Counting Your Blessings

Gisela / CC BY-SA 2.0

About a week ago, in a break from 18-hour days filled with consulting, teaching yoga, doing a little day job to make ends meet, and pitching new business, I posted to friends a list of things I've been grateful to discover (or rediscover) as a result of the downturn. Largely in response to the decline in incoming funds, what has increased in the past year is my sense of resourcefulness, my sense of priorities, and my ability to see beauty in the simplest moment. Although it really felt great to write the list for my own benefit, I hesitated to post it. Truth be told, the worry that people might judge me for my struggles crossed my mind more than once.

But of course, life being the generous experience it is, this small act of transparency brought blessings back to me many times over. Friends from around the world emailed and even called to say how much the gratitude list brightened their days. Others posted their own sources of gratitude, ranging from the smallest to the most impactful. My most fashionista friend confessed enjoying scouring sale racks in her drive to maintain her carefully-tended image. Another friend from childhood shared her delight in rediscovering the local free paper as a source for finding great FREE cultural events. Friends in London whose work situation forced them to share an apartment with another professional couple expressed gratitude for the deepening in their friendship and sense of community with this other couple.

All that in perspective, here's my little list:

1. Cortados (Latin lattes probably made with Cafe Bustelo) from little corner bodegas for $1.25.


2. Rockstar haircuts from Chinatown for $25.


3. Levi's AWESOME skinny jeans.


4. Selling stock to make ends meet during a lean spot did not kill me - and recognizing the blessing in having stock to sell!


5. Dry cleaning bags cut into squares make great doggy-curb plastics.


6. Threading instead of waxing saves a LOT of money.


7. Happy hour with friends at home is a lot more relaxing.


8. QiGong from the little underground places is AMAZING and 1/3 the price of a spa massage.


9. I can still paint my own toenails.


10. Making birthday gifts always was and is still more fun.


11. I don't miss frivolous shopping at all.


12. Consignment shops in NYC are full of AMAZING stuff.


13. Coconut oil is a FABULOUS deep conditioner.


14. Theme parties beat lounges hands down.


15. I have more music already than I could ever listen to in a year.


16. My doggy likes broccoli more than doggy treats.


17. This meditation/yoga stuff really works on managing stress and keeping peace of mind.


18. Hot rollers instead of salon blowouts.


19. A puppy who insists we start and end each day with a session of playtime.

Right after posting the list I realized the holiday season is about to kick off with Thanksgiving just next week. While I always love how the holidays give us a reason to draw together, I am already feeling a tender respect for all that I, my friends, and my family have been through in the past year or so. Health, employment, living situations, relationships - just thinking about it inspires a sense of quietness and appreciation. While that list above could go on indefinitely, the thing I'm really happy about is recognizing how full and beautiful my life is at any given moment, and how much grace we all experience in authentically sharing our lives with each other.

Be well,

Tevis

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• Mind, Body, Spirit: Member Discussion
• The Good Life Neighborhood
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Perspectives from a Party

Photo: Tevis Rose Trower

Life is a great storyteller - offering moments of insight into the mundane and the sublime, the tragedy, beauty and celebration of it all. The great storytellers all do this and it resonates for us because in their observations are embedded the very paradoxes that exist in our own lives.

Last Saturday night, life delivered one such a powerful response to conversations we've all been having about how short life is, and the mandate to overcome obstacles and put yourself fully into whatever you're doing no matter what, where, how or why.

Last Saturday night friend Sheena Mathieken threw a party to celebrate the six month mark of her really cool Uniform Project. In the Uniform Project, Sheena has pledged to wear the same dress every day for a year as an exercise in sustainable fashion. You can go onto her site and see the many ways she has injected creativity into it - looking, as she says, as if accessorized in the "Marquis de Sade's boudoir". She created this initiative as a fundraiser for educational initiatives for kids in slums in India. So far, the effort has won attention from the BBC, Elle, The New York Times, and The Times, London. Slightly over $28K later, with German press at the party and a room full of New York's creative influencers, it's clear Sheena is just getting her engines started.

Updating her about what's up in the world of corporate yogis, the focus on shifting consciousness she laughed, "if it were really about fitness or staying thin, my secret is following your passion AND keeping your day job - I have two full time jobs now and the energy alone is enough!". Even her boss acknowledged the energy this is demanding of her and that she is completely engaged and happy in what she is doing.

But last Saturday night after we left the party, someone in the building apparently fell down an elevator shaft and died. I'm not the first to report this - it's posted on Gothamist and ABC News. The tragedy to the deceased and his circle of loved ones is unimaginable. For the rest of us at the very least it is a powerful reminder to live our lives with passion and purpose, contribution and without complaint.

Which is what Sheena was already doing and hopefully will continue to do. Stressors clear, I'm offering up a prayer that this accident doesn't take Sheena off course either in this project and all the incredible contributions she has yet to make. I'm urging you to go to her site and tell her to keep going and if you have an extra $5 in your bank account make a donation.

The world needs the Sheena's and the you's and the me's to look life in the eye and give all we got while we're here - as you live your own greatest story, don't let anything take that offering off track.

Be well,

Tevis

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• Mind, Body, Spirit: Member Discussion
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Rise & Shine

Photo: Tevis Rose Trower

Walking home from teaching yoga Halloween morning, I passed a team of paraplegic "wheelers" getting ready for the NYC marathon. Twenty strides past this tangible reminder of happenstance and courage gave me pause to consider the ephemeral nature of this little life - that we come in, do some stuff while we're here, experience a lot, then die. Shakespeare captured this sentiment beautifully in The Tempest:

Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd tow'rs, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

Indeed. It seems that the great decider of how we live isn't so much any other person or external influence, but the degree to which we determine how we will rise and approach life, and how we will recognize that we own the choices we make in the midst of the situations we experience.

So how can we move powerfully through this pageant of life? "What doesn't kill you just makes you stronger" is a quote I often heard as a kid growing up in the South. If you can imagine a heavy southern accent as you read that, then you can also imagine my surprise to learn that the famous German existentialist philosopher Frederick Nietsche is credited with first saying it. But even he can't claim originating the sentiment. My meditation teacher Sally Kempton just reminded me of the millenia-old yogic adage that "That by which you fall is that by which you rise", further reinforcing the notion that great wisdom has no nationality, dogma or ethnicity. It's just a simple truth - no membership fee required.

Giving much thought to how to rise, what to grow into, and what about life might feel more "happy-making" if approached a little differently, the approaching holidays are a great catalyst for bringing greater awareness to thoughts and intentions, choices and actions. And as much as I've dreamed of a fairy-godmother to make life easier, you don't have to look very far to realize there's not a wisdom teacher out there who says getting rich quick, shirking work, or surrendering your intelligence to situation comedies are paths to happiness.

Inspired by this, I looked at two traditional structures for the aspects of self - Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs" and the yogic Chakra system - and made a map to prepare how to rise, not only through this holiday season but heading powerfully and peacefully into 2010.

Physiological
This level includes how you eat, getting some movement, some sleep, some comfort and downtime, making time for making love, taking care of primary physical self care such as dentist and yearly checkups, and yes, even simply heeding "nature's call" in a timely manner rather than putting it off after another 20 multitasks. Setting an intention here might include taking care of appointments long postponed, holding holiday drinking in check, packing a lunch rather than hitting the buffet, walking for 20 minutes before eating lunch, and making sure to take 10 minutes to breathe and center from time to time throughout the week. What can you identify that you need to remember on the physiological level?

Safety/Personal Power
This level relates to how well you stay connected to yourself in the midst of expansion into relationships including family, social and work. For many of us this brings up issues with over-committing, seeking approval or (the secret backside issue) forcing our will on others, judging ourselves or others, and any interaction with others that results in a power play rather than simply experiencing each other from a place of mutual respect and free-will. One way to keep yourself in that "happy-making" place is by asking yourself what you REALLY want as you consider any given choice. Whether simply determining whether to accept an invitation, or clarifying why you are squabbling with someone, this question will allow you to act on what is most true to you and to refrain from uselessly exerting your truth on someone who may have a different truth.

Heart/Love/Belonging
This is the flip side of the layer before. As an example from some of the most respected schools of coaching, there is an expression that we are all "perfect and whole", and in yoga we acknowledge this with the Sanskrit word "namaste" - loosely translated as the wisdom in me recognizes the wisdom in you. This doesn't mean we agree or even like each other, it simply means we give ourselves and others around us permission to exist exactly as we are. One way to practice this is to call to mind how it feels to observe an argument between two people you respect and admire equally seeing both sides as valid. That objectivity is a perspective you can cultivate in your own conflicts.

Self Expression/Communication
This layer is related to how we honor what matters most to us. How can you honor how you find meaning through this holiday season? Throughout your life? Taking the holiday example - maybe ritual is lost on you, but helping others means a lot. Maybe that means you spend the day volunteering and meeting others who share that value or inviting your family along or talking to them about why it means so much to you. Maybe you take on an issue you care about and blog about it. Maybe you join an organization that gives expression to issues you care deeply about. Think about it: over the next few weeks what could you commit to doing that really holds meaning for you? What about in the new year?

Self Actualization/Clarity
Self-actualization/clarity are often misunderstood as being really decisive or set in your ways. However, that way of being can only exist within artificial limits. For us to be fully alive, we have to stay awake to the dynamic world around us. Albert Einstein may have captured this best saying,

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us "universe", a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

In this aspect of self, your responsibility is to move purposefully outside of the limiting circle of your known experiences and cultivate new inputs, new ideas, find new perspectives and take new actions as your knowledge evolves. What can you do in support of this over the next few weeks? In the new year?

Remembering how short and precious life really is, get up. Rise. Make the most of it while you're here.

Be well,

Tevis

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• Mind, Body, Spirit: Member Discussion
• The Good Life Neighborhood
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The Difference is YOU

IMYJOB: Week 4

A couple years ago the most desired brand in high fashion recognized they had a serious problem: their employees were bitchy to people they didn't think would spend a lot of money. After I was asked to get involved in solving the problem, I tested these findings. My business partner (a former Microsoft employee) and I wandered into their boutique in Beverly Hills in our yoga gear. Lo and behold, the septuagenarian security guard is the only person who bothered to acknowledge us for the entire 20 minutes we endured being in the store. Not a good feeling.

This type of profiling happens in any business, but the obvious problem is that while missing out on lots of smaller transactions and creating a relationship with 14 year olds who will someday buy the $3,000 handbag, this company was also missing out on transactions from people like me and you who may not dress fancy, but in Sam Walton style can just as easily whip out the platinum AMEX when the mood strikes us. For the company this meant lost revenues. For the employees, it meant both lost sales commissions, and a very important something else - reducing interactions at work to either ones that "matter" or ones that aren't worth having. By adopting a mindset that precludes the majority of moments at work to being irrelevant, drudgery or a waste of time, the employees there had forgotten why they ever wanted to be a part of this proud brand to begin with. They had forgotten that this brand is the embodiment of luxury, of sophistication, and there is nothing luxurious or sophisticated about being rude or sleepwalking through the majority hours of life.

No matter where you work, for a couture name or a non-profit, there is a higher meaning behind the work you do. Each organization has central ideals and provides services others need. Sure we often look at this as nothing more than a reduced version of b.s. bingo - but those ideals are the core of how we connect and contribute to the highest version of what the organization is. Think about it: we can reduce what we do to its lowest meaning, or we can connect with it at the very highest.

As we've done with employees at organizations ranging from the NYPD to Yahoo!, employees at this company were invited to reconnect to why they ever wanted to work there to begin with. After working through their own stories of how they ended up there, the room was full of remembering the legacy, the attention to every last detail, the creativity of the vision, that working there meant "belonging" in a world of absolute luxury. We asked: okay, so if that's what drew you here, isn't it safe to assume a similar longing drew people into the door? How do you give them that experience in everything you do?

The room got quiet. We were all feeling a bit high on these notions of legacy, creativity, vision and absolute luxury. If you could have bottled that vibe you'd have a blockbuster potion no one could resist. Everyone sat with this question: how to exude these values in everything we do from answering the phone to making eye-contact to acknowledge someone even if we are busy helping someone else? How to treat ourselves with this same level of awareness so that in our interactions with each other (both other employees and the clients we serve), that vibe becomes the defining quality of the interaction. Yes, even in conflict.

Here are a couple practices you can use to get YOURSELF into your highest level of functioning at work:

1. What does the organization you work for stand for? Whether you work for SAP and deliver networking solutions or you work in food services and serve meals on trays, there are elements of grace and dignified service that are expressed by what you do and where you work. WebMD employees are a great example - they could see themselves as just working at an internet site or they could remember that this service makes valuable information available to countless people. Both interpretations are true - yet one reveals the grace and importance of their work while the other obscures it. I guarantee you it matters to how they feel about their work, how they produce and what kind of day they usually have. Look at your own job and identify those elements.


2. Ask yourself which of those elements most resonate with YOU. At Disney for example, employees are led through an exercise to identify which character most reflects their values - you can do a similar exercise for yourself. What about where you work got you there to begin with? If having a job period is what got you there, what about the work of your organization holds beauty to you? I call this the Point of Highest Resonance


3. Remind yourself of that Point of Highest Resonance on your way to work, and in the midst of conducting the tasks that are your work. Answering the phone. Responding to a colleague. How does that resonance come alive in everything you do - by doing this you literally bottle that highest vibe within yourself and emanate it with other people.

By using these highest values as an organizing principle as you contribute your energy, intelligence and self to your work, work becomes an outlet for self expression that is inextricably linked to feeling a sense of purpose, whether you've ever thought of it that way or not. Wisdom traditions teach us that Karma is the law of action, and work is another field of your action.

You've got the concept, now work it. Moving through the last week of this series, notice when your action is required at any given moment, and see how it feels to allow yourself to resonate with it at a higher level. Notice when your work calls upon you to create a solution. No matter how mundane the problem or simple the solution, notice that you can respond with a low appraisal of your work, your contribution, your life, or you can choose to embody a higher value for all of the above. Notice that no matter your role, the challenges of your day invite your imagination of other possibilities whether you see it that way or not. Your consciousness and cognitive powers mean that no matter where you are or what your role, it is up to you to make the difference in how you go about whatever it is you do for work.

Be well,

Tevis

IMYJOB - The Series:

• Jobs: Love The One You're With
• Black Holes & Illumination
• Employee ID: Work As Self-Expression
• Rut, Routine or Ritual?
• The Difference is YOU

Related Topics:

• Mind, Body, Spirit: Member Discussion
• The Good Life Neighborhood
• Emotional Wellness - get helpful tips in your inbox

Rut, Routine or Ritual?

IMYJOB: Week 3

You know the drill. With some variation we all experience the following: Alarm. Arise. Bathe. Eat. Drink. Leave. Arrive. Work. When I was in college a popular band called The Godfathers reduced it to a stultifying Birth, School, Work, Death. It was their only hit. The Police captured it beautifully in their drudgery anthem Synchronicity II, and even Francis Ford Coppola says you'd better love what you do because "eventually you will hate it".

Because humans are pattern-makers both in terms of how our brains organize information and how we structure our lives, the workaday mentality is an inevitable one. But equally true, our nervous systems are wired to respond to chaos. Any fitness trainer will tell you that the human body responds best when dealing with uncertainty and will intentionally sequence exercises to wake the body up. Despite first-day-of-school reluctance to step into new situations, we crave both the security of the predictable and the excitement of the unknown. Having both is dependent upon how you cultivate your own sense of presence no matter which seems dominant on any given day.

To convert the hum-drum of everyday, you have to see your day with new eyes. The words "rut" and "routine" might easily describe the patterned events and actions you take everyday, but when held with a sense of appreciation and presence these very same events can bring a elements of comfort, connection and community.

• Savor the Sacred - What ARE the sacred moments in your day? What are the small pleasures that you experience because of the routine of your day? The sacred doesn't have to involve chanting, incense, or some other more esoteric ritual, although it might. It does require you look at your day as a series of patterned actions that create ritual, no matter how mundane they might seem.


• Patterns of Pleasure - Chances are the routines you experience have evolved from countless repeated choices you make based upon what gives you pleasure. Your morning beverage of choice; the route to work; what you read or listen to while in transit; pleasure can even be found in how you settle into your work-space. We all have endless small pleasures sprinkled throughout our days, often without notice due to the constant chatter of the brain. Take an inventory of your work-pattern pleasures this week.


• Cultivate Community - From the moment you awaken, how does your work create opportunity for beauty, for connection with others, for resolution, for rest? Is it saying hello to a neighbor as you collect the paper from outside? Is it the joke with the barista when you get your morning jo? Might the shared pre-meeting personal anecdote actually be a moment of connection? Is welcoming a new team member secretly a moment of compassion and kindness?

Anything from preparing for a meeting to organizing the things on your desk can be seen as creating order and ritual. When viewed with a beauty-seeking eye, any given day is full of sacred, pleasurable moments. By recognizing these moments of connection and sacred beauty in midst of the absurdly mundane, we elevate our work experience from being "what I do to get paid", to being another venue in which to experience the delight of being alive.

Be well,

Tevis

IMYJOB - The Series:

• Jobs: Love The One You're With
• Black Holes & Illumination
• Employee ID: Work As Self-Expression
• Rut, Routine or Ritual?
• The Difference is YOU

Related Topics:

• Mind, Body, Spirit: Member Discussion
• The Good Life Neighborhood
• Emotional Wellness - get helpful tips in your inbox

Black Holes & Illumination

IMYJOB: Week 1


Borrowing from 12-step wisdom, one of the biggest leaps you can make towards loving your any area of life – work included – is admitting that you are a part of the problem. What problem? Well, whatever you consider to be the problem. All too often we hold a magnifying glass to the world looking for evidence of how we think things are and judging them according to how we think they SHOULD be rather than simply being present with how they are. And let's face it: until you are appointed as chief designer of the universe, the contrast between how you think things should be and how things are is often a vast one, that open empty space between the two often filled with discontentment. This week offers exercises to help you dive into that gap.

Let's get clear about a couple of things. Loving your job does not mean you think everything or everyone is perfect there. Loving your job DOES mean that your involvement with whatever is going on, imperfections and all, is not a source of unhappiness or resignation. Instead, held with love and commitment, the challenges you find are calls to action, catalysts of effort, and starter flames for investment of passion and cultivation of compassion.

Think about it this way: most of us can think of people who have "black hole" areas in their lives. A black hole area is an area in which they don't have much success or satisfaction, and when you hear them talk about it there's not really an upside present. For one friend it might be money. For another it might be romantic relationships. The possibilities are very broad, and can even be boiled down to specific phobias or discomforts such as heights, public places, being out of control, etc. These black hole areas are like neon indicators pointing to our most unconscious but limiting perspectives, ones that put us at odds with what IS, and each of us has them.

Oftentimes the black hole areas of others are much more obvious to us than our own, and offer great insight into the power of deeply held beliefs. For example: let's say I have lots of healthy friendships with women I admire and respect and then I meet a woman who tells me she struggles with friendships with women. I would be able to see her black hole as a black hole and experience my own wisdom in that area, while she might simply feel it as a foregone conclusion that by nature women are not trustworthy, loyal, supportive, etc. Multiplying this awareness opportunity over the countless people you encounter over the course of your day, conscious observation of your own mindset and the mindsets of others is a great step towards choosing ones that free you up from judging the world around you and reposition you as simply learning from it.

You may have heard conventional wisdom that the definition of insanity is "doing something over and over again, expecting a different result." The "doing" in this case is how we perceive the world around us and offers a key to creating powerful shifts. This week, apply this practice to the subject of WORK, looking for black holes and opportunities for illumination:

1. Begin to take note of how people in your life talk about work. Is it positive? Is there expansive curiosity or limiting judgment? Notice how many times you detect resignation, indignation, or other less than expansive states of being when the issues of work are involved. Direct this inquiry to your own inner circle: how do your parents or other primary life influences talk about work? Friends? As a parent, how do you talk to your children or other young people about work?
2. How many expansive or life-affirming attitudes do you encounter about work and how many times do you experience "black-holes"? As you survey these attitudes about work, notice your inner response to their attitudes. When speaking to people who express well-being and positive attitudes towards work, do you feel at ease or like running to your most reliable venting-partner? When you hear negativity about work, does it affirm your world view or bum you out? Responses can be a mixture of both, just get in the practice of NOTICING.
3. As you conduct transactions and commerce at work and in life, what do you notice about the attitudes of the people you come into contact with? That barista, cashier, call-center attendant, receptionist, etc., what do you notice about how they go about what they do? How do they handle conflict or less-than-perfect aspects of their jobs? BONUS: how do you engage with and respond to people who seem at peace with what they do?
4. As you take note of all these various attitudes and beliefs, ask yourself who seems happier with themselves and life. Ask yourself who around you seems to have something you can learn from in order to better your relationship with work. Remembering that whatever we focus on grows, allow yourself to take note of moments in which you are with people who are at peace with what they do (no matter how simple/menial/unglamorous/poorly compensated). Focusing on their energy, their language, and their overall sense of peace, what happens inside of you when you allow yourself to be present to their state of being?

By observing examples of black holes and illumination, you can begin to cultivate a greater relationship with illumination and greater awareness of your own black holes. If you are getting together with a group or undertaking this practice on your own, either in writing or in moments of reflection, honor your own process by considering carefully what you have observed and what you can learn from it. Resist the urge to dismiss another's state of well being as "unintelligent" or otherwise invalid. Instead, focus upon what they get and what they give out in terms of peace of mind and satisfaction. Is there some aspect of their way of being you can try on from time to time this week?

Be well,

Tevis

IMYJOB - The Series:

• Jobs: Love The One You're With
• Black Holes & Illumination
• Employee ID: Work As Self-Expression
• Rut, Routine or Ritual?
• The Difference is YOU

Related Topics:

• Mind, Body, Spirit: Member Discussion
• The Good Life Neighborhood
• Emotional Wellness - get helpful tips in your inbox

Identity In Action: What You Do Is Who You Are

Photo: Tevis Rose Trower

"I triceratops therefore I am" loomed on a bus-stop billboard outside the grocery store near my apartment for weeks. The picture of the toddler making dinosaur claws with his small hands was cropped at the head, emphasizing his t-shirted little body and reinforcing that same message that what he does is who he is. Every time I passed it, though puzzling at the grammar, I simultaneously loved the notion of the little guy's joy captured there to inspire others. This "I summer Friday therefore I am" soon followed, as well as "I little black dress therefore I am" and "I dine after nine therefore I am". The campaign's objective was to remind us of the diversity of activities and individuals that make New York City great, but it also begs a bigger question: what actions define who you are?

After decades of "I shop therefore I am", economic realities are forcing many of us to rethink not only how we spend our money and time, but how we find the bearings of our identity when our former occupations have fallen to the wayside. I'm not just talking about brushing your teeth or balancing the checkbook. When we define ourselves with an emphasis upon the actions that produce positive feelings and enhance our self esteem, we create a go-to list of things we can do to give us a needed lift when we need it most. We also gain a more accurate sense of priorites when making choices how to spend our precious moments.

Try this: Each time you shift from one activity to another, notice your enjoyment level of whatever has just been completed. If it has produced a postive feeling, acknowledge it with an affirmative statement. In quiet moments, take inventory of the activities that bring truly positive feelings.

For the past week I've identified the following: I take my time walking my dog therefore I am. I discover new music therefore I am. I catch up with clients therefore I am. I take time to smile at people therefore I am. I meditate therefore I am. I work out therefore I am. I smell flowers therefore I am. I beautify my home therefore I am. I yoga therefore I am.

It's a small but powerful practice, I promise you that. Between running errands, observing the world situation unfolding and managing all the little relational challenges present in any life, this practice of recognizing catalysts for good feelings around you not only shifts your inner mantra, but literally calms your nervous system with reminders of wellbeing. I've been surprised how many things I might not categorize as being pleasant that actually are (paying bills), and just as surprised at how many things I might automatically pop into the pleasant category that actually aren't. The shuffling of items on my own inner to do list has been remarkable, showing a gap between what I assume I enjoy and what I ACTUALLY feel pleasure in doing.

Give it a try and let me know how you triceratops.

Be well,

Tevis

Related Topics:

• Mind, Body, Spirit: Member Discussion
• The Good Life Neighborhood
• Emotional Wellness - get helpful tips in your inbox

Practice Peace NOW

You never know where passion for work will show up. I remember during jury duty this past year the guy who ran the jury pool had such dignity about him and respect for every person with whom he spoke, I couldn't bear to be dismissed and leave the municipal court building without complimenting him. He told me that he took the job because he loves people, and he loves creating order and clarity. This is a fairly common sensibility. That he remembers it each and every time he takes the microphone to address a couple hundred resentful Manhattanites forced to serve jury duty is the remarkable part.

He's not alone in this. I've been thinking about how often I encounter a restaurant server or customer support rep who manages to have a smile in their voice and convey respect for themselves and me in their words - it really is amazing.

Photo: Tevis Rose Trower

Just last week after teaching an early morning corporate yoga class, I ducked into NYC's Angelo David Salon for a WAY overdue trim and was delighted to find myself in the presence of a stylist who reminded me of exactly this. Meagan Frayne popped me in her chair and started talking to me about aspects of my hair, health, image and self-esteem that made me feel better.

I asked her what made her so alive in what she does and she said to me, "Sure, I'm just cutting someone's hair, but that someone may go days on end without anyone really making eye contact, listening to them, or inviting them to relax. If I can really be present with them and give them the peace of my presence, I may not be making world peace, but I'm inviting peace into their world and keeping it in my own."

Great information aside, what really made me feel better is that behind the perspective and data, Meagan knows that the quality of our days is comprised by the experiences we have moment to moment.

Peace NOW is right. I'll be back for more.

Be well,

Tevis

Related Topics:

• Finding Peace
• Mind, Body, Spirit: Member Discussion
• The Good Life Neighborhood
• Emotional Wellness - get helpful tips in your inbox

Reminder: Presence Is Required

Photo Credit: Tevis Rose Trower

Memorial Day is always emotional for me. I'm one of those people standing alongside the community parade with a pointedly averted gaze, even behind my sunglasses. I can't talk much at such events, because if I do the words are either a pretense of pleasantry or they are sincere and trigger waterworks and emotional thunder I struggle to control under the words deep in the back of my throat.

Considering what it means to serve is a biggie for me, and not just because I served in the U.S. Army Reserves during college. My politics are pragmatic and tend towards active debate and respect for dissent, perhaps because I've experienced plenty of both throughout my life. Some of the greatest patriots I've ever known have worn uniforms but just as many have not, serving society instead through vocations of non-profit, agriculture, academia, lawyers, corporate jobs complimented with active community service, and self-employment in healing arts. I can't think of anyone in my life who isn't watching the dance of change on this planet without a sense of duty, determination to contribute, and desire to help the world evolve and emerge better, wiser and more able to thrive.

So I've wondered what it is that strikes so deeply in my heart at these events. It's not just the soul-piercing whine of the local Irish club's bagpipes or the tender sweetness of Boy & Girl Scouts high-fiving the entire crowd. What single emotion can describe the beauty of little kids cartwheeling down a 20 block parade route perfumed by the unmistakable fragrance of the community pancake sale and burgers off the grill, or the bossy den mothers herding cat-like troops to the sound of the high school marching band - all coming together in a collage of "YES"?

Yes, I would have loved to sleep late that day. I'm sure that lots of folks at that parade had plenty of other stuff they could have done with their day off. But conscious of it or not, there is something to shared experience that we can't emulate online, no matter the Facebook group, myspace page or how LinkedIn we think we are.

In the smallness of any "our town" moment, there's a bigness to participating in our collective - to putting aside personal benefit or well being in support being together in this thing called life. No matter that we debate a given ideology, course of action or the underlying motives, that we choose to show up, to say "yes, count me in," participating in our collective WE is part of how we crawl out of ourselves, shrug off our little lives and into the WE of life itself.

Being there at that parade reminded me of this: it takes being present to experience a WE.

Be well,

Tevis

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Comfort Through the Koshas

Yoga as therapy...

Photo: Jon Fife

If you haven't seen it yet, check out my friend Alana Elias Kornfeld's article in Time Magazine on how the tools of yoga are turning up more and more in therapeutic settings. One of the elements of yoga that was raised by social worker Joan Stenzler in the article is the koshas (Sanskrit) - layers of consciousness. Defined simply, the yogis basically view life not in terms of segmenting between birth, school, work and death, but in terms of a progression from the most manifest or gross to the most subtle. Because the koshas represent an integrated view of the self rather than a compartmentalization of our being across venues, it's a powerful paradigm to us in making choices that will help you feel centered, clear and energized no matter the course of your day.

These five aspects can be understood as layers of self, progressing from the body, energy, mind, intuition, and bliss. Working from gross to subtle, here are some ways to use the guidance of the koshas and take action or karma to support you in living well:

1. Annamaya Kosha - This is literal physical body and includes not only the body you have right now, but all food anywhere on the planet, whether you have eaten it yet or ever will. This collective connection to all physical sustenance invites personal responsibility in how you think about food. Optimizing the Annamaya Kosha means choosing food and physical activities with LIFE and SUSTAINING HEALTH in mind.

• ACTION 1 - Whether you make time for a workout today or not , care for your body in some way. Take 10 minutes for stretches at your desk, get herbal tea instead of latte, walk from the far end of the parking lot or get off the bus/train a stop early. Prepare a simple vegetarian meal at home. Stay connected to the physical self through conscious choice-making.

2. Pranamaya Kosha - Prana is the Sanskrit word for energy, and can be felt instantly in the form of your inhale and exhale. This often unconscious aspect of self is the easy access point for both creating and eliminating patterns of anxiety or tension, peace or joy. How your breath moves is how you move, so take responsibility for mastering it.

• ACTION 2 - Pay attention to your breath flow. Practice regulating it with an emphasis on noticing when you are functioning well and happy, and learning to mimic that breath flow when you are not so happy. Why not make it a practice to check out your breath and lengthen it to a 4 count inhale and 4 count exhale between any two activities. Try it right now.

3. Manamaya Kosha is the mind, including thoughts and emotions. Like it or not, because our thoughts influence our energetic state or prana and our energetic state influences how we feel in our bodies, mental processes directly impact the state of the physical body and the experience of the senses. Think of your mind as a boss that at its best helps you excel but also can make you feel paranoid, edgy, lethargic.

• ACTION 3 - Like the heart pumping blood, the mind works constantly pumping thoughts. Observe your energetic state as a red flag for when your inner boss may need to be called back into line. When you feel yucky, chances are your mind is creating negative thoughts. Then choose two life-affirming words to repeat silently with each breath cycle. After all, don't you want to be a good, supportive boss? Try it right now.

4. Vijnanamaya Kosha is that part of you that is pure knowing. We loosely call it gut, and the book Blink by Malcolm Gladwell explored the many ways this pre-cognitive knowing transcends the logic of thought. This aspect of self simply knows with an ability to evaluate that is beyond linear fact. Essentially clear and positive in nature, this knowing loses strength and influence when muddied by the manas or the mind. If you've ever been argued out of a decision you knew in your gut to be right for you, you know the power of this aspect of yourself.

• ACTION 4 - Respecting this gut sense is a trait of masters of any field of endeavor. To cultivate it, throughout your day imagine you are outside of whatever is unfolding. It is almost watching it like a movie with the awareness of an audience who knows more than the characters. What is it that you truly KNOW? What is the bigger lesson being taught? How is a higher value being revealed?

5. Anandamaya Kosha is the most interior of the koshas and is considered pure self. Ananda means bliss but not the kind of bliss you feel when you get your way or when you're having fun. This is the peace, joy, love that underlies every other aspect of your being. This is the you that you were born as, your natural state, beyond temporary moods, conditions, attitudes, and physical realities. This form of joy just IS and is independent of any external stimulus.

• ACTION 5 - Bliss exists everywhere in the world around us. The natural world offers fantastic instruction in ananda - harmonious being with what IS. Rays of sunshine light up both fields of nature and junkyards. The wind plays with your hair - good hair day or not. Branches of a tree reach into the sky through sun, rain or snow. Water allows itself to freeze, ripple, evaporate or flow. Look for evidence of natural bliss and harmony throughout your day as a reminder of the same within you.

What's great about each of these (and all of them together) is you don't have to redesign your life in to cultivate contentment. Notice the complete absence of any notion of perfection or "having it all". Use the koshas as a tool for navigating your day with clarity and connection as an alternative to the concept of work/life balance which often simply adds to your to do's. By living with mastery in the midst of whatever IS, you become more resilient and resourceful no matter what lies in store. Give it a try, and let me know how it goes.

Be well,

Tevis

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