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Mentoring: Jump-Starting a Life
My good friend, Robert, reminded me this weekend that "The greatest gift a man can give is to stoop down and help a child." For the last year, he has developed a relationship with a young man who lives in his neighborhood. Chad is 18 years old and will be graduating high school soon. In addition to having straight-A's for the last three years, he is also concurrently taking college classes.
Chad's drug-dependent parents are not in the picture, so he has been cared for by one of his former teachers who now has guardianship. This dynamic woman (and her mother) helped transform this endangered young man into the polite and humble scholar that he is today. Chad wants to go into the medical profession.
Robert e-mailed me a few months ago and asked me if I would be a resource for him. I quickly agreed. Robert is currently is under treatment for prostate cancer. Chad recently accompanied him on a nearly 50-mile bike ride that he wanted to do before starting before starting brachytherapy and external radiation.
Knowing that I was going to be speaking at a medical conference about an hour from his home, I invited Robert and Chad as my guests for the day. The night before, we had a wonderful Italian meal at Robert's home. I was also able to meet Chad's guardians - his "mother" and "grandmother"-the two women that have taking him under their wings.
Adolescents tend to fall in two major categories: the unmotivated group, and the academic over-achievers. Of course, there are many teens that sit on the fence between the two. Chad falls well into the second group. He was well-mannered and poised. He participated in conversations like an adult, unlike some of the teens I see in my practice that would happily text-message while pretending to listen. He wore a tie.
The next day, Robert brought Chad to the Palm Springs Convention Center. The organization provided him with a special guest pass and invitation to lunch. He attended several medical lectures, and was even allowed to cruise the exhibit floor. I introduced him to the president of the American Academy of Physician Assistants, and the author of a new book, Becoming a Physician Assistant, and acquired a signed a copy for him. Since it was about 110 degrees outside, he spent the entire day interacting with several hundred PAs.
I don't know if he will pursue the PA profession or not, but I thought we at least should try to recruit him before someone else gets him. You can teach medical skills to just about anyone, given enough time, but you cannot teach someone to be a kind and compassionate healer. Robert saw something special in this young man, and I agree. I know that he will make a wonderful clinician someday, whatever medical path he travels.
Every person who has achieved personal success has others who have paved the path before them and people that have held their hands. Some people like to think that they did it alone, but this is rarely the case. Chad has some true angels to watch over and guide him, and his journey has already started.
Is there someone out there that you can help? Can you show a little girl how to knit or make a dress? Or, teach a little boy how to fish? Can you teach a teenager how to change the oil in a car? Can you bring a young student to your office and allow them to shadow you for a day? Maybe you can help a struggling college student to pay rising tuition costs? What can you do to guide or jump-start someone else in need?
I am reading a book by one of my favorite authors, Paul Theroux, called Ghost Train to the Eastern Star. He tells of meeting an Alaskan fisherman vacationing in tropical Cambodia. The fisherman had met a young man, making a few dollars a day, operating a rented, motorcycle taxi. The man wanted to be an accountant, but since he had to rent his motorcycle, it would take him many, many years to save enough money to achieve this goal. After three days as his personal driver, the fisherman had him stop by a motorcycle dealership. The fisherman plopped down $8000 - just about all the money that he had - and bought this Cambodian stranger a motorcycle so he could earn a living and reach his goal sooner. He gave the taxi driver his e-mail and only asked that he write from time to time and let him know how things turned out.
My friend, George, has brain cancer. He and his wife allowed an immigrating Vietnamese family to live with them for nearly a year so they could get a jump-start. More recently, they paid the tuition for a Filipino woman, the sister of their daughter-in-law, so she could attend school. My friend, Randy, who now lives in Loreto, Mexico, along with other American ex-patriots, buys school uniforms and pays the Catholic school tuition for dozens of children in their little community. My own mentor, the late Dr. Robert Haskell, once wrote me a check so I could have a down payment for my first house.
It was my pleasure to be invited to help Chad - to participate in his jump-start at a career. I really didn't have to stoop down and help him. Chad was already standing tall.
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Chad's drug-dependent parents are not in the picture, so he has been cared for by one of his former teachers who now has guardianship. This dynamic woman (and her mother) helped transform this endangered young man into the polite and humble scholar that he is today. Chad wants to go into the medical profession.
Robert e-mailed me a few months ago and asked me if I would be a resource for him. I quickly agreed. Robert is currently is under treatment for prostate cancer. Chad recently accompanied him on a nearly 50-mile bike ride that he wanted to do before starting before starting brachytherapy and external radiation.
Knowing that I was going to be speaking at a medical conference about an hour from his home, I invited Robert and Chad as my guests for the day. The night before, we had a wonderful Italian meal at Robert's home. I was also able to meet Chad's guardians - his "mother" and "grandmother"-the two women that have taking him under their wings.
Adolescents tend to fall in two major categories: the unmotivated group, and the academic over-achievers. Of course, there are many teens that sit on the fence between the two. Chad falls well into the second group. He was well-mannered and poised. He participated in conversations like an adult, unlike some of the teens I see in my practice that would happily text-message while pretending to listen. He wore a tie.
The next day, Robert brought Chad to the Palm Springs Convention Center. The organization provided him with a special guest pass and invitation to lunch. He attended several medical lectures, and was even allowed to cruise the exhibit floor. I introduced him to the president of the American Academy of Physician Assistants, and the author of a new book, Becoming a Physician Assistant, and acquired a signed a copy for him. Since it was about 110 degrees outside, he spent the entire day interacting with several hundred PAs.
I don't know if he will pursue the PA profession or not, but I thought we at least should try to recruit him before someone else gets him. You can teach medical skills to just about anyone, given enough time, but you cannot teach someone to be a kind and compassionate healer. Robert saw something special in this young man, and I agree. I know that he will make a wonderful clinician someday, whatever medical path he travels.
Every person who has achieved personal success has others who have paved the path before them and people that have held their hands. Some people like to think that they did it alone, but this is rarely the case. Chad has some true angels to watch over and guide him, and his journey has already started.
Is there someone out there that you can help? Can you show a little girl how to knit or make a dress? Or, teach a little boy how to fish? Can you teach a teenager how to change the oil in a car? Can you bring a young student to your office and allow them to shadow you for a day? Maybe you can help a struggling college student to pay rising tuition costs? What can you do to guide or jump-start someone else in need?
I am reading a book by one of my favorite authors, Paul Theroux, called Ghost Train to the Eastern Star. He tells of meeting an Alaskan fisherman vacationing in tropical Cambodia. The fisherman had met a young man, making a few dollars a day, operating a rented, motorcycle taxi. The man wanted to be an accountant, but since he had to rent his motorcycle, it would take him many, many years to save enough money to achieve this goal. After three days as his personal driver, the fisherman had him stop by a motorcycle dealership. The fisherman plopped down $8000 - just about all the money that he had - and bought this Cambodian stranger a motorcycle so he could earn a living and reach his goal sooner. He gave the taxi driver his e-mail and only asked that he write from time to time and let him know how things turned out.
My friend, George, has brain cancer. He and his wife allowed an immigrating Vietnamese family to live with them for nearly a year so they could get a jump-start. More recently, they paid the tuition for a Filipino woman, the sister of their daughter-in-law, so she could attend school. My friend, Randy, who now lives in Loreto, Mexico, along with other American ex-patriots, buys school uniforms and pays the Catholic school tuition for dozens of children in their little community. My own mentor, the late Dr. Robert Haskell, once wrote me a check so I could have a down payment for my first house.
It was my pleasure to be invited to help Chad - to participate in his jump-start at a career. I really didn't have to stoop down and help him. Chad was already standing tall.
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- Ear, Nose & Throat Message Board with Rod Moser, PA, PhD
- Living Better Newsletter - Wellness news to keep you healthy and strong!
Labels: health and wellness, mentor
3 Comments:
Compassion is something I am seeing less of every day. Maybe its the fact that people perceive compassion with a strain on the wallet, I dont know. What I do know is that even the smallest gesture to brighten someones day can make worlds of change.
My old brother (26 at the time) was severely involved in Meth and other hard drugs 2 states away. My mother and step-dad, despite their struggling financial situation, inviting him into their home for a safe haven. 6 months after he moved in he declared himself drug free, and he is showing it physically and mentally. More weight, more color, no bags under the eyes, longer attention span and more motivation.
This simple gesture brought him from job-less to a General Manager of a Jimmy Johns (delivery sandwich shop), which is some peoples eyes may not seem like much, but for this family was a huge accomplishment. He, at 28 is now a father of a beautiful chubby strong 1 year old, and is more financially stable then ever.
Gives me hope even in todays economic struggle, anyone can save a life.
Also, Rod, Ive noticied dwindeling participation in the comments section of your blog, so as my small act of compassion, I will comment to every story. Not out of sympathy, but because I enjoy reading these very much and feel that providing you with a readers insight would make things a bit more fun for you. :)
Thank you so much, Bobby...I can't tell you how much that means to me. The ALL EARS BLOG has a very good readership, but many people do not take the time to comment. For the readers that do....like you...I am very grateful.
I absolutly loved this artictle. When we moved to a different state,our father took off to his birth country,leaving our mother to care for four sons. I was a senior and hooked on drugs.My three brothers,two found mentors and the other did well in school,one excelled in sports.Till my dad came back I really wasn't there for them.Needless to say I had an Emotional Breakdown.Now I am sober and clean over a span of ten years.Feels great.Family doesn't really see what my progress has been,they see what they choose to see. How I messed up ,my mistakes that I made .How I made to get where I am. I am so happy. That's why GOD is so important to me. So when my friend saw me strugling and he could help he did. He was a self made millionair. He helped me to get a Truck,New clothes and insperation to be a better person. I would like to get a product out.For now I am going to college and will still keep going.Only my youngest brother doesn't know.
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