Relationships and Medical Practice - Making a Connection

Over three decades of practice in the same community, I have a share of "grand-patients" - children of children that I have cared for over the years. There are patients in my practice that I forget immediately after I leave the examination room, but over the years, there have been numerous special patients and families that you never forget. No, it is not their illnesses or their special medical needs that trigger this attachment, but rather who they are as people.

When I first started in clinical practice, my physician boss advised me never to get personally involved in the people that I treat. Be friendly; but don't be friends. Although it sounded odd, I followed his advice for many years, missing opportunity after opportunity to get to know the wonderful plethora of human beings on this planet. I absolutely love people, so when I changed jobs so that I could raise my children in a smaller and safer community, I totally rejected this advice. I wanted to be a part of the community.

If my patient owned a gas station, I bought gas from him. This came in very handy during the gas crisis in the late 1970's. People lined up their cars for hours just to get gas, but not me. My friend (and he is still my friend) made sure my tank was full. When his kids were sick in the middle of the night, I was there for him. This is the way America used to be and the way it should be now. Medical providers are not different species. We are humans and humans simply enjoy the company of other humans.

I look for connections with patients that we all have. Everyone on this planet has a connection of some sort. We have the same hobbies; lived in the same area in the past; drive the same cars, or kids going to the same school, or whatever. If you talk to a person long enough and are really interested in who they are, you will find that all-important connection. Sometimes, the connection is profound.

Learning about your patients is a powerful way to understand who they are as humans. You don't treat an "ear infection in room one," you treat a PERSON who just happens to have an ear infection in room one.

So, during my ongoing effort to get to know people, you find friends. Back in the late 1970's, I took care of a family called the Hammons that I really loved. They were the greatest kids and the nicest parents you could imagine. I didn't need a chart when I saw them. I knew their medical histories, and who they were in my heart. Jump thirty years later and a lot of water under the bridge of life. A mother is bringing a little child to see me. She is smiling. This little child was another "grand-patient".

"Do you remember me?" She asked. "My name is Kim Hammon."

"Kimmy! You have grown up.", I responded.

"Of course, I remember you. How's your brother? How's your Dad, Randy?" A fond connection was re-established across three decades of our separate lives.

Her Dad and mother divorced years ago. Her mom still lives in town. Her Dad remarried and is now "sort-of-retired", living in Loreto, Mexico. She gave me his e-mail and asked that I send him a note. I remember that family like I saw them yesterday. There are days when I can't remember where I parked the car, or what I came upstairs for, but I fondly remembered this family. We had a connection.

E-mails were exchanged. Plans were made. To make a long story shorter, my wife and I just returned from a 2800-mile road trip to Loreto -- the longest house call that I ever made. This is my "old patient" and friend, Randy, with his grandson, Aturi.

Related Topics:

• Talking Religion With Your Doctor
• WebMD Video: Human Side of Being a Doctor

Technorati Tags: medical practice, doctor, health and wellness