All Ears: A Pediatric Halloween and Silly Medical Visits

Next to Christmas, Halloween is probably the best season for decoration in a pediatric office. I have not been to work for about a week because of a medical conference, but I suspect when I return tomorrow, there will be fake cob webs, pumpkins, and friendly-looking ghosts all over the place.

Every year, the staff will dress up for the kids (picture from last year). The children are absolutely thrilled to have their temperature taken by a pirate, or get weighed in by a dinosaur. Even some of the medical staff will dress up. Personally, I have not. It is not that I don't appreciate the fun that is involved; I just find it difficult to address sensitive health issues, say, dressed as a rabbit or something.

Speaking of rabbits; one doctor does dress up as a six foot rabbit for Halloween. He once entered the room to do a football physical exam on a 17 year old. When a big rabbit asks you to "turn your head and cough," you had better hop to it.

I did dress up when I was speaking at a conference a few years ago. The topic was fever in children, so I decided that I would dress up like the Devil, complete with a full red outfit, cape, pitchfork, and a long, pointy tail. I made my entrance into the lecture hall with the music of Peggy Lee singing, Fever. I approached the podium, took out two red candles and lit them (with a small ring device hidden in my hand). I taped a laser pointer to the pitchfork and used it as a pointer. I finished by firing off an 8 foot blast of fire from a hidden fire cannon filled with flash paper. The audience loved it. The local fire marshal did not. I am not sure how the local religious community viewed it, since this conference was in Salt Lake City, in the shadow of the Mormon Temple. Personally, I think the Mormons would have approved.

Not all parents appreciate this wonderful holiday for kids. They see witches and ghouls as satanic and evil. Perhaps, they are, but not in the context of holiday fun. Some of the local churches have their own Harvest Festival (renamed, of course) and allow children to dress up in tasteful outfits. It is not really appropriate to go to a church function with an eyeball dangling from your face and a knife stuck in your head. Still, every year, we do get a few complaints from the religious crowd.

We give out sugar-free candy (lollipops) to the children if the parents permit. If not, we give them a sticker. Our group literally spends thousands of dollars every year on suckers and stickers. Of course, this is just the cost of doing business when your customers are children.

Last week, I saw a very nice family of Orthodox Jews; Dad and two cute little boys. At the end of the visit, I offered the boys a lollipop. The father refused, unless they were kosher. Guess what? They were! On the wrapping of the lollipop was the kosher symbol. The boys were thrilled, and so was I. After a medical visit, there is nothing like a little treat to make your day.

I think we should start giving treats to our adult patients. I wonder how they would react if I offered them an adult treat? Care for a pack of sugar-free gum? Or, give them a sticker that says, " I had my prostate checked today! Have you?"

Medical offices are scary places for everyone. Even when I see my own medical provider, I get a little anxious. Medical providers have an obligation to make their patients RELAX during the visit, and leave on a positive note. It doesn't cost any more for a friendly medical visit than one of those ritualistic, stern visits by some doctor that doesn't even give you eye contact. If a medical provider cannot be friendly and personable, they should go into radiology or pathology.

I keep a few magic tricks in my office drawer. I have a thumb that lights up, and a magician's bag that has a hidden compartment. I can change a girl sticker to a boy sticker with the wave of a hand!

Patch Adams, a family practice physician/clown, made his patients laugh by wearing a red, rubber nose. So that someone would not be offended by his demeanor, he would always ask, "Do you want a serious medical visit today, or a silly one?" Most people would pick the silly one.

We often take life too seriously. Take time to lighten up and be silly once in a while. Wear a red, rubber nose into your next board meeting or IRS audit. You could make someone smile; someone who desperately needs it.

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