we can't afford to have a baby. I had to have the big home, the top of the line furniture in each room, the high end car, the clothes made for a queen. All the "things" I ever wanted or so I thought. I very much agree with the above blog...
I agree with you. I never could understand why women who have children go back to work ,"because it's easier", rather than mother their children fulltime. I'm referring to the "majority" who really don't have to work to make ends meet [as long as they are willing to sacrifice for the sake of the children]. They are little for such a short period of time - hearing about milestones is NOT the same and the memories are never a part of your heart.
They are lost forever. It's really a matter of priorities - yours vs the child.
I am a mother of a 3 year old and 1 year old and I agree with Dr. Moser. I am so glad someone is out there posting against both parents working and sending babies to daycare. I also read the negative comments toward the Dr.'s remarks and how there is nothing wrong with bringing your kids to daycare so you can, as someone said "use your brain" other than care for your own child. That someone and the many other working moms (b/c they like to work as some posted) must not have been the product of a daycare upbringing. If they were, than they would have a completely different opinion. As the Dr. said, if you asked the children if they want to go to daycare or stay home with their mom or dad, of course they'd choose home.
I came from a family of women with college degrees. My mother worked in a hospital and had to bring me to daycare b/c she was single with no help. I still have memories that date back as far as 2 & 3 years old of her walking out and me being left in the daycare crib crying. As a child, I of course have no idea how long it took until the daycare provider finally found something to get my mind off my mom leaving me but it stuck in my mind like it was an eternity. I have several memories of that. As well as the memories (around age4) of thinking "my mom will be back soon, just take a nap and she'll be back for me". I can't blame my mom for these memories. That's life and she didn't have a choice. But I know that I wouldn't have much of a relationship with her to this day if the tables were turned and she was married, had another income to support us but decided to put me in daycare b/c she wanted a nice house or loved to work.
What I learned on the birth of my first child is that it is no longer about what I want or need out of life but what those innocent children need. I quit a high paying accounting job at a great company, down sized my lifestyle, and lost a great social circle of friends(all working moms)b/c I believe this is the right thing to do. And no, my husband is not a dr. He has no degree and doesn't make tons of money. But you'll be surprised how easily living on one income can be. Yeah, you may have to down size but what's so wrong with that. 70 years ago middle to upper class lived in a 1600 sq ft house at the most and raised min. of 4 kids in that size house. Today everyone wants no smaller than 2200 sq ft. and may only have 2 kids to put in it. What's wrong with this picture. I am so upset to see where society has taken us and what the future holds for us b/c of it. Our kids are the future and they are only young once so sit down and do the numbers. You'll be surprised.
Working is simply not a choice for mothers in some circumstances. My mother had to go to work when I was six months old because my father was a deadbeat who would not work. My grandmother babysat while my mom worked and we have a very close relationship to this day. A family friend watched my two younger sisters and we consider this woman a part of the family. My sisters have stated that they feel very fortunate to have been in this woman's care. Personally, I will always have to work. My fiance is paying child support for another child at this time as well as going back to school. I am going back to school also to try to expand my possibilities and provide my child with the best life possible. To me, the best life possible is to provide my child with the tools to have a happy and successful life. I want to have money for her to attend college and to have the things that she needs. If I did not work, that would not be possible. I am working 35 hours per week at this point and I think that I am able to be there for her. I do not own a home, a fancy car, or indulge in many luxuries (for me, dinnner in a restaurant is a luxury). With student loans, credit cards, and bills to pay, I would have to go on welfare to survive. I want to be an example to my child. I believe that if I can balance work and family life, this will show her that it can be done and serve as a positive example. If I were independently wealthy, things would be different. But, alas, that is not my life and I (as well as other mothers who have to work) am doing the best that I can.
It seems to me quite obvious that those who rail against the doctor's comments are feeling GUILTY about their choices. He's right and you absolutely know it. If you MUST work, then do. But most of you don't need to work; you've made that choice over nurturing your child (and no, part time "nurturing" for a few hours in the evening just doesn't count.)
Well, I have never responded to a post before, but I have to respond to this because I am so truly appalled at what I've read. Here are some questions I don't see addressed here (given that this seems to be mostly a lot of name-calling and personal attacks).
If you were to ask working parents -- no, we'll say working moms because that is the focus of the backlash, right? -- their preference between (a) staying home with their children for those wonderful first few years and knowing they would HAVE a job to eventually go back to, or (b) dropping their kids off at daycare, what do you think they would say?
OF COURSE we want to be with our children!! Most working mothers do indeed want more time to be home with their kids, and not be *forced* to choose between working and being at home. The dichotomy you set up here is false and misleading. It isn't so easily one of "MUST" work or "MUST" stay home. There are many, many variables here and you don't even come close to addressing them.
Why, doctor, does your insidious rant not actively address the fact that women have no guaranteed maternity leave of any kind? That all we are offered is a pathetic 12 unpaid weeks? And what about the fact that this puts the US on par with Liberia (now there's something to be proud of!) and Papua New Guinea in terms of maternity "policy"?
Are you spending any of your energy lobbying Congress to create guaranteed maternity benefits that would more easily allow women to stay home for a year or two without creating financial hardships? Or to create legislation that protects womens' jobs so that there will BE a job for these women to go back to in a few years? Other countries have this. Why don't we?
And what professions, precisely, have those magical jobs you refer to that women can so easily reenter once their children have gone off to school? Um, I'm guessing medicine isn't among them.... or law.... or academia.... or most positions beyond entry-level in any corporation.... Study after study has shown that women who do choose to take "time off" from their careers rarely, if ever, reenter the workforce at anything even remotely approaching their original jobs or salaries, and are overwhelmingly forced into lower-paying jobs and even drastically-reduced circumstances.
In other words, it's very, very often a permanent choice if you leave your job when your kids are little.
And what about the corporate institutionalization of discrimination against working women (and it is against women) who have children?
Or the preponderance of business institutions set up so that the only recourse to "success" is reallllly long hours, so that women who want to succeed in their careers have to give up so much time with their children, or often face losing their jobs? You know, the ones that are labeled "mommy-track" and then derailed or even forced out? Why are there so few paths to success between long hours and no hours at all?
In other words, instead of once again slamming working moms who "choose" to work (and I've got news for you: most people aren't doing it for the fancy toys you suggest are such a huge motivating factor) and placing all the blame squarely on them, why, doctor, do you not take issue with the societal, institutionalized problems here -- the utter and complete lack of support that families receive in this country?
Don't you think it's ludicrous that someone posted here that they were forced into bankruptcy so that mom could stay home? How happy are those families, really, that are barely making ends meet and stressed out all the time about having enough money for the here and now, let alone to plan for anything for the future? Say, college funds? Retirement? Sure, maybe that mom got to stay home, but is it really so much better for any family's stability and happiness to be forced to the edge of bankruptcy???
Why, doctor, were there no other options for that family?
Why, in other words, do we have to choose? Because in this country, there are really few circumstances where women can so easily "opt out" in order to stay home and then go back to work, as you seem to suggest.
And what about the studies that have repeatedly shown that the most important factor in determining a child's happiness is not whether they stayed home or went to daycare, but that they had happy, satisfied parents and a stable home life?
I'm guessing my words are falling on deaf ears here. But I have to say that I'm most ashamed of all those women out there actively condeming working moms (and what's the deal with all the acronyms?). I love my child more than anything in the world. OF COURSE I hate missing time with him!
Shame on YOU for not trying to see the bigger picture and recognize that it's much more complex, painful, and societally-entrenched than you make it to be.
I am a 24 year old first time mother of a seven month old, beautiful babay boy. My son has been the greatest motivation in my life thus far. During the short time from when he was concieved until I pushed him into this world, I have completely changed my life. Now I face the most difficult challenge. My husband does not work, he stays at home with the baby while I go to work and school. This arraingment has worked so far however, the finaces are getting a little tight now. I'm almost out of school and will be looking for a position as a front office medical assistant in April. After I achieve that goal, I was thinking about putting my son in day-care so that my husband would be able to find a job. Now I'm wondering what the right thing to do would be. I'm not sure whether I should force my husband to get a job by putting my son in day-care, but then I feel horrible because I feel like I'm considering using my son as a pawn. And that is not at all what I want. I want us to be a family. I want to be able to come home every day and make dinner, read stories, play games, do homework and be a part of my child's life. I also want him to be socialized. I was always a very antisocial child and I feel strongly that it was do, in part, to not going to preschool or day-care. Yet again I am at a quandry. Left, right, forwards, backwards. What is the best decision I can make that I would be the least likely to fail?
I FIND IT INCREDIBLE HOW GENERAL YOUR COMMENTS ARE. I TOO WAS A STAY AT HOME MOM WITH TWO CHILDREN. I LOVED MY LIFE AND I THOUGHT THE SAME WAY THAT YOU DO. THEN THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED...MY HUSBAND BECAME ADDICTED TO A DRUG AND I HAD TO MAKE THE BEST DECISION FOR MY CHILDREN. I LEFT AND DIVORCED THIER FATHER. MY LIFE IS NOW COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. MY CHILDREN HAVE TO GO TO DAYCARE SO THAT I CAN WORK AND GO TO SCHOOL SO THAT I CAN PAY THE BILLS AND BETTER THEIR FUTURE. HOW DARE YOU MAKE SUCH GENERAL AND MEAN SPIRITED COMMENTS ABOUT A VERY SENSITIVE SUBJECT. PARENTS NEED ALL THE ENCOURAGEMENT AND SUPPORT THAT THEY CAN GET. WE NEED TO STOP BEATING THOSE THAT MAKE DIFFERENT DECISIONS THAN US UP AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS TRULY MOTIVATING THOSE DECISIONS. I TRULY HOPE THAT WHILE YOUR CHILDREN ARE CONSTANTLY WITH YOU THEY DO NOT PICK UP YOUR NARROW MINDED AND JUDGEMENTAL ATTITUDES.
"Yes, I am very sensitive that it may require two incomes to run many households. I know that single parents have few choices other than working. However, I do know that some working couples are working because they are paying for their own toys: a new car, a swimming pool, new furniture, or whatever. They have some mismatched priorities in my opinion.
Some parents (not all) literally dump their kids in daycare so they can work to pay for toys they really do not need. My issue is with them. They have the ultimate choice and they did not choose their own baby."
Re-read the passage above. The author is talking about people who could keep their kids out of daycare and choose not to. He's not referring to those who MUST put their children in daycare. There's a big difference ...
First of all, you act like all daycares are the same. Yes, in a child care setting your child is exposed to more children, meaning the risk for illness increases. My best friend is a stay at home mom, and my son comes to work at the child development center with me. Her kids actually stay sick more than my son. Also, my son LOVES the interaction with his friends. He doesn't freak out if I leave the room, or at the church nursery because he understands I will come back. Yes, while some of us would love to spend more time with our child, you cannot condem us because we can't. Actually-my sons is very well adjusted and loves playing with his friends everyday.
Also, yes, there are some people who do not have to use child care and chose to. I have seen one of those mothers. So, let's think about this. If a mother knows she cannot handle caring for her child 24/7 without an emotional break, and she knows her child would suffer from her not wanting to do this...is the child not better off being with people who can handle it? Don't be so condeming of something you obviously do not understand.
To the ones who said that teachers do not love the kids, they just keep them from killing themselves, and then to the ones who say we are kidding ourselves that kids can love daycare. I believe you are the ones that are kidding yourselves. I LOVE these kids. I have seen kids grow and I follow them as they get older. I have cried at "graduation", and cried with parents at a funeral. I have been there for birthdays and all. No, it is not a mother's love, but it is LOVE. If you can't love someone else's kid-then YOU have a problem. Again, not every child care situation is like this. But don't lump us all together.
Yes, a child would chose to be with their mom over child care-just as a first and second grade would. Heck-there are days I would rather be home with my mom. Does that mean they still can't love playing with a variety of toys and on equipment I could never afford to provide? Love the socialization of someone thier own age with the same level of imagination? Don't judge!
Newsflash: Last time I checked, we were a democracy. This allows each of us to decide what's best for our families. TO ALL PARENTS: Make your own choices based on what works for you. There are a lot of opinions out there on daycare, nursing, pacifiers, etc... but there are no right answers. Don't let others influence you. Make your own choices, and don't feel guilty about them. Only you know what's best for you.
This is indeed a sensitive topic. I agree with the person that mentioned how our government and society does not condone or support family life. Maternity leave is a joke. Paternity leave is non-existent. It seems that in this country parents are pushed by the government and by discriminating individuals to find a good daycare and succeed in the workforce no matter what sacrifices you have to make away from your children, but that mothers who do so are often looked down upon either way. For women in particular, it's a double-edged sword. Our society defines success with salaries and grades, and I think that's wrong.
Yes, some parents must put their child in daycare and some choose to. I believe we should be free to choose because we are the experts on our lives and we know all the dynamics involved in making a child care decision. Our society does not condone "choices". The decision to place children in daycare is a very dynamic one indeed and I don't think it's right to judge a parent solely based on a financial standpoint.
My opinion is that children need a balance. They need love, nurture, care, education, social interaction, experience, etc. If you can and want to provide that by staying at home, then you should be free to do that without judgment or pressure. If you can and want to provide that through working, daycare, and one-on-one time in the evenings and weekends, you should not be judged or pressured otherwise.
I believe that stay at home parents can provide social interaction for their children other than daycare and that they work extremely hard, 24/7 to give their children what they need. I also do not believe that children witnessing household work is damaging, especially if you teach them how they can help and feel important.
I believe that the majority of parents that send their children to daycare try their best to send them to a place that is nurturing and stimulating, and I believe that their children are quite aware of the love that they have for them. Most working parents go the extra mile after they come home to spend that extra quality bonding time with their children.
Obviously, if you put time and effort and research into either choice, one is not necessarily better than the other. The problem here- is that the choice isn't always ours, or if the choice is ours, we are often pressured and judged for that choice. We have to sacrifice and do the best with what we can give our children. If we do our best, God will provide the rest.
In the meantime, let's work on the public policy side so that we CAN make choices.
That is all.
One thing not discussed in the original post is older children. Is it considered dumping when my 2-3-4 year old kids can't stand to be home with mommy on their "non preschool" days? Sure, they love me, but ya know what? I can't compete, play-wise, energy-wise with a classroom of 10 kids their age, 2 or three adults whose only job is to PLAY AND READ to them (ie no work on the computer, no dishes to do, etc) and theres thousands of dollars of huge toys and equipment 10 steps away.
My kids adore childcare, always have.
You sound so self righteous. As a student looking ahead, when the expense will be greater than diapers and formula, I find much offense, with many of these statements. The time that my child and I spend together after our school day is wonderful. I don't feel like I am just sitting home not helping contribute to my child's future. I don't feel strained from being home alone, with a demanding child. I delight in all of her new discoveries. Maybe I wasn't the first to see them, but they are still wonderful to me. I feel some guilt sure, but that guilt serves a purpose, to ensure that when we do spend time together, that I don't take it for granted. Maybe she is sick more, often, but on THIS very site it states that this exposure helps build up an immunity to the virus. Much like over using a pest spray, will cause it to become less effective. In the first week that she was in day-care my child learned her first word. Yea!! Is learning to crawl, so that she can keep up with the other children. I was trying to do research for a paper and all I could find was a bunch of negative "research" crusaded by zealots, and a media willing to use dramatics to play on parents fears. Who are you to judge what I do?
As well, just like I can not predict what my child wants or prefers, because she is an infant, neither can you. She is not a potato, you never know she may prefer day care to me, some days I am sure that it is more entertaining than I am.
Isn't it obvious that the author is not talking about single mothers who HAVE to choose daycare? So stop getting offended. The point is many mothers do not NEED to work, are not aware that working is costing them money, etc. The point is, ask yourself am I doing whats best for my child, or am I doing what I want. Besides, whats the difference when a 5 day a week working mother comes home and cleans during the little time she has at home, and the stay at home mother? The working mother has even less time for the children than the stay at home mother. Why have children if were going to let other people raise them.
it is also frustrating that i can not tell whether or not some of these comments are from men or women. cleaning is not the top priority in my household, we clean as we go, therefore more time with baby. it is interesting that anonymous comments that mom cleans, maybe they were still referring to the single mother, who would probably agree, is more apt to clean, when a friend comes over, or when baby is asleep, still not depriving baby of quality time. maybe mom is working for herself, for a few selfish needs, are you all so Neanderthal that you don't think mom should delight in anything other than her child and her husband? live to serve everyone else? and here I thought that we had come a such a way since the cave. just because my child is in daycare doesn't mean that someone else is raising my child! Here's the thing, if you are a stay at home mom, great! I mean it, lucky you. If you chose to work, great! No one should be so insecure about their own personal choices that they chose to cyber bully other moms. Get a life. If you felt that strongly about your opinion, either way, you would a)leave your name and b) join some sort of advocacy group. By the way why should mom be the one to stay home? Because that is her "duty"? Are you going to tell me next, that it is in the Bible? All I know is that I am secure in my decision. Incorporated in a healthy way, daycare is a wonderful decision. I think I may start a daycare advocacy page...
I agree too that babies do need to bond with their parents and that children in daycare get sick way more often than those children who are home with mom or dad. HOWEVER, daycare is sadly the ONLY Option for some people. Im a single mother of a 2 1/2 year old and have been doing it on my own since day one. I was luck enough to have the opportunity to stay home for the first 2yrs. Money was beyond tight and i had to find odd end jobs that i could take my duaghter to just to barely make ends meet. I just recently started working and placed my 2yr old in daycare. Ill have to say that I dont like being away from her but havin a reliable paycheck every week is a releif. I have no family members to watch my child so daycare was my only option. Also people need to realize that yes maybe some people dont HAVE to have their child in daycare because say their husband makes more than enough to pay the bills in the house but say God-forbid somethig happens to them where is the wife going to be left? with no job? no experience etc? Doesnt she deserve to work and contribute to the household to? even if its only for a few measly bucks a week???? NEVER LET A MAN MAKE ALL THE MONEY!! YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS!!
If you know of a stay at home mom with a 2 and 4,7 and 9 year old. And that mom was on the computor IM ing all day and igoring the kids making the older ones entertain the yourger. What wupouold you say to thet mom. The two older kids say mom is on the computor all day. 6am till 10 pm everyday.
are you ignoring your kids right now?
WHOLE-HEARTEDLY agree with this gentleman's article. Parents, especially those of the late-20's/early 30's generation, listen up! Your kids could care less about your circle of friends. They need mommy and daddy at home and home-cooked meals. Remember, our homes and how we take care of our children (i.e. our future politicians, religious leaders, etc.) those first five years is absolutely the foundation of everything good (and evil) in our world, I'm convinced. Parenting is downright hard and frustrating, on the best of days, but, in today's co-parenting world where dads are just as hands-on as moms, it's time we give our children the time and attention they deserve. I took a huge cut in pay to work from home when my two boys were born. A small sacrifice for my "small fries". Some days, I want to pull my hair out because I basically have two very full-time jobs, but it's worth every minute to be able to kiss those boo-boos myself!!
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