Getting To Know You

When you see your medical provider, there is usually a pre-determined reason. You may be sick or having a regular check-up for an ongoing medical problem. There is also a pre-determined time for your appointment. Typically, your medical provider will shoot in and shoot out in the blink of an eye, so there is rarely time to really get to know each other. You would think that two different people - people who have an intimate (albeit, professional) relationship - would really want to know each other better than they do.

Our practice has adopted EMRs - electronic medical records. We can no longer quickly scan through a thick paper chart to refresh our memories about you or your case. We must rely on a bland, superficial summary created in the computer that gives us mundane details such as your birthday or your allergies. The paper chart used to have a "profile" sheet on the left that had your address, occupation, marital status, place of employment, type of insurance, and your children's names. We would jot down your preferred name, too. No one really wants to be addressed as Rupert, if they preferred to be called Larry. That one sheet often gave us enough information to jog our strained memories and make connections. That sheet is no more.

Back in the late 1980's, one of the more popular books on the New York Times bestseller list was Swim with the Sharks by Harvey Mackay. One chapter in Mr. Mackay's book was entitled "The 66-Question Customer Profile" - basically 66 different things you should know about every customer so that you can make important personal connections. For instance, the other day, I noticed that a child was wearing a sweatshirt from Central Michigan University (CMU). Since I taught at CMU for a few years, we immediately had a connection. His father and grandfather were CMU alumni, and his grandmother still lives in that small university town. I made an important connection. Earlier in the week, I had an Egyptian family as patients. I informed them that one my good friends was Egyptian. They just happen to know him very, very well. We made a connection.

We have a very large staff of medical assistants, receptionists, nurses, patient service representatives, and clerical people. So many, in fact, that if it wasn't for name tags, I would not have a clue who the new ones are, even though I work with them every day. And, these people really do not know anything about the medical providers. To remedy that situation, we recently had a lunch mixer to socialize.

Sitting on our lunch table was a roll of toilet paper. We were told simply to pull off as many sheets as we wanted, but were not told why. Once everyone had their supply of toilet paper, we were told to tear it into individual squares. For each square that we have, we were to tell something about ourselves that no one really knew. This was an outstanding exercise for making human connections. There were people who were born in the Ukraine or Mexico; people that had Internet business on the side; people that sing in church choirs or play instruments; people who raise horses or chickens; people who have six kids at home, and so forth. I learned more about my coworkers, in that one hour lunch, than you can imagine. All of us made important human connections with each other.

It is a very sad state of affairs when your medical provider doesn't know your name, or remember that they just saw you yesterday. Yes, we are absolutely overloaded with daily details, but it important to remember...at each visit...that you are seeing a person. I absolutely hate it when my medical assistant tells me that I have a "cough in room one". I have to tell her over and over again that there is a PERSON in room one who happens to have a cough.

I must admit that my memory is not as good as it used to be. I need little hints and notes to jog my strained memory. I used to write little temporary "memory joggers" on the margins of my paper charts. For instance, if a little boy tells me that he just got a new golden retriever puppy, I would write (in pencil), "golden retriever puppy" in the margin of the chart. The very next time that I would see that little boy, I would ask him about his puppy. If a family was heading out to Disneyland, I would jot it down. At subsequent visit, I would ask them about their Disneyland trip. They thought I had a marvelous memory, but I really was finding and making human connections.

You can't possibly find out 66 things about a person on the first encounter, but over time, you can. Your medical provider needs to find out 66 things about you; and you need to find out 66 things about your medical provider. It only takes a minute to ask your doctor where he went to medical school or why he picked this particular profession. At first, he may be surprised that you are interested. At some future visit, ask him about his hobbies, and so forth. Soon, you will really know that person in the white coat. It will not take you long to find one or more of those important connections.

Humans really enjoy the company of other humans. We are social animals that desire these connections. Even though your doctor may act like a different species, he is human...just like you. Until these important human connections are established, you may be just a "cough in room one" and he may just be some arrogant guy in a white coat. How sad.

I will tell you a few things about myself that you do not know...

• I once received a letter from John F. Kennedy.
• I collect antique laxatives.
• I once launched a pregnant hamster in a homemade rocket (she and her offspring survived).
• I won grand prize in a state science fair
• I once sold flower seeds, salve, Grit newspapers, and Bibles door-to-door.
• I put myself through college.
• I shot a turkey (once) and did not enjoy the experience
• I survived near-drowning in a white water boating accident
• I once sang "The Star Spangled Banner" at an Oakland Raiders game (with a barbershop quartet)
• I rode Arnold Palmer's horse (Arnie)

If you post a comment on this blog, you must post at least one interesting thing about yourself that few people know...

Related Topics:

• Patients School Doctors in Manners
• Tips for a Successful Doctor Visit

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