Father's Day -Hold the Neckties
We have all had "those weeks" filled with chaos. This was one of those weeks for me. (Start sad violin music here...)
I have five adult children (two biological; three step children) and they all have angst about Father's Day. Sure, fathers would like to be acknowledged for more than our spermatic contributions to their lives, but I really do not need any more neckties. I stopped wearing them two years ago when I read a study that neckties may be a source of infectious disease spread. Bow ties apparently do not spread disease, but they just look stupid. I put the word out the kids that they could really skip Father's Day (and Stepfather's Day) this year. I will probably forget by Sunday anyway.
My father died of lung cancer when I was six years old so my own memories of him are very faint. I remember standing on the front car seat as we took a drive to visit his friend (Obviously in the era before child car seats, seat belts, and common sense.). I remember him sick in bed. I remember one huge hug when he was in the hospital. And, I remember his funeral like it was yesterday. My mother remarried a year later to someone that did not particularly care for kids (or me). He, too, died a decade or so later, so basically my experience having a father is quite sparse.
I tried to be a good father to my own children and step-children, but I could have done better. Fathers have that double-edged sword of responsibility that always hangs over our heads. We feel that we need to work hard (For some of us, too hard) to provide for our children and then they grew up while we were at work. (Insert "Cats in the Cradle" song here...) I regret that I did not spend more time just playing with them. Father's Day seems to be a remind me of times that I missed that I will never see again.
I am thrilled when I see fathers bring in their kids to the clinic. I always have to ask them their names. The mother's name is prominently located just above the child's name on the chart jacket, but not the father's. I should change that. Often shadowed by the mother, dads tend to under-estimate their role and influence. I think fathers are VERY important and I love seeing med take an active parenting role, although I do admit they are often clueless when it comes to giving a detailed medical history.
"What kind of formula is your baby using?" Blank stare. "What was her birth weight?" Blank stare. "You may want to change the baby's diaper. Oh, you forgot the diaper bag."
In the medical office, dads are often blamed for the genetic shortcomings of the children -- excessive ear wax, body hair, BO, ugly feet, etc. "He's just like his father." Well, good! At least you know you won't have to do any DNA testing. I once saw a troubled 13 year old girl; six feet tall, 150 pounds. She was seeing me because of some mysterious hair growth on her abdomen. She was brought in by her clueless, 6 foot, 9 inch, 270 pound behemoth of a Dad who had more hair than Sasquatch. Medical mystery solved.
(Start Hallmark Card music here...) So, if you are lucky enough to have a father, share some of those fond, childhood memories with him this Sunday. Tell him how much he means to you and what influence he had on your life. That's all we want. No ties.
Related Topics: Are You a Superdad?, (WebMD Video) Father's Bonding Helps Self-Esteem
Technorati Tags: fathers day, parenting
- My elderly mother is back in the hospital with respiratory failure and pneumonia.
- My youngest son is getting married next week, so we are trying to get our home prepared for the house-sitter (dogs, cats, bird sitter, actually). I have yet to buy them an appropriate wedding present.
- I have a big, old operating room table sitting in my driveway (a long story!).
- My cat developed an abscess from a fight with the other cat, costing me $350 at the vet. Everyone seems to be on vacation at work, even the people who are supposed to be working.
- There is a vomiting and diarrhea epidemic in our community and my schedule is unusually impacted with an endless parade of Barfers and Poopers.
- And, worst of all, both my wife and I totally forgot our wedding anniversary. I do get credit for remembering first!
- And, I just realized that Sunday is Father's Day, a time when hard-working Dads get more neckties.
I have five adult children (two biological; three step children) and they all have angst about Father's Day. Sure, fathers would like to be acknowledged for more than our spermatic contributions to their lives, but I really do not need any more neckties. I stopped wearing them two years ago when I read a study that neckties may be a source of infectious disease spread. Bow ties apparently do not spread disease, but they just look stupid. I put the word out the kids that they could really skip Father's Day (and Stepfather's Day) this year. I will probably forget by Sunday anyway.
My father died of lung cancer when I was six years old so my own memories of him are very faint. I remember standing on the front car seat as we took a drive to visit his friend (Obviously in the era before child car seats, seat belts, and common sense.). I remember him sick in bed. I remember one huge hug when he was in the hospital. And, I remember his funeral like it was yesterday. My mother remarried a year later to someone that did not particularly care for kids (or me). He, too, died a decade or so later, so basically my experience having a father is quite sparse.
I tried to be a good father to my own children and step-children, but I could have done better. Fathers have that double-edged sword of responsibility that always hangs over our heads. We feel that we need to work hard (For some of us, too hard) to provide for our children and then they grew up while we were at work. (Insert "Cats in the Cradle" song here...) I regret that I did not spend more time just playing with them. Father's Day seems to be a remind me of times that I missed that I will never see again.
I am thrilled when I see fathers bring in their kids to the clinic. I always have to ask them their names. The mother's name is prominently located just above the child's name on the chart jacket, but not the father's. I should change that. Often shadowed by the mother, dads tend to under-estimate their role and influence. I think fathers are VERY important and I love seeing med take an active parenting role, although I do admit they are often clueless when it comes to giving a detailed medical history.
"What kind of formula is your baby using?" Blank stare. "What was her birth weight?" Blank stare. "You may want to change the baby's diaper. Oh, you forgot the diaper bag."
In the medical office, dads are often blamed for the genetic shortcomings of the children -- excessive ear wax, body hair, BO, ugly feet, etc. "He's just like his father." Well, good! At least you know you won't have to do any DNA testing. I once saw a troubled 13 year old girl; six feet tall, 150 pounds. She was seeing me because of some mysterious hair growth on her abdomen. She was brought in by her clueless, 6 foot, 9 inch, 270 pound behemoth of a Dad who had more hair than Sasquatch. Medical mystery solved.
(Start Hallmark Card music here...) So, if you are lucky enough to have a father, share some of those fond, childhood memories with him this Sunday. Tell him how much he means to you and what influence he had on your life. That's all we want. No ties.
Related Topics: Are You a Superdad?, (WebMD Video) Father's Bonding Helps Self-Esteem
Technorati Tags: fathers day, parenting
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