Family Webicine

At the American Academy of Pediatrics national conference, there were at least two devices being marketed to reduce the momentary pain of routine injections, two new devices to aspirate mucous out of kid’s nose (No, it is not called the Snot-O-Matic), and, believe it or not, a fart whistle.

Painless Shot Devices

Just the word “shot” implies pain. This is why I call them “boosters” when talking to kids. At age four or even earlier, injections already have a deeply-ingrained reputation as being painful. I can see fear in the faces of little people coming to my office for kindergarten vaccines; usually about four are needed at that age. The parents aren’t happy about it either, especially the Dads who may have been tricked in accompanying the child for this visit by a crafty Mom. They are not usually worried about side-effects; just the pain.

I used to have a low-tech device called a shot-blocker that was really a little pad with spikes on one side. You would push the spikes into the skin, hoping that the brain will not notice one more little prick (the needle). It works and costs less than a buck.

The newer shot-pain blockers use vibration at the injection site to confuse the brain and distract the shot recipient with sensory overload. The first device that I tried was very Star Trek-looking with a futuristic shape and blue light called the Vibration Anesthesia Device. It worked well on my simulated needle stick, but due to its unusual shape, it cannot be used for the more-painful intravenous injections. It was also more expensive ($229).

I was familiar with the other vibrating device — The Buzzy. It looks like a lady bug and uses a cold pack as well as vibration to help reduce injection pain. The Buzzy kit also includes some cute laminated cards that require a child to count monkeys, for example, to add to the needle distraction. The Buzzy costs $35; considerably less expensive than that Vibration Anesthesia Device, but 35 times more than the shot-blocker pad.  I had my flu vaccine last year with the Buzzy and it was 100% painless.

Snot Suckers

All newborns and kids with colds/allergies have snotty noses. Because babies are primarily nose-breathers, they get quite upset when they can’t breathe. Many will refuse to nurse, choosing to breathe instead. All infants are discharged from the nursery with a bulb syringe so that the parents can suck out this mucous. The kids quickly learn to fear the bulb, since it can be uncomfortable when an over-zealous parent tries to suck out their sensitive, little nose.

One day, a parent was using a little battery-powered device to suck the mucous out of her baby’s nose. She bought it online and really liked it, but I forget to write down the name of it. It seemed to work fine and her baby did not seem to mind it.

At the conference, I found a new one called Cleanoz. (I love the name. Probably, Snot-O-Matic was already trademarked by info commercial guru and inventor, Ron Popeil). It should be showing up on your friendly, neighborhood pharmacy shelves soon. This $30 device worked fine on the demo baby doll with simulated snot, and I suspect it will work great on a real, snotty baby. I think this is going to be a winner.

There was also a low-tech snot sucker from Sweden called the NoseFrida.  According to their literature, it is the “#3 selling baby product on Amazon”.  Really?  The NoseFrida is a plastic test tube with a little rubber hose. Mom (and only a mother would do this) puts the open end of the test tube in the child’s snotty nose, and simply sucks it out like a straw. Yuck. There is a little sponge at the top of the tube that is supposed to filter out germs, but I really doubt this product claim, knowing the minute size of  cold viruses. Mothers, on the other hand, use spit to clean a kid’s face, so this may not be an issue to them.

The Fart Whistle

Kids can be unbelievably gassy and can loudly fart like a sailor at a bean-eating festival.  Trapped intestinal gas can be painful, so what is a parent to do if their kids are not naturally passing gas? The Windi is another product by the Swedish makers of NoseFrida. The little plastic device is inserted in the child’s rectum, thus bypassing the anal sphincter. Rectal gas is allowed to freely pass through and blows the whistle! Apparently, a whistle is a more socially-acceptable noise than a garden-variety fart. The smell, of course, will not change or improve. This device finally puts an end to those  “Silent, But Deadly” ones from baby that we all fear. Should the Windi get in the clever hands of school-aged boys, it wouldn’t be long before someone forms a bizarre marching band.

Who thinks up these things? There is probably a market out there for a battery-powered diaper-wiper (Poop-O-Matic?), zit squeezers (Actually, I think there is one of those; a vacuum device), hair combers, electric toenail clippers, nose hair trimmers (Oh, I have one of those), or perhaps, a rotary, finger-shaped nose-picker (Boog-O-Matic?).

There is technology, and there is useless technology. Unfortunately, love them both.