Social Anxiety and the Holidays
Anyone who has any degree of social anxiety knows that the holidays aren't always something to look forward to because of all the socializing that goes on. There are the family and friends' dinners, the lunches, the little get-togethers with former classmates and neighbors and the biggie, the office holiday party. How is anyone going to make it through this time and still have fun?
What's your worst fear about these gatherings? Will someone say something awful to you or about you or will you be asked a question you can't answer? Sure, that's going to happen. The world is full of people who ask inappropriate questions, are far too nosey and who haven't been put in their place for their bad manners, forget about the holiday punch. It will happen. Accept that and we can go on to how you're going to make this year a special time for YOU.
I am a firm believer in traditions, but I also believe that you can start traditions rather than just following the ones that have been handed down to you or us. This is going to be your new tradition and it's going to be something that will make you proud of yourself. Yes, an appropriate bow or curtsey can be taken right about now.
First, think of all the terrible things that people might say to you. Sit in front of a mirror and say them. Now, look yourself right in the eye and answer the question or comment. How? The one thing that is holding you back here is your sense of not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings? Right? No? Then you don't feel up to answering? That's okay, too. Just say something that will please YOU.
For instance, someone says, "You know you've gained weight." Your comment: "Yes, it happens to all of us, doesn't it? I think you can understand." Or, "Even Oprah gains weight now and then, so I don't feel bad about it. It's life." Then go on to talk about something that interests you.
You don't have to stick with a topic just because someone started it. Turn it around. You can do it.
Now, practice looking over your shoulder in the mirror and saying, "Oh, excuse me, there's someone over there I have to see."
This is your curtain line, my friend and you can use it as often as you want. Find someone in the crowd that you'd like to talk to and walk right over. Now, put your hand out and with a smile introduce yourself. How can you possibly talk to someone you don't know? Comment on their dress, suit, the fact that you noticed they have an uncanny resemblance to an old classmate (okay, so this may be a bit of a white lie). Ask open-ended questions and you're on your way.
Enjoy the holidays and use them wisely.
Related Topics: WebMD Video: Chronic Illness and the Holidays, Emotional Survival Guide for the Holidays
Technorati Tags: social anxiety, holiday anxiety, anxiety, stress
What's your worst fear about these gatherings? Will someone say something awful to you or about you or will you be asked a question you can't answer? Sure, that's going to happen. The world is full of people who ask inappropriate questions, are far too nosey and who haven't been put in their place for their bad manners, forget about the holiday punch. It will happen. Accept that and we can go on to how you're going to make this year a special time for YOU.
I am a firm believer in traditions, but I also believe that you can start traditions rather than just following the ones that have been handed down to you or us. This is going to be your new tradition and it's going to be something that will make you proud of yourself. Yes, an appropriate bow or curtsey can be taken right about now.
First, think of all the terrible things that people might say to you. Sit in front of a mirror and say them. Now, look yourself right in the eye and answer the question or comment. How? The one thing that is holding you back here is your sense of not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings? Right? No? Then you don't feel up to answering? That's okay, too. Just say something that will please YOU.
For instance, someone says, "You know you've gained weight." Your comment: "Yes, it happens to all of us, doesn't it? I think you can understand." Or, "Even Oprah gains weight now and then, so I don't feel bad about it. It's life." Then go on to talk about something that interests you.
You don't have to stick with a topic just because someone started it. Turn it around. You can do it.
Now, practice looking over your shoulder in the mirror and saying, "Oh, excuse me, there's someone over there I have to see."
This is your curtain line, my friend and you can use it as often as you want. Find someone in the crowd that you'd like to talk to and walk right over. Now, put your hand out and with a smile introduce yourself. How can you possibly talk to someone you don't know? Comment on their dress, suit, the fact that you noticed they have an uncanny resemblance to an old classmate (okay, so this may be a bit of a white lie). Ask open-ended questions and you're on your way.
Enjoy the holidays and use them wisely.
Related Topics: WebMD Video: Chronic Illness and the Holidays, Emotional Survival Guide for the Holidays
Technorati Tags: social anxiety, holiday anxiety, anxiety, stress
21 Comments:
a while a go i used salvia a legal halucinagin that made everything spin this feeling comes back when i am out with my friends and i am wondering if this is serious. When it happens i get short of breath like panic attacks but it feels like what i am living since i used salvia is all fake and that night i used it I passed out and everything now is fake i know this sounds wierd i am curious if you have any ideas for me.
Stress, the big killer of our 20th century.
Good article
I am diagnosed with social anxiety and
have had some paranoia/dilusions. I am on a low dose of Risperdal .75 MG
and Zoloft 150 MG.
I am worried that my forehead is getting bigger and around my eyes have
darkened. This is the reason I feel everyone is staring at me. Would these medications cause my forehead to
grow? If not, what may be the cause?
Thanks!
my 9 yr. old son suffers from generalized anxiety, his dad is bi-polar. I am at wits end due to his fears of everything, fighting in school because he 'thinks' people are talking about him, his exessive energy, and making noises all the time. Also, he does not sleep well. I did take him to a behavioral therapist last year and still us the tecniques. What do I do??
To the mom with the 9-yr-old son with GAD, we encourage you to post your questions to Dr. Farrell on her Anxiety and Panic Disorders message board here at WebMD. :-)
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Social anxiety and the Holidays is a recurring theme that comes every year as the Holidays approach. Luckily we have good articles such as yours in helping us deal with the stress involved.
I don't know where my particular question re: Seroquel is addressed. With regard to weight gain while on Seroquel: I have been on 100 mg daily, for sleep and have gained approximately 12 pounds so for over the course of 2 months. I know that weight gain is a side effect and while I needed to gain the weight, I would liek to know if it will plateau or will it continue? I am natrually quite thin and petite and am "feeling" the weight and fear I will continue to gain more to qwickkly. My food intake really hasn't increased, although since I've been on this med I have returned to my noraml eating habits. I am now practicing portion control, something very new for me as I used to be able to eat all day and not gain weight ever. Now it seems the weight is coming on much easier and I really don't want to gain more weight. I actually feel heavy, ya know? Like I am carrying more weight then I am used to. I don't think I would like to stop the med as it really helps me in many ways. So...can I expect this weight gain to continue, or will I plateau? I also experience constipaiton which I have managed to control now with the use of The Dual Action Cleanse product, which works quite well.
I can't speak for everyone with social anxiety, but I personally am not nervous about things like "will someone ask me a question I can't answer?" What I (and I think most people!) are anxious about are awkward situations: you walk into the room; who do you talk to? What if you don't know anyone? How do you get out of an awkward conversation? What if you run out of things to say? And lots of insecurity: Will people think you're dressed strange? Will they think it's strange if you're not talking to anyone?
I know myself that the holidays are especially hard for me, I have major anxiety. What are they going to say to me. I also take medication and have gained weight. I have always isolated myself during the holidays or for that matter any social gathering. This Year will be the challenge for me. Thats to this article maybe it will be different and all that had their comments. Good luck
I just don't want to be around people besides close friends and family any more than necessary. People exhaust me and I don't like noise. Yes, the holidays are tough... but they can be fun. I am learning to say "no". That's not easy either.
please tell more exercise aboout anxiety removal
For 2 years while I was on seroquel I put on heaps of weight too. With my doctor I reduced and stopped it and I lost the 17kg I'd put on. My eating style hasn't changed much now I eat what I like and don't pile on the kgs. Other medications don't have that effect, so it pays to ask your doctor about something else when you'r not happy. Good Luck with the holidays
Dr. Farrell, a superb medical correlation/study between panic attack onset ,untreated panic attacks(without medication IE,Buspar)overtime manifesting/morphing into terrifying,full blown agoraphobic attacks.(BUT WHY?) Albeit in large part brought on by the(unknown)lurking, preonset complications/imbalances of undiagnosed type 2 diabetes morphing in the background.With both of these serious medical conditions working against you concurrently it's just a matter of time before you will succomb to Type 2 diabetes.Also,many of the issues (high blood pressure,colesterol,being over weight as mentioned in the article will trigger the insulin resistant response. So after your doctor checks your(panic) heart and tells you "your not having a heart attack or going crazy" be sure to request a more comprehensive medical blood profile exam including;15 hour, fasting colesterol check HDL,LDL Triglycerides,fasting blood glucose test(s) takes 2 to confirm Type 2 diabetes and a H1ac blood test,which measures/profiles your blood glucose(sugar) levels up to six months.If your preonset or onset type 2 diabetes remains undiagnosed/untreated the panic/agoraphobic attcks will continue to plague your ability to function on a day to day basis.Thus, the panic attacks seem to be caused by the diabetic imbalances.Then get both conditions under control and go back to enjoying life.I know first hand as I have both conditions discussed above,and are both successfully under control.P.S. Work closly with your health care team and show them that you care and care about them too!
To the person taking Risperdol and Zoloft. I'd get off those drugs immediately and find other means for treating your anxiety. Exercise and diet would be the 2 biggest factors I'd look at first. Prescription and over the counter drugs will do no good, they only do harm. There's not a single drug out there that doesn't hurt your body, and chances are, those drugs aren't even helping your anxiety issue.
I am a 68 year old woman who takes 100 mg Zoloft. My friends say it isn't working.....that I am grouchy and gripey all of the time. Should I ask my Dr. to increase the zoloft to 150 mg? I don't have panic attacks...I guess major anger that I have not resolved from a break-up of my marriage. I guess I am depressed and I was counting on Zoloft to get me well. Any suggesions?
Thanks.....
Back to the Salvia...I had a friend tell me that he tried it last weekend and liked it. Can it bring him recurring troubles? What do you mean 'fake' feel to life thereafter?...
Again to the person who 1st spoke of Salvia. I had a bad 'acid' trip in Dec '99 and know EXACTLY what you mean by fake. That this is an illusion that we are hanging on to because we are scared of "the truth" (whatever it is). I wish I could somehow talk to you, and you me. I think we could learn a lot and grow from one another. I created an email account, please email me. panicdisorderly@gmail.com
i've never heard of salvia. how does it work ? how do you use it. ?
Salvia is a legal herb in all but about 5 states right now. Google and read some more about it. It is meant to be used as a meditation aid.
You need only take one hit and hold it for a few seconds, if you are smoking an extract version. But again you can read about the details online.
Salvia is a strong hallucinogen and should be used in a quiet room with a sitter present to watch you.
Most users will experience a "trip" which will vary greatly depending on the strength of the extract you have inhaled.
Salvia has and is being attacked by most state legislatures. I am a supporter of keeping Salvia legalized.
As for the person who first said Salvia seems to have left him/her with permanent social anxiety, I simply do not believe this. There are no proven side effects to the herb and the strong effects that it does cause last a very short time, usually 5-10 minutes with the entire experience over within 45 minutes.
To anonymous, i am by no means a doctor, but from personal usage and research conducted by pros, you shouldn't have too much to worry about. I myself had moments of a sureal, fake feeling almost 3 weeks after my first usage. Further, studies have shown that salvia has almost no long term affects, and the fake feeling of the world is more of a psychological side effect rather than a chemical one. I would suggest seeing a doctor about the spinning feeling, as neither i nor my friends have had that side effect after using salvia.
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