Men, Suicide and Depression
The recent suicide of comedian Richard Jeni (49), who his family has stated suffered with depression, should be a warning about the seriousness of suicide and depression in men. We are often told that women suffer more depression than men, but that may not be the entire case.
Statistics show that men over the age of 65 kill themselves at triple the rate for younger men and they are eight times more likely than women in the same group to commit suicide. Jeni wasn't in that age group and that leads to increased concern about younger men and their severe, untreated depression which leads them to think this is the only way out of their pain.
Brad Delp, the lead singer of the band, Boston, who was 55, committed suicide recently, too. In notes left for his fiancee, family and friends, he indicated he had lost the will to live. What happened to make him feel that way? No one will ever know.
Two of the most famous suicide cases were those of Kurt Cobain, a rock star musician, who at the age of 27 killed himself and Ernest Hemingway who committed suicide at age 61. For Hemingway, depression ran in his family and both his father and one granddaughter committed suicide.
The question for men may not be so much suicide, but depression and the inability to deal with it. Depression has often been seen as a form of "weakness" and male tradition holds that "real men" don't eat quiche or see mental health professionals. Instead, they engage in physical activities, use alcohol and drugs or a lifestyle that is near to suicidal in its excesses.
The National Institute of Health has an important, free publication on depression that can be downloaded from their website and additional information, aimed specifically at men is also available.
The risk of suicide can be great when depression goes without treatment. Seeking treatment is one of the surest signs of strength in the face of an awful enemy.
Related Topics:
Technorati Tags: men's health, depression, suicide, mental health, Richard Jeni, Kurt Cobain, Brad Delp
Statistics show that men over the age of 65 kill themselves at triple the rate for younger men and they are eight times more likely than women in the same group to commit suicide. Jeni wasn't in that age group and that leads to increased concern about younger men and their severe, untreated depression which leads them to think this is the only way out of their pain.
Brad Delp, the lead singer of the band, Boston, who was 55, committed suicide recently, too. In notes left for his fiancee, family and friends, he indicated he had lost the will to live. What happened to make him feel that way? No one will ever know.
Two of the most famous suicide cases were those of Kurt Cobain, a rock star musician, who at the age of 27 killed himself and Ernest Hemingway who committed suicide at age 61. For Hemingway, depression ran in his family and both his father and one granddaughter committed suicide.
The question for men may not be so much suicide, but depression and the inability to deal with it. Depression has often been seen as a form of "weakness" and male tradition holds that "real men" don't eat quiche or see mental health professionals. Instead, they engage in physical activities, use alcohol and drugs or a lifestyle that is near to suicidal in its excesses.
The National Institute of Health has an important, free publication on depression that can be downloaded from their website and additional information, aimed specifically at men is also available.
The risk of suicide can be great when depression goes without treatment. Seeking treatment is one of the surest signs of strength in the face of an awful enemy.
Related Topics:
Technorati Tags: men's health, depression, suicide, mental health, Richard Jeni, Kurt Cobain, Brad Delp
Labels: depression
16 Comments:
I'm a woman who deals with depression but I feel women are more supported and understood when it comes to this, both professionally and in society in general.
Your blog is right on. Sometimes depression manifests in ways - like anger or isolation - which aren't always recognized as depression by the men themselves or by those around them.
I've also always heard (and don't know if it's true; though it's what I've witnessed) that when men attempt suicide they tend to choose ways from which there's no going back, compared to women (eg. a gun vs. cutting or pills).
If that's the case, the actual depression rate may be the same for the two genders, but it may be more lethal for men.
You're correct; they generally do choose more lethal methods. One of the problems with the statistics, however, is that not all suicides are listed as such for a variety of reasons--the local law only says it's suicide if a note is found (NYC), insurance considerations, professional courtesy (physicians).
My son was a manic depressive and attempted suicide many times but only when he knew he would be caught in time. He refused to take
his medication and eventually passed away a heart broken man with
2 daughters he never saw since they were 7 and 8.He had married a nurse he met in the hospital but she finally divorced him He was 50 years old and I was devistated.
I'm also a 49 year old male with depression. When untreated or otherwise depressed my thoughts constantly turn to suicide although I really don't want to do it and can generally think of enough reasons to stay around. But I've seen women mess us suicides enough to know that pills or even shooting ones self doesn't necessairily work. I sort of joke with myself that I'm going to take a bunch of pills, jump out of an airplane and shoot myself all at the same time......that seems to cheer me up. That's so strange, but it shows how men think....really do it or don't make a fool of yourself.
I am a women with a history of depression. Why do people say that you are selfish when you kill yourself? If they only knew how bad it hurts and you believe you are doing them a favor by removing yourself from an impossible situation.
SAD
I didn't really understand the depressed until it affected me. I have had suicidal dreams most notably running into a semi on a 2 lane rural blacktop (happens quite a bit in our rural community, although by accident). I have voiced the dreams but, have not talked about the feelings. There are job stresses, blended family stresses and partnership demands that affect one daily that lead to thoughts of ending it, but those affected bring me back. I believe that depression can be controlled to a point by medication but, where does one go when talking is not in the cards.
I've suffered from depression since childhood. It would come and go. I never thought of suicide back then. There was always hope. Now I understand why people chose suicide. I think about it often. I can't do it violently. I can't do it if I know I will survive. I see myself falling asleep, never to wake up, gone into that world where I originally came from before I was born. I seek peace. No more panic attacks, no more despair.
To the people out there suffering: seek help at every turn and just keep trying....life is worth living, and you are worth it. My father commited suicide in 1997 and I must think about it everyday and my mother will most likely never recover. I am not you, I don't know how you feel. But I do know that someone loves you, you may not even be aware of it, hold on...better days are going come and good things will happen to you, trust me...just live.
I am dealing with depression right now, on my own. My country does not recognise that depression is a big issue. Thus, no point bringing it out.
Anyways, there is a helpline here, but if you call them, its almost as good as calling the entire army.
I feel that its just too much of a bother. I need a person to hear me out... when family and friends fail. But most of the time, its just not possible.
If only the world was more connected and more approachable.
And I'm a woman, imagine how it must be like if I were a guy...
And to answer Anonymous#4, I've also thought about how I would kill myself in the least embarassing, hassle-free to others, way.. So far, its just jumping out of my 13th floor apartment... but I've got to remember to wear pants! haha
And I've got to remember to get rid of all my embarassing possessions...
Got to label those boxes, and yes, make sure my family knows where I keep all my important documents, insurance papers, bank documents...
sigh.
To anonymous 1:09AM:
I'm sorry that you feel so isolated. There is help available for you, truly. I'm going to post a list of resources for you. While I understand that some of them may not be accessible in your country, I'm hoping you'll try them anyway, and also that you'll consider a visit to our Depression Support Group. The members there are very supportive.
Here are some other resources for you:
International Suicide Helpline Numbers
In the UK:The Samaritans 08457 90 90 90
In Ireland:The Samaritans 1850 60 90 90
my son died at 18 of this illness and the pressure felt by young men to be a "man" is not doable all the time. They are under extreme pressure to function as a super hero. Society should evaluate this and examine the stress among men today. In loving memory of Dominic Corey Mallen from mom.
I have been medically retired out of the army for 7 years now. mostly due to Asthma and I fractured my l4 and l5 pushing on my s1 and s2 nerves. For the past 6 and ahalf years medication and water arobics have taken care of most of my problems I have my good days and I have my bad days. I am 28 years old now and my doctor just diagnosed me with Fibramyalga or what ever its called. This past saturday I tried ending my life with percocet and valium becuase I didnt want to be a burden on my wife any more and I couldnt take not being able to do anything anymore. I am seeing a theripist for this but I was wondering if there was anything eles I could do to make the pain go away other than pain drugs? any ideas?
The thing that helped me was electro convulsive therapy. it sounds scary,
but I figured if I wanted to die then I should at least try it. I was amazed at how well it worked and how quickly it worked. It does hurt after
but they of course give you pain relief. Of course, life isn't perfect
now for me but I have hope again and
have the belief now that I lost in God. It is worth it to have hope.
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
JM,
I've removed your question posted above this comment because it can be triggering for others who may be vulnerable to thoughts of self-harm or suicide.
We are very concerned about you and hope that you will seek crisis intervention services, such as those provided by Covenant House Crisis Counseling Center (1-800-999-9999 if in the United States, or at 01-753-53713 outside the U.S).
Also, WebMD offers an extended list of crisis resources on our site. Please click here to view the list.
As always, if you think you might have an emergency, please call your physician or 911 immediately.
Please get the help you need and deserve and keep yourself safe.
Yours in health,
The WebMD Community Staff
I just got off the phone with a family member and he has claimed that he has lost all the fight in him, his wife and kids are a 22 hour drive away and he is on a strict probation. what can we do as a family for him. currently, his mom and brother are just staying up and keeping an eye on him. what else can we do?
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