Is breast-feeding obscene?
Before getting into it, take a look at the cover of the August edition of Babytalk, a free magazine for new moms:
What's your first reaction? Beautiful? Offensive? Not a big deal either way? Would you have qualms if your kids were to see it?
Two blogs ago ("Breast-feed or else") I raised the concern that American attitudes towards public breast-feeding and lack of support in the workplace are two reasons for the disappointing numbers of nursing mothers in the U.S. After reading about this brouhaha, I've done a little more research. Here's what I found in a recent study* of the attitudes of 5,000 U.S. adults to the following statements:
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**Article cited
Related Topics: Breastfed Babies Less Stressed Later?, Breastfeeding in Public: A Mother's Rights
Technorati Tags: BabyTalk, breastfeeding
What's your first reaction? Beautiful? Offensive? Not a big deal either way? Would you have qualms if your kids were to see it?
Turns out, this cover has caused a lot of controversy. Babytalk received 700 irate letters (far more than they ever had). In a poll of 4,000 of their readers, about 1/4 felt the cover was "inappropriate"( "gross," "obscene," "offensive") .
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Two blogs ago ("Breast-feed or else") I raised the concern that American attitudes towards public breast-feeding and lack of support in the workplace are two reasons for the disappointing numbers of nursing mothers in the U.S. After reading about this brouhaha, I've done a little more research. Here's what I found in a recent study* of the attitudes of 5,000 U.S. adults to the following statements:
- Women should have the right to breastfeed their infants in public. (43% agree)
- It is appropriate to show a woman breastfeeding her baby on TV. (28% agree)
- Employers should provide flexible work schedules, such as additional break time, for breastfeeding mothers. (50% agree)
- Employers should provide extended maternity leave to make breastfeeding easier. (47% agree)
- Employers should provide a private room for breastfeeding mothers to pump milk at work. (43% agree)
- Public buildings need to have a room where women can breastfeed or pump milk. (41% agree)
- Shopping malls should provide a private place to help women breastfeed their babies. (52% agree)
- Breastfeeding education should be available as part of a high school health education curriculum. (33% agree)
- I would support tax incentives for employers who make special accommodations to make breastfeeding easier. (27% agree)
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Dr. P comments
The numbers (none more than 50%) speak volumes about our tepid support for breastfeeding moms. The authors did note that support of breast-feeding was higher in younger, better educated, and minority groups. Perhaps if the more culturally diverse younger generation is any smarter (OK, maybe I'm dreaming here), that support will rise over the next years.
But what seems especially unfathomable to me is the inability - indeed, the unacceptability - for a women's breast to be seen as anything other than a sexual object. For men, perhaps it's the "madonna or whore" complex - combined with a Playboy obsession with the female breast - being played out. After all, we men aren't great at multi-tasking. For some women, perhaps it's the desire to keep the breast mysterious and alluring, lest it lose its hold over men and be seen as just another working part of the ordinary eternal machinery.
Whatever the reasons, it seems to be perfectly acceptable to show titilating (sorry, couldn't resist) pictures of actresses with very revealing dresses on the cover of magazines. That we get. That we can accept. But show a picture of a breast being used, as it has for millions of years, to nourish an infant...
You got to admit, as John Prine sings, it's a big old goofy world.
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**Article cited
Li R, et al. Journal of the American Dietetic Association 104: 1162-1168, 2004.
Related Topics: Breastfed Babies Less Stressed Later?, Breastfeeding in Public: A Mother's Rights
Technorati Tags: BabyTalk, breastfeeding
42 Comments:
I think this picture is absolutely beautifully done!!! BF is a TOTALLY NATURAL thing, the BEST thing for a baby to get a GREAT start in life, and it's how EVERY mammal feeds their young- yet some, for some reason think it's gross!?!? Look back in time- this is how all babies were fed way back when. I don't think we need to go backwards in time, BUT, it's STILL the best thing for a baby!!! Someday, I hope we get to the point where more babies are BF than FF!!!
I don't think there is anything wrong with this cover or breastfeeding in public. I also hate feeling like I need to cover up when breastfeeding in public, or feel like I need to take a bottle with us. I was amazed to see a local mall had a room for nursing moms. I shouldn't be amazed by that, I think every mall and store should have one.
I love the cover and never crossed my mind twice about it. In fact it's still on my table and no one has said anything about it!!
BF is natural and I am so sad that I was not able to nurse my 2nd baby.
I think what is obsene is young girls and women who have their boobs out there for all the world to see in skimpy clothes or nothing at all!!!
Boobs were made to feed children! That is their function. This is how all children were once fed and I wonder what the problem is with it?? I am not one to whip them out to feed my baby but cover up when out in public, but I would feed my baby when she wanted to eat.
I wish that we could all get together and complain about covers on magazines with those in skimpy clothes or nothing (just covering themselves up with their hands!!)
I can't believe how people in this country think. People don't complain about the covers of other magazines (i.e. cosmo, maxim, FHM) but this, to them, is obscene?!? Breastfeeding needs to be PROMOTED, not shamed. When are people going to realize what a perfectly natural thing breastfeeding is?
I saw a television segment on my local news about this very magazine cover and very few of the "people on the steet" comments were positive. In fact one of the women actually said that it was "immoral"!!! Having said that, I have never encountered any negativity myself when breastfeeding any of my children in public and our local mall has a room for moms with comfortable seating for breastfeeding. Honestly if you look at the photo it could just as easily be an elbow by the baby's face and that photo is far less suggestive than the covers of many of the magazines on newstands today. With all the research that has been done into the benefits for baby and mom I really don't know how people can be so against it.
I don't see anything wrong with it, but I nurse my daughter, so I may be biased :/
I think that America definetly has a sick mind when it comes to the human body, I was tempted to comment on the magazine sight about other parts of a womans body that were used for coitus, should the baby not be allowed there either? Will c-sections be considered the only decent way to have a baby, and any other method obscene?
It seems rediculus to me for the original use of the breasts to be debated like this. It is a disappointment that for being a so called advanced society we can be so ignorant and childish :(
I agree with the blogger, hopefully a more culturally divers generation will have more common sense.
I couldn't agree more with this whole blog. There is something seriously wrong with Americans when it's ok to view breasts as sex objects but disgusting to think of them as a food source. How perverted! Something in this country needs to change.
I think it's beautiful and I even posted that on the magazine's website (I subscribe to it).
I'm grabbing this one for the peds grand rounds if you don't mind.
Thinking breastfeeding is obscene is like thinking a carton of milk is pornography. Absolutely asinine.
Clark:
re: Ped grand Rounds
Be my guest. I'm honored!
Dr. P
I beleive brestfeeding to be a beautiful and natural thing. The cover of this magazine is tastfully done - but how could breastfeeding be untastefully done?
I beleive you are right in saying that our modern society is too focused on breasts being a sexual object, when first and foremost they are a tool for nursing mothers.
I am expecting my first child and I plan on breastfeeding whenver and wherever I may be. I do respect that some people may feel uncomfortable with this act (as this is today's society), so I will cover up if in a restaurant, or out in public, but I would never deny my child the right to feed naturally.
I have yet to realize how unequipped our society is for this, but I am sure that I will be amazed when I see a nursing station in a mall or restaurant as well.
I think the entire picture is so beautiful i saw it and said to my self...awww. but i want to be a neonatal nurse and deal with babies, Bf is needed, maybe not till there 4 like you see some kids but yes definitly its important.
I LOVED this picture - I saw it as nothing more than the beautiful bonding between a mother and her child - as well as the basic needs of the child (nutrition) being met.
I also enjoyed your post about the lack of support bfing moms receive from our culture - it's horrendous and I see it every day - luckily I believe things are slightly better here on the west coast (a few more hippies to speak out for the cause :) than it is in other parts of the country. I did find it difficult though when taking my son to public places - very few accomodated nursing mothers. I spent a good number of feedings in my car with a Boppy pillow! The stats you provided only support what I see happening.
As for the photo being offensive? I see more skin when I turn on the Academy Awards! And THAT, is NOT a beautiful thing :)
http://www.NaturalSkinCareSite.com
This is a beautiful picture. I think it's "immoral" that most people see my son's (and daughter previous)food as a sex object. Stop and think "How WAS I fed?" Do you even know? personally seeing someones thong peeking out of their ultra-low jeans is much grosser
I plan to breastfeed, but I will do it in private. I have no desire to see anyone BF in public. I think BF is great for your child, but there are places for privacy. I don't plan on changing a diaper in public either and this is natural, too. Respect those around you and be discrete.
I respect someone's desire to remain private. I do so, less or more, for cultural reasons.
But I object to it being something we feel the need to be private about. As has been said: women can walk around with just a triangle of fabric on each boob, and this is less offensive than a woman breastfeeding where the breast can hardly be seen?
And why is it something to struggle through, suffer through for that all important year, and not something that is a beautiful way to bond with your child? Probably because there isn't enough practical as well as cultural support for it.
In my opinion our colture has no respect for women or mothers. people want our breast to be looked at as sex objects and there not. its not even a question in other countries! I have a hard time with this because instead of knowing this is completely natural, and feeling comfortable with it, we have to teach our children that it is. I have four boys,and i want them to look at women with respect and not as sex symbols!
The cover of the magazine is something that should have been done long ago! I do not understand why society is so accepting of media where a woman exploits herself making adolescents feel badly of themselves but the cover of the woman is applauded. Now on this cover, a mother is simply breastfeeding her child. Which, is what God and nature created breasts for! Why is functionality so disgusting to so much of society? I do not understand why women who choose to breastfeed are looked down upon or shunned. It's a wonderful gift we are given to take care of our children! I had someone ask me when I was pregnant, "You are not going to be one of THOSE women who breastfeed in public are you?" I responded, "For one, why can't my child have their food in public when you can sit here in this restaurant and eat? And it's not like you haven't wanted to see these [breasts]before they were for function."
Its a wonderful gift. Any woman who's considering it, it was a wonderful experience and don't let society choose for you!
What is meant by "One of THOSE mothers..." is simply this: One of THOSE mothers who don't take into account everyone else's (the public's) sensibilities. Everyone has different feelings about BF, and regardless of whether or not you agree with it, you should respect individuals who feel uncomfortable when a woman is breastfeeding . There are already plenty of places in public (mall, office buildings, etc) that are suitable for discreet breastfeeding, and if I am in a situation where finding a quiet room or corner isn't possible, I at least pull a blanket over myself. I feel that there is a generation gap with this topic; older generations (my mother's) were brought up with a much more severe sense of modesty. However, just because breastfeeding is a completely natural and beautiful thing to do, it is not fair to force those views on those who feel differently. Many people make the argument: "It's a completely natural thing to do, so why can't I do it in public?" and the constantly repeated "If my baby has to eat, I'm going to feed him/her when he/she needs it!" To that, I say only this: Going to the bathroom is a completely natural thing to do; when you have to go, do you just go right where you are in public? I certainly hope not.
I totally agree with the person suggesting to be discreet. If you know that it could make others around you uncomfortable..why not throw a blanket over your shoulder or go with your baby to a private place. Bravo to you for giving this baby the milk it needs...but consider the feelings and comforts of those around you.
The mothers of breast fed babies should consider the comfort/discomfort of others. Just because you breast feed a baby does not make you a 'MADONNA'.
I think BF is a personal choice, and is not something that should be forced on mothers. Some mothers choose to BF and that's great, however others can't or choose not to, and that doesn't make them any less of a parent.
As for the cover...I have no problem with this image b/c it's appropaite to the subject matter of the magazine. However I do take issue w/ women breastfeeding their childern in some places. Restraunts are a perfect example. When I go out to eat with my husband the last thing I want to see is a child BF at the next table. While it is a perfectly natural thing, I don't see why people can't simply throw a blanket over their sholder when in public. You might have the right to BF, but I have the right to eating dinner with out being exposed to nudity.
Before I had children I may have been somewhat offended. With children and age, came maturity. I have two babies whom I breastfed. I am a very private person but did breastfeed in public. When and where my children needed to be fed, they got what they needed. I was however, very aware of my surroundings. Most men find the femal breast arousing, many people are offended by nudity and you can't control the world around you. Throwing a blanket over myself while breastfeeding was never inconvenient for me. I mean, I was holding a baby, it's not like I didn't have a blanket handy. The picture is lovely and as a mother, it moves me.
I love the picture. It reminds me
of the peaceful times I nursed my
babies. I'm a firm believer in
breast-feeding and I do understand
that it's a personal choice, but I
can't imagine a Mother not giving
this advantage to her baby. I am
VERY offended when women (and it
usually is women)say it's disgusting. I applaud the magazine
and compliment the photographer for
a beautiful photo, it's precious!
Kim
I just met a new friend- and she has just given birth to a beautiful baby boy.
While at lunch, she was quietly and unobtrusively breast-feeding her baby.
When I came to the table (it was a secluded spot at an outdoor restaurant)- she said she hoped that I didn't mind.
I replied, "Mind??
I think it's one of the beautiful, natural and MIRACULOUS things in the World-
Thanks, Melisa !
There will always be people out there that oppose public issues like this. They own that. We still own the right to breastfeed. We are still catergorized as "mammals" for a reason, right? I think some non bf-ers don't realize how considerate and hushhush a lot of bfeeders are on an everyday basis. Think of how many people out there who can't *afford* formula. If bfing is so unacceptable maybe they should lower the requirements to get on W.I.C.
Maybe we had to have Pamela Anderson's boob on the cover to make it "appropriate". LOL
I think breast feeding is good for mom and baby and i relize the baby has to be fed where ever they are but you can be descrete and not show everything you have i think that is offensivejust ploping everything out.
It's been almost 30 years since I breastfed my first of three children. I was at the beginning of a revolution in birth and feeding. (All three were home births as well.) Somehow I thought that my open-mindedness was shared by others. It was not. I realized before too long that we cannot force a thinking process to change when it is bent by media and the desire to keep things as they want them. Now I feel almost embarrassed, although I still gave my babies the affection, nourishment, vocal connection that made a bond between us. And from the beginning I let them know "I'm yours." while letting them know they are part of a bigger picture, namely husband and other family. I don't regret that for even an instant.
Beginning in 1971 through 1983 I successfully BF all six of my children. It was a time of discretion. I always had a blanket or something...and my poor babies were sweaty and hot and often tried to pull off the blanket! I would have thought that BY NOW we would be "over ourselves" and mature enough to handle this beautiful, natural and healthy activity. The fact that someone tried to relate using the restroom to BF indicates that some people still don't think of Bmilk as a food - but more of an excretement. Grow up America! If you feel a little queasy about someone breastfeeding their infant you need to consider your own psyche! signed, Disappointed with society after 30 years....
Of course breast-feeding is not obscene, and this magazine cover is wonderful. Sometimes as I've been discreetly breastfeeding my baby, people of both genders have approached to admire the baby, and I'm slightly taken aback, until I realize that they have NO IDEA that I'm nursing him. Their innocent comments include: "I guess he's tired/sleeping, huh?" or "If you're tired of holding him, I can hold him" or "Isn't he sweet, let's see his face". And I reply, "Uh, well, just wait a minute..." and I don't necessarily tell them what's going on!
Yeah, if we could see a famous model's breast exposed like that on Cosmo, then nobody would complain. But now I've thought of one complaint: most of the nursing tops are advertised in catalogs as "Sexy Nursing Top" which to me is incongruous. (sp?)
I think that the cover is beautiful and very well done. I wish that more mainstream media would show images like this so that hopefully it would become "normal" and there would be no debate around the issue.
My son is 11 months and he is breastfed. During the 1st few months I was discreet but for my benefit (I was weirdly modest about it all initially) not for others. As far as I'm concerned if someone has a problem seeing a mother breastfeeding mother then it's their problem, not mine and they need to search deep within themselves to determine why something so inherently natural seems disgusting or offensive to them.
I was fortunate to meet 2 other new BF moms after my son was born and we went to lunch, the mall, etc and BF at will and on demand as is normal. I even nursed my son in a restaurant once. No, I didn't "whip my boob out" but I did lay my son down on my lap, pick up my shirt and place him to my breast. I then continued to eat. As did everyone else around me.
I think it's appalling that not only is there little support and encouragement for BF moms but that some folks think it's "dirty" and needs to be hidden. I can't tell you how many times I wound up nursing my son in a dressing room stall (I avoid nasty bathrooms at all costs) or in my car because there are no places to sit down and actually feed your child. While some women are more comfortable then others with public nursing I suspect that most nursing moms would agree that a dedicated room with comfortable chairs in places like malls, etc would be welcome and most of us would use them.
why is this society so uptite and backward the breast was designed to feed babies that is why the breast has mamalary glands (e,g) milk glands come on people i was and was there when my friend needed me to feed her newborn when she could not in fact i volunteered to do the most beautiful act of friendship in the world so no breast-feeding is not obscene it is beautiful and natural
the magazine cover is beautiful. i pretty much agree with everyone else. BFing is as natural as giving birth! i BF my first 2 and will BF my third. yes i did it in public wherever i was. i did throw a blanket over us just to be discreet if i was in the mall or other very public place. i went to the bathroom ONCE with my first and swore i'd never do it again. i had to stand to feed her and all because i was afraid of offending someone. after i thought about it i realized bottle fed babies don't have to go to the bathroom to eat and i never see adults eating in the bathroom so WHY SHOULD MY BREASTFEEDING BABY?!?!?!?!?! i try not to be offensive but i sure am not going to go and hide to feed my baby either!
BF is a natural and beautiful thing. But it should be a special moment that a mother and baby share. Not mother, baby, and the public. No one wants to see a boob out while eating dinner or at the park. People should be descret and respect those around you. I plan on BF my baby, but in a way to not bother those around me. It's a natural thing but strangers do not need to see a womans breast just so she can feed. Would you pull your boob out in public if you weren't BF? NO? WHY NOT? IT's great that mothers still BF, just be discrete about it. Why bother everyone else?
Nothing wrong with BF. I do have to agree that there should be a time and place for BF (if possible). I say if possible because i've heard my nephew cry when he doesnt get his bottle.
As to why breast are more accepted as sex symbols rather than nourishment source, it's pretty simple. You can sell sex, but good luck selling nature. If someone figures out how to market BF as a business model, then you will see it more widely accepted.
As previously mentioned, why is it that women are the ones that are so critical of breastfeeding in public? I know you can make a crack about men being pervs, but I really don't think they care.
Reading all the blogs above, it seems that it comes down to 'functionality'. Hmmm, let's think about that. Most everyone above is of the opinion that there is nothing wrong with displaying your body parts in public on the basis of 'functionality'. Well... a penis has a function, but you don't see people 'doing what comes 'naturally' in public. Nor do we see urinating in public - which is also a natural function. Why? Because it's considered a private part of the body. There is nothing wrong in breastfeeding. I just don't care to see a woman whipping out her breast while I'm having a conversation with her!! Come on ladies! Let's face it - if you weren't breastfeeding you wouldn't just whip out a breast for viewing now would you? (Oh.. and by the way - after your breasts deflate after breastfeeding.... you go right back to hiding them cause they're just saggy sacks after that and you're not so very proud of them.. so please ... don't be such exhibitionists under the guise of 'I'm just doing something sooo natural' gimme a break.
A Woman sick to death of boob displays in public....
Man speaking here. I do agree that there is a need for breastfeeding. Economically speaking, we've saved thousands of dollars avoiding the formula milks with our past five children. Most people above have referred to the back in time theory when it was normal to do so. Mind you, there were no malls to contend with back then, nor were there literally thousands of people passing by. There were no bottle formulas either. Point taken above though that natural body functions are not necessarily acceptable in public places. Just because your body functions in a certain way, it does not give you license to display it in public. Five children later, my wife is discreet and tasteful while breastfeeding. I believe we are past the point of 'jungle feeding'.
Be as open as you want in the privacy of your own home, but be mindful of decorum in public. If we bend the rules for some, who knows, perhaps men will start masturbating in public, after all - it's perfectly natural.
It just makes me feel ill when I think about the people writting in to this magazine to complain about the picture. I GIVE PROPS TO THE EDITOR, THE PHOTOGRAPHER AND WHOEVER ELSE HELPED IN THIS SHOT.. Can you belive that people would complain about this. Did they even read the magazine. Perhaps they dont read because if they did they would know GOD created these wonder self refilling feeding machines for a reason. The benifits out way whatever uncomfortable feeling you may have, however difficult it may seem at first, and no matter how scared you are. Our society is so FOCUSED on SELF we forget that we are all here thanks to our parents. Granted we all dont have the same up bringing and some dont have children for that reason and Im sorry for that. I just feel that if you are a mom BREAST FEED IF YOU CAN!!! You will be changed forever. You learn to work on your babies time and not yours therefore teaching you to be selfless therefore being that patient mother that loves here children.. If you cant breast feed hold your babies while they eat hold there fingers and rub there heads give them little kisses. Lets show the love that children now days seem to lack
I've been reading all the comments and at first I was happy to hear all the positive comments. There was one though that was a back-handed compliment. The writer said how they think its great that mother's BF but don't want to see a mother do it in a restaurant while eating w/ husband. Why should women hide in a corner or have their baby under a blanket to feed it. I think not only the sexist men but even women are forgetting the purpose of breasts. I BF my son & still do at 16 mos and although I was discreet w/ my public BFing, I think comments like the previous one made me feel self concious in public. BUT I DID IT ANYWAY! For a woman to BF in public, it takes a lot of courage and we already go to endless efforts to be discreet. I think its just dissapointing that even other women feel we should cover up b/c they feel insecure/uncomfortable being next to a mother feeding her baby.
The picture on the cover of the mag is fine and the media should show more of it so the public can remember what breast are really for.
Oh & there was another negative BF comment by a man who compared a penis to a breast. I think that person needs to grow up. He probably is so uptight b/c he wasn't breastfed.
Ok After reading this I am glad that most were "OK" with breastfeeding! I am BF #3 baby, but I'm at home full time with this one- I dealt with the pumping- (finding a conference room and feeling guilty for taking a break to pump while others took endless smoke breaks- somehow that's so socially acceptable) with the other 2 kids.
Some people mentioned BF in a restaurant, I have fed the baby in a restaurant, and even my husband didn't realize I had started. It's not like people stand up strip down and announce over the PA I'm going to BF a child now at table 9. The baby needs to eat, and if you want to leave the house at all you have to get ready for some of the creative ideas... It is so gross to do it in a public bathroom- and if they do have a chair- it's right in the doorway so you have people walking in and staring. What about putting a nice room in the grocery store- I have had to rush through the grocery store and feed the baby in the parking lot- If that store had a place I could stop and feed a little- I could get back to shopping. I hope people will get over themselves and please overlook a BF mother and stare down the teenagers in their scandalous clothes- their moms probably didn't BF and have no idea about modesty!
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