All Ears: Halloween: The Devil's Holiday or Just Plain Fun?

Halloween in the late 1950s was definitely one of my favorite holidays. We would trick or treat in our small town for three or four days! There would be a parade down the main street of town, and we were allowed to wear our costumes to school for a day. We would collect tons of candy treats and eat it as we ran from house to house. Some people would give us apples. We threw those away, along with boxes of raisins and other healthy snacks, like popcorn. We were after candy, Man!

For the people who would turn out all of their lights, pretending they were not home, we would dish out our bag of tricks, usually throwing dried corn kernels at the windows, or soaping them up. Yes, we would smash a few Jack-O-Lanterns, too. As we grew older, we were not particularly interested in the candy, but we sure loved those tricks. Pushing over outhouses was particular favorite.

The highlight of any evening of mischief was always having dogs or angry geezer chase us. I vividly remember running full speed through a dark backyard only to be nearly strangled by a low-hanging clothes line. Once, I hit a crotch-high tree stump during a quick escape. If we were caught (rarely), we would most likely be sentenced to washing those soaped-up windows or standing up the outhouse. Fairchance, Pennsylvania only had one policeman and he was usually home protecting his own property. We all knew where he lived.

Halloween in 2006 is a bit different. Every year, stories surface about razor blades buried in apples (Remember, we threw those away...not because of the fear of razor blades, but because they were heavy, usually bruised or rotten, and besides, everyone had an apple tree in their yard), or tales of needles stuck in your Milky Way.

One of my former clinics used to x-ray bags of candy for free. Any sicko that would try and harm a child needs to be put away for a long, long time. To this day, parents are reluctant to allow their children to accept candy from unfamiliar houses. As a parent of five, I personally inspected all of the collected goodies before the kids good eat it. I was always high suspicious of those little Baby Ruth bars (my favorite), so I took those.

I now live in a very rural area. With the exception of our grandchildren, we do not see children trick or treating. However, five years ago, we lived in a nice, upscale neighborhood that attracted kids like flies. Our first Halloween there, we counted over 300 kids. We even ran out of candy, and had to shell out handfuls of pennies that I kept in huge jar. A quick trip to the grocery store found the candy shelves empty, except for those little boxes of raisins. I picked most of them off of our lawn the next morning, before I hosed the toilet paper out of the trees.

In a pediatric clinic, we are well-decorated for Halloween with spider webs, skeletons, ghosts, and pumpkins scattered about. The kids love it. The staff will dress up on Halloween, including a few of the doctors. A few years ago, Dr. Grattendick, dressed as a six-foot four bunny walked in to perform an adolescent sports physical. The surprised teen inquired if he was the doctor. "You bet", he answered. "That's just great", he responded.

Listen, it isn't easy doing a hernia check with bunny mitten, you know. I really should dress up myself, but I always have this fear of wearing a gory mask with huge ears and one eye hanging out, only to enter the exam room and face a parent with one eye and big ears!

For weeks, I have been asking the kids what they are going to be for Halloween. The little girls like to be fairies, princesses, or Dora the Explorer. The boys still like Spiderman, the Hulk, or Bob the Builder. One young man last week, told me he was going as a booger. Apparently, there is a booger suit you can buy at the local costume store. Working with snotty nose kids all day, I tend to have a booger suit of my own at the end of the day.

Some families do not celebrate Halloween for religious reasons because it is the Witch's holiday or Satan's Day. Whatever. While all families have the right to raise their children as they see fit, I don't see that Halloween in its purest, innocent form is harming little children. The vast majority of them are only interested in the fun of dressing up and eating their fill of candy for one day of the year. They are not going to cross over into the Dark Side where candy surely would melt.

There is a local church that has an alternative called Trunk and Treat. Children dress up in more religiously-correct, non-evil costumes and go from car to car in the large church parking lot collecting goodies from the participating parishioners. There are also Harvest Festivals that permit tasteful costumes, without abandoning the true fun of dressing up.

I am really looking forward to working today. I love examining princesses and pirates. They have ears, too. As a matter of fact, I should only charge the pirates two dollars for the visit. A buck an ear (get it?).

Here are a few tips for a Safe Halloween:

Help your children choose more tasteful costumes. Some are just over the edge.

Adults must accompany and supervise all children. Stand in the back, but be there to watch and protect your children.

If you are going to be trick or treating in the dark, avoid the black costumes. Children tend to dart from house to house and do not notice cars.

When dark, kids should carry a flashlight, glow-stick, or flashing lights.

Only trick or treat in your own neighborhood or accept goodies from people you know or trust.

Many malls have daytime trick or treating from store to store. This is much safer for the younger crowd.

It is fun to be frightened a bit during Halloween, but you may have to reassure the little ones, especially at bedtime. Or, plan on sleeping with the Hulk that night.