Rinse, Lather, and Repeat
I read the directions on the shampoo bottle. Why would you wash your hair, only to do it again? I assumed it was just a ploy so you would use twice as much shampoo, but now I know the real reason - memory. Have you ever wet your hair in preparation for washing it, only to be distracted? (Don't go there!) You finish your shower and prepare to dry off and then it hits you. Did I remember to wash my hair? As you comb and dry your hair you notice that it looks a bit like Martin Short's SNL character, Ed Grimley. You look for the remnants of shampoo suds on the shower door, and there are none. So, it's back in the shower... again. Thanks for the memory.Today, I couldn't find my car keys. They were not in their usual spot, so I assumed my wife took them by mistake (again) or moved them during one of her pre-holiday housecleaning marathons. Before searching the entire house, I called her at work and ask her to check her purse. Nothing. So, I searched the usual suspects - pants pockets, jacket pockets, briefcase, the car, fruit bowl - Nothing.
Finally, after an hour of being micturated-off (look it up), I found them in the recliner chair. I also found thirty-five cents in change and an old remote as a bonus. I have absolutely no idea how they got in the chair, since I have about twenty keys on there, like a janitor. I never put them in my front pants pocket. I once worried about this short-term memory problem, but was told it was most likely overload from multi-tasking, which I do. Apparently, it is not considered pathological when you lose your car keys. It is only pathological when you forget what your car keys are for!I have even written Blog topics in the past, only to be informed by WebMD that I did the same topic (written differently, of course) about a year ago. As a matter of fact, I had to check my files before writing this one.
I go in and see a patient and politely introduce myself... to my neighbor. My pocket is filled with To Do notes, including some that seemed to have my own phone number written on them. This mystery was solved several years ago, when I caught myself writing down my own phone number on the paper when the person on the phone asked for my number. Some days, I spend a considerable amount of time writing my daily To Do list, only to forget it at home. When I finally find it, I discover that I did not do any of those things.
Although I should, I do not make grocery lists. I find a list at the grocery store circumvents a man's right to impulse buy. When I happily return home with a can of smoked oysters, chili mix, Thai food, and light bulbs, I realize that I forgot the bread and milk - my original quest. A project in the workshop typically results in three, if not four, trips to the hardware store.
During my university-teaching days, I wrote my name on the board followed by my degrees: Rod Moser, PA, PhD, CRS. It didn't take very long for someone to ask me what CRS meant.
"It means, Can't Remember ----", I replied. "Any request that you make of my services must be in writing."
I routinely forget computer passwords, especially the ones in our clinic medical records that are required to change every other month. I am terrible at remembering names, but I am excellent at remembering diseases of the nameless people that I have seen. It is not unusual for me to be at a grocery store and run into a vertigo, or a chlamydia walking around. The vertigo will weave over and speak to me; the chlamydia nods and then slinks away.
Why is that we forget important things, like anniversaries or birthdays (including my own), but yet remember obscure facts? I still remember my mailbox combination at college, my grandmother's phone number from 1957, and address of a cousin in Chicago when I was ten years old. I remember obscure medical facts like a Jeopardy contestant and easily remember favorite recipes. Sadly, I remember every joke that I have every heard. I suspect that some day, I will be a patient in a nursing home, not remembering my name, but will happily entertain the staff with my endless repertoire of tasteless humor.
The brain is a mysterious organ, indeed.
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Technorati Tags: memory, memory loss, short-term memory
14 Comments:
I'm terrified of running into one of my healthcare providers in a public place. I once had an extremely embarrassing procedure performed on an area I'd rather not mention, and the PA was this cute, perky, young lady who was super-sweet. It just seems like those things should only be done in the presence of old, mean, gruff women who never leave the house, not someone I might actually see in a restaurant or bar.
I've often wondered if they remember stuff like that. Now I know.
Nope...we forget those things nearly immediately (usually). If we do remember, we are great at pretending amnesia to protect your anonminity.
I love this! Probably because I can relate; hope we end up in the same nursing home...
I agree with be terrified about running into a healthcare provider in public places. I actually have made it so all my doctor's are in different towns than the one I live in.
Also, with the key situation. I kept losing my keys when I was in high school. So I made my keys bigger with key chains galore. That still did not stop me from losing them. It got the point where my younger brother who could not drive would bring his own set of car keys so he would not have to wait for me to find mine. Now that I am 25 and have a one year old daughter I still lose my keys. Most of the time it's because my daughter has been playing with them(the are still big and make fun noises) and she left them someplace in the house. I think keys were meant to be lost.
I don't think losing things has anything to do with age. I have always been known for misplacing things like keys, TV remotes, etc.. My son does the same thing. I think it is something about the way some people think. Some of us are just more organized than others.
I'm a local pharmacist, and I can truly identify with patient's fears that I "know too much" about their (sometimes embarassing)conditions. Dr. Moser is correct that we are particularly good at selective amnesia. I am puzzled, however, by patients assessments of my ability to recall their conditions and medications without any kind of warm-up or prompting. Have you ever asked a pharmacist to "refill that medication I used to take...you know the one..and see if I need any of the others, too". Wow, you've really over-estimated my abilities to recall information! I'll take it as a complement, I guess.
Pharmacists fill several HUNDRED different prescriptions per day. Medical providers only see a fraction of that number of patients. I am absolutely amazed how much my pharmacist friend remembers about the people that he sees. Personally, I don't see how he can do it...talk about multi-tasking.
From our end, patients ask for that little white pill that helped them last time. Of course, I am expected to remember! And, I really have no idea which one of those many pills was white, since generic meds are often different colors, etc.
My clinical life was so much easier when we had a pharmacist IN our building. I could just walk over and ask......
Well, I'm going on 66 this year and you make me feel better! I have a tendency of forgetfullness every once in a while and I know it. I figured that's half the battle. However, one person in particular, who is 6 years younger then me, doesn't miss a chance to tell me. I know longer share with him the screwy little things I forget...now I just pretend I don't hear him. :+)
I solved the key problem a long time ago. I bought a small wall plaque with hooks to hold keys and I hung it right next to the front door. As soon as I enter the house, the keys go on the hook. It is a good habit to adopt just in case there is an emergency ice cream run, you know where the keys are!!
P.S. It must work because the last time I visited my son, he had one hanging right by his front door too! They might not listen but they certainly watch what their patents do!!
This was hilarious and full of truth.
I relate all too well. I work for one of the largest bio-pharmaceutical providers in the nation; and I can't for the life of me remember what funny comment I was going to leave about this post. haha! THAT in itself is humor at it's finest. I'm seriously like a walking "rain man" when it comes to random facts and bits of knowledge about insurance and disease states, though. Go figure.
Just yesterday, my twin sister sent me the e-mail about a woman who was going to wash her car, then noticed her flowers needed watering, etc. , etc. and one intended task led to another and at the end of the day she didn't get her car washed. Well, she said 'who do we know that does THAT?' I sent her an email saying I do that all the time and my husband must have gotten the same email awhile ago, and he told me that I do that. I agreed. My sister and I refer to ourselves as 'Half a wit', because our brother used to tease us about being twins. I really enjoyed that story. Mary from Colorado Springs
There is an old story about a doctor (probably an old one!) who took out his pen to sign a presciption, only to discover that he was using a rectal thermometer.
"Hummm, he says, I wonder where I left my pen??"
About twenty years ago, I work with another physician who liked to leave early...as soon as he completed his last patient. Halfway through a physical exam (about 3 PM), he was paged for a phone call. As soon as he completed his call, he totally forgot that he left a naked patient on the exam table, waiting for him to finish. He closed his briefcase and left. His nurse, assuming the patient had left, did not go back in the exam room. At 5:30 PM, I was the last to leave the office, so I turned out all of the light.
Out of the darkness, I heard, "Hello?" I turned the light back on, and tracked down the voice. I open the exam room door, only to find an unusually patient woman, still dressed in the paper gown, waiting for him to return.
"When is he coming back?", she asked.
I told her that he had an emergency, and apologized profusely for her wait. I finished the physical exam and informed her that there would be no charge for her visit today.
I am a nurse that works in a community that specializes in Alzheimer's Dementia. I will say this...memory is a form of intelligence....at least shortterm is. Those who have a high IQ must constantly learn in order to sustain what they already know. Longterm memory is for those of average intelligence and is known to be a natural intelligence. Look for my documentary coming out sometime in 2007. My findings are not scientific based rather, 17 years of observation of Alzhemier's patients.
Christy of Fountain,CO
Dr.Moser,
I throughly enjoyed your article on the shampoo. My problem is I sometimes wash 3 times or have been know to try and wash with cream rinse. In my defense I do have bad eyesight and "brain fog" from fibromyalgia and CFS. I know a certain amount comes with age, (54) but some have it from age 5 and up. Up until my daughter was 5, she was like a sponge. At 3, if she asked how to spell a word, I would just have to tell her once. When she turned 6, everything changed. At 33 and 2 children later, she still can't find her things. She used to lose the house keys so often, I made her pay to have them changed. She's learning though. She has a hook by her door just like mine now. I do try and do brain tests to keep what I do have. I am taking Aricept, 5 mg, and it is like night and day with the brain fog. If I wasn't on it, I couldn't be typing this note. I know it was not intended for this use but it works. I called the manufacturer to find out what the long term side effects might be. Of couse they don't know, because everyone dies. Better to live with 3/4 of a brain than a 1/4 of one!
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