Herpes: A Positive Attitude Matters

People are absolutely miserable about having herpes and others have a bit of an upset and move on without thinking too much about it.

Why do different people react so differently? I think that the major difference is what people believe about having herpes. If someone believes that herpes is a moral judgment, is a punishment for bad behavior, is going to end the sex life that you had before, is going to interfere with having a family, and will make you suffer forever, than the feelings that you have about herpes will be sad indeed. Perhaps even desperate. So the belief leads to the feelings.

Let's now change the beliefs - let's say you believe that herpes is simply a virus that found a cell in which to live, has nothing to do with shame, is manageable when it comes to a sexual relationship with suppression and condoms, can successfully be managed during a pregnancy by a qualified OB, that there is sadness at this news, but that having herpes does not change the core of who you are, then the outlook will be much brighter.

So it isn't the infection "herpes" that causes the feelings, again, it is the beliefs about herpes that either causes you to adjust nicely or to fall into a depression. Changing your beliefs is not easy, it takes repetition and reminding yourself every day to think differently. But it is possible and necessary for a rich and rewarding life in spite of herpes.

Related Topics: Sex Ed for the Suddenly Single, Genital Herpes Support Group

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Female to Female Herpes Transmission

Sometimes I am asked about female to female transmission of HSV. Many women who have women as their sexual partners have also had men as their sexual partners at some time in the past or currently. These women may well have HSV 2 due to penetrative intercourse in the past with a man.

However, if a woman only has sex with other women, it is probably true that she is more likely to have genital HSV 1 than 2, most commonly transmitted by receiving oral sex from someone else. HSV 1 genitally recurs less often and sheds less often, but does not protect a person from getting HSV 2. If any protection is offered, it is minimal. HSV 2, however, does appear to almost completely protect a person from getting HSV 1 subsequently.

Related Topics: Oral Sex Raises Women's Genital Herpes Risk, Sexually Transmitted Diseases

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Type I Herpes Transmission

Here is a question from a commenter on my earlier post about Herpes Myths:

i was diagnosed with Type 1 HSV in the genital area. I have recently begun a new
relationship and I don't know how to broach the subject. Any help?

Type 1 is increasingly a cause of new genital herpes infections. This is probably due to an increase in the practice of oral genital sex.

People who have cold sore virus, without or with symptoms, can transfer this virus from their mouth to the genitals of their partner by giving them oral sex. HSV 1 sheds from the mouth on about 18% of days that we look.

However, when that virus gets transferred to the genital area, it prefers this location less. In fact, HSV 1 genitally sheds on about 3-5% of days measured, vs. 15-20% of days measured for HSV 2 genital infection. And the recurrence rate is a lot less also.

The person who has HSV 1 genital infection may still want to disclose
this information to a partner, as the infection can be transmitted, though it is
not common for this to happen, through intercourse.

If the new partner is also HSV 1 positive, but has the infection orally (that is, they have a known history of cold sores), then they are unlikely to get the infection genitally, through sexual contact, as they have antibody that will likely (though not perfectly) protect them from getting the HSV 1 at a new location. The same is true for the person with the HSV 1 genital infection. They are unlikely to now get cold
sores from their partner who has oral infection. It should be noted, however,
that the person who has HSV 1 genital infection can still get a type 2 infection.

Related Topics: Vaginal Gel Blocks Herpes, HIV, Cranberry May Help Fight Herpes Virus

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