Crusade for Courtesy
Each of us can make a difference in this world but it's not always evident how we can do it. I've found one way I may make a small difference not only in my own life, but that of strangers.
One thing I was taught as a small child was to be courteous and, in fact, in school we had classes in etiquette. I can't, for the life of me, remember one thing I learned in those classes, but it must have been absorbed deep into the recesses of my mind where it has established its presence. I know it's there because I make it a point of saying "please" and "thank you" to people who I don't know and who I'll probably never see again. I still say "God bless you" when people sneeze, even though I don't know if they believe in God or not. It's just what you do and I do it.
I'm sure that my crusade for courtesy has been somewhat of a surprise to those who have become, unknowingly, involved in it. For instance, when someone holds an elevator door for me or asks which floor I'm going to and they punch the button for me, I make it a point to acknowledge this. I tell them that it's nice to meet people with good manners and who are courteous and how much I appreciate it because it seems to be missing in much of our lives. Compliments are something I like to receive and I'm sure they do, too. Sometimes, I tell them that their parents would be proud to know that they've raised a considerate adult who is making the world a little less stressful for people like me.
When someone lets me pull my car across a road in front of theirs and makes it possible for me to make that turn, I always wave and say "thank you." I find it not only something I want to do, it's something I think will rub off on that person and maybe their day will be a little nicer.
Not so long ago, it was a common courtesy of the road for an over-the-road trucker to flash their lights as a "thank you" when you let them come over into your lane. I enjoyed that, but I rarely see it anymore and I wonder what's happened.
So, I'm going to go ahead with my crusade and hope that it spreads and takes hold in other people's minds. We all need a little bit of common courtesy now and then and I'm going to make it more now than then. Want to join me? Post a comment and share your experiences!
Related Topics: A Handshake is Worth a Thousand Words, The Science of Good Deeds
Technorati Tags: community, manners, courtesy
One thing I was taught as a small child was to be courteous and, in fact, in school we had classes in etiquette. I can't, for the life of me, remember one thing I learned in those classes, but it must have been absorbed deep into the recesses of my mind where it has established its presence. I know it's there because I make it a point of saying "please" and "thank you" to people who I don't know and who I'll probably never see again. I still say "God bless you" when people sneeze, even though I don't know if they believe in God or not. It's just what you do and I do it.
I'm sure that my crusade for courtesy has been somewhat of a surprise to those who have become, unknowingly, involved in it. For instance, when someone holds an elevator door for me or asks which floor I'm going to and they punch the button for me, I make it a point to acknowledge this. I tell them that it's nice to meet people with good manners and who are courteous and how much I appreciate it because it seems to be missing in much of our lives. Compliments are something I like to receive and I'm sure they do, too. Sometimes, I tell them that their parents would be proud to know that they've raised a considerate adult who is making the world a little less stressful for people like me.
When someone lets me pull my car across a road in front of theirs and makes it possible for me to make that turn, I always wave and say "thank you." I find it not only something I want to do, it's something I think will rub off on that person and maybe their day will be a little nicer.
Not so long ago, it was a common courtesy of the road for an over-the-road trucker to flash their lights as a "thank you" when you let them come over into your lane. I enjoyed that, but I rarely see it anymore and I wonder what's happened.
So, I'm going to go ahead with my crusade and hope that it spreads and takes hold in other people's minds. We all need a little bit of common courtesy now and then and I'm going to make it more now than then. Want to join me? Post a comment and share your experiences!
Related Topics: A Handshake is Worth a Thousand Words, The Science of Good Deeds
Technorati Tags: community, manners, courtesy
12 Comments:
I have had an extreme amount of anxiety and stress and take a lot of anti-depression medication. Both of my parents committed suicide in '02, 15 days apart from each other. I left a very abusive marriage 7+ years ago. Previous Meth use I feel has also greatly affected my anxiety. I have been street drug-free since I left my husband. I really need to talk to Dr. Phil, but privately. I have been labled at a first appointment as "Seriously Disturbed". They don't know the half of it. Trying different medications has been a difficult task, I also have a lot of lower back and health problems that prevents me exercising, or walking to far for fear I won't make it back. The meds are Xanax, Abilify, Vistaril, Clonidine, paxil, Cymbalta, ultram, vicodin. So needless to say I am constantly tired from all this medication. I did however, try Welbutrin and was very close to suicide myself. I have talked to couselors and psychiatrist but is hard to see where the Depression starts and the pain begins and vice-versa. Please help! I do feel I need medication and won't fight the issue, but finding the right one for many years has been a real chore.
I'm sorry but this is a situation not meant for this blog. Please speak to a knowledgable MD and get an evaluation. I don't think a TV "quick fix" from anyone is what you need.
Dr Farrell;
I like how you take courteous to a higher level in your own show of courtesy. While a simple thank you is already courteous, you extend that with specific words about the courteous deed and why it is appreciated.
It reminds me of something I read about Dr. Norman Vincent Peale who was waiting a very long time to get into a restaurant. Others were waiting too and many of the others were very rude to the hostess because of the long wait that night. When it was Dr. Peale's turn to give his name to the hostess, he watched her write it and told her what beautiful handwriting she had and that it was so impressive to be able to maintain her beautiful handwriting in the stressful conditions that night. He said she visibly relaxed with his words. He also stopped a maintenance worker in a big office building and commended him on keeping the floor sparkling and shiny and how that important it is to everyone in the building because the sparkling floor is one of the first things a visitor sees upon entering the building.
Thanks for being a good example to us all! (Somewhere, some place, somebody taught you to be a good example, too, I'll bet!)
~Tasker
Thanks, Tasker. Yes, we were always taught at home and in school to be courteous and I know I appreciate it when it's directed to me.
I like what you've written about Rev. Peale. I think he had a tremendous impact on many people's lives and his work lives on now that he's gone.
I too find it refreshing when people hold the door open for me and I will always say thank you. What I don't understand is women who are insulted when men hold the door open for them or do some other courteous act. When someone does something nice, the gracious thing to do is accept with a sincere thank you. I have also taught my children to say please and thank you. I try to do my part to make others smile.
Dr. Farrell,
I could not agree with you more regarding your philosophy to more openly compliment and offer added courtesy to others in public. Your philosophy might just be the next phase to the golden rule. While yes, many enjoy compliments and courtesy, quite a few people, at least in the town I live in, aren't caught on a daily basis giving compliments to strangers let alone in public. I like how you stated to join you in the movement to do so. Almost like a new focus to interpersonal communication on an outward basis for the beginner, and a New years resolution for the out of ideas Christian :o) So thank you for your idea. And most certainly, what also seems to be and unselfished based quick fix to anyone that might have social anxiety.
Kathryn
St. Charles,MO
I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one had a problem with chivalry being dead. I went to private school and courtesy was drilled into us. I didn't learn it from home and I am the only person except for my grandmother who automatically says thank you, bless you, good morning or at least a nod of the head and a smile with eye contact, please, etc. In 3rd grade everytime an adult walked into the classroom the entire class had to stand and say "Good Morning Sister Perpetua" and when she left we automatically stood, unless we received the signal to remain seated, "Good Bye Sister Perpetua". This was done for every adult. In 5th grade we had one period of Spanish and we had to say it in Spanish, from day 1 of school. The boys held open the doors and pushed in our chairs at lunch. You didn't yell across a room or interrupt somebody while they were talking. To this day I practice all of this including put my hand up and nodding with a smile when someone lets me cross in traffic. To this day I will not give a man the time of day unless he shows he is a gentlemen first. I notice manners before I notice looks. And I'm not the only one, most women I know say the same thing. Fellas, drop the corny lines and cool walk and hold open the door or ask can I carry that for you. You will get a mature woman's attention much faster.
Nice words of wisdom. For some reason, probably just as you had in engrained since childhood, I've always hung out and spoke with the support staff, whether it's in a restaurant, hotel, or other place. Maybe it's because I'm in support as well (admin), which has always been considered an under-appreciated field of endeavor (except at my current employer).
I know Anita's was a special case, but on a positive note, discontinuing all of the medication, and starting an exercise regimen has shown remarkable results in alleviating anxiety and depression. But you're right in that such acute cases need professional assistance. Thankzzz
I have anxiety and panic disorder, bi-polar (bad), and thyroid disease. I was taught manners as a child at home and in grade school. It stuck with me. If someone is not polite or even such as a doctor lacking a good bedside manner, my feelings get hurt so easily. It triggers my moods and anxieties. Only if everyone could have good manners..... P.S. My nickname is Gi-Gi. I was named that as a child and still called that by family. It stands for good girl. My real name is Sheila. Thank you for your story......
P.S. Re: manners/ anxieties......
Give a smile... Get a smile
Give a frown... Get a frown
(I just had to add that to my previous comments)
I work in a hospital (admitting in the ER) and I see this all the time. People have no idea how it brightens our day when they just say thank you and mean it. When they're polite to the staff. It really is very simple to keep us happy (and really, why do people think it will help them to be rude to hospital staff). We had a gentleman from England in a while ago and it just made my day because he was so very polite, and so well mannered. And that's really all it takes, simple things like that, your visit really will go smoother.
in regards to OTR(over the road aka drives all 48 states) truck drivers flashing their lights to say thank you,I am a OTR driver, I still flash my lights for the most part, however, there are many states where this act is ileagal & a ticket can be involved. Not to mention that many of todays drivers are young, inexperianced & are fresh out of CDL warehouses. Please keep in mind that if you cannot see the truck driver's face in that big side mirror of his, that means he cannot see you. And that big space we leave in front of our tuck is not intended for a car to jump into. That space is there so we have time to slow or stop that 72,000 lbs. from running or sliding into the back ends of cars in front or on the sides of us.
Post a Comment