Holiday Buying Frenzies, Hunting, and Leftovers

The Friday after Thanksgiving has been termed Black Friday, a term that did not amuse my African-American receptionist. She thought it was something else and was a bit upset. I pointed out that there is also a January White Sale that I am not fond of either. One must always try to be politically-correct at all times, especially when people are upset anyway because they have to work the day after Thanksgiving.

So, on B-word Friday, stores open at 5 AM with super-sales and people are running through those doors like stampeding cattle, snatching up those bargains (only three per store?), and trying to complete their holiday shopping obligations in one day. Today is the day after Thanksgiving, and I am seeing patients. I would still rather be here than the mall. Actually, I would rather be sitting in my reclining chair.

The clinic parking lot was practically empty this morning. People that have the day off were either sleeping, doing dishes from yesterday, or traveling from family get-togethers. Personally, I like the day after Thanksgiving better because of the leftovers. Some foods are even better the next day. Unfortunately, I did not bring a turkey sandwich today, because tonight is our delayed Thanksgiving feast. My wife has been preparing for it all week, except for remembering to take out the frozen turkey to thaw. When I left this morning, it was swimming in a sink of warm water in an effort to expedite the process.

With five adult children with conflicting obligations, we often have to negotiate for holiday time. This year, not only will we have Thanksgiving on Black Friday, we will have Christmas on December 21st. Getting together as a family is really more important than those specific dates. One must be flexible.

If it continues to be slow today, I will just work until early afternoon. I will head home and try to rescue my wife in the kitchen. I love to cook, but she will not let me at the turkey. I tend to experiment with various marinades and cooking methods. She keeps reminding me of the black, charred turkey we had a few years ago when I left it unattended in the Weber. This was a real Black Friday. The turkey was edible; good on the inside, but looked like it survived a forest fire. We did not take a picture of it. I only tried to cook one deep-fried turkey. It, too, was not successful. Not only was it greasy, I nearly burned down the neighborhood. There is nothing like five gallons of peanut oil bubbling in your backyard, starting random little grease fires, to get your undivided attention. I also cooked a small area of my lawn in the process. Now, I know I am going to get some postings from successful deep-fry specialists out there. I am happy it worked out for you. Regional Burn Centers are on full alert during Thanksgiving.

This morning on my way to work, I spotted our resident flock of wild turkeys. It appears that most survived the holiday as well. Although I would not put it past some of my neighbors to shoot one of them, I counted all nine this morning. I didn't get a chance to see the news, but every year the President pardons a turkey. I always wondered if Richard Nixon said, "I pardon this turkey, because I am not a cook."

In my youth, we all went hunting. I even worked summers on a game farm that raised quail and pheasants for the hunters to shoot in the winter. Perhaps, this is what turned me off to hunting. On cold winter days, I had to go to the bird enclosures, catch a dozen or so live birds and put them in burlap sack. Then, about 10 minutes before the paying hunters arrived at the designated field, I would dump out or carefully place the birds so the dogs could find them. Fortunately, most of the hunters were not very good, so the vast majority of our farm-raised birds escaped to freedom. Escaping a hunter's bullet is not as good as a Presidential pardon, but it is still better than the alternative.

I like animals, so I was really glad to be a bad hunter. Before hanging up my hunting gear at age 17, I bagged one wild turkey, a few rabbits, and a squirrel. While I do not like the idea of killing animals, but I do love to eat 'em, so I am glad there are people out there to do it for me. Please don't link my Blog to PETA. If God didn't want us to eat turkeys, he wouldn't have made them taste so good.

Now, it is Sunday...Fat Sunday. (Hopefully, this will not insult fat people. ) I call it Fat Sunday because I have been eating non-stop since Thursday. Pumpkin pie...apple pie...leftover turkey/gravy/mashed potatoes...cranberry sauce...some kind of jello-crap...and my famous ginger sweet potatoes. Today, we made turkey soup and I must say I am getting tired of it now. We have about five gallons of soup that my wife promised pack for my lunch tomorrow, along with the obligatory turkey sandwich. I will try and eat it, but right now, the thought of it makes me sick.

Maybe I will call it Vomit Monday.

Related Topics:

• Beyond Thanksgiving: A Week of Healthy Meals and Recipes
• Thankfully Light Leftovers

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