Ten Tips to Keep Your Teens Summer-Safe
Several years ago, my PA wife and I worked for the county Child Protection Center. Our job was to perform evidentiary medical examinations on children and teenagers that were sexually-abused or raped. We would dread the summer months, especially the weekends, since this was the High Season for teenage sexual situations. It would not be unusual to be called out to perform a half dozen rape examinations on a summer weekend.The summer social scene is very exciting: No school, relaxed rules, and ample free time. There are frequent parties, sleep-overs, outings, concerts, and camping trips. Parents work during the day, often leaving teens to watch younger siblings.
Some parents will go on vacation and leave teenagers for a week or more with an easy-going grandmother or with one of their friends. Many older teens are even left alone when parents go on short trips or overnighters. Even when I was a teenager, a house without parents was an automatic party. I spent many Sundays helping to shampoo spilled beer out of my friend's carpet before the parents came back, or trying to replace guppies and goldfish in the aquarium that were systematically swallowed during out-of-control drinking games.
We quickly discovered that throw pillows do not cover up stains or cigarette burns. As soon as parents would come home, the phone would ring. It would be the neighbors ratting on us. Before I graduated high school, two of my best friends were killed in car accidents involving alcohol.
Young teenage girls (age 12-15) are too young to work, can't drive, and like to hang out at swimming pools, water parks, amusement parks, shopping malls, etc. with other teenagers. They are also proud of their new, rapidly-changing bodies and are not afraid to show them off. Coupled by their inexperience with the opposite sex, questionable judgment, and their inherent naivete about the dangers around them, they often get themselves into very dangerous situations. Teenagers are risk-takers savant and the summer months bring it out in full force.
Younger teenage girls are frequent victims of sexual crimes during the summer months. Teenage girls will meet a "guy" (usually older) and be easily convinced to take a ride in his new car. They typically lie about their true ages, as do the perpetrators. We found that teenage sexual crimes and alcohol use went hand in hand. Teenage girls quickly succumb to the effects of alcohol or recreational drugs. Date rapes are much more likely when teens are drunk. It is essential that parents keep the lines of communication painfully open in the event that your teen has been sexually abused or becomes a victim of a date rape. Immediate medical attention and prompt psychological support is paramount.
Underage drinking is rampant. When our son was caught with beer hidden in his car, he refuses to this day to reveal the source. He is now thirty-two years old and has his own teenage daughter. We suspected a convenience store in the neighborhood, but were never able to prove it. The bottom line is that he did not have any problems buying alcohol or cigarettes. Marijuana, speed (methamphetamines), LSD, Ectasy, etc. could simply be bought at school or concerts. Statistics show that teens who begin to drink before the age of 15 are FOUR TIMES more likely to develop alcohol dependency.
Just because teenagers look like adults, in no way implies that they are adults-in-training. They are still children; emotionally and intellectually. Remember that. Parents, wanting to be their friends and be known as "cool parents" frequently provide alcohol at quasi-supervised parties. Talk about mixed messages! Recently, a local Mom was arrested for providing alcohol to teenagers, and having sex with two of them. She was one of those "cool" Moms.
Alcohol and injuries are other inseparable pairs. Although I no longer work for the Child Protection Center, I am patching up injured kids every day. This week, I sutured the head of a teenage boy who cracked it on a tree limb trying for new heights on the trampoline. I put on a half-dozen upper arm casts last week from a variety of risk-taking behaviors (some involving alcohol). And, my PA wife who runs the Teen Clinic, is booked weeks in advance for birth control visits. Since I tend to see many of the teenage boys in our practice, I have ordered an impressive share of sexually transmitted disease tests since the beginning of June.
Ten Tips for Frightened Parents of Teenagers:
- Don't relax the rules. If anything, take 'em up a notch. And, don't be surprised when the rules are stretched or broken.
- Make consequences clear... and make 'em harsh. Write them down and get your teenagers to sign it. Seal the bond of trust with a hug.
- Supervise Your kids. Your teenager has plenty of friends; you need to be their PARENT. Be prepared and expect to be unpopular from time to time.
- Openly discuss alcohol use and abuse. Make it clear that teenage drinking is illegal and dangerous. As a parent, if you drink at home, do so responsibly and count your beers. Lock up your liquor. Make sure your vodka hasn't mysteriously changed to water./li>
- Ask questions. Stay involved. Teenagers need and deserve a certain amount of privacy in their lives, but that does not imply parents should stop parenting.
- Check and double-check teenage party plans. Talk to those supervising parents. Do not hesitate to make surprised visits. Embarrassing your teenager is your privilege and right.
- Make sure your rules are not ambiguous. Teenagers are famous for being vague or "changing plans" at the last minute. If there is a loophole in the rules, a teenager will jump through.
- If you are going out of town, do not leave teens unsupervised overnight. Even responsible teenagers get into big trouble when the supervisory distance increases.
- Follow through with your consequences. Your primary mission is to keep your teenager safe and on the right road to responsible adulthood.
- It's okay to say NO.
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Technorati Tags: advice, tips, health and wellness, summer, parenting, teenagers
4 Comments:
Rod Moser p.a. have 17 year old daughter..need your continuing imput and ideas.great stuff. they need you on daily staff as writer.may save some lives. keep it going.
Rod moser p.a. need your continuing ideas as you are on right track w.prcticla adviace! Have 17 year old daughter and i know you know and need to read your stuff on a daily bases!
LSD is beneficial to the expansion of one's consciousness. Don't let someone tell you otherwise just because it happens to be illegal at this point in time.
most teens bring it upon themselves by not being protective over themselves.everyone needs to experience the little things in life but you need to know what your doing while experiencing them. not saying that they are something you need to go through, but those who do need to know what they are doing and never let your guard down.
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