PROJECT GOOD HEART: Teaching Your Kids the True Spirit of the Holidays
-775578.JPG)
Somehow, not only Christmas, but all year through,The joy that you give to others is the joy that comes back to you.
And the more you spend in blessing the poor and lonely and sad,
The more of the heart's possessing returns to you glad.
- John Greenleaf Whittier
* * * *
In this 2007 holiday season the average American consumer plans to spend $816 on gifts (that's about $200 billion dollars nationally).* And your kids are, of course, excited to be the beneficiaries of this windfall and get a boatload of presents, which is -- let's face it -- pretty much the meaning of Christmas and Chanukah for most of them (and us).I'm no Grinch, but what if each of us were to donate to charity a mere 1% of our intended expenditures? That would amount to $2 billion dollars. And what might that teach our kids?
That's why I'd like to encourage you to sign on to our PROJECT GOOD HEART, in which you donate to a charity (of your child's choice) the money that you would have spent on one of his/her presents.
* * *
Here's how PROJECT GOOD HEART works:
- Explain to your kids (over the age of 5-6 years or so) that instead of one gift you would have given them, they are to chose a charity to donate whatever that present would have cost.
- Talk about the reasons charities exist and why empathy towards people less fortunate is a family value ("Remember when we saw those people on TV who lost their homes?").
- Discuss with them the various kinds of charities and how they help those less advantaged in many ways.**
- Ask them what kind of help they would like to give: for food? shelter? medicine? toys? books? For kids their age? needy families? victims of disasters or war? the poor? endangered animals? the environment?
- Encourage them to put themselves in another's shoes: "If our family was unlucky and lost a lot of the things we now have or we were victims of a storm or a war, how would you want others to help us?"
- Guide the discussion: "Sure, Billy, buying a lot of Twinkies for a homeless family is a great idea and would make them happy for a short minute, but can you think of other ways to help them?"
- But, remember, in the end, it's their donation and their charity. Let them choose.
- On Christmas or Chanukah, give them a Project Good Heart card (you can print the logo above) that says, "X dollars donated by Billy to the ABC charity, where it will be used to ___. Thanks, Billy!"
* * *
Perhaps, one day, when the XBox is rusting in the basement, these will endure as the gifts your children best remember and appreciate as having taught them the true spirit of the holidays.
The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.
- Hada Bejar
HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM DR. P
- Hada Bejar
HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM DR. P
* * * *
PROJECT GOOD HEART logo by my colleague, friend and collaborator on PROJECT GOOD HEART, Jack Maypole, MD.
* From the National Retail Federation's 2007 Holiday Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey
** If you'd like some information and guidance on worthwhile charities, here are some good web sites to guide your discussion and help make a choice:
- The American Institute of Philanthropy Charity Watch
- Changing The Present: Changing the World, One Gift at a Time
- JustGive.Org - JustGive Guide
- Kids in Distressed Situations, Inc.
Related Topics: Technorati Tags: PROJECT GOOD HEART, charity, giving, holidays
17 Comments:
What a wonderful idea, Dr. P! I'm going to do it with my three kids. I'll be really interested to see which charities they pick.
Great message with which to start the crazy holiday season. I'm signing up!
Thanks, Dr. P.
I hope the message really gets out there on this idea. The experience of giving, when instilled at a young age can reap societal benefits for the next generation. For my part, I plan to bring Project Good Heart up at the holiday PTO gathering at my sons' school. What a breath of fresh air in a season marked by commercialism!
Project Good heart is great!
We did it last year and our kids are still talking about all the Katrina families they helped. They are already talking about who will be this year's charity.
In case you were wondering how to finesse the Santa Claus question:
Last year I told my 7 year old that we would write to Santa about how she was forgoing a present so she could donate the money to charity. We told her we thought Santa would be very pleased with her! She was excited to be on Santa's good side because of Good Heart.
I'm having a hard time figuring how to 'spin' this so my 6 year old doesn't see the loss of a toy as a deprivation rather than as a blessing for others.
Any ideas?
Last year, a mom was worried that her 4 year old cried when he learned about losing a toy as a result of Project Good Heart. She wondered if he had a deficient moral sense.
But he was too young NOT to be self-centered. That's why I advise waiting until at least 5 or 6 years, sometimes even later.
The key is that your child be old enough to really empathize with disadvantaged people or animals or a distressed environment, etc. so that they take real pleasure in offering the help.
BUT, if a child isn't ready yet to share much with others (even at 6 years), don't push it or worry about it. Just wait until next year. It's a sign of immaturity, not a moral failing.
For PGH to work, your child must feel good about his/her charitable effort, and not feel criticized for not wanting to share a toy as yet.
So explain PGH and see if it flies with your 6 year old. If not, I'll bet s/he might be ready in 2008.
Good luck. Let me know how it goes.
My 3 kids got together and decided to pool their dollars for our local church's efforts to fed the the homeless this Xmas. It was great for me to see them talking to each other about how and where to donate the money from their gifts.
We are one of those "poor" families you wrote about before. My problem at Christams is the opposite of Project Good Heart. I need to teach my kids it's OK to receive charity from others since we are often given food and presents from our church around this time.
My kids decided to pool their money to support a child in Africa from Plan International.
What's great about Project Good Heart is that they had to give up something to do so, but not too much. After all, they agreed, what's one less present.
Project good heart has become the high point of our holidays in just two years. I overheard my son and daughter talking about what charity to designate the weekend after Thanksgiving! Thanks for this lovely, lovely idea! And happy holidays to you!
My two boys compete about everything. Now they are arguing about who picked the most worthwhile, coolest charity!
My two boys compete about everything. Now they are arguing about who picked the most worthwhile, coolest charity!
This is a really good idea. We have angels (infant -adults) that we choose out of, so my daughter picked one the other night, and we went and did the shopping for her angel, she really enjoyed the experience.
Thank you for reminding us what really matters. My grandson excitedly called me last night to report on his donation to a local shelter for the homeless. He is 9 and I have never been prouder of him!
Yesterday I overheard my 8 year old showing his pal the Project Good Heart card under the Xmas tree, proudly telling him all about how he is helping to feed hungry children with it.
What a great gift his contribution is for him. I can see a new tradition has begun in our family.
Dr. P - It was wonderful sitting around the tree and talking not about only the great things the kids got, but the nice things they did for others less fortunate.
This will definitely be a tradition in our family. Thanks. It's a lovely idea.
Post a Comment