"Developmental Delay" or "Mentally Retarded?" Getting Off the Euphemism Treadmill
It was an all too common story in our School Achievement Clinic: 12-year-old Bertie was doing terribly in school and had just failed 6th grade. Her parents believed it was because she was "lazy" and because the school had lousy teachers.
On formal testing, Bertie's IQ was in the high 60s, meaning she had scored in the "mild mental retardation" range. So it was no mystery to us why school was so difficult for her.
But it was to her parents. "Mentally retarded!?" they exclaimed, incredulously and angrily. "We have known she was developmentally delayed since she was 3 years old, but no one ever said anything about mental retardation."
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This is one example of a pediatric euphemism that was taken too far and used for too long, which then created misunderstandings, inappropriate expectations, and insufficient therapeutic services. Mea culpa.
I know why this happens so often. Nice guys and compassionate to a fault, we pediatric providers hate to give bad news and avoid it when we can. We want to keep hope alive (even if it isn't particularly justified) and, at the same time, avoid our own discomfort with not being able to cure a problem. We think we are doing the family a favor: doesn't "developmentally delayed" sound so much more hopeful, so much nicer, than "mentally retarded?"
One reason is that "developmental delay" implies that the child's developmental functioning may some day catch up to her peers. After all, a delayed train eventually reaches its destination. But after a certain point - different for every child - it becomes clear that she will not catch up, that her intelligence will always lag well behind her peers, that she is, in fact, retarded and will remain so, no matter what her educational program provides.
By avoiding straight talk, by sugarcoating what is really going on, we pediatricians don't allow parents to understand their child's true potential. How are they then to provide the best possible environment to meet the unnamed developmental challenges?
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A euphemism is "a word or expression intended to be less offensive and troubling to the listener." In some cases - such as pet words for a child's genitals or excretions - it's a way to avoid a word that is embarrassing to the speaker. I think this sort of thing is harmless and most families have funny pet names for their child's wee-wee and poop. No harm, no foul.
But other times, a euphemism is meant to lessen the emotional hurtfulness inherent to some terms. That's why we pediatricians have now been advised not call kids "obese" but "overweight" or "at-risk for overweight." That's another reason we prefer "developmentally delayed" to "mentally retarded."
Why? What's so bad about the word "obese?" Well, people have negative associations with "obesity," so it's felt that a kinder, gentler word will dispel that hurtful emotional baggage and perhaps even serve to change our attitudes towards obese kids. Thus is born "political correctness," wherein absurd word acrobatics are mandated, that we might soften our prejudices.
One slight problem: it doesn't work. The negative connotations of a word come not from the word itself, but from people's pre-existing prejudices. Changing the offending words is a stop-gap non-solution, because eventually the politically correct euphemism acquires the same negative baggage as the old word. This called the "euphemism treadmill" by Steven Pinker, the neuropsychologist. (A patient of mine was recently ridiculed by a bunch of kids on the playground who pointed and hollered, "Overweight! Overweight!" Do you think he now experiences the word "overweight" as kinder than "obese?").
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Nowhere has the euphemism treadmill been clearer - and more heartbreakingly ineffective - than the terms we use for people with developmental disabilities. In 1900, the terms "imbecile," "moron," and "idiot" were introduced to define a person's developmental level. These terms were seen as a great advance in their scientific precision. But, since our society doesn't take kindly to folks with disabilities whatever we call them, these terms - initially devoid of offense -- became insults and had to be dropped.
New terms came and went ("lame," "crippled," "handicapped," "disabled," "retarded") on the treadmill, until someone decided that even implying a problem was dehumanizing. Thus the term "differently-abled" was created. Aside from its absurdity and its insensitive trivialization of what is really a hard road to hoe on many levels, the politically correct crowd actually thinks such a term will improve our attitudes. Would that it were so easy to do so. I shudder to think what term will come next, after "differently-abled" becomes an unacceptable insult.
Another problem with euphemisms is that they amplify the undue negative power of the old, banished term. If "retarded" is now an unmentionable insult, it wounds even more when hurled at your child.
Finally, euphemisms are confusing for kids. So your dead doggie "went to sleep." That's so much less harsh than "died", right? But explain that to the five-year-old who then is afraid to fall asleep, lest she meet the same fate as Rover.
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Go ahead and use euphemisms all you want with your kids. But, remember, when the stakes are high, avoiding explaining to your child about hurtful words only furthers their power to hurt. In that case, it's OK to embrace simple, direct, unambiguous terms, to teach your vulnerable child that "sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me," and to teach all your kids that wounding others with bad words is unacceptable.
But don't count on clear, unambiguous words from pediatricians, because we are forever developmentally delayed at not always giving you the unvarnished truth. Excuse me, I'd like to write more, but I have to go perform a not entirely benign procedure on a consumer.
Related Topics: Technorati Tags: euphemism, mental retardation, obesity, pediatrics, health and wellness
56 Comments:
The world is being P.C.ed to death.Nuff said.
My pediatrician always insisted we use anatomically correct terms with our kids for their body parts, which we have. But now I'm wondering why, and if we've missed some fun in not having "pet" family names, as I did when I was a kid.
I think you're being unfair to pediatricians who are just trying to give parents hope.
False hope will only lead to heartbreak later.
It may be easier for the Doctor to skirt the bad news and give the parents false hope, however, lying about or sugar-coating a medical fact does not change it.
I know the feeling of betrayal when a hopeful diagnosis turns out to be a Doctor's "easy way out" lie. It does NOT soften the blow of the truth.
Like it or not we all live in the real world, not some lovely La-La Land where everything will be ok.
Was Albert Einstein with his low IQ when he was young and in school, retarded or developmentally delayed?
When a doctor gives the parents false hopes that their child will eventually catch up to their peers, I believe is a betrayal, since it will be more beneficial to know the facts from early development so parents can find the resources to help them.
I hate it when I bring in my sick child and my pediatrician tells me "I can't find anything too terribly wrong today." What am supposed to make of that?
Albert Einstein did not have a "low IQ when he was young and in school." He did have delayed development of speech as a young child, but then was actually a top student in elementary school.
It's possible that a pediatrician would mis-diagnose him as "mentally retarded" (or using today's PC term "developmentally delayed".) But what's the worse scenario: young Einstein getting (unnecessary) speech therapy at a young age, or a mentally retarded child NOT getting needed help because his or her parents hope that their child is another Einstein?
And finally, if we start using the term "developmental delay" for "mental retardation", what term shall we use for what used be called developmental delay? You know, starting to walk or talk at a later than usual age - but then catching up with peers.
Let me clarify:
"Developmental delay" is a perfectly fine, accurate, simple term for young kids whose development lags behind. There's no reason not to use it.
It's just when the writing is on the wall - say around age 7 or 8 years - that it is not just a delay, but will always be present, that it becomes an unhelpful and misleading euphemism, one we pediatricians seem reluctant to correct.
-Dr. P
I have a 21 yr. old daughter who we say is "mentally handicapped."
Her pediatrician was persistant from birth that something wasn't right and after 2 long years she was labeled with a syndrome. Over these many years we never were misguided on what her limitations could or wouldn't be. We always just accepted her for who she is and we are always very proud of any new accomplishments she has done. I feel that doctor's should be honest in the beginning with letting parents know there is a problem with their child's learning but also giving them the hope of an individual who could become more than anyone might expect.
I really hate it when people insist on using the term Developmental Delay as a subsitute for (gasp) Mental Retardation. I do not understand why that some people insist on sugar-coating everything. Sugar-coating rots your teeth (and your mind as well).
Sounts to me that Developmentally delayed should be used as the term until they are 8 or 9 then use the terms mentally retared if it fits right? Is there a chance a toddler around two who is globally delayed can catch up?
You are comparing apples to oranges. Get it through your thick skull, Developmentally Delay DOES NOT mean (gasp) Mental Retardation. Just because a 10 year-old who develops normally yet falls behind in some areas like math does not mean the kid is mentallay retarded.
gasp well dont get frustrated...I have a 2 year old who is developmentally delayed aprox 1 year. we will not know how intellectually delayed (mentally retarded) if at all he will be, this is the latest dr advice I have received. developmentally delayed like my son may very well mean (gasp) he could be mentally retarded and we wont know this til he is about school age or 10 maybe.
My child has always been developmentally delayed, he is now 9 and is still behind. I had NO idea this could fall into possible Mental Retardation, I must say this has floored me to hear this. No one has EVER mentioned MR to me. I could cry
southerngirly44@yahoo.com
Like I said, it really irks me when people use the PC term Developmental Delay as a subsitute for (gasp) Mental Retardation. Does anyone think that any good comes out of using a term that was meant for NORMAL kids as a PC term? All it ever does is create misuderstandings and insufficent theraputic services. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions and the PC treadmill is one of them. That would be the equivalent of your MD telling you that your child has a "not quite benign" growth and adopts the "wait-and-see" principle. According to PC logic, we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings(telling you your child has Leukemia), sugarcoating and keeping your head in the sand will make it all better. Looks like your child won't need chemo after all.
Please don't use Developmental Delay as a subsitute for (gasp) MR unless you want to create MORE misuderstandings. The previous posts about young Einstein says it all.
This is for Mrs. Sounds-to-me-that-deveopmentally-delayed-should-be-used-as-the-term-until-they-are-8-or-9-then-use-the-term-mentally-retarded-if-it-fits-right...
Using the term developmentally delayed as a subsitute for(gasp) mental retardation is like using the term "visually impared" as a subsitute for blindness. What I hate about "visually impared" is that it implies that people with myopia and astigmatism are blind, when they need glasses. Same thing with "developmental delay", it implies that people like young Einstein are (gasp) MR WHEN THEY ARE NOT. Enough with the sugarcoating already.
this is for the heavy breather. How do you know that a child that is 2 wont catch up that is diagnosed with developmental delay? so your saying he should be called mentally retarded at 2?
At the risk of sinking your battleship, yes.
Whoever diagnosed your child with "developmental delay" is doing you a great disservice. The term "developmental delay" implies that your child will catch up: the problem with that term is that an MR child who is labeled with "developmental delay" will miss out on needed help such as speech and occupational therapy. It is better to learn the facts sooner rather and get necessary help for your child rather than keeping your head in the sand and finding out that "developmental delay" is the M.D.'s easy way out lie.
Peace.
I would just like to say that finding out your child has a disability of any kind is no fun no matter what the diagnosis. But hope is a magical thing, that being said, my son was diagnosed at two with fragile-x syndrome...I then was told that he was educable and that his I.Q. was "borderline". That was 18 years ago and now he is functioning at about a 15 year old level. With all the intervention available and technology being used, progress is simply amazing. I now work with mentally challenged adults with a vast array of disabilities and medical needs and many other mental issues as well, and it is my job to run certain goals and programs set in place for each person to try and reach an ultimate end goal of independence. What is most important to me in my job is not to question whether or not I think this is an attainable goal for them, but to always give them that option or choice or opportunity to improve their quality of life whether I believe they can acheive it or not. This is what gives me hope that having a label such as mentally retarded or "developmentally delayed" or "slow" does not really matter. My job is very rewarding and I feel that until you are exposed to working with these wonderful individuals, or have a child afflicted in some way, or work in this field, no matter what they have been labeled with they are human beings in need of patience and much love. I feel that however the doctor can gently give this kind of information to a parent is a touchy subject, but really the responsibility falls to the parent to research and help their child get the necessary intervention and tools their child may need to be successful.
I'm wondering about whether there's a difference between motor delay and mental delay - my 13 month old shows significant motor delay, but seems to be all right intellectually. Will her current motor delay (she sits but makes no attempt at standing) turn into a later diagnosis of mental retardation? What sort of specialist should see her?
Is "mental delay" even a word?
I doubt that your child is MR but I think somthing could be wrong with her legs? Have you told your MD this? He/she could direct you to neurologist.
Just offering some advice.
You're right of course, mentally delayed isn't what I meant. Worry can do terrible things to a person. We've been to several doctors - pediatricians, physical therapists, and now a clinic that specializes in development delay and educational issues. We've done an MRI (normal)and are getting ready to do a chromosome analysis. Wish us luck!
My daughter is in need of special classes and other help we waited so long because she is "delayed" and we went through 3 doctors before we found a doctor that addressed the issue and spoke up! Aren't they supposed to help us help our children? Be kind to all of us and let us know the moment you know something. I know it's hard but it's worse when we find out too late!
To the worried mom:
There *can* be significant motor delay without MR. It happens for lots of reasons, actually, with idiopathic CP and various genetic syndromes being among them.
Keep advocating for your child! Early intervention is key. If something doesn't seem right, keep asking questions. Demand evaluations and referrals. See an OT who knows something about sensory integration disorder and a PT who has seen lots of kids. See a pediatrician who listens, really listens, to your concerns and observations. Find another parent to talk to who has been there or is now in a similar situation, as even your closest friends will (unknowingly) say things that hurt, and avoid internet chats with folks who don't know your kid.
The path is difficult, to be sure, but you are not alone.
"Early intervention is the key..." Amen =)
my child is six with a developmental delay.we all wonder whats going to happen with her delays .with the world we live in i wouldnt want to label her with mr till i was sure that we have given her every opportunity.are world seems to handle developmental delay a whole lot better then mr.i feel these familys are already having to walk through a world that doesnt except differnt even through we pretend that we except different .the sad reality is my sweet child chould grow up and make a differece in this world but we have already came across adults that want to judge before they even knew the facts are we sure that we are protecting the familys from the idea of mr or helping the world be more accepting while we give these kids the chance to grow with the world helping instead of judgeing.
i
Good God, I really HATE it when people insist on using "developmental delay" as a subsitute for "mental retardation". To the previous post, pick another euphemism if you would like, but please, don't use the term that was meant for normal kids. Kids with mental retardation and kids who will catch up shouldn't be in the same category,which makes NO sense. Plus I fear that your child could be missing out on needed help, b/c you insist that "he'll catch up". False hope leads to heartbreak later. This reminds me of this one kid who was labeled "developmental delay"(this was the guy who reached his infant milestones early) This has caused him a ton of grief. Moral of the story, peole who are MR should not be lumped in the same category as normal kids, my dear.
"are we sure that we are protecting the familys from the idea of mr or helping the world be more accepting while we give these kids the chance to grow with the world helping instead of judgeing(was that a question)"
I don't think that you're doing anyone any favors. The terms (cretin, moron, imbecile, and idiot were old terms for people with MR) came and went. Changing terms has been done MANY times in the past, and it didn't do squat about changing people's views about people who are MR. Some things will never change.
Did you read Martha Beck's book, Expecting Adam? You should really read it. Judging by your post(this is not a personal attack), it sounds like you would rather keep your head in the sand rather than accept his condition. Your child has MR and he still deserves to be treated like a decent human being(regardless of his MR).
Peace out(and read that book!)
"Judging by your post(this is not a personal attack), it sounds like you would rather keep your head in the sand rather than accept his(I meant HER condition)" condition."
and "Your child has MR and he still deserves to be treated like a decent human being(regardless of his MR)". Sorry about that error. I meant "regarless of her MR."
My 13 month old doesn't crawl, he was born with an extra thumb(which was removed in November), has had an array comparative genomic hybridization study which is supposedly a new test that can detect very tiny deletions and duplications which returned normal, an MRI that returned normal, and has been getting PT and OT since 4 months of age. My wife was diagnosed with Lyme's Disease last month and the rest of the family are getting tested tomorrow. My wife's doc said that the Lyme's can cause developmental delays if the mother is pregnant and infected at the same time which they think may have been the case but our pediatrician said that wouldn't be possible. My son only has motor delays. I just found out that there is such a thing as developmental pediatricians and also found out that they all have a 6 month wait for appointments which seems ironic for developmental pediatrics. No one seems to know what's causing the motor delays they just say to continue with pt and ot which we do for 2+ hours/day. Any suggestions? I just want to make sure my son's getting all the help he can. I looked up websters definition of mental retardation and it said that mr is manifested by delayed or abnormal development, by learning difficulties, and by problems in social adjustment. Does this mean that all of these symptoms have to be present to be mr or just some? Does it sound like my son is mr and if so what is the best course of action at this point?
My 13 month old doesn't crawl, he was born with an extra thumb(which was removed in November), has had an array comparative genomic hybridization study which is supposedly a new test that can detect very tiny deletions and duplications which returned normal, an MRI that returned normal, and has been getting PT and OT since 4 months of age. My wife was diagnosed with Lyme's Disease last month and the rest of the family are getting tested tomorrow. My wife's doc said that the Lyme's can cause developmental delays if the mother is pregnant and infected at the same time which they think may have been the case but our pediatrician said that wouldn't be possible. My son only has motor delays. I just found out that there is such a thing as developmental pediatricians and also found out that they all have a 6 month wait for appointments which seems ironic for developmental pediatrics. No one seems to know what's causing the motor delays they just say to continue with pt and ot which we do for 2+ hours/day. Any suggestions? I just want to make sure my son's getting all the help he can. I looked up websters definition of mental retardation and it said that mr is manifested by delayed or abnormal development, by learning difficulties, and by problems in social adjustment. Does this mean that all of these symptoms have to be present to be mr or just some? Does it sound like my son is mr and if so what is the best course of action at this point?
My two cents: Motor delay and mental retardation are separate. You're doing the right thing(OT and PT), early intervention is the key:) I highly doubt that he is MR. All of the symptoms of MR has to be present, not just some.
As a mother of two children with delay issues, a son that is 12 years old that has dysgraphia and a daughter that is 10 years old that was just dx this February with mild mental retardation, the only advice I can give to parent who are in the same position is to keep fight for your children. Don't let the school pass them by by telling you that everything is fine. Insist on knowing, ask all the questions,and be there. If you get no results find you a good doctor that understands how you feel about your children's needs and don't let up. Know your rights when it comes to the school system and what you can do with your children. I have found a great doctor who will help me fight the school if need be and get the services my kids need. My daughter will soon be tested for Sturge-Weber Syndrome because of him. One last note, above all else tell your kids everyday that you love them and that they are special just the way they are.
Well, I don't know how to address you as individuals since you all seem to be named "anonymous." Anyway, there is one poster here who, it seems to me, is taking it upon himself or herself to diagnose people's children with MR based on their posts here. That seems a little silly to me.
My son is 4-1/2, and people have also used the "develpmental delay" term with him. I think it would be helpful for us as parents if there were a professional who could actually put a label on what is going on with him, and if the label were MR, at least we would know what to expect. (Which was, I believe, the point of the original article that we are all responding to.) But, if he is not in fact "mentally retarded," I do not want that label put on him. A mis-diagnosis would be just as harmful as no diagnosis, wouldn't it?
The person who suggested that the term "developmentally delayed" should be used until age 8 or 9, or until mental retardation has been actually diagnosed by a doctor (as opposed to an anonymous poster on the internet) seems right on, to me. What is wrong with hoping for the best until you find out differently, from a professional?
What is wrong with hoping for the best until you find out differently, from a professional?
False hope leads to heartbreak. I believe that it is benefical to learn the facts sooner rather than find out that a hopeful diagnosis is the MDs easy way out lie. Mrs.Sounds to me that developmentally delayed should be used as the term until 8 or 9 makes no logical sense. She sounds like a classic case of hoping against hope that her child will be another Einstein. This reminds me of the last poster about the kid who was labeled "developmentally delayed". Even though he reached his infant milestones early, he thought he was MR and caused him a ton of grief. Normal children and MR children shouldn't be put in the same category, ever. "What's worse, Einstein getting unnecessary speech therapy at a young age or an MR child NOT getting needed help b/c his parents hope he'll be another einstein."-Stepan is right on!
So you only know your hope was "false" after a doctor has given you a diagnosis, but what if you can't find a doctor or other professional to give you a diagnosis? Of course you keep pressing on and keep searching for answers. And of course, in the meantime, you get for your child the kind of intervention that seems correct, even without knowing the diagnosis.
I guess that's why some people give you the BS answer, Developmentally delayed before being sent on your merry way. Slapping on a label such as "Developmentally delayed" is basically the same as doing nothing. Plus slapping on "developmentally delayed" makes everything peachy, doesn't it?
That's my opinion.
i agree with the last poster, developmentally delayed is nothing but an unhelpful euphemism
some pc weirdo wants developmental delay in place of mental retardation and i find it confusing. i liked the poster that said replacing mr with develop mental delay is like using visually impared as a pc term for blindness and what that person didnt like about visually im pared is that it implies that people with myopia and astigmatisim are blind.
i have 2 questions for Dr. P (i know he's on vacation) what term(before developmental delay) did they have for kids whose development lags behind(but catches up) and what term did they have before someone is diagnosed with "MR"?
-fat guy on the internet.
Unfortunately, with DD and MR, the doctor can't just do a culture, like with strep throat, and tell you what "disease" your child has. A child's brain is still developing. Even an IQ test can be inconclusive, because a child may not have sub-normal intelligence, it may be that they just didn't feel like cooperating that day. I agree that using DD as a euphemism for MR is counterproductive. But there are actually children who have DD, and are not MR. Developmental Delay is an actual condition, in which you would be able to see the child gradually catching up with his peers. But that doesn't happen over night, you can't give a round of antibiotics and "cure" the child of DD, you have to watch and wait. So, if the child is not progressing after a week, would you automatically diagnose MR? A month? A year? 5 years? At what point can you be reasonably certain that your child is not just developmentally delayed, but is in fact mentally retarded?
What difference does it make? How would a diagnosis of mental retardation change the kind of special intervention a child would receive in preschool or school? Besides not wanting parents to be in denial, what does it matter?
It might be helpful for some of you to re-read Dr. Parker's post dated 7-23-2007. The age he said there was 7 or 8; when you might need to accept that your child is not just DD. In his original article, he said that this point of realization would be different for every child.
"I agree that using DD as a euphemism for MR is counterproductive. But there are actually children who have DD, and are not MR" Right on!
I know a guy who was labeled DD and is NOT MR.
-badbunny
Some of you must be insane. I am going through the whole developmental delay thing, and I certainly don't think my daughter is MR. She is as smart as can be, totally at her 2 year old age level for all things except speech. She was late to walk, and does have some balance issues, but she was also born 6 weeks early. So according to one of the many anonymous, I shoud just throw in the towel and accept she is mentally retarded? As for using the euphimism "dd" instead of what you insist should be MR, actually DD kids to get all kind of services such as OT, PT and Speech therapy. That is if you have proactive parents and pediatricians who make sure there children get the services that are offered REGARDLESS of your insurance etc. There are federally funded Early Start programs in every state. If you were to know anything about it, you actually come up with a plan for your child, goals to reach, and if it's not working you come to have more realistic expectations about your child. A developmental delay can be a real thing, not just mental retardation. My daughter had a normal MRI and every other test she has had come back normal, so I refuse to believe at this point that she is RETARDED even though you do. What a sad, negative world you must live in anonymous, one and all......
Wendy,
I have a problem with people (Mrs. sounds-to-me-that.... and the other pc weirdos) who insist that MR should be replaced with DD, and NO your child is not MR. I know plenty of people who are labeled DD and are not MR.
-some anonymous weirdo
does he ever shut up?...
To:some anonymous weirdo and who ever else keeps making all of the sarcastic, negative remarks in this blog...shut up! Since I don't know who's who because everyone's anonymous, I'm not sure if you have a child w/dd or mr or not. I am a nurse w/a son dx w/dd who also has motor sensory delay amongst other problems. My child is not "normal" but neither is he "mentally retarded", not that it matters anyway. I would still love him just the same. Besides that-a child does not have to be dx w/mr to get help. My child was dx w/dd @ 9mos and was immediately started on pt, ot, and later st. I don't agree w/sugar-coating a pt's dx. I think docs should be up front about a pt's dx and all of their options. There is absolutely nothing wrong with hoping for the best for your child. As far as the person w/your head in the sand, I totally understand how you feel. I've spent many nights crying and worrying about my child and knowing how cruel people are. We are parents who only want the best for our children. It's hard to watch them struggle and worry about what the future may hold. People w/sarcastic remarks who try to dx your child or tell you what you "should do" or how you should "think or feel" don't exactly help matters. Just be sure to stay on top of the docs/get 2nd opinions if necessary and regardless if they are retarded or developmentally delayed, it's no excuse to just sit on your butt! I don't believe in the wait and see attitude. Get therapy started and just roll w/it. Don't overexpect, but don't underexpect either.
anonymous weirdo again...
I'm going to say this once-I hate it when MR is replaced by DD. For example, on Mystery Diagnosis they were mentioning "Down Syndrome, which causes developmental delay....." WTF were they thinking?!! I STRONGLY believe that using DD as a euemphism for MR is beyond counterproductive, not all people who are dx w/DD are MR. Plus, I know a guy who found out who was dx with "DD" and it caused him A LOT of grief b/c he thought he was MR.
The PC treadmill is confusing as hell.
i am a 23 yr old mother of a 3 yr old toddler. a couple weeks ago i took my son to his 3 yr check up and i was in there for 2 hrs with 2pediatricians explaining to me that they suspect that my son is developmentally delayed.
they sent me to the lab to get bloodwork done on him to test for fragile x. then she sent me home with a letter adressed to the nearest elem school to see if he can be enrolled in headstart for kids with mental dissabilities.
i have to say that i'm shocked to learn this of my son, but am willing to take all necessary steps into getting him ready for pre-school.
he has an evaluation coming up later this month to see exactly where he stands according to the therapist. then in 2 months we will be headed back to his pediatrician to learn of his fragile x bloodwork results.
i'm just a lil overwhelmed with all this because he "looks" like a normal trouble making 3 yr old! any answers, suggestions, comments?
I have a 2 1/2 yr old son who was diagnosed with DD at 9 months. He is now diagnosed with Autistic Disorder, I don't really think he is in my heart but he is getting all of the early intervention possible. I remind my self everyday hand in there things could be so much worse. Son is progressing everyday, he is about a year behind, be strong and ask for as much OT, PT, ST as possible and make sure he gets all the services provided now. keep your head up they change so much and learn so much
My son was considered developmentally delayed. He was in speech class in 1st grade and every class with special help. When he as 14 years old he was diagnosed with adjustment disorders, and also borderline mentally retarded. A 79 on the scale. He is now 19 years old. He is attending a junior college but today I received a letter of academic suspension due to GPA of 1.6. To me it is an achievement he even graduated high school with a regular HS diploma because, everyone from 6th grade on teachers, councelors, said he needed to get a GED. But, he didn't want to and he completed. It is very distressing that he was not diagnosed earlier. and although I did all that I could do knowing what I knew at the time. It is so terrible watching the son you love struggle with everything and you as his mother wants to just help him achieve like all the normal kids. I guess I just needed to vent my feelings and cry my tears so that I am angry enough to keep pushing him to achieve. I love him so very much. He is the my whole heart. and although he is 19 who's mental age is 15, and everyday my challege and his gets worse. I will press on and so will he to accomplish all we can together for him.
Finally a real doctor... I have a 4yr old recently diagnosed w/ the fragile x syndrome and still i have neurologists and specialists telling me "he's only developmentally delayed, and depending on the severity..." i'm hoping to meet w/ a geneticist, maybe i'll finally get some straight talk. Just explain what he has and teach me how to help him, that's what i'm hoping for.Thank you Dr. P
I suppose the preference of term that is used will be one that is understood differently- depending upon who you are in the situation (the parent of a child w/ the diagnosis.....or the parent of a child who is not)...and even with that said, the preference will still vary depending upon what type of individual we are. I can see how everyone would prefer different approaches to the 'news'...some people go through life prefering the straight facts so they can get down to business....some like softer introductions (you have to admit it is difficult to digest)however.....I tend to agree with the 'call it what it is' approach...believing that it put's the facts on the table (which is important to be a strong advocate.) This is not to say that the medical professional could not offer several other psuedonames along with the harsh diagnosis, explaining to the parent that 'these may be other names you can use or will hear' ...and along with that, I feel that in addition to the more blunt terms...you can decrease this insensitive approach (as some may feel it is) by supporting a follow up conversation with ways to promote positive advocacy for the parents- to approach the disorder/syndrome/diagnosis with just as promising opportunities for support and information...the same as the intentions for using the more 'softer and positive' label and terminology?!
hello everyone mu name is angela and my ex-husband took our six year old daughter to the doctor today and she was labled with having developmental delay and went to this site to see if i could find some helpful information and i would just like too leave this "whose report are you going to believe, I will believe the report of the Lord,if you have faith as a grain of a mustard seed you can say to this mountain be thou remove and be cast into the sea and don't doubt in your heart it shall obey you,do what you can and leave the rest up to GOD!!!!!!!God bless you all
Anyone can raise a normal child feel blessed youv'e been choosen to raise someone different or are we the different ones.
Never give up and smile as my 8 yr old dd child says
I write risk management plans for people with disabilities who live in adult foster care settings. I have found that families of these individuals prefer I use the term "developmentally disabled" rather than "mentally retarded". I agree with the author that using "developmentally delayed" is misleading to families/guardians and is detrimental to the effort of seeking assistance and support for the individual involved. It absolutely hurts more to have inadequate care and resources than to hear a term that has a negative "feel" to it.
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