Black Holes & Illumination

IMYJOB: Week 1


Borrowing from 12-step wisdom, one of the biggest leaps you can make towards loving your any area of life – work included – is admitting that you are a part of the problem. What problem? Well, whatever you consider to be the problem. All too often we hold a magnifying glass to the world looking for evidence of how we think things are and judging them according to how we think they SHOULD be rather than simply being present with how they are. And let's face it: until you are appointed as chief designer of the universe, the contrast between how you think things should be and how things are is often a vast one, that open empty space between the two often filled with discontentment. This week offers exercises to help you dive into that gap.

Let's get clear about a couple of things. Loving your job does not mean you think everything or everyone is perfect there. Loving your job DOES mean that your involvement with whatever is going on, imperfections and all, is not a source of unhappiness or resignation. Instead, held with love and commitment, the challenges you find are calls to action, catalysts of effort, and starter flames for investment of passion and cultivation of compassion.

Think about it this way: most of us can think of people who have "black hole" areas in their lives. A black hole area is an area in which they don't have much success or satisfaction, and when you hear them talk about it there's not really an upside present. For one friend it might be money. For another it might be romantic relationships. The possibilities are very broad, and can even be boiled down to specific phobias or discomforts such as heights, public places, being out of control, etc. These black hole areas are like neon indicators pointing to our most unconscious but limiting perspectives, ones that put us at odds with what IS, and each of us has them.

Oftentimes the black hole areas of others are much more obvious to us than our own, and offer great insight into the power of deeply held beliefs. For example: let's say I have lots of healthy friendships with women I admire and respect and then I meet a woman who tells me she struggles with friendships with women. I would be able to see her black hole as a black hole and experience my own wisdom in that area, while she might simply feel it as a foregone conclusion that by nature women are not trustworthy, loyal, supportive, etc. Multiplying this awareness opportunity over the countless people you encounter over the course of your day, conscious observation of your own mindset and the mindsets of others is a great step towards choosing ones that free you up from judging the world around you and reposition you as simply learning from it.

You may have heard conventional wisdom that the definition of insanity is "doing something over and over again, expecting a different result." The "doing" in this case is how we perceive the world around us and offers a key to creating powerful shifts. This week, apply this practice to the subject of WORK, looking for black holes and opportunities for illumination:

1. Begin to take note of how people in your life talk about work. Is it positive? Is there expansive curiosity or limiting judgment? Notice how many times you detect resignation, indignation, or other less than expansive states of being when the issues of work are involved. Direct this inquiry to your own inner circle: how do your parents or other primary life influences talk about work? Friends? As a parent, how do you talk to your children or other young people about work?
2. How many expansive or life-affirming attitudes do you encounter about work and how many times do you experience "black-holes"? As you survey these attitudes about work, notice your inner response to their attitudes. When speaking to people who express well-being and positive attitudes towards work, do you feel at ease or like running to your most reliable venting-partner? When you hear negativity about work, does it affirm your world view or bum you out? Responses can be a mixture of both, just get in the practice of NOTICING.
3. As you conduct transactions and commerce at work and in life, what do you notice about the attitudes of the people you come into contact with? That barista, cashier, call-center attendant, receptionist, etc., what do you notice about how they go about what they do? How do they handle conflict or less-than-perfect aspects of their jobs? BONUS: how do you engage with and respond to people who seem at peace with what they do?
4. As you take note of all these various attitudes and beliefs, ask yourself who seems happier with themselves and life. Ask yourself who around you seems to have something you can learn from in order to better your relationship with work. Remembering that whatever we focus on grows, allow yourself to take note of moments in which you are with people who are at peace with what they do (no matter how simple/menial/unglamorous/poorly compensated). Focusing on their energy, their language, and their overall sense of peace, what happens inside of you when you allow yourself to be present to their state of being?

By observing examples of black holes and illumination, you can begin to cultivate a greater relationship with illumination and greater awareness of your own black holes. If you are getting together with a group or undertaking this practice on your own, either in writing or in moments of reflection, honor your own process by considering carefully what you have observed and what you can learn from it. Resist the urge to dismiss another's state of well being as "unintelligent" or otherwise invalid. Instead, focus upon what they get and what they give out in terms of peace of mind and satisfaction. Is there some aspect of their way of being you can try on from time to time this week?

Be well,

Tevis

IMYJOB - The Series:

• Jobs: Love The One You're With
• Black Holes & Illumination
• Employee ID: Work As Self-Expression
• Rut, Routine or Ritual?
• The Difference is YOU

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• The Good Life Neighborhood
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