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Fat Bashing...Do You Participate?
I had two sisters, was a dancer as my sport, became a dietitian which is a mostly female profession, only to become the mother of two teen girls who spend a lot of their time at a dance studio. You could say I've been around a lot of women. One thing is for sure, when swimming in estrogen-infested waters, some women like to trash talk themselves in front of other women. I guess some call it "fat talk" and they even like to "discuss" other peoples bodies too. And it doesn't seem to matter what age the women are, even in their 40's they are spending time talking about physical appearance.
You know what fat talk sounds like, right?
"I had such a fun weekend but now I'm paying the price...my jeans are so tight." "I wish I could wear a swimsuit like you-but I would look like a beached whale."
Some women skip the fat talk and go straight to the pounds.
"I can't believe I gained 2 pounds on vacation!" "I have to lose 2 pounds by Friday."
Granted kids are walking around in leotards and such at the dance studio but some mothers like to comment on the teens bodies too. When my oldest daughter was going through puberty, her "thinner" body seemed to be a popular topic of conversation. And I'm asked occasionally if my other daughter (who is naturally a bit more curvacious) has "lost weight." I usually answer, "I don't think so-we don't have a scale in our house and she's not trying to."
Then there are the women who tend to talk about diets or dieting what seems like 24/7. They always know what the latest diet book is. They can tell you which celebrity women have gone on which diet without skipping a beat.
You know what I tend to do when women around me start bashing their bodies, pondering pounds, or dishing about dieting? I just walk away. I don't participate in it. I don't try to convert people to the "love your body" camp. I just walk away. Oh, don't get me wrong, I've been in that circle plenty of times before telling women, "you look great!" or sharing post baby weight gain stories.
I would like to think I've moved beyond this. There are more important things in life to talk about with your girlfriends. It's simply not good for women. This doesn't feed our hearts and souls to participate in fat talk and it's certainly not good for children who might be within earshot of this sadly socially acceptable body bashing.
If you feel the same way I do, then next time the women around you start talking the talk, boycott the bashing and just walk away or politely change the subject to something that truly matters. The truth is "fit and healthy" comes in all shapes and sizes and thank goodness we all look different.
Related Topics:
You know what fat talk sounds like, right?
"I had such a fun weekend but now I'm paying the price...my jeans are so tight." "I wish I could wear a swimsuit like you-but I would look like a beached whale."
Some women skip the fat talk and go straight to the pounds.
"I can't believe I gained 2 pounds on vacation!" "I have to lose 2 pounds by Friday."
Granted kids are walking around in leotards and such at the dance studio but some mothers like to comment on the teens bodies too. When my oldest daughter was going through puberty, her "thinner" body seemed to be a popular topic of conversation. And I'm asked occasionally if my other daughter (who is naturally a bit more curvacious) has "lost weight." I usually answer, "I don't think so-we don't have a scale in our house and she's not trying to."
Then there are the women who tend to talk about diets or dieting what seems like 24/7. They always know what the latest diet book is. They can tell you which celebrity women have gone on which diet without skipping a beat.
You know what I tend to do when women around me start bashing their bodies, pondering pounds, or dishing about dieting? I just walk away. I don't participate in it. I don't try to convert people to the "love your body" camp. I just walk away. Oh, don't get me wrong, I've been in that circle plenty of times before telling women, "you look great!" or sharing post baby weight gain stories.
I would like to think I've moved beyond this. There are more important things in life to talk about with your girlfriends. It's simply not good for women. This doesn't feed our hearts and souls to participate in fat talk and it's certainly not good for children who might be within earshot of this sadly socially acceptable body bashing.
If you feel the same way I do, then next time the women around you start talking the talk, boycott the bashing and just walk away or politely change the subject to something that truly matters. The truth is "fit and healthy" comes in all shapes and sizes and thank goodness we all look different.
Related Topics:
- WebMD Video: Being Big and Fit: Is it Healthy?
- Study Gives the Skinny on 'Fit and Fat'
- Obese and Healthy?
Labels: body image, fit
4 Comments:
I know what you are talking about. I have been on both sides of that conversation. While it is never acceptable to bash others and negative self talk is right out of the question, we cannot help but look at others and form some sort of opinion. First impressions right?
There is really nothing wrong with discussing how you look or how others look. It just needs to be on the up and up. Be real with people when you compliment others (fakers are easily spotted). Also, it should never be a jumping off point to bash or speak poorly about oneself. For instance, “Wow Sally! I have never seen you in a skirt. You legs are fabulous!” and not, “Sally...you look amazing in skirts. I wish my cottage cheese did not drip down to my knees.”
We are humans after all and I believe that we cannot help ourselves on this one. However, we can be real with people and be positive. That will make a heck of a difference in some of these silly conversations.
Kristy
Some intriguing research shows that college students - males and females - know that when women are in a group of other women who are fat talking, that they are supposed to join in to say negative things about their bodies. And, there is pressure to do so.
In other words - if someone starts complaining about how fat they are - there is an unwritten rule that you must also join in with the self-degradation.
In one study (emphasis added): researchers described a vignette to 124 test subjects in which four female college students are studying for an exam. In the scenario, three of the four students begin to discuss their weight and dissatisfaction with their bodies. The students participating in the study – both males and females – were asked to choose how they thought the fourth female student would respond to the discussion. Forty percent of the male students and 51 percent of the females believed the woman most likely would join the negative discussion.
They also found the women in the group would be more inclined to like a woman who participates in fat talk than a woman who doesn’t join the discussion.
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terrina
Cooking
Sure, let's not talk about fat, obesity, poor diet, the overabundance of gobs and gobs of cellulite. We have an epidemic of obesity in this society, look around! Over one-third of the population is horribly fat. Fat- talk is a symptom of reality-as-is. It is obfuscation to say that "fit comes in all shapes and sizes." Stay obese and health problems will only multiply. One must admit the problem first(some form of fat-talk)and then DO something about it.
It's really difficult to look around you and see(hear) NOTHING but weight loss ads on TV, in magazines, on the radio, on the computer and etc--only to turn around and see a "big mac" advertised shortly after. Heck there's even a TV show dedicated to weightloss now. The talk about fitness and weight is everywhere; it's hard to escape, especially for those who struggle with it. It's not about getting others to join in and "bash" themselves it's about finding support from elsewhere, when you can no longer find it from with in. It's also about hearing what works (or doesn't work) for other people. I'm not an advocate of fad diets-but sometimes knowing someone else's struggle, their journey and then success is just what the doctor ordered.
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