Texas Tragedy: A Mother's Pain
We often think of childhood fondly and some would love nothing more than to return to those idyllic, carefree days with mom and dad and their siblings. Not every family, unfortunately, and not all children have such wonderful experiences and today's news carries information about another family tragedy.
A young mother of four daughters, ages 5, 3, 2 and an eight-month-old infant, decided to end all their lives. I can only assume, having worked with parents who killed their children, that she believed it was for the best and that she was saving her children from something. The only survivor is the infant who was still alive when a relative went to the home because she had some concerns.
The stress on young parents can be enormous. Not all of these families are brought to the attention of mental health workers who might be able to help. For some, it's a matter of shame about their situation and for others it's the fear of letting strangers know about family matters. Then, too, severe depression and stress distorts our ability think clearly and see that hope and the ability to cope is there in their community.
My concern is that this latest tragedy won't be viewed through the filter of understanding of emotional turmoil and there will be those who will paint this woman as a heartless murderer. I think it is absolutely the opposite; she loved her children and wanted to protect them.
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Technorati Tags: texas, news, depression, stress, parenting, family
A young mother of four daughters, ages 5, 3, 2 and an eight-month-old infant, decided to end all their lives. I can only assume, having worked with parents who killed their children, that she believed it was for the best and that she was saving her children from something. The only survivor is the infant who was still alive when a relative went to the home because she had some concerns.
The stress on young parents can be enormous. Not all of these families are brought to the attention of mental health workers who might be able to help. For some, it's a matter of shame about their situation and for others it's the fear of letting strangers know about family matters. Then, too, severe depression and stress distorts our ability think clearly and see that hope and the ability to cope is there in their community.
My concern is that this latest tragedy won't be viewed through the filter of understanding of emotional turmoil and there will be those who will paint this woman as a heartless murderer. I think it is absolutely the opposite; she loved her children and wanted to protect them.
Related Topics:
Technorati Tags: texas, news, depression, stress, parenting, family
23 Comments:
I think that this is horrible! It's odd that this has happened in the same park as another incident.
I feel that if you are on private insurance or something that the state has to offer that you should have a 6 month and year exam by your OB doctor. Some most of these women are suffering from either depression, anxiety, or PPD. If they were able to see a doctor atleast a few more times before thier child makes a year some of these feelings and emotions would be helped.
No one will ever know what she was thinking when all of this happened. I just hope that she never realized what she was doing.
This IS horrible.
I have two children, one an 8 mo old infant. I suffer from PPD. I have been suffering with depression and BPD for most of my life. Meds don't work for me so I have no choice but to just deal with everything. Some days it is hard to keep everything under control. BUT I would never, on my worst, most paranoid, most depressed, most delusional day, ever harm my kids.
I may have issues but I know right from wrong. It really is as simple as that. I love my children more then life itself and nothing would make me kill them. Nothing.
I am so thankful that at least the baby survived. She will have a hard time dealing with what her mother did but at least she will be alive to do it. Depression and PPD do not excuse murder. As I see it, it is worse that they killed their own babies.
Life is hard, she took the easy way out. I have sympathy for the babies but not the mothers.
It sickens me to think that a person could take the life, muchless the life of the child they once carried. I have an 8 month old daughter I would give my life for. I am bi-polor, I suffer with depression every single day of my life , but NEVER in a million years could I ever harm my child in any way. It makes me sick to my stomach to see stuff like this. What is this world comming to?
Okay, PhD's can say whatever they want about these women who kill their children, but they will never really know what was in these women's minds when they committed such atrocities. I don't believe for one minute that these women didn't know that they were hurting their children. A child will FIGHT to preserve their life and I'm sure that these kids did just that....that mother had to fight to KILL her children. As a mother of a 5 month old, I know that I could NEVER do this, and I have been suffering with PPD. My little guy deserves a chance to make the world a better place.
Most of the time the problem is men, women put to much focus on men. they don't think about taking care of the themselves, they just want to please the man. I'm even starting to see more and more how women are nervous around other women when they are with there husband or boyfriend. I don't see things getting any better only worse. Women need to learn how to be happy single
Men, good place to put the blame, I guesse you have to point your finger at someone. I am divorced and went through a very tramatic one at that. My ex-wife has done so much to put ou daughter in harms way. If you want to take your life, why take others with you? How many men do you hear of drowning their children, hanging their children, or putting them in a car and letting it roll down the boat ramp into a lake???? Men are looked at as the bad ones, when we fight for our children we are criticized and discriminated against, I know that first hand. These children and any other children for that matter, do not deserve this. Yet us men have to sit by and watch because we are not allowed to protect our children.
Mothers & fathers both harm their kids. I know of a dad in Buena Park, CA who tied his son to a bed and lit him on fire. So both genders can harm their kids. We need to change hearts towards children and than begins with protecting the unborn from abortion. Once the children are here we need to protect them and be there for them and that means providing a loving home where (if at all possible) a loving parent is at home to take care of them. Let's not harm our kids with cold, uncaring daycare, abuse, abortion, or murder.
Not that I really want a huge debate here, but I guess I don't see how PREVENTING abortions has much to do with this story. This woman had 4 kids under the age of six! She'd spent about the last seven years being pregnant.
She's living in a trailer park, probably with very little money, we have no idea what her husband was like or how he treated her or the kids, and she's likely suffering from some sort of break with reality, or at least reality-based thinking.
Sorry, but it's idealistic to think that changing abortion attitudes would possibly cause kids to feel more valued or protected.
Frankly, if these kids had been in what you call 'cold, uncaring daycare', they'd still be alive today. But they were home with their mom, who was not in any shape to care for them.
I'm sorry but your logic just fails me here.
Boy, it's always a man's fault! You can all... Look ladies, quit blaming men for YOUR choices. On and on and on it goes...
Women kill children MUCH more than men do. Look up the stats. Mothers kill children MUCH more than fathers do. US Govt stats.
BUT BLAME THE MEN! And you want "equal rights", the presidency, etc., when you're all so easily manipulated by mean ole' men? Osama would just love this...
TAKE RESPOSIBILITY! She could have just walked away. Instead, she MURDERED.
And why the ... did she have so many kids, when she couldn't afford one? Heaven forbid she not have unprotected sex...
I'm sorry, but women demand special privilege and victimhood at all costs. IT'S NEVER YOUR FAULT, is it darlins?
What happened was awful. Those who have a mental illness can say they would never do such a thing. Awful things can happen when you lose touch with reality. I know from experience. To pass judgement and say she was evil because you would never do such a thing is as condecending as the nondepressed person telling you to stop being depressed because they aren't. No one knows what what her state of mind was or what horrible reality she was in.
No, one cannot point a finger and say that men cause these things. I'm not sure that was what was meant anyway. But I think the poster was right in saying that women should not base their entire lives around pleasing a man. That approach is bound to fail for multiple reasons, including that it's quite a burden on the man to be the source of all the woman's happiness.
I've seen nothing in the news regarding the background of this family. I do think there are situations where a woman may choose to have too many children, too close together, because of religious or cultural belief. I know that when I read of those cases, I feel that whatever the source of the pressure to have all those children, that pressure is not a healthy thing.
It is possible that she had all these children so close together in order to please her husband. I would not say that would make it his fault that she killed them, but I would say that if having so many so close together was an unhealthy thing for her, it's a shame she did it just to be part of the sort of couple they made together.
This entire situation is sad. In response to the comment about abortion, I do not believe that stopping women from having abortions would keep a mother who is emotionally ill from killing her children; the situation with abortion is a personal issue, but unfortunately is being used in this day and age as a form of birth control.
As for what was said about her probably doing it for a man, I don't think the writer was trying to say it was a man's fault. The fault is with a world that makes being part of a couple the end all to life. Don't get me wrong; I think that a healthy, happy marriage is a wonderful thing. Unfortunately today, a lot of people (not just women) look toward a relationship, not themselves, to be happy. Therefore, they put too much emphasis on getting there. They need to learn to be happy on their own, rather than expect someone else to do it for them. That cannot happen; someone who does not love themselves, cannot be happy no matter what someone else does. In fact, the other person cannot stay at the top of their game all the time and then they are the reason the other person is not happy.
I understand what the writer was saying. As in the case with Susan Smith, she killed her children because she thought the man she wanted would want her if her children weren't involved. That was not the man's fault; he didn't say "get rid of your kids and I will love you". It's what her ill mind translated his not wanting a relationship with her to mean.
As for a woman having lots of children in a short period of time, again you cannot always blame the man. Yes, there are men out there who want lots of children and do not want their wives/girlfriends to use birth control or have tubal ligations. However, for the most part, it is the women (sometimes girls, if you will) that will not take birth control, will not take control of their lives. There are numerous reasons why they don't, but they all result with way too many women having children back to back.
If you are healthy, able to support them, love them, and give them the physical & emotional support they need, more power to you. But there are women out there who keep having babies because their drug of choice is illegal; because they are mentally ill and cannot function on their own (so how could they remember to take a pill everyday or go to a doctor every 3 months for a shot). Not only do they not try to keep from getting pregnant, they expose themselves to sexually transmitted diseases.
It's a sad world. I know! I am a labor & delivery nurse in a inner city hospital and, unfortunately, I see it all. For those women out there that think I must be a man for defending them, I'm not. I am a grown woman who has seen the realities of the world up close and personal & don't rely on the media to tell me how to think.
If people want to know how they can prevent tragedies like this in the future, get involved. This can happen in any socioeconomic situation, in any part of the country. This is not just for the poor, the southern, the uneducated....this can happen to anyone.
I feel so sad for this family. None of us could put ourselves in this mother's shoes at the time of this tragedy to come up with a logical reason for any of it because it defies all logic.
The birth control comments previously were absurd! BOTH parties in a sexual relationship are responsible for birth control, not just the woman.
Unfortunately, it is in our society that it's ok for the dad to walk away and not the mom. Moms are expected to hold up the family, and some moms are just not capable of handling that kind of pressure.
What's sad is that NO ONE saw this coming...? Not even the sister/aunt who found them? That's incredible to me. It's up to every single one of us to reach out to others in time of crisis.
Stop pointing fingers and start opening your arms.
"The birth control comments previously were absurd! BOTH parties in a sexual relationship are responsible for birth control, not just the woman."
I agree wholeheartly. BUT, when it all comes down to it, when two people have sex, it is the woman who is left holding the bag. The man cannot get pregnant and he cannot be made to take responsibility..yeah, there are laws for that, but too many are walking away, even the ones who were married to the woman. I'm not saying that no man takes responsibility, but I also say that if you do not want to have a baby (man or woman), you better not leave it up to the other person to take care of it. Your body, your responsibility!
I honestly believe that anyone who is capable taking their children's lives was a person who truly did not care for their children.
I have 4 children and I have had no support help from anyone to help in the raising of my children. Even though there may be times where I feel like my head is going to explode from the stress of everyday life, I could never ever think of doing such a cowardly horrible thing to get out of the responsiblity. I love all my children and could never hurt them no matter what stress or nonsense I was feeling.
I am so tired of hearing about these cowardly parents who kill their children that is just sinful. Just because your feeling stressed out or feeling like you wanna end life DON'T TOUCH OR HARM YOUR CHILD/REN. If you can't handle the responsibilty then ask for help. Or if you no longer feel you can handle the responsibilty of being a parent then do the right thing call children's protective services or childrens aid society or drop them at a family members house and just leave. Yes I know its hard to be a single parent in today's age and how family isn't there to help because everyone is consumed by their own lives and how alot of people in these days have no strong family values or moral ethics. But it was you choice to have them you should have realized before having them what stress or whatever emotional feelings come along with being a parent. If you feel before hand that being a parent isnt for you then dont have children get yourself fixed. It's not like getting a pet where tehehe you happy one minute with it and next minute it doing something you don't like so now your excuse is get rid of it. People like that have no business having a child/ren to begin with. Those so called parents who done that to their children were nothing more then selfish ignorant people and I can say there is NO EXCUSE for doing what they done. NO EXCUSES. I don't care if you had the worst life growing up either that still is no excuse. Because I went through hell in back growing up but it did not shape who I am and it didn't make me into a bad person either. I have strong family values and moral ethics. Right is right and wrong is wrong there is NO excuse for anyone to harm children in anyway. You choose to be the way you are no one else can make you who you are either. Either you wanna be a human being or you don't.
So for those of yous who use that old lame excuses oh it was do to me so thats why I did. GROW UP!!!
If it had been done to you then you know the pain it caused you so why on earth would wanna put someone else through that. STOP! The EXCUSES there is nothing that can ever justify hurting or taking a life of a child.
All those women had to do was DIAL 911.
As for those family members who stood by and did nothing if they knew something was wrong with any of those women I hope your dreams haunt you! Because too many people just standing by and not stepping in when it really was needed. All you had to do as a Family memember was just help visit offer to babysit for an hour or two just to help which I am sure it proably would of. Most single parents who are alone feel that lost conection of being in contact with other adults. But not everyone realizes it. Some of us can handle the isoliation and look forward to the day that when there children are older and indepent with going to school on their own that their adulthood freedom will return. 10 yrs really isnt that long to wait by then your children will be wanting their space to hang with their friends their in full time school. All the freedom it's worth the wait. At first it is stressful just having one then two then more but if you find yourself stressing from first one then hold off on having anymore too soon there's no rush to have then back to back. space your children out give yourself a chance. Some women are are only able just having one child while others are able to handle more and some who realized the true about themselves that they are just not the type a person that should have a child don't have any. Just because you don't have children doesn't mean your less of a person then anyone else. Sometimes those women know they'd make a bad parent or they just like their life to themselves. Life has oppunities some may seem unvailable at that moment to reach but get though one day at a time and soon enough a years gone by. Your children are the most precious gifts from God! If he did not want you to have them be here on earth to live a full life then he would not have gave you them. No one has the right to decide against God! So please if you wanna end your life do it by yourself, leave your children alone they have the right to decide their own lives and the right to live their life and please go away from them when you do. They don't need to see that crap.
Just call 911 say children home alone can someone come and check on them.
Or
Call a family member go and visit them tell them your going to the store leave your kids there.
Or
Call children's aid or protect services.
Depression is no excuse either it may cloud your thoughts but it doesnt cloud your knowing the difference between right from wrong.
For all you parents who feel stress your not alone some are just fakers if they claim the are not stressed being a parent.
There is no precfect parent either.
Do your best as long as your child/ren is happy and showing you love then you are doing good. Having you child wanting to spend time with you or smile at you or hug you or giggle is the most rewarding feeling in the world thats when you know in your heart that your child is happy your their mother.
Oh and yes the whinny screamy I want throwing a fit stage is common and yes it is a headache full of stress. but it doesnt stop eventually you just need to try and figure out how to avoid it.......LOL every child is different what may work for one may not work for another. Good Luck and enjoy your children because soon they be adults and before you know it wow time few by.
Wake up. I have a problem when single parents go to churches and ask for help and they leave or in attendance of church and kill themselves because of wrong advice and NO HELP (that would be a very homosexual church=Foursquare, Assemblies ("assassins") of god, Vineyard, Calvary Chapel and the like. Just read the book 10 Lies The Church Tells Women, they don't care about people just you to keep them in their lifestyle, start asking where the money goes and who do they help. People need to look around and ask Single Parents, Widows if they need help before it gets to this state (no one thought when they got married they were going to end up divorced or seperated)? The welfare and social service system doesn't work. No one wants to hear the plight of the single parent and their children (they can't afford to pay rent, feed, cloth them and no help, everyone is too busy with their own lives). Due to the family overall is dysfunctional the families want to go and live their life. When it all comes down to it, end of your life ALL THAT MATTERED WAS YOUR IMMEDIATE FAMILY AND FRIENDS. Majority of Caucasian Families kick their kids out at 18, especially Christian Homes and where are your children going to work and support themselves because you can't (matriarchal bitch or patriarchal disaster can't get their head out of their ars to help the family and WORK TOGETHER) so they end up working at walmart, k-mart etc., can't afford life, rent. Just look at the family as a whole and how dysfunctional it all is. So when the time comes the kids stick their parents in nursing homes can't afford to help them or because you reaped what you sowed in kicking them out and they don't come around. How many of you lived in houses you couldn't live in. Work with your families now and have a networking system to help one another. If the church is not doing social, charity, humanitarian endeavors (feeding, clothing, shelter of homeless, single parents, widows, orphans, poor then THEY NEED TO BE TAXED AS THE BUSINESSES THAT THEY ARE. YOU can't go to 99.9% of the churches (and their families are dysfunctional). NO ONE QUESTIONS WHERE THE MONEY GOES-EXCEPT IN their pockets and do you like your money going to molest, rape, sodomize and murder children and supporting adulterous/homosexual pastors? Amazing. Wake up and help people, start asking and their children if need shoes, clothing, food, etc., LIKE ABOUT A BOY, Boys Riding in Cars with Girls and on and on it goes.
Why don't you all live the life of a single a parent doing it all with no help and getting from your so-called Christian Family "you get what you deserve" (what did they learn in church).
Start helping people, quit heaping unto self and start helping and serving people. Try networking single parents for over 30 years and here the hell they go through, NOT THAT ANYONE CARES (spouse playing games, withholding child support the judicial system doesn't work regarding child support. How can you take off work and go to court (one day off that's your groceries for the week). Same if your children get sick, try paying for child care in this day and age-hideous..We're not caring about our families and people our we leaving our world to a mad max society? What was that movie Empire of the Sun where the people went through the football field of stuff when people were dying and needing food. It's not stuff that matter's it's human life and people. Help single parents, orphans. You never know when you open your home, whose life you're saving, if it wasn't for the neighbors I wouldn't be here=thank God for people who opened up their hearts/home and lived truly Christian (they didn't talk it, they lived it).
Amazing, America all that we have and this the killing of our own children (we who have so much and our in want and need of nothing for those who have it to help-please help, serve, be kind to people all the time. Example: If the media lies and says you can't get aids from saliva and sweat not only are they lying to their children but all American's children (do they want them to die?). There are reports that say otherwise, like WEBA organization and or Marketing of Evil by David Kupelian, one hospital has in their report that you can get aids from (research a matter always). Help people ("the world is predicated on lies" like when they say 57% if for Hiliary-not true-always research a matter. HELP PEOPLE, SERVE PEOPLE; THOSE WHO HAVE NOTHING GIVE OUT OF THEIR NOTHING, WHY IS THAT? We need more tax-breaks for single parents! HELP THEM DON'T KICK THEM IN THE TEETH WHEN THEY'RE DOWN OR TELL THEM THEY GET WHAT THEY DESERVE.
It's times like this that you wished people would quit giving to Paul/Jan Crouch/TBN (people made them Tycoons 7/21/07 L.A. Times article 9/19-20/04 and Kenneth Copeland and Benny Hinn (reearch Trinity Foundation for articles on)
that brainwashed people in the church would give to people because they are the church, not buildings that no one can live in or eat. PEOPLE ARE THE CHURCH (not buildings). Quit giving to these crooks and charlatans on TBN and whatever else and look around and help people, single parents and their children, widows, orphans, homeless, poor (solve the problem). THINK ABOUT IT!
Hi, i have 5year old twins and i would like to say that even if a man treated the woman poorly she should love her children enough to take them and leave not kill her children.and i would like to add: men are less likely to harm their children because they are not with them as often as the mother,what i am saying is that the father's need to take responsibility and help with rasing the children.Womam have a lot of stress we work come home care for the children and the men,don't you think we need time to ourselves after all men want families but not responsibilities.What i am saying is if the men would help with the responsibility women wouldn't be so stressed.
I am Bi Polor to, I have been for about 13 teen years. As a child I tried to kill my self, thats when my mother took me to the doctor and he told her that I had what was was called Bi polor, she did not under stand what it was, to her i was just acting out, I was put on meds and they helped some what,now that I'm married and have one child who is 16 teen years old. I have come to under stand the mental health better. I take Lithum every day to help me get throug. I say people shout not judge, they dont know what she was going through that day, I to belive she only wonted to procter her children and loved them. May god bless each and every reader.
I am a husband of some one who has bi polar disorder and she raises our son.Whyen Iam at work our son has turned out just fine he is doing good in school.People with bipolier disorder aer capable of taking care of children as mouch as any one else can .If any man who don't help is not a man he is a dead beat dad and ant worth woring over.The good book says don't judge unless you wont to be judged.So if you don't know what other people are going through don't speak
wow bipolar disorder sure is popular I have it too! Yes I too can say I never in a million years ever thought of hurting my baby. There are also women out there that have ppd and never harmed their children. But just because you have BPD or PPD doesn't mean you know anything about schizophrenia. There are mental illness out there even worse than yours. Illness that makes you more than just a little moody
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