Happiness is a Warm Puppy (Actually, Six Puppies)

In the week that I was gone, the puppies doubled in weight. They are now walking around, barking a little squeaky bark, and watching us with those dark eyes. My super-tired female, Lexi, is barely able to keep up with their increasing nutritional demands. With six puppies and only five nipples on one side, one puppy has to crawl in on her back, like an automobile mechanic. They nurse like a hungry school of piranhas, about every four hours, twenty-four hours a day.

Lexi , short for Lexapro, was my canine antidepressant after the untimely death of my other dog, Herman. My whole purpose for breeding Lexi was to get one male puppy. Lexi had six puppies - five girls, and my one little boy. His name is Zac, short for Prozac. I have also decided to keep one of the little girls, too. My granddaughter wants to name her Ellie (short for Elavil?). I don’t take antidepressants; I will have four dogs instead.

Today, we brought some puppy formula to help take the pressure off of the exhausted mother. Like infant formula, this one cost about $40 a can. In another week, they will be on some moistened puppy food, however. We bought them all collars so we can tell the girls apart. The one male puppy is obvious. We have three “big ones”, now nearly three pounds each, and three little ones, a little over two pounds. Doing the math, the combined weight of those six puppies are about half the weight of the mother already. Lexi is naturally eating us out of house and home, making up for the caloric loss.

We also bought some puppy chew toys today, hoping to take the heat off of our shoes – the traditional chew toys of young dogs. They are very curious about the toys and immediately sniffed them over. Their whelping box is really a plastic swimming pool, lined with a (washable) mattress cover. There are six little stuffed animals in there with them. When the remaining puppies go to their new homes, these well-worn and familiar-smelling stuffed animals will go with them for some transitional comfort.

I spent yesterday constructing an exercise pen for the yard. In about a week or so, they will make their first outside debut. I can’t leave them outside without supervision however, since we have some circling turkey vultures. The vultures have been hanging around since I got the chickens. I have no doubt that a turkey vulture can carry off a puppy. Not on my watch, however.

For the entire eight weeks that we will have all of the puppies, we have altered our work schedules. Puppy rearing is not unlike having a new baby in the house. They poop. They pee. They whine. They eat. They sleep. They play. They require adult (human) supervision.

Our cats, on the other hand, are as independent as animals can be. They come in at night to eat, but most of the day, they are doing cat things – eating lizards and moles, sleeping in some dark, cool place, and climbing trees.

My parrot, Dorian, laid an egg on the same day the puppies were born. As a matter of fact, she laid THREE eggs, infertile, of course. Today, the eggs went away. We allow her to sit on those eggs for about two or three weeks, but then they have to go. If we take the eggs away too soon, she will lay more. Birds do not eat very much when they are sitting on eggs. Dorian is in the room with the puppies, so she has been actively imitating the puppies little squeaks and whines. I am sure I will hear those sounds long after the puppies mature. Dorian also speaks cat, microwave oven, dryer signal, telephone, and English.

Clearly, we are animal people. We give up a lot of our independence due to our pets, but we get so much more in return. Much more.

Are you a pet lover? Visit our message board, "Pet Health: The Veterinarian Is In" to chat with others and ask questions about your dog or cat.

Related Topics:

• WebMD Video: Pets and Health - See Spot, Feel Happy
• 5 Ways Pets Can Improve Your Health
• Ear, Nose & Throat Message Board with Rod Moser, PA, PhD
• Living Better Newsletter - Wellness news to keep you healthy and strong!