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Social Anxiety and the Holidays
Anyone who has any degree of social anxiety knows that the holidays aren't always something to look forward to because of all the socializing that goes on. There are the family and friends' dinners, the lunches, the little get-togethers with former classmates and neighbors and the biggie, the office holiday party. How is anyone going to make it through this time and still have fun?
What's your worst fear about these gatherings? Will someone say something awful to you or about you or will you be asked a question you can't answer? Sure, that's going to happen. The world is full of people who ask inappropriate questions, are far too nosey and who haven't been put in their place for their bad manners, forget about the holiday punch. It will happen. Accept that and we can go on to how you're going to make this year a special time for YOU.
I am a firm believer in traditions, but I also believe that you can start traditions rather than just following the ones that have been handed down to you or us. This is going to be your new tradition and it's going to be something that will make you proud of yourself. Yes, an appropriate bow or curtsey can be taken right about now.
First, think of all the terrible things that people might say to you. Sit in front of a mirror and say them. Now, look yourself right in the eye and answer the question or comment. How? The one thing that is holding you back here is your sense of not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings? Right? No? Then you don't feel up to answering? That's okay, too. Just say something that will please YOU.
For instance, someone says, "You know you've gained weight." Your comment: "Yes, it happens to all of us, doesn't it? I think you can understand." Or, "Even Oprah gains weight now and then, so I don't feel bad about it. It's life." Then go on to talk about something that interests you.
You don't have to stick with a topic just because someone started it. Turn it around. You can do it.
Now, practice looking over your shoulder in the mirror and saying, "Oh, excuse me, there's someone over there I have to see."
This is your curtain line, my friend and you can use it as often as you want. Find someone in the crowd that you'd like to talk to and walk right over. Now, put your hand out and with a smile introduce yourself. How can you possibly talk to someone you don't know? Comment on their dress, suit, the fact that you noticed they have an uncanny resemblance to an old classmate (okay, so this may be a bit of a white lie). Ask open-ended questions and you're on your way.
Enjoy the holidays and use them wisely.
Related Topics: WebMD Video: Chronic Illness and the Holidays, Emotional Survival Guide for the Holidays
Technorati Tags: social anxiety, holiday anxiety, anxiety, stress
What's your worst fear about these gatherings? Will someone say something awful to you or about you or will you be asked a question you can't answer? Sure, that's going to happen. The world is full of people who ask inappropriate questions, are far too nosey and who haven't been put in their place for their bad manners, forget about the holiday punch. It will happen. Accept that and we can go on to how you're going to make this year a special time for YOU.
I am a firm believer in traditions, but I also believe that you can start traditions rather than just following the ones that have been handed down to you or us. This is going to be your new tradition and it's going to be something that will make you proud of yourself. Yes, an appropriate bow or curtsey can be taken right about now.
First, think of all the terrible things that people might say to you. Sit in front of a mirror and say them. Now, look yourself right in the eye and answer the question or comment. How? The one thing that is holding you back here is your sense of not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings? Right? No? Then you don't feel up to answering? That's okay, too. Just say something that will please YOU.
For instance, someone says, "You know you've gained weight." Your comment: "Yes, it happens to all of us, doesn't it? I think you can understand." Or, "Even Oprah gains weight now and then, so I don't feel bad about it. It's life." Then go on to talk about something that interests you.
You don't have to stick with a topic just because someone started it. Turn it around. You can do it.
Now, practice looking over your shoulder in the mirror and saying, "Oh, excuse me, there's someone over there I have to see."
This is your curtain line, my friend and you can use it as often as you want. Find someone in the crowd that you'd like to talk to and walk right over. Now, put your hand out and with a smile introduce yourself. How can you possibly talk to someone you don't know? Comment on their dress, suit, the fact that you noticed they have an uncanny resemblance to an old classmate (okay, so this may be a bit of a white lie). Ask open-ended questions and you're on your way.
Enjoy the holidays and use them wisely.
Related Topics: WebMD Video: Chronic Illness and the Holidays, Emotional Survival Guide for the Holidays
Technorati Tags: social anxiety, holiday anxiety, anxiety, stress
