Separating Emotional and Physical Reactions
Commenters had much to say about my "Positive Attitude" post! Here's one that sums up most of them:
Sometimes one person who has herpes has very frequent symptoms and a person that they infect have none. We really aren't sure why that happens, but it is likely due to individual immune responses, rather than something to do with the virus.
In addition, people perceive symptoms differently. One person might describe a sore as "debilitating" while someone else might describe the exact same sore as "irritating". The difference probably relate to people's pain tolerance and reactions to discomfort, but I'm convinced that a lot of the perception is due to people's emotional reaction to having herpes.
The emotional component of herpes cannot be separated from the physical. I've had patients tell me that they are having weekly outbreaks that are devastating to their lives, that they are unable to function normally. When I exam them, I see nothing or minimal redness, and when I have them do daily home swabbing, there is no virus recovered. So what I think is going on is that people are reacting emotionally to the infection, overinterpretting their symptoms, and that is driving the devastation in their lives.
I see the same thing in people who say that their suppressive therapy is "not doing anything". Often, these symptoms are some other medical condition, but sometimes they are the emotional fallout misperception of symptoms. This is a painful emotional issue for people, but if they are able to understand that this isn't all about the physical manifestations of genital herpes, and actually believe it, then they can feel better.
Related Topics: Drug Shortens Genital Herpes Outbreaks, Vaginal Gel Blocks Herpes, HIV
Technorati Tags: genital herpes, depression, STD
I contracted genital herpes as a result of my husband's affair with my son's girlfriend's mother. I suffer severe symptoms with each breakout, while he (yes, we are still married) doesn't seem to have any symptoms or either doesn't mention any. I wonder if anyone can tell me why? I agree that a positive attitude is helpful when dealing with any stressful situation or illness but I'm having a really hard time due to the fact that my son will probably soon marry his girlfriend and I will be forced to face this woman. Any suggestions to help me with any or all of this sordid information? Thanks (An RN who learned the hard way)
Sometimes one person who has herpes has very frequent symptoms and a person that they infect have none. We really aren't sure why that happens, but it is likely due to individual immune responses, rather than something to do with the virus.
In addition, people perceive symptoms differently. One person might describe a sore as "debilitating" while someone else might describe the exact same sore as "irritating". The difference probably relate to people's pain tolerance and reactions to discomfort, but I'm convinced that a lot of the perception is due to people's emotional reaction to having herpes.
The emotional component of herpes cannot be separated from the physical. I've had patients tell me that they are having weekly outbreaks that are devastating to their lives, that they are unable to function normally. When I exam them, I see nothing or minimal redness, and when I have them do daily home swabbing, there is no virus recovered. So what I think is going on is that people are reacting emotionally to the infection, overinterpretting their symptoms, and that is driving the devastation in their lives.
I see the same thing in people who say that their suppressive therapy is "not doing anything". Often, these symptoms are some other medical condition, but sometimes they are the emotional fallout misperception of symptoms. This is a painful emotional issue for people, but if they are able to understand that this isn't all about the physical manifestations of genital herpes, and actually believe it, then they can feel better.
Related Topics: Drug Shortens Genital Herpes Outbreaks, Vaginal Gel Blocks Herpes, HIV
Technorati Tags: genital herpes, depression, STD
29 Comments:
can a person test negative for herpes 2 and still be a carrier
the doctor said that u can be exposed to herpes but not have it, what does that mean?i have been looking on the internet but i can't find what it means. can u help please?
Thank you Terri. Those of you with questions should read the Genital Herpes Board on WebMD where Terri, Betsy and others answer many of these questions for others. The Board also helps many of us to remember that we are not alone which helps a little bit with the depression we feel. Unfortunately the Board has been quite busy lately. There are many questions added daily so you should be able to find the answer to yours. I believe the RNs that support the board probably have some "pat" answers saved and are able hit Copy and Paste quite often. Thanks to all those folks for their support. Hew/he
I want to feel better but the problem is the constant pain I am feeling. It seems I always have some issues down there. My MD believe s I have permanent nerve damage. I have tested positive for hsv1 using the Western Blot about 50 days after exposure. I just recently was re-tested (now about 100 days) because I want to confirm my diagnosis. I have a friend that wants to become close and thinking about telling her this stuff caused an episode last week. Now I have pain and sores again. Additioanlly I had Uretnitis so my nerves were uder constant assault for about 3 months. This sure isn't acting like hsv1. Your Blog from February discussing the low probability of passing hsv1 on was very uplifting and helpful especially the part about the high probability of anyone having hsv1 orally which provides them some good protection against what I believe I have. Where else can I read information to support this? Thanks.
IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE ONLY 1 HERPETIC LESION IN THE SMALL OF THE BACK?
Terri, thank you so much for this post. I'm in the very situation you describe where the emotional impact of this condition far outweighs any physical symptoms I have. All I experience typically is some mild redness, but what concerns me is that is this the sign of an actual outbreak? I'm beginning to feel like I'm in one continual long breakout because I typically have some redness and am starting to feel like I'm turning into a hypochondriac. In any case, I'm speaking with my doctor about it next week.
I really just had a question about genital herpes, Does a regular pap smear not test for genital herpes? I'm honestly not sure if that's what the bumps I have are, I was once diagnosed with chlamydia, but took the antibiotics and was rid of that, but I now have bumps that to be honest look like pimples. Before I met my husband I was with a man who was permiscuous, but I have been with my husband for four years and have three children, if this was genital herpes wouldn't there have been some way of knowing with all the bloodwork they do during a pregnancy? My obgyn knows my husband and I very well and I really do not want to have to ask her to test me specifically for genital herpes and have her maybe think one of us has had an affair. Please help!!!!!
can you have hsv-2 on the face, hands, arms
Hello Terri,
I have had Herpes now for 8 years and am still married to the man that infected me.I found out early in my pregnancy due to a very caring midwife, who noticed a small sore.I was given no choice and had to have a C section,which was much safer for my child.As my body returned to normal after my child was born I noticed that I would have an "attack" or "outbreak" at the same time as my period was due. I gave myself a year to try and work out my emotions, what was PMS, baby blues,overreacting toherpes,forgiving my husband etc.At that time it seemed to me that I was always on the verge of healing just to break out again. I went for medical help when the pain in the base of my back seemed constant.Unfortunately for me the medications for Herpes seemed to have more bad side effects than it was worth,so I stopped.Fast forward 5 years when I had to have a total hysterectomy(nothing to do with herpes)My symptoms changed. I no longer have a period, and seldom get an attack on the genitals.The pain in the base of my back goes down my thigh but I now have the sores on my buttocks.Hindsight is a wonderful thing as now that I don't have the mood swings and tears etc associated with a period I can and am aware of how herpes affects my emotional state.Naturally I had an innitial"emotional reaction to having Herpes" 8 years ago. My "perception" on seeing and living with these sores does not leed to an emotional fallout.The only "misperception of symptoms"that I am personally aware of is that I am either irritable,short tempered,sometimes overwhelmed a day or two before the
dredded tingle starts which is the first stage of Herpes for me.The only time I "feel better" is when I don't have a raging outbreak!
Terri i have a question i was recently diagonosed with herpies after my husband cheated on me i have been having a really hard time with it. My question is he has not had an out break in about 2 mounts and i never know if i am accually having an out break is it an ingrown hair? did i eat too much cereal and cut the roof of my mouth? how do i tell if i am haveing an out break? the meds that the dr perscribed is for when you have an out break but i never know when or what i am having i find my self takeing the meds all the time. what do i need to do?
tracirinagreg@yahoo.com
To any of you who have specific questions about your own situation, please post them on our Genital Herpes: Terri Warren, RN, ANP board. :-)
Can you have permanent nerve damage from herpes. I seem to have
I've had herpes for 20 years with little to no outbreaks in the past 10 years. I dated the same man for the 5 years and did not pass it to him. I broke up with him a year ago and now I have started to date again. I met a wonderful guy and meant to have the talk with him. But just the other night things went futher than I expected or planned and I didn't say anything. It was only our 5th date and we had sex. Now I am having all the symptoms of an outbreak. I am feeling terrible about exposing him without and even worse without his knowledge. I have to tell him and I don't know how. I can't sleep. I just feel sick about it. I should tell him tomorrow...I am really afraid I have exposed him. I think I am having a full on outbreak. The first in years. Do you have any advise on how I should handle this? Help! I really like him, I thought he could be the one...now I've blown it. what is the best way to approach the subject with him?
I was diagnosed with genital herpes five month ago. I was devastated because I didn' know if my husband was cheating on me. My question is can the virus live in a man's body for years. My husband told me when we were dating that he had been with hookers twice in his life when he was a teenager. He swears for his daughter he didn't cheat on me. The worst thing is that I truly believe him. I algo got Papiloma Human Virus long time ago. Can you help me out here??
I have a question, and I don't really have anyone else to ask since the clinic I went to seem to very uneducated about genital herpes. Within the last few months I was diagnosed with herpes. My boyfriend and I had broken up for a few months, which is when I believe I contacted the virus (he was tested too and was negative), and have since gotten back together. He is completely aware of my situation and very supportive, but in the 3 months since we've been make together I have not allowed us to have sex again. I am terrified of giving it to him, especially since I was told you can transfer it to someone even if you arent' having an outbreak. and i was told that some outbreaks aren't even noticeable. I only had one outbreak (the one that lead to be diaginosed) where i had sores, so i worry i may not know it even if i had one. what can i do so we can have a normal sexual relationship and not transfer the virus to him?
so if lysol kills herpes 1 and 2 if you recognize an outbreak and you put lysol on a q-tip and wipe the sore will it kill the virus?
my brother was recently told he has herpes, he is still living at home. my question is, are there any precautions that we should take as a family so that he doesnt spread the virus to us. like can we eat out of the same dishes,eating utensils? can his clothes be washed with tha rest of our clothes? any information on this would be helpful
can anyone help me?...i've had herpes now for 6 months. the last outbreak cleared up 5 months ago, but the itching has remained constant and is now spreading from the vaginal area. does anyone have similiar simptoms and if so, what and why doesn't the itching go away? i've taken acyclovir before but nothing seems to get rid of the irritation and itching. going out of my mind...please help.
Please help! My girlfriend is waiting back for a test for herpes and whether or not it is HSV-1 or HSV-2 and it makes sense that she has it because we had oral sex and I am an HSV-1 carrier and had a recent outbreak but no visible sores during the act. If she is infected, it has to be HSV-1 because that is what I have. Please tell me this this correct?
To any of you who have specific questions about your own situation, please post them on our Genital Herpes: Terri Warren, RN, ANP board.
I was diagnosed with genital HSV1 2 1/2 years ago. I have been married for 7 years. It was likely from receiving oral sex from my husband. He does not have genital HSV. The diagnosis made me feel violated. I was embarassed. The only people who know about it are my husband, my best girlfriend, and health professionals bound by privacy laws. I am still embarassed to say the word "herpes" or to explain to nurses or doctors why I take Acyclovir every day. (Don't they know what it's for?) I am one of those people who seem to always have symptoms. As soon as one dissappears, another shows up. I am plagued by constant itching, rashes of tiny red bumps/spots that never turn into full blisters, and open sores like long papercuts. My husband and I never have sex because I am constantly "infested." But he is always suggesting it. So I feel like it is my fault that we don't have sex and he just doesn't understand how bad it is. I tell him that I feel like someone has taken a cheese grater to my crotch and he still makes sexy comments. Now I dread going to bed at night. This is a horrible stress on our marriage. I sometimes wish he had it too just so he could sympathize. I will be seeing my doctor again soon. I am hoping that there is another treatable infection going on so these symptoms will be less frequent. I'm glad I found this blog. I really needed to vent anonymously.
Its almost 1am.
I am sitting here reading everyones comments.
I can see myself in peoples commentes. The worry, frustration, sadness. My husband gave me herpes when I was pregnant, I found out he had been cheating on me.
Its been almost 4 years and I still feel violated.
I am in a new relationship, and tomorrow I plan to tell this guy I am falling head over heels in love with. We haven't made love yet. But my gut instinct tells me, when I tell him tomorrow, he will no longer be interested in me.
My heart just feels like its breaking right now.
(((Hugs))) to anyone out there feeling like this right now too...
~Jessica. Colorado, USA
I am in the midst of my first outbreak. It is very painful - I can't sit, I can't walk, I can't do anything I would normally do. On top of that, the pain meds precribed to me make me nauseous and constipated. I'm not hungry, I am just very tired (can't sleep due to the pain) and I am just wondering how long this is going to last. It's been 6 days....
I just found out yesterday that I have herpes. My ex boyfriend got it from this girl he met over the internet. I am so depressed. I can't handle it. I start school next week and I don't want to go. I don't even care about it now. When I get out of bed, I feel hopeless. I can't stop crying. All I keep thinking about is finding a great guy someday and having to tell him that I have it. I don't know how to do it. I am terrified that I won't find anyone because of it. I just feel so depressed and alone. I don't know how to handle it.
I HAVE HAD SHINGLES 4 TIMES IN THE LAST 3 MONTHS. I WAS HOPEFUL WHEN THE LAST BATCH WENT AWAY, WELL NOW CAME THE FUN PART. WHEN THINGS TEND TO STRESS ME OUT I PASSOUT AND REMEMBER NOTHING. THIS IS BECOMING A DAILY HABIT. I HAVE MORE BUMPS AND BRUISES ON MY HEAD THAN I CAN COUNT. MY BIGGEST PROBLEM IS, I WORK IN A DAY CARE CENTER AND I AM SCARED TO DEATH TO GO BACK TO WORK FOR FEAR I WOULD PASSOUT WHILE HOLDING A CHILD. I'M TAKING MY MED'S BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO HELP. IT HAS BEEN 2 MONTHS SINCE THIS STARTED ANDY HELP WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECAITED.
Dont get your selves down! Having herpes doesnt mean that u cant still have a life! i found out that i had this after i had been raped when i was alot younger! i have been with the same guy for the last 9 months and when i decided to tell him i thought he was gonna lose all interest and leave me! when i finally did tell him, he informed me that, he would never leave me over something like this how could he??? i was honest!he told me that we would get through it together and we would both be fine! he was glad i told him b4 anything went down between us! well that was about three months into the relationship and 6 months later we are still together and loving every moment of it!
I feel horrible my fiance and I have been together for 2 years I recently found out I had herpes. He doesn't have it and I haven't told him that I do I am so afraid to tell him. I feel like an imposter. I take medicine everyday and we are careful. I need to tell him but no one in my life knows except me and my doctor. I'm a horrible person. Everytime I see a valtrex commercial I feel ill. How could I tell him after this long?
ive ad herpes for roughly a yr,i was very ill off my 1st outbreak which result came back as type 2 but didnt tell any1 what it was.a few months later my boyfriend had his 1st outbreak i felt so guilty but even to this day i havent told him the truth and when i had an outbreak he felt really bad that somehow he had this and passed it 2 me.ive found that worring about it causes more outbreaks and it has learned me a lesson the hard way that cheating is wrong and can result in serious affects.as we are now tho it is easy 2 cope with it in a relationship if u are open and can talk about and the outbreaks are over within a few days.we enjoy a healthy sex life and have become alot closer.this is the best site that i have come across while looking up about it as most sites just dont seem 2have the answers u want.just try not 2 worry you wouldnt not want to be with some1 just cause they had a coldsore and thats just what genital herpes are
I haven't yet been diagnosed with herpes, but am in fear that I have it. I recently got back together with my ex who apparently had been with others during our break. The pain is unbearable, is there anything that will stop the itching?
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