A Boy Named Ben and Another Named Shawn
I appeared on CNN's "Anderson Cooper 360" last night and the topic touches all of us--abducted children.
Two boys, one a teen and the other several years younger, were abducted by someone who everyone thought was a quiet, responsible employee who worked two jobs. There was no reason to believe anything about him. He kept to himself, worked at the same job for 25 years and never had a problem outside of a traffic ticket. The one mistake he made in this bizarre case was that he took a sick day on the day Ben Ownby went missing. Of course, there was also the fact that two police officers found his behavior odd when they spoke to him on an unrelated matter. The rest is history.
Looking for one boy, the authorities found two and the first boy, Shawn Hornbeck, had been missing for four years. Everyone asked themselves how this could have happened. How could a boy be missing in plain sight of the community?
Some people are speculating that it's an example of Stockholm Syndrome, but that's trying to fit this neatly into a simple answer. In the first place, the people in the Syndrome case were adult bank customers held for several days in the bank and, in the second, it just doesn't happen that victims of kidnapping identify with their captors. A study of 1200 kidnapped persons by the FBI found that 92% did not exhibit the features of the Syndrome. Experts, in fact, find it to be a rare, rather than a common phenomena.
Now that the boys are safe, there is much to be mended in their lives as they are woven into the fabric of their lives, lives that have a rent in them. The process will take time and one thing I, as a psychologist, do not want the media exploring is what these kids went through during the captivity. This is a highly personal matter and not one for public discussion or knowledge. It's going to be difficult enough for them in their families, their communities and at school.
The one question that many may be asking is why this man, with one boy sitting in his apartment, would abduct another. For some individuals like this man, it has to do with preference for children between a particular age range and the older boy may have "aged out" for him. I've seen it in families where incest was prevalent. When the abused child reached 15, the age of puberty, the abuser selected a younger child to take this child place. During the year or two prior to reaching 15, the child would be told that the only way to protect their younger sibling was to comply with the wishes of the abuser.
Why did this boy stay? Probably for the same reason abused women say in abusive relationships--they lose their will to escape or they fear that they will be killed. I can only think it was similar for this young man.
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Technorati Tags: Ben Ownby, Shawn Hornbeck, child abduction, news, Stockholm Syndrome
Two boys, one a teen and the other several years younger, were abducted by someone who everyone thought was a quiet, responsible employee who worked two jobs. There was no reason to believe anything about him. He kept to himself, worked at the same job for 25 years and never had a problem outside of a traffic ticket. The one mistake he made in this bizarre case was that he took a sick day on the day Ben Ownby went missing. Of course, there was also the fact that two police officers found his behavior odd when they spoke to him on an unrelated matter. The rest is history.
Looking for one boy, the authorities found two and the first boy, Shawn Hornbeck, had been missing for four years. Everyone asked themselves how this could have happened. How could a boy be missing in plain sight of the community?
Some people are speculating that it's an example of Stockholm Syndrome, but that's trying to fit this neatly into a simple answer. In the first place, the people in the Syndrome case were adult bank customers held for several days in the bank and, in the second, it just doesn't happen that victims of kidnapping identify with their captors. A study of 1200 kidnapped persons by the FBI found that 92% did not exhibit the features of the Syndrome. Experts, in fact, find it to be a rare, rather than a common phenomena.
Now that the boys are safe, there is much to be mended in their lives as they are woven into the fabric of their lives, lives that have a rent in them. The process will take time and one thing I, as a psychologist, do not want the media exploring is what these kids went through during the captivity. This is a highly personal matter and not one for public discussion or knowledge. It's going to be difficult enough for them in their families, their communities and at school.
The one question that many may be asking is why this man, with one boy sitting in his apartment, would abduct another. For some individuals like this man, it has to do with preference for children between a particular age range and the older boy may have "aged out" for him. I've seen it in families where incest was prevalent. When the abused child reached 15, the age of puberty, the abuser selected a younger child to take this child place. During the year or two prior to reaching 15, the child would be told that the only way to protect their younger sibling was to comply with the wishes of the abuser.
Why did this boy stay? Probably for the same reason abused women say in abusive relationships--they lose their will to escape or they fear that they will be killed. I can only think it was similar for this young man.
Related Topics:
Technorati Tags: Ben Ownby, Shawn Hornbeck, child abduction, news, Stockholm Syndrome
15 Comments:
what makes me feel uncomfortable is that everyone wants this boy to speak out on national TV. Its none of our business! And I think it makes it worse when we all pressure the family to talk.
this is such a sad and scary story to me. Thank you Dr. Farrell for writing about this.
I just wish folks would let this family get to healing. It's like he's being victimized all over again.
I was really disappointed in Oprah's interview of this boy and his family. Given her past, she should have been wiser about it instead of aiming for the ratings pitch.
I can understand the parents wanting to share their joy, but what they don't seem to realize is that Shawn hasn't even begun to process the past 4 years.
I thought your Anderson Cooper appearance was great. Thanks for being so forceful in speaking for those boys.
What might be complicated is the feeling of the teenage boy himself...maybe there were some days over those years that *weren't* terrible and he'll feel guilty over that. Plus, now he'll to testify against a man who was his guardian, so to speak, and that's sure to be fraught with difficulties as well.
I AGREE EVERYONE SHOULD JUST LET THAT FAMILY HAVE SOME PEACE AND NO ONE KNOW WHAT THOSE 2 BOYS WENT THROUGH. IT'S ALL ABOUT TV RATINGS. MAY GOD BLESS THOSE TWO FAMILYS.
The public does not need to know the private details. I feel we can think of the worst case scenerio and never understand the pain and hell this man placed upon these boys. I believe these two families are very brave and without letting all facts be known, are trying to educate others.
Here are a lot of words that say little more than mind your own business. Well, it is our business. That's why there are laws concerning abduction. It is the business of all of us. Since we don't know what has happened to him/them, we can't tell how difficult it is for him to process it. After all, in fact, he's been processing it for 4 years. I expect he already has some conclusions dispite his tender years. And there is the accused. Without the detail, how can we prosecute. If close proximity to a missing child is all it takes for a conviction what about the staff of the many run-away centers. How are they different? We need to know. What if this young man's parents were abusing him and he was, in fact, more comfortable and safer with his "abductor"? Admittedly, the second abduction is more troublesome but without a full investigation and without knowing all the facts, we, as a society, cannot take the appropriate action to protect our young going forward.
I have to disagree about this being OUR (the publics) business. This is a child. The laws are designed to protect them not only from this monster but from exploitation by the media. We do not need to know anything other then "how can we help the child in the healing process". Does the law needs to know? Yes, so they can take this person off the streets forever. The therapist needs to know so the healing and understanding can take place. What we should what to know is how we can identify the abnormal actions of a child that might tell us that something is wrong. We need to look at those actions that are not normal, is the child going to school? Is this child acting out, why? What we need to know is how can we help protect our children, the neighbors children and your children from this kind of atrocity.
I was very disappointed to hear that Shawn Hornbeck's parents allowed their son to be exploited on the Oprah Winfrey show. His step-father and mother should have recognized that an ordeal like Shawn's is difficult for anyone, much less an adolescent. After being gone for 4.5 years, the family should have only concentrated on getting reacquainted and beginning the healing process. Their son should not have been allowed to talk to ANYONE other than law enforcement, a trusted pastor, and a child psychologist.
My heart and prayers go out to both boys. I pray that God will give their parents the wisdom and strength they need to help their son's heal from their ordeal.
Everyone needs to realize this child will be starting his life all over again. There are some children that are cruel. So, if things are out in the open for the public to hear, think about what this child will go through for the rest of his child hood years. I really don't believe the parents should have agreed to go on the Oprah show, that was way too soon to be open to the world. I would definetly be questioning the parent (his parents)and child relationship they have.
WHAT I TRULY DON'T UNDERSTAND IN OUR SOCIETY IS WHY PEOPLE WANT TO HEAR ABOUT HIS TORMENT. IT DOESNT HELP US OR ANYONE ELSE THAT MIGHT LEARN TO DO THIS SORT OF THING TO OTHERS AND GET AWAY WITH THIS CRIME BECAUSE THEY FIGURED OUT WHERE THE ABDUCTOR WENT WRONG. I OFTEN WONDER IF IT WAS SEMI BETTER BACK IN THE OLD DAYS WHEN SOME THINGS WERE NOT SHARED WITH THE WHOLE WORLD. I GUESS I'M OLD SCHOOL BUT NO WAY WOULD I SUBMIT MY CHILD TO A SELL OUT ON A PROGRAM ON TV FOR A FEW BUCKS.
The authorities need to know what kind of abuse these children suffered to aid in prosecution of that animal... but the public does not.
I agree..shame on Oprah when she too suffered abuse in her childhood.
She if anyone should realize the shame that is felt.
We can all imagine what happened to the boys,, the man is a pedophile and he abducted the boys for one reason, to molest them.
But I do not think these children or their parents owe it to the public to tell what happened to them.
They aren't celebrities who chose to be in the public eye,they suffered a tragedy that threw them in the public eye.
Leave them alone and let them begin the healing process.
People like Oprah are just in it for the money. They don't even care. As far as I'm concerned, she's on my no-no watch list and up there with Jerry Springer.
People like Oprah are just in it for the money. They don't even care. As far as I'm concerned, she's on my no-no watch list and up there with Jerry Springer.
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