Going with The Flow in Public

My friend, Shawn Anderson, left on his bike from San Francisco a few days ago, and made it over the Sierras to Carson City, Nevada yesterday. He should be on his way to Salt Lake City across the desert. The last time I went that way, I was in a car (of course). The weather should be in the low 100’s, unless he decides to ride at night (my suggestion). Of course, riding at night has its own hazards, like getting hit by a drunk driver or a distracted 18-wheeler. You can follow his progress on the Extra Mile America web site.

Shawn is a vegetarian, so it can be difficult for him to get sufficient protein and calories on this 3000 plus mile journey he has undertaken. He had some heat exhaustion today, which is not surprising – he is riding a long a blacktop highway that holds and reflects heat, the sun is beating down on him, the air temperature is around a 100 degrees, no shade, and pouring out bodily water like a sweat faucet. I am sure he has one of the hydration packs strapped to his back, but it would not take very long, under those conditions, for the body to lose precious electrolytes like potassium and sodium.

The more you drink, the more you should urinate, unless of course you are losing water in other ways. Sweating and rapid respiration will deplete the body of fluids faster than you can imagine. One might assume that long distance riders or bicycle racers would not need to urinate that often, or do they? Shawn is going for distance and duration, and is not really racing, so I am sure he stops at a convenient roadside rest or gas station, or relieves himself modestly behind a tree (should he find a tree in the middle of the Nevada desert, of course). Men are really anatomically blessed for random urination. We go with the flow, so to speak.

The husband of one of my co-workers is a professional bicycle rider, sponsored by a pharmaceutical company that distributes insulin. His job is to ride in as many bicycle racing events as he can during the year wearing the company logo. During those intense races, I asked him what happens if he needs to pee. I thought it was a good question. I assumed the he stopped at a portable potty and did his thing, but NO! What he told me next both shocked and troubled me.

Without stopping, or even slowing down, he is able to pee on the run! How can this be done, especially when wearing those tight spandex pants? Practice. Practice. Practice. Apparently, Chris has it down to a fine art of whizzing while whizzing by on his bike. He said that during televised races, a camera may zoom in on the act in progress, but will quickly pan out. Apparently, all (or most) bicycle racers have developed this unusual skill.

When we were making a long open-ocean crossing in a kayak, you are supposed to stop, climb out of the kayak; hang on the side of the boat and pee. Sounds simple enough, but climbing back into a kayak in the ocean is not as easy as getting out. Perhaps remember that scene from Jaws where the shark grabbed the legs of a startled swimmer, pulling her under for a meal; my wife decided it would be considerably faster and safer just to pee in her wet suit while in bow of the tandem kayak! After a several hours of paddling in the hot, Mexican sun, it became obvious what she was doing. When we stopped for the day and set up camp, it was her job to wash out the kayak.

We were traveling in Japan several years ago when I saw a man in a three-piece suit urinating along a busy road. He was standing on the sidewalk and peeing into the street. My Japanese friend did not seem to notice. He said they are trained not to pay attention to that sort of thing. Many of the public toilets in Japan are co-ed. My wife was shocked to walk by a busy bank of urinals in active use on her way to a stall. The Japanese may be trained not to look, but my wife is not Japanese. She looked.

You don’t think a great deal about urinating, until of course, you desperately have to go. Men are not as choosy when it comes to locations; an alley is just fine. If there is a dumpster, even better. Women on the other hand want a clean, private toilet. When desperate, women will also circumvent decency and do what they must. Those long dresses with big petticoats in the open prairie must have been convenient for those wagon train crossings.

To pee, or not to pee; that is the question. Is it nobler to just hold it?