Self-esteem and relationships
What can detract from your relationship and actually work against it? According to an article in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (90, 4) it's your self-esteem. Low self-esteem had a negative impact on people's judgment vis-à-vis their relationships. So self-esteem, according to the researchers, caused people to see their relationship in either a good or bad light. They also report more change in their view of their partners while the high self-esteem individuals are able to take the good with the bad and create a whole, more realistic, picture of their relationship.
Interesting, the view of those with low self-esteem also carried over this limited ability to evaluate into their judgments of other things in their lives. Therefore, it wasn't just people who were subjected to these inaccurate perceptions. Their whole lives seem to be painted in this either/or fashion.
The researchers didn't go into why this happens, but suggested that it is a way of offering more comprehensive help to those with low self-esteem.
Related Topics: Who's Number 1 in Self-Esteem?, Surprising Spin on Women's Self-Esteem
Technorati Tags: self-esteem, relationships, emotional health
Interesting, the view of those with low self-esteem also carried over this limited ability to evaluate into their judgments of other things in their lives. Therefore, it wasn't just people who were subjected to these inaccurate perceptions. Their whole lives seem to be painted in this either/or fashion.
The researchers didn't go into why this happens, but suggested that it is a way of offering more comprehensive help to those with low self-esteem.
Related Topics: Who's Number 1 in Self-Esteem?, Surprising Spin on Women's Self-Esteem
Technorati Tags: self-esteem, relationships, emotional health
6 Comments:
Please provide the citation for this info. Thanx.
Unfortunately, I don't have the article here, but it is in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2006, April issue. The table of contents is not yet available on-line and this item came from a press release which wasn't saved.
Self-esteem is a complicated issue. In my case it was the home situation. Key phrases would be "feeling out of control", "not much nuturing", "feeling invisible", being compared to a sibling. But, lately, I have had to take into account that I was a difficult child and my mother gave up. So facing the whole situation honestly has been difficult, but good. I know the things I have to work on (that annoy other people) and realize that there are people who have stuck with me and care about me. And very important: mobve away from being self-centered to other person-centered. Doing nice things for other people. It doesn't have to be big: a call to a sick person or a card. Just taking the extra step. Make a list of the good things you can do; I believe this will have a positive effect on improving one's self-esteem.
I married someone alot like my father unfortunately, but marriage counseling helped both of us understand ow to deal with that and change some things
There has been much talk and conjecture about 'self esteem' in general in the past few years. Personally, after having done much research in the field of psychology as well as personal growth, self-esteem seems to be over used in many contexts. Another term that should be considered is personal accountability for one's choices, actions and; there comes a time in everyone's life where they must stop blaming their parent's, family's or significant others for their "low self-esteem". If you are aware of negative influences in your life that are affecting relationships and other areas of your life, it is your sole responsibility to act and do something positive to change it. Denial doesn't do anyone any good.
Actually, there's some interesting new research that indicates that a level of self-esteem that's quite high has a negative effect on people around us. Of course, we might wonder if these people shouldn't be classified as being somewhat narcissistic. I don't think they used a scale to determine this.
A heathy level of self-esteem is still the best for all involved. Early childhood learning can be a big determinant, but it doesn't have to rule our lives as several of you have pointed out.
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