Selective and Non-Selective Hearing
The phone message read, "Please call Mom. Jason is either deaf or ignoring her".
After a careful ear examination and observation of his response to speech, it was concluded that Jason, age six, was indeed ignoring her. Even at this young age, Jason was developing that fine art of selective hearing -- tuning out conversations that he does not want to hear. He's becoming a man.
I often see parents that feel their child has true hearing loss, or at least fluctuating hearing. Although fluid in the middle ear (effusion) can cause muffled hearing equivalent to having one's finger in the ear, the history often suggests that the child is simply not paying attention. The same child that does not hear that it is time to take a bath, may be perfectly able to hear cellophane being unwrapped from a candy bar from across the house.
Personally, I may have a little hearing loss. If there are distracting background noises, I have a problem. My wife always seems to tell me the important things to do when I am in the shower with soap in my ears. Even when I tell her that I can't hear what she is saying, she will continue to babble on about something I am supposed to do.
A few minutes ago, she shouted some request to me from downstairs in the kitchen. I am upstairs, in my office, working on the computer with music playing. I don't have a clue what she said, but since I don't smell smoke, I am not going to worry about right now. I don't really consider this hearing loss. This is more of a problem related to the speaker, not the listener. At night, when all is quiet, I can hear a clock tick in a different room, or an animal skulking around outside.
When I am engrossed in a good movie, my wife always starts telling me about some issue at work. I try to appear interested, but I am definitely more interested in the movie. She definitely notices my wavering attention span as she tells her story.
Men tend to get to the point of a story quite quickly since we know we have short attention spans. Women, on the other hand, are used to conversing with other women who demand endless "details" and an exhaustive preface to their stories. She does get miffed when I tell her to get to the point, or cut to the chase. I like to think that I am a good listener, but I do admit that my wife tends to lose her audience sometimes. All of us can be better listeners, so I bought a digital video recorder so I can instantly freeze live television when my wife tells me her daily work stories.
A few weeks ago, our clinic had a mandatory active-listening workshop. I did not attend. Not that I wasn't interested, but it was on my day off after two exhausting 12-hour shifts. I did not think I would be in the right frame of mind for an active listening workshop. I was more in the mood for active sleeping. Also, the fact that this class was mandatory seems to make me not want to do it. If anyone asks why I wasn't at the class, I will just claim I wasn't listening when they announced it.
When I was a child, my mother used to harp at me constantly. Pick up your clothes. Stop teasing your brother. Go outside and play. Mow the grass. Go live somewhere else. Did I listen to her? Sometimes.
My mother was emotionally unpredictable and physically abusive. Perhaps she was reacting to my selective hearing by zoning her out, but she once hit me in the head with a telephone receiver (those old heavy ones) and knocked me completely unconscious. I have no idea how long I was out, but she was still talking on the phone when I awoke on the floor. Nowadays, that act would put her in jail. My mother is now 86 year old and resides in a nursing home. She is still very cantankerous.
In the clinic situation, I am always an attentive listener. The patient history is the most important component of any medical encounter. It has been said that if you listen to a patient long enough, they will reveal their diagnosis. Mothers (women) most often accompany children to medical visits, so I have similar issues that I face with my wife. The stories can go on... and on... and on, like the Energizer Bunny. Since I only have about 15 minutes for a clinical encounter, I do have to help the parent or patient focus a bit; and sort out the details that are relevant.
I am absolutely mind-boggled why patients talk when you have your stethoscope in your ears? We are desperately trying to listen for subtle heart murmurs over gurgling bowel sounds or crying, and either the patient or the parent is rambling on about something. I usually tell people to breathe in and out quietly through their mouths, mainly so they will get the idea NOT to talk during this examination component.
Like the farmer that was observed beating his mule with a wooden club. When someone told him that he should not strike his animal like that, he responded that he was just trying to get the mule's attention. The mule, like many people, often has selective hearing.
Related Topics: Hearing Loss? Family Doctor Can Test With New Device, PDA Device Helps Hearing-Impaired Enjoy Theater
Technorati Tags: hearing loss, relationships, listening
After a careful ear examination and observation of his response to speech, it was concluded that Jason, age six, was indeed ignoring her. Even at this young age, Jason was developing that fine art of selective hearing -- tuning out conversations that he does not want to hear. He's becoming a man.
I often see parents that feel their child has true hearing loss, or at least fluctuating hearing. Although fluid in the middle ear (effusion) can cause muffled hearing equivalent to having one's finger in the ear, the history often suggests that the child is simply not paying attention. The same child that does not hear that it is time to take a bath, may be perfectly able to hear cellophane being unwrapped from a candy bar from across the house.
Personally, I may have a little hearing loss. If there are distracting background noises, I have a problem. My wife always seems to tell me the important things to do when I am in the shower with soap in my ears. Even when I tell her that I can't hear what she is saying, she will continue to babble on about something I am supposed to do.
A few minutes ago, she shouted some request to me from downstairs in the kitchen. I am upstairs, in my office, working on the computer with music playing. I don't have a clue what she said, but since I don't smell smoke, I am not going to worry about right now. I don't really consider this hearing loss. This is more of a problem related to the speaker, not the listener. At night, when all is quiet, I can hear a clock tick in a different room, or an animal skulking around outside.
When I am engrossed in a good movie, my wife always starts telling me about some issue at work. I try to appear interested, but I am definitely more interested in the movie. She definitely notices my wavering attention span as she tells her story.
Men tend to get to the point of a story quite quickly since we know we have short attention spans. Women, on the other hand, are used to conversing with other women who demand endless "details" and an exhaustive preface to their stories. She does get miffed when I tell her to get to the point, or cut to the chase. I like to think that I am a good listener, but I do admit that my wife tends to lose her audience sometimes. All of us can be better listeners, so I bought a digital video recorder so I can instantly freeze live television when my wife tells me her daily work stories.
A few weeks ago, our clinic had a mandatory active-listening workshop. I did not attend. Not that I wasn't interested, but it was on my day off after two exhausting 12-hour shifts. I did not think I would be in the right frame of mind for an active listening workshop. I was more in the mood for active sleeping. Also, the fact that this class was mandatory seems to make me not want to do it. If anyone asks why I wasn't at the class, I will just claim I wasn't listening when they announced it.
When I was a child, my mother used to harp at me constantly. Pick up your clothes. Stop teasing your brother. Go outside and play. Mow the grass. Go live somewhere else. Did I listen to her? Sometimes.
My mother was emotionally unpredictable and physically abusive. Perhaps she was reacting to my selective hearing by zoning her out, but she once hit me in the head with a telephone receiver (those old heavy ones) and knocked me completely unconscious. I have no idea how long I was out, but she was still talking on the phone when I awoke on the floor. Nowadays, that act would put her in jail. My mother is now 86 year old and resides in a nursing home. She is still very cantankerous.
In the clinic situation, I am always an attentive listener. The patient history is the most important component of any medical encounter. It has been said that if you listen to a patient long enough, they will reveal their diagnosis. Mothers (women) most often accompany children to medical visits, so I have similar issues that I face with my wife. The stories can go on... and on... and on, like the Energizer Bunny. Since I only have about 15 minutes for a clinical encounter, I do have to help the parent or patient focus a bit; and sort out the details that are relevant.
I am absolutely mind-boggled why patients talk when you have your stethoscope in your ears? We are desperately trying to listen for subtle heart murmurs over gurgling bowel sounds or crying, and either the patient or the parent is rambling on about something. I usually tell people to breathe in and out quietly through their mouths, mainly so they will get the idea NOT to talk during this examination component.
Like the farmer that was observed beating his mule with a wooden club. When someone told him that he should not strike his animal like that, he responded that he was just trying to get the mule's attention. The mule, like many people, often has selective hearing.
Related Topics: Hearing Loss? Family Doctor Can Test With New Device, PDA Device Helps Hearing-Impaired Enjoy Theater
Technorati Tags: hearing loss, relationships, listening
5 Comments:
I truly think some women have selective hearing. When I lived at home with my parents I never ever listend to them when they would talk to me. Especially when the sentence started out as the dishwasher needs to be emptied, your room is a fire hazard or your bathroom needs to be cleaned. I still have it when my parents come to my house and look at my bedroom. It's never clean mostly because stuff gets thrown in there from other rooms so the rest of the house looks clean. Also, whenI was in college and the teachers were talking I would tune them out half way through a three hour class. My attention span was about 50 mins. and then they lost me. So it's not just men with selective hearing. Women do it too.
You are so right....my wife tuned me out a few minutes ago.
ALL young ladies and young men do not have selective hearing until after they are married. No further comment necessary!!
I really oppose the term selective hearing when discussing hearing loss. I have both...you need to know that people who have hearing loss are affected by tones of voices, exterior noise in an area that interferes with what they hear. Selective hearing can be caused by distractions and/or not focusing.This is another kind of a problems if it interferes with learning/listening etc. It may need to be checked by an having a learning evaluation completed. Then, I suggest that you learn how to listen or supplement this with tape recording etc in an educational setting.
Why is it whenever I'm asleep I can hear my doorbell, but not my telephone which is on the nightstand beside me?
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