Life Lessons from Dr. Moser
Lesson 1: When you need help moving, your friends and family have other plans.
My adult daughter needed some help moving to a new apartment. Her father (me) just happens to own a truck and trailer. I offered to help as long as she could line up some of her buff brothers and their friends to carry the big stuff. One brother (who also has a truck) was out. He had knee surgery for a meniscus tear earlier in the week. The injury occurred from coaching Little League baseball (don't ask). Two other brothers live out of town. And the last brother suspiciously wouldn't answer his cell phone.
Of course, her new apartment is on the second floor requiring a tricky navigation of wooden steps, turns, and other hazards. My daughter did find two friends to help on day one, but day two was all my wife and me. There is nothing I love to do more than lug a big couch, heavy shelves, and mattresses up a few flights of stairs.
My daughter has agreed to provide a home for my parrot, Dorian. Dorian is an African Grey and is about 30 years old. Besides myself, my daughter is really the only person that can handle her. Dorian was a male (presumably) for nearly 16 years, until he/she decided to start laying eggs on a regular basis. Of course, she does not have a mate (other than me), so the eggs are just for practice. Dorian does not like my wife, or cats. I have both, so she is going to live with my daughter, at least for now.
Lesson 2: When someone hits your vehicle, they develop memory loss.
I had an interesting weekend, highlighted by being involved in a four car accident on the freeway. I not exactly sure what went on behind me, but there was a lot of screeching of tires and swerving, quickly followed by the thud of a large object hitting the side of my trailer. This, of course, caused a little butt-tightening fish-tailing, but I was able to control it and pull to the side.
A young boy stopped behind me. He said that he didn't remember hitting my car, but the paint on my trailer did match the paint on his passenger side door and I did have a bit of his green paint on my trailer - an odd coincidence. And I thought I had a short-term memory! As much as I can piece together based on witnesses who stopped, two other vehicles tried to occupy the same lane, causing them to hit each other, and so forth. I was just an innocent bystander, traveling along minding my own business. Now, I will need to get my trailer fixed...
Lesson 3: Heavy books should be packed in little boxes.
Several of my daughter's heavily-packed boxes contained books. One cardboard box must have weighed three thousand pounds (perhaps, I exaggerate). Some smaller boxes seemed to contain helium balloons or cotton. Being the only male in the Sunday moving crew, I was assigned the heavy boxes, of course. So, instead of lugging a huge box of books up the stairs, risking a hernia, I had to repack the boxes at the bottom of the stairs, or carry up a stack at a time.
Lesson 4: Turkeys do not respect landscaping.
Large amounts of bark have been appearing in my lawn along the edges of the planters. I rake it back, but the next day it appears again. This weekend, I caught the culprits - a family of wild turkeys; Mom and her seven juvenile (delinquent) turkeyettes. My dog happily chased them away, but they simply walked back in a few minutes and continued their ongoing destruction of my landscaping. I don't mind them eating the bugs, but I do mind the excavation. This morning, the devastation was even worse.
Ever since we seriously reduced the family of coyotes living on our hill, we have been up to our butts in turkeys. When the coyotes finished eating the turkeys and rabbits, they ate my favorite cat, George. It is just one ecological disaster after another in the Sierra Foothills.
I guess I could lay out some feed and fatten them up for Thanksgiving. The last time I killed and ate a wild turkey was when I was a high school teenager in Pennsylvania. It tasted pretty bad; very stringy - certainly not as good as those hormone-injected and artificially-fattened store birds.
I spent some time on the Internet researching turkey repellents; and yes, there are such things. I have not decided if I am going to spend the money and buy one though. Maybe I will see if I can get the coyotes to come back.
Lesson 5: If you don't want to tramp in dog poop, walk in the grass.
I take a lot of pride in my lawns. They are green and lush and I water them regularly when our irrigation system is functioning. We have two dogs and about three acres for them to roam and poop wherever and whenever they want - sort of a Poop Heaven. Do they poop in the lawn like most dogs? No, they poop in the sidewalk; right in the middle where a human walks. Perhaps they do not want to be eaten by a rogue coyote during their morning constitution; or perhaps they do not want to get grass on their feet. Regardless of the reason, my sandals seemed to have some sort of poop magnet.
Lesson 6: You can't spend $20 at Costco.
I needed a box of copy paper. It was cheaper at Costco than the local stationary store, so I stopped on the way home. I ended up spending over $200 on stuff that I really didn't need, and they didn't even have the proper copy paper. I had to buy it at the local stationary store.
Lesson 7: Always look in the mirror before you leave the house.
I wake up about 5:30 AM, partly due to the dogs and partly due to my own bladder. I tend to have plenty of time to have a leisurely cup of coffee, watch the news, take a shower, and get dressed for work. I have never been late for work in my life. This morning (Monday), I was a mile from home when I noticed that I had not dried or combed my hair after my shower. It had that same, spiky look when you towel dry it. I had to go back home and finish my grooming. I still made it to work on time and did not spend the day looking like a derelict.
Life truly is a on-going series of lessons.
Related Topics: Technorati Tags: life lessons
My adult daughter needed some help moving to a new apartment. Her father (me) just happens to own a truck and trailer. I offered to help as long as she could line up some of her buff brothers and their friends to carry the big stuff. One brother (who also has a truck) was out. He had knee surgery for a meniscus tear earlier in the week. The injury occurred from coaching Little League baseball (don't ask). Two other brothers live out of town. And the last brother suspiciously wouldn't answer his cell phone.
Of course, her new apartment is on the second floor requiring a tricky navigation of wooden steps, turns, and other hazards. My daughter did find two friends to help on day one, but day two was all my wife and me. There is nothing I love to do more than lug a big couch, heavy shelves, and mattresses up a few flights of stairs.
My daughter has agreed to provide a home for my parrot, Dorian. Dorian is an African Grey and is about 30 years old. Besides myself, my daughter is really the only person that can handle her. Dorian was a male (presumably) for nearly 16 years, until he/she decided to start laying eggs on a regular basis. Of course, she does not have a mate (other than me), so the eggs are just for practice. Dorian does not like my wife, or cats. I have both, so she is going to live with my daughter, at least for now.
Lesson 2: When someone hits your vehicle, they develop memory loss.
I had an interesting weekend, highlighted by being involved in a four car accident on the freeway. I not exactly sure what went on behind me, but there was a lot of screeching of tires and swerving, quickly followed by the thud of a large object hitting the side of my trailer. This, of course, caused a little butt-tightening fish-tailing, but I was able to control it and pull to the side.
A young boy stopped behind me. He said that he didn't remember hitting my car, but the paint on my trailer did match the paint on his passenger side door and I did have a bit of his green paint on my trailer - an odd coincidence. And I thought I had a short-term memory! As much as I can piece together based on witnesses who stopped, two other vehicles tried to occupy the same lane, causing them to hit each other, and so forth. I was just an innocent bystander, traveling along minding my own business. Now, I will need to get my trailer fixed...
Lesson 3: Heavy books should be packed in little boxes.
Several of my daughter's heavily-packed boxes contained books. One cardboard box must have weighed three thousand pounds (perhaps, I exaggerate). Some smaller boxes seemed to contain helium balloons or cotton. Being the only male in the Sunday moving crew, I was assigned the heavy boxes, of course. So, instead of lugging a huge box of books up the stairs, risking a hernia, I had to repack the boxes at the bottom of the stairs, or carry up a stack at a time.
Lesson 4: Turkeys do not respect landscaping.
Large amounts of bark have been appearing in my lawn along the edges of the planters. I rake it back, but the next day it appears again. This weekend, I caught the culprits - a family of wild turkeys; Mom and her seven juvenile (delinquent) turkeyettes. My dog happily chased them away, but they simply walked back in a few minutes and continued their ongoing destruction of my landscaping. I don't mind them eating the bugs, but I do mind the excavation. This morning, the devastation was even worse.
Ever since we seriously reduced the family of coyotes living on our hill, we have been up to our butts in turkeys. When the coyotes finished eating the turkeys and rabbits, they ate my favorite cat, George. It is just one ecological disaster after another in the Sierra Foothills.
I guess I could lay out some feed and fatten them up for Thanksgiving. The last time I killed and ate a wild turkey was when I was a high school teenager in Pennsylvania. It tasted pretty bad; very stringy - certainly not as good as those hormone-injected and artificially-fattened store birds.
I spent some time on the Internet researching turkey repellents; and yes, there are such things. I have not decided if I am going to spend the money and buy one though. Maybe I will see if I can get the coyotes to come back.
Lesson 5: If you don't want to tramp in dog poop, walk in the grass.
I take a lot of pride in my lawns. They are green and lush and I water them regularly when our irrigation system is functioning. We have two dogs and about three acres for them to roam and poop wherever and whenever they want - sort of a Poop Heaven. Do they poop in the lawn like most dogs? No, they poop in the sidewalk; right in the middle where a human walks. Perhaps they do not want to be eaten by a rogue coyote during their morning constitution; or perhaps they do not want to get grass on their feet. Regardless of the reason, my sandals seemed to have some sort of poop magnet.
Lesson 6: You can't spend $20 at Costco.
I needed a box of copy paper. It was cheaper at Costco than the local stationary store, so I stopped on the way home. I ended up spending over $200 on stuff that I really didn't need, and they didn't even have the proper copy paper. I had to buy it at the local stationary store.
Lesson 7: Always look in the mirror before you leave the house.
I wake up about 5:30 AM, partly due to the dogs and partly due to my own bladder. I tend to have plenty of time to have a leisurely cup of coffee, watch the news, take a shower, and get dressed for work. I have never been late for work in my life. This morning (Monday), I was a mile from home when I noticed that I had not dried or combed my hair after my shower. It had that same, spiky look when you towel dry it. I had to go back home and finish my grooming. I still made it to work on time and did not spend the day looking like a derelict.
Life truly is a on-going series of lessons.
Related Topics: Technorati Tags: life lessons
4 Comments:
I had a parrot at one time that was male, but after 10 years started to lay eggs. That is odd to hear another story of a parrot that switched sexes!
The parrot REVEALED her gender...didn't "switch sexes" (as far as I know). The past, birds had to be examined to determine the sex, I didn't think Dorian wanted a vet probing around her/his back door. Now, they can take a little DNA blood test (expensive) if we want to know for sure. I am sure we both were surprised....
You are a funny guy.
I know a guy with a Moluccan cockatoo he had been told was male. Then one day he found an egg in the cage...
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