The Art of Relationships

By Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD

Gossip – the unconstrained talking about others in a (typically) negative way – is generally thought of as being a bad thing. In its worst form, it unmercifully targets its victims and denigrates them. Such gossip also harms those who dish it out – often encouraging them to lead a more self-centered and compassionless existence. Still, gossip is sometimes a good thing.

Prosocial gossip – the good kind of gossip – is the sharing of negative information about someone, but information that protects others from being exploited. So, it is different from other gossip in that it’s not idle chatter; it has a prosocial goal. A good example of this is when Bernie Madoff’s victims talked about feeling victimized, which eventually led to his downfall. Although people don’t usually think of this as gossip, it is gossip in the sense that it is talking about other people in a negative way. Another more common example is when women in an office spread the word about a male colleague who has a history of pursuing women purely for the thrill of the chase. It is precisely this kind of gossip that researchers Feinberg, Willer, Stellar, and Keltner from the University of California investigated in a recent series of studies. They found the following:

People who see or become aware of antisocial acts tend to feel some level of distress, and they are compelled to share information about those who committed the acts – especially to potential victims. This is positive on a few different levels. Not only does it help the potential victim, but it also helps the greater community by curtailing destructive acts that could proliferate. For instance, our office gigolo will run out of victims and everyone will be the better for it – including him. In addition, the person who shares this information benefits. Spreading the word alleviates his or her distress, and this feels good.

Although most people are inclined to engage in prosocial gossip, it’s those who greatly value cooperation and fairness who are particularly inclined toward it, even when it involves a personal risk. These people also feel the greatest relief from doing it.

These findings about prosocial gossip raise many questions. For instance: Are those who engage in the practice seen as more likable and trustworthy than those who don’t? How effective is prosocial gossip in helping groups cooperate more? And, does it really help keep people from acting selfishly?

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