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Jobs: Love The One You're With
If loving your work sounds like a luxury you can't afford, think again. You MUST be in harmony with what you do every day. As a biological organism and life system, feeling positively about what you do is necessary for both your well-being and effectiveness. When you hate what you do, you carry the chemical reality of those negative feelings around inside of your body, impacting both critical functions of vital organs, as well as diminishing your ability to respond well, communicate, recall, formulate ideas and create solutions.
This is no time to be less than optimal. With unemployment higher than most of us can remember, never before have new ideas, good communication skills, reserves of energy, and an ability to stay cool through chaos been more important. But if the notions that happiness at work is an operational norm and that true success is an inside job rank somewhere between Hallmark-wishes and reality TV, you may have to make a practice out of shifting how you think about where you earn your daily bread.
Whether it's bosses, subordinates, peers, clients, IT, finance, marketing, the news or even the company cafeteria that is getting you down, you can't afford to let anything stand in the way of feeling good about where you spend the majority of your days. If health reasons and quality of life aren't enough to motivate you to try on a new attitude, consider this: there are plenty of people out there who really, really, really want your job right now. So how do you do it? How do you adopt a positive mental framework about WORK?
Chances are your attitude DOES need a shift. Even before the downturn, Gallup reported that less than 27% of us were "truly engaged" in our work. And in companies where layoffs have occurred, chances are employees are feeling even more forlorn as they head to their desks. Post-layoff, the damage to the sense of trust between employer & employee is so grave companies can anticipate a multiple of 3x however many people were laid-off to leave their jobs in the next 12 months. And since the US Department of Labor recently reported productivity has improved 6.6% - the highest level in six years- chances are also pretty good that your company isn't about to spend bunches of money on extra bells and whistles to put a smile back on employees faces.
Here's how I
MYJOB works:- Practice Makes Perfect: For the next four weeks, by each Monday at noon you will find a specific Focus Practice to help you shift your mind out of the work gutter.
- Progress Not Perfection: Based on the ideas in the post, you will work with each concept and practice for a week and see if you feel a change in perspective or new energy. We're not talking magic wand here, we're talking personal empowerment at work and in life.
- Happiness Loves Company: Some of us work best alone, but there's also something to be said about community and support. If that resonates with you, tell your friends, forward this as an invitation, talk to them about what it means to you to feel better at work every day and see if they are interested in doing it with you. Make sure they understand this will not be a scheduled gripe session or opportunity to vent, but will be all about looking at and practicing how you cultivate happiness in the midst of your workday.
- Playing Nice (If you're going it alone, you can skip this point): Decide together how your group is going to function. If you work in the same company you can meet in a conference room at lunch time. If you prefer virtual, you can agree to swap notes on the posts and what you are observing. In some companies, people have even named their groups, a Success & Satisfaction Salon or whatever you want to call it. Agree that participants are all peers and only speak from the "I or ME" rather than giving advice to each other. Respect your meeting times and/or online sharing commitments, and also, what people SAY in the group STAYS in the group.
- Keeping Zentention: Okay, so maybe "love" or "happiness" at work seems excessive - especially after a bad meeting or challenging commute. Whether you do all of the posts over the next four weeks of this I
MYJOB or you just pop in from time to time, hold the zen-tention of being at peace with whatever is happening around you, and compassionately seeing the very real humanity in whomever is around you.
Confused? You should be - this is a confusing time. Then meet me back here in a week and let's get started using confusion as a catalyst for learning to be even more clear and satisfied.
Be well,
Tevis
I
MYJOB - The Series:- Jobs: Love The One You're With
- Black Holes & Illumination
- Employee ID: Work As Self-Expression
- Rut, Routine or Ritual?
- The Difference is YOU
Related Topics:
- Mind, Body, Spirit: Member Discussion
- The Good Life Neighborhood
- Emotional Wellness - get helpful tips in your inbox
Labels: positive attitude, work
10 Comments:
I really love what I do but I find it very difficult getting along with my co-workers and my many bosses.
How can I be more positive and still keep my integrity?
I really love my job since im working here.. Yah its true that sometimes its hard to understand the moods of your co workers.. But i always bear in mind that its part of my job.
You can't always bear in mind that it's PART of your job- to understand moods of your co- workers- IT is your job to work with co workers that have a bad mood, not to understand their moods- that is something no one can accomplish.
I really enjoy doing what I do, there are times I do not enjoy the gossip that employees do to other employees, this tells a lot about them. IT tells me that they also gossip about me when I am not around. If someone talks about another employee while they are out of range, it is an almost sure thing they are also talking the same talk about you when you are not around. Don't get caught up in that conversation, it spreads like wildfire and not easily put out.
If there is a problem with another co-worker -go straight to the source, the co-worker and explain why you have a difficult time working with them- I think you will find that they will be thankful for the information or they will be a fool and still be difficult, which in that case just do what your job requires, and leave them to own their downfall, which will happen.
I have great sympathy with anyone in a job where they have problems getting on with co-workers or bosses regardless of whether they like they work or not. I went through a bad time in several jobs where I was bullied either by a supervisor, colleague or boss who seemed to think I was a threat to their job because of their own inadequacies. I am not anything special but went into the job trying to be friendly and efficient and all it got me was grief. I tried everything from confronting the bullies, going to HR, ignoring the problem and believe me, nothing worked.Many other workers were friendly and sympathetic but obviously kept out of it in case they were next! I ended up usually changing jobs and after deciding enough was enough, I decided to do private cleaning jobs where I was on my own and could get on without the hassle. It can be lonely not meeting people and I feel my career has dived but at least the stress has gone. Has anyone got any good tips on helping others in a bad office situation? I have to say virtually ALL HR depts were useless and, despite all their policies, did nothing to avert the problem, leaving me to deal with all of it.
I hate my job. I work in a call center and get call after call of people complaining. I thought a college degree would get me a better and more interesting job...I was wrong. Now I owe $45000 for a degree that I dont even use!
Powerful, valuable blog and great responses. Thanks! An thank you Val Kinjerski for pointing me to it.
The advice is wise and, as people comment, it can be hard to take. How can we implement it?
As you say, it takes practice. Habits have shaped our mind and it takes consistent, sustained effort to reshape it. Some researchers suggest that it takes three weeks of cosnscious practice to build the foundation of a new habit or way of thinking and a challenge with trying to think positive is that the rewards are not immediately obvious or consistent - and if we have a negative habit we won't easily notice the good things that are happening at first, even when they do happen. It takes even more effort and optimistic confidence to try, but it is worth it. Like exercising or dieting, the first few days are hard and seem to offer no rewards, but within a few weeks the change can be great.
If you have trouble getting along with fellow workers, you don't have to think everything they do is good. On the other hand, you can try to notice the occasional things thay do that you do value. If you thank them for those things (with integrity and without makinga big issue about it), they will probably do more of them. They may make jokes about your new positivity, but that is often people's way of creating a safe space for themselves so they can credit any change in their behaviour to their own intitiative rather than yours. But at Truman said, "You can achieve anything you want, if you don't mind soeone else getting the credit." This issue of integrity is very important and no-one should ever try to fake positivity; it is much more about genuinely directing attention more to the positive than negative things that happen around you.
I feel for the person who hates their job in a call centre. The aim of the call centre is to help people. It ought to be one of the best jobs in the world, but sufferes very high staff turnover because few centres are well managed and the centres are not respected although almost none of the problems they deal with originate from the centre. I think that combining the thinking tools you have gained at university with the insights that you get about service problems will help you later to help your employer and others to solve major service problems. How can you turn those complaints into organisational learning when no-one seems to want to listen?
It is not easy, especailly at first, to be positive. It does require mindful reframing that takes time, but it is worth it. It is not about unrestrained positivity. Marcial Losada found the tipping point to make a sustained difference and lead to flourishing relationships is 3:1 positivity;negativity, ideally 6:1 and not exceeeding 11:1. That ratio should be coupled with an equal balance of interest in others and interst in oneself and an equal balance of asking quistions and offering opinions. Try it. It works!
I have worked in a call center environment for several years and enjoyed every minute. The comment on Oct 1st regarding the difficulty of getting along with co-workers, bosses etc reminded me of the many disagreements encountered on how to handle a request or another person's version of a better way to handle a request. I would just remind the person to get to know the job inside/out; be professional @ all times with the client, co-workers and managers; this will make the person feel better about working in a customercare environment.
Every day I make it a point to find something good to say about one of the people I work with. I don't get all mushy...just something positive and genuine. I try to make sure my comment brings a positive response from them and sometimes it takes a lot of thought for that to happen. So far, it has paid off for all involved. I do work hard to sense people's moods and even if I don't understand them, I can still listen. I know its not my job but if I act like it is, that action creates good feelings among those around me, lowers barriers and encourages trust. I love turning a situation around (and I've gotten pretty good at it) so that what could have meant losing a customer forever instead created a loyal client and friend. Every job I took (I've had 16-from trades to sales to farming) was good because it will offered me some level of experience that I didn't have before, it helped me learn to deal with different people and gave me a different viewpoint. I worked 3rd shift for 6 months and learned to have an immense amount of respect for any one who works at night. I was complaining awhile back to a friend about what job I should be doing and he said "Thats what you ought to do." It made me realize that I should quit complaining and prepare for that next job/position that I want but also be thankful for what I have.
So often we look at employee benefits or compensation to evaluate our work rather than how we approach work itself. I agree with the consensus here that the answer is not being fake, mushy or denying the very real struggles. The practices I've posted in the subsequent weeks are all intended to help people establish new frameworks around work, and as Jonathan Wilson referenced in his comments, the habit of this has to be cultivated over time. Check out the practices and TRY THEM actually doing the various steps and perspective shifts. Guided self study and action are more powerful than responding here with quick advice. Lasting change is really about shifting your relationship with work and (let's face it) the human challenges we all confront at work. Thanks so much for weighing in with such passion everyone.
What if one day it were all taken away? Some days I loved my job, and some days I didn't...but I adored my work and my customers and then one day it was just over.After more than 35 years in the hospitality industry, and 12 years of fighting an illness, I lost the battle last year and had to go on disability. This has not been an easy thing for me to do, I produced huge events and catered for large parties and that passion still burns inside. However willing the spirit may be, no longer can I withstand the physical demands of my former position.
When I first went on disability, I thought it might be the end of the world, however a wonderful company called J.Lodge www.jlodge.com has given me a second chance and even though I am only working part time, I am working again meaningful employment as well.
So, while you won't find me out on a golf cart or cooking for 50 people anymore....I think I might just make it..might even learn to love it!
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