Fat Bashing...Do You Participate?

I had two sisters, was a dancer as my sport, became a dietitian which is a mostly female profession, only to become the mother of two teen girls who spend a lot of their time at a dance studio. You could say I've been around a lot of women. One thing is for sure, when swimming in estrogen-infested waters, some women like to trash talk themselves in front of other women. I guess some call it "fat talk" and they even like to "discuss" other peoples bodies too. And it doesn't seem to matter what age the women are, even in their 40's they are spending time talking about physical appearance.

You know what fat talk sounds like, right?

"I had such a fun weekend but now I'm paying the price...my jeans are so tight." "I wish I could wear a swimsuit like you-but I would look like a beached whale."

Some women skip the fat talk and go straight to the pounds.

"I can't believe I gained 2 pounds on vacation!" "I have to lose 2 pounds by Friday."

Granted kids are walking around in leotards and such at the dance studio but some mothers like to comment on the teens bodies too. When my oldest daughter was going through puberty, her "thinner" body seemed to be a popular topic of conversation. And I'm asked occasionally if my other daughter (who is naturally a bit more curvacious) has "lost weight." I usually answer, "I don't think so-we don't have a scale in our house and she's not trying to."

Then there are the women who tend to talk about diets or dieting what seems like 24/7. They always know what the latest diet book is. They can tell you which celebrity women have gone on which diet without skipping a beat.

You know what I tend to do when women around me start bashing their bodies, pondering pounds, or dishing about dieting? I just walk away. I don't participate in it. I don't try to convert people to the "love your body" camp. I just walk away. Oh, don't get me wrong, I've been in that circle plenty of times before telling women, "you look great!" or sharing post baby weight gain stories.

I would like to think I've moved beyond this. There are more important things in life to talk about with your girlfriends. It's simply not good for women. This doesn't feed our hearts and souls to participate in fat talk and it's certainly not good for children who might be within earshot of this sadly socially acceptable body bashing.

If you feel the same way I do, then next time the women around you start talking the talk, boycott the bashing and just walk away or politely change the subject to something that truly matters. The truth is "fit and healthy" comes in all shapes and sizes and thank goodness we all look different.

Related Topics:

• WebMD Video: Being Big and Fit: Is it Healthy?
• Study Gives the Skinny on 'Fit and Fat'
• Obese and Healthy?

Beauty Comes In All Shapes & Sizes

I met this lovely woman a couple of months ago while we were both about to go on a television show in San Francisco. Her name is Rosanne Olson and she is the author of the book, This Is Who I Am: Our Beauty in All Shapes and Sizes. I saw her holding the book closely as we were both nervously sitting on the cozy couch in the "green room" and couldn't help but notice the woman on the cover was, well...not wearing any clothing. That instantly got us talking about the meaning of her photograph-rich book - women celebrating themselves and their differences and their life journeys. Music to my ears!

I was even more fascinated to hear that each woman profiled and photographed in the book (all without clothing) had unique struggles and experiences. One of the women was a breast cancer survivor, another a survivor of domestic violence, and another battled an eating disorder. The women who participated in the book shared their raw and honest stories because they believe women need to combat the rigid "body fascism" perpetuated in magazines and movies, and they hoped their stories and photographs would help other women - and men - find the real beauty in their own selves. Again, music to my ears!

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we all loved ourselves no matter what our size and shape? Wouldn't it be wonderful if all women felt beautiful inside and out? Maybe then some women would stop criticizing the looks of other women? I love one of the quotes in the book; it comes from Barbara who is 51. "I love being comfortable in my body. It has a certain grace that is distinctively mine."

Related Topics:

• Love Your Body Inside and Out
• Moms, Kids, and Body Image

Celebrity FIT Club Needs an Overhaul

Somehow the other day, I found myself watching Celebrity Fit Club for the first time. (That show where "overweight" celebrities lose weight with the help of a doctor, personal trainer, and psychologist).

Maybe what drew me in was the fact that Marcia Brady (Maureen McCormick), a teen icon from my youth (My favorite show growing up was The Brady Bunch--need I say more), was on one of the teams. Okay, that's a lame excuse.

But I found myself completely disgusted at the absolute obsession with weight loss (especially because they had celebrities on who didn't look that overweight and weighed like 120 pounds or something like that). If it were truly Celebrity "FIT" club, the emphasis would be on fitness, not pounds. Why not measure muscle mass or stress test results or blood lipid values or lung capacity instead of pounds lost?

While on the elliptical machine at my gym, watching E! Entertainment and all the TOO THIN celebrities in Hollywood right now, I found myself wondering, why don't they have a Celebrity FIT Club that helps all the celebrities who are scary thin get healthy -- where pounds gained would be the goal. Imagine that! That would really give that psychologist something to do. Seriously though, they would need a well trained team to tackle the sobering issues that would come up if they were to take on those celebrities and the reasons why they are so underweight.

Just a thought!

~~Elaine

Related Topics: What is a Healthy Weight?, Get Fit!


Technorati Tags: celebrityfitclub, bodyimage, diet

PBS TV: FAT - What No One Is Telling You

Just came across information for a PBS show called FAT: What No On Is Telling You. You can search viewing times in your area by punching in your zip code into the PBS website.

I haven't seen the show yet but I can already tell I'm going to like quite a few of the messages it seems to be sending. For example, an interview with the Director/Producer, Tom Spain (available to read at the above mentioned PBS website) was truly inspired.

Here are some of the wise words from Tom Spain that I can definitely agree with...

The big surprise, and the big dilemma, is the complexity. One researcher told me early on: If you're going to deal with the subject, you have to honor the complexity... I've since learned this is a social phenomenon, an emotional phenomenon, a genetic phenomenon, it's a food supply phenomena. It's such a vast subject that's way beyond the reach of medicine or weight loss programs...it's just huge.

In response to the challenge that a filmmaker has to take an issue and make it clear and simple, but this topic is far from being either, Tom Spain answered, "It's a matter of balance, between getting a clear view on something we know about, and then suggesting there are things we don't know about. Much of this story is about things we don't yet know."

Being someone who eats healthy, exercises almost every day (and always has) and is on TV with some regularity to promote my various books, I have been taken to task once or twice for not fitting into the ideal "ultra thin" physique people have in mind for someone who talks about health.

What I can tell you is that fit comes in all shapes and sizes and I happen to know from personal experience that some of us are simply not designed to be ultra thin. And you know what? That's just fine with me. My wish for all of us is to eat and exercise for the health of it and let the pounds fall where they may. The focus should be on being fit! There is no magical size or weight for all women; one size does not fit all. We know it is more difficult for the female to lose weight than the male body. We know that some of us are genetically programmed to be better body fat storers (thanks to my ancestors who probably survived many a potato famine).

Okay then! So let's have some compassion for people who don't fit into our ideal and may be working harder than you can ever imagine to get fit and shed pounds in this culture that works the exact opposite way. And let's understand that the issue of obesity or overweight doesn't have a simple answer.

~~Elaine

Related Topics: Not Overweight? You May Still Be Fat, Diet and Women

Technorati Tags: pbs, fat, bodyimage, bodyfat, diet

I think someone just called me FAT!

Wow! Did you see the comment to my Fat Talk blog?

I think someone just called me fat!

First of all I am not naturally thin but I am very fit and healthy and that's kind of my point. THIN is not what I preach. I preach eating and exercising for the health of it. Fit comes in all shapes and sizes and it takes someone who isn't naturally thin but is (and has always been) healthy to understand that.

Not that I need to defend who I am but I was a dancer growing up and through college and was always interested in eating healthy. I have had two children (now teens) and a hysterectomy and I've never felt better. I don't have any joint aches and pains and I exercise almost every day including a kick ass cycling class and pilates. I don't smoke nor do I have anything close to an eating disorder. I don't need to take any medication because I don't have any health problems that would warrant it. I don't overeat because I naturally eat when I am hungry and stop when I am comfortable. I eat light at night because I like going to sleep with only some tea in my stomach. My family often calls me "bird" because I eat like a bird (small amounts).

What kind of a society do we live in where people are actually judging someone like this?

These are the kinds of comments that make me wonder if I should have chosen another profession. But then I realize, I need to be out there representing what's real and hopefully all these other people will listen to what I have to say because they can relate to me. Because they know I have the true view of health (mind, body, spirit) as my focus. Being obsessed with being thin and being obsessed by weight is not being in balance. Embracing the fact that there are many healthy shapes in the world is.

Marilyn Monroe is a perfect example of beauty coming in a wonderful curvaceous size 14. There are plenty of modern day Marilyns!

Here are a few truths that I know after living on this planet for 45 years:

* Just because someone is thin doesn't mean they are happier or healthier or have a better marriage (that's code for sex life)
* Someone can eat healthier and exercise more than others and because of their personal metabolism and body type will not be as thin as others are (and by the way - that's okay)
* When you focus on health and let your body find its happy place, you free yourself to work on what truly matters in life.

~~Elaine

Related Topics: Body Image: Bigger Can Be Beautiful, What is a Healthy Weight?

Technorati Tags: bodyimage, healthyweight, fattalk

Stop the Fat Talk

I had two sisters and zero brothers growing up and now I'm a mother of two teen girls who spend a lot of their time at a dance studio. You could say I've been around a lot of women. One thing is for sure, when swimming in estrogen-infested waters, some women like to trash talk themselves in front of other women. I guess some call it "fat talk."

You know what fat talk sounds like, right?

"I look so fat today" or "I wish I looked as good in jeans as you do" or "I look like a beached whale in my swimsuit."

Some women skip the fat talk and go straight to the pounds.

"Have you lost weight?" "I can't believe I gained 2 pounds on vacation!" "I have to lose 2 pounds by Friday."

Often women admit to weighing themselves a couple of times a day (can you say obsessed?) I think that's technically considered a disorder.

Then there are the women who tend to talk about diets or dieting what seems like 24/7. They always know what the latest diet book is. They can tell you which celebrity women have gone on which diet without skipping a beat.

You know what I tend to do when women around me start bashing their bodies, pondering pounds, or dishing about dieting? I just walk away. I don't participate in it. I don't try to convert people to the "love your body" camp. I just walk away. Oh, don't get me wrong, I've been in that circle plenty of times before telling women, "you look great! I don't know what you're talking about" or sharing post baby weight gain stories.

I would like to think I've moved beyond this. There are more important things in life to talk about with your girlfriends. It's simply not good for women. This doesn't feed our hearts and souls to participate in fat talk and it's certainly not good for children who might be within earshot of this sadly socially acceptable body bashing.

If you feel the same way I do, then next time the women around you start talking the talk, boycott the bashing and just walk away or politely change the subject to something that truly matters.

~~Elaine

Related Topics: Moms Influence Kids Body Image, Body Image and Eating Disorders

Technorati Tags: fattalk, women, bodyimage, diet, eatindisorders

Weighing in on the Fashion Industry and Eating Disorders

Let's just call it like it is shall we? There is a "dark side" to the fashion biz I'm sure, just as I know there are Darth Vader's in the dance world. (I used to dance in regional shows and now both my girls dance competitively.)

For decades people within the fashion industry have been telling women and teenagers that they are too fat or that they need to lose weight. I guess they have a right to prefer skeletal models but I have a right to reject that standard and prefer to buy magazines and clothing that uses models that look "fit and healthy."

While it is possible that some of these size zero models are naturally so, it appears that some are quite possibly maintaining this ridiculous ideal via starvation, purging, and/or drug use. My heart goes out to these girls and women who feel compelled to maintain this size at the cost of their health, happiness, and for some, ultimately it costs them their life.

I personally feel the fashion industry needs to shift and shift quickly towards more realistic and healthful standards. It simply isn't good for our girls growing up in this "music video" culture. I for one, find it refreshing to see models that have natural curves. I look forward to seeing what Oprah, Queen Latifa, Jennifer Hudson, and other beautiful (normally sized women) are wearing at the Oscars. I could care less about the other skinny celebrities, frankly, because I simply can't relate, nor would I want to relate. I have chosen "health" and happiness and I have chosen to not be obsessed with food and body size.

In response to various articles and blogs discussing the rampant eating disorders and underweight standards in the fashion industry and the recent deaths of models due to anorexia, I've read people blaming all sorts of things (including parents) for eating disorders. Admittedly I am not an expert in this very complicated and vital subject but here's what I know and believe about the cause of eating disorders.

* Although no one variable has been found to "cause" an eating disorder, research has found that certain personality characteristics, genetic disposition (thought to contribute to almost half the risk), environment and biochemistry all play significant roles in the development of eating disorders.

* Some experts in the field say that while genetics and biochemistry may load the gun (so to speak), the environment pulls the trigger. Certainly it would help if our culture wasn't putting unrealistic and somewhat skeletal models/celebrities on a perpetual pedestal. Changing this, my friends, will take a lot.

* An eating disorder is considered to be a mental illness. It's a door that once it is opened, it can take someone years of treatment and therapy to completely close. Some women never fully recover and spend the rest of their lives with some degree of disorder.

* Some people develop an eating disorder in spite of being part of a happy, loving family that has not emphasized thinness or food obsession.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is for people who develop eating disorders to get help as soon as possible. This takes buckets of honesty and courage folks (not to mention buckets of money). But it is these people that have the best chance of fully recovering. It is important that everyone be aware of the signs of eating disorders so that people who develop this illness can be helped as soon as possible. All my love and best wishes goes out to them and their families.

With more than half of American teenage girls and nearly a third of boys using unhealthy behaviors to control their weight, according to the experts at the National Eating Disorders Association, they offer 10 tips to catch the warning signs of anorexia and bulimia:

#1 Dramatic loss of weight
#2 Preoccupation with calorie-counting
#3 Frequent use of a weight scale
#4 Obsession with exercise
#5 Binge eating and/or purging
#6 Food "rituals" like taking tiny bites, ignoring certain food groups, rearranging food on the plate.
#7 Eating alone, or avoiding meals altogether
#8 Use of laxatives/diuretics
#9 Smoking aimed at suppressing appetite
#10 Frequent criticism of self as "fat" which increases despite weight loss.

Here's to a future free of eating disorders and weight or body size obsession!

~~Elaine

Related Topics: Helping Girls With Body Image, Bigger Can Be Beautiful