All Ears: Christmas is Over (sort of)

It was Christmas Eve. Within minutes, the wild frenzy of unwrapping was over. Three grandchildren sat partially hidden in a mound of torn paper, ribbons, bows, and packing material looking at their loot. Santa was generous this year, as always, regardless of past behaviors or continuous weeks being on the infamous Naughty List.

The 14-year old pocketed her cash and gift cards and retreated to her room to add it up. The nine-year ripped into a box containing a delicate remote control helicopter, losing a few critical parts in the process. Two adult men quickly commandeered the jury-rigged helicopter to "test it out". Hours later, the nine-year old was still waiting for his turn. In the background, a Tickle Me Elmo was having some sort of seizure and psychotic episode. The two-year patiently waited, playing in a cardboard box, while his stuff was being assembled. Mumbles of parental obscenities could be heard over the background drone of Christmas music. The mood of the room was high, but in a few, short hours; some of those expensive toys and the mood of the room would be broken. After 365 days of waiting, Christmas was over even before it officially began.

Because our adult children had other commitments, we had about three little pre-Christmases this year. Most of the kids came for a dinner four days before. My wife bought the biggest chunk of meat that you can imagine - a pricey ten pound filet tail. After systematically trimming and marinating this carnivorous treat, I seared it on the barbeque; monitored carefully with my new digital meat thermometer. I must say that it came out perfect. Not unlike a pack of lions engaged in feeding frenzy on the African plains, this beautiful cut of meat disappeared before my eyes. The only thing missing was vultures circling overhead. My dreams of having leftovers vanished. I wiped away a tiny tear.

On Christmas day, we were alone (but not lonely). We slept in, had our morning coffee, and went to the movies in the afternoon - a very low-key day. We made a big pot of homemade soup which we shared with our two dogs. Christmas day at the theater was surprisingly busy - I couldn't even find a convenient parking space. Apparently, other families needed to get out of the house, too. The line at the snack bar was out the door; only two teens were working behind the counter. According to the apologetic manager, four others called in "sick". Although illnesses tend to be more prevalent this time of year, so is calling in sick when you are not. It was okay, though. I am not a big fan of paying $6.50 for ten cents worth of popcorn; and another $6.00 for two small bottles of water. I don't care how much a person can afford it, overpriced movie treats are just wrong!

On December 26th, I was back to work. This morning, it was non-stop upper respiratory infections, a few ear infections, and upset tummies. There were two worried-well children (kids who are basically well, but their parents are worried that they will become sick in the next few days). I checked my schedule for the afternoon, and I see at least three orthopedic injuries. I am guessing, but I suspect a new skateboard, trampoline, or the infamous bike/homemade ramp combination may have been involved.

Many families are still on vacation, heading off to Disneyland or destinations unknown. Today is my day off and I have been requested to pick up my grandson (the nine-year old) to spend the weekend. I have visions of getting him to help take down decorations, stack firewood, etc.), but I know that won't happen. I will end up going to the movies again to see one of the many kid flicks, spend twenty bucks on movie food and video games, and then fall asleep during the film (I actually do this!). UPS finally delivered my wife's Christmas gift today. The package looked like they drug it behind the truck for about six miles. It was ripped open and rattled. Fortunately, customer service will make it good. A new one will be delivered soon; perhaps tossed out of a plane onto my driveway.

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