Counting Your Blessings

Gisela / CC BY-SA 2.0

About a week ago, in a break from 18-hour days filled with consulting, teaching yoga, doing a little day job to make ends meet, and pitching new business, I posted to friends a list of things I've been grateful to discover (or rediscover) as a result of the downturn. Largely in response to the decline in incoming funds, what has increased in the past year is my sense of resourcefulness, my sense of priorities, and my ability to see beauty in the simplest moment. Although it really felt great to write the list for my own benefit, I hesitated to post it. Truth be told, the worry that people might judge me for my struggles crossed my mind more than once.

But of course, life being the generous experience it is, this small act of transparency brought blessings back to me many times over. Friends from around the world emailed and even called to say how much the gratitude list brightened their days. Others posted their own sources of gratitude, ranging from the smallest to the most impactful. My most fashionista friend confessed enjoying scouring sale racks in her drive to maintain her carefully-tended image. Another friend from childhood shared her delight in rediscovering the local free paper as a source for finding great FREE cultural events. Friends in London whose work situation forced them to share an apartment with another professional couple expressed gratitude for the deepening in their friendship and sense of community with this other couple.

All that in perspective, here's my little list:

1. Cortados (Latin lattes probably made with Cafe Bustelo) from little corner bodegas for $1.25.


2. Rockstar haircuts from Chinatown for $25.


3. Levi's AWESOME skinny jeans.


4. Selling stock to make ends meet during a lean spot did not kill me - and recognizing the blessing in having stock to sell!


5. Dry cleaning bags cut into squares make great doggy-curb plastics.


6. Threading instead of waxing saves a LOT of money.


7. Happy hour with friends at home is a lot more relaxing.


8. QiGong from the little underground places is AMAZING and 1/3 the price of a spa massage.


9. I can still paint my own toenails.


10. Making birthday gifts always was and is still more fun.


11. I don't miss frivolous shopping at all.


12. Consignment shops in NYC are full of AMAZING stuff.


13. Coconut oil is a FABULOUS deep conditioner.


14. Theme parties beat lounges hands down.


15. I have more music already than I could ever listen to in a year.


16. My doggy likes broccoli more than doggy treats.


17. This meditation/yoga stuff really works on managing stress and keeping peace of mind.


18. Hot rollers instead of salon blowouts.


19. A puppy who insists we start and end each day with a session of playtime.

Right after posting the list I realized the holiday season is about to kick off with Thanksgiving just next week. While I always love how the holidays give us a reason to draw together, I am already feeling a tender respect for all that I, my friends, and my family have been through in the past year or so. Health, employment, living situations, relationships - just thinking about it inspires a sense of quietness and appreciation. While that list above could go on indefinitely, the thing I'm really happy about is recognizing how full and beautiful my life is at any given moment, and how much grace we all experience in authentically sharing our lives with each other.

Be well,

Tevis

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Perspectives from a Party

Photo: Tevis Rose Trower

Life is a great storyteller - offering moments of insight into the mundane and the sublime, the tragedy, beauty and celebration of it all. The great storytellers all do this and it resonates for us because in their observations are embedded the very paradoxes that exist in our own lives.

Last Saturday night, life delivered one such a powerful response to conversations we've all been having about how short life is, and the mandate to overcome obstacles and put yourself fully into whatever you're doing no matter what, where, how or why.

Last Saturday night friend Sheena Mathieken threw a party to celebrate the six month mark of her really cool Uniform Project. In the Uniform Project, Sheena has pledged to wear the same dress every day for a year as an exercise in sustainable fashion. You can go onto her site and see the many ways she has injected creativity into it - looking, as she says, as if accessorized in the "Marquis de Sade's boudoir". She created this initiative as a fundraiser for educational initiatives for kids in slums in India. So far, the effort has won attention from the BBC, Elle, The New York Times, and The Times, London. Slightly over $28K later, with German press at the party and a room full of New York's creative influencers, it's clear Sheena is just getting her engines started.

Updating her about what's up in the world of corporate yogis, the focus on shifting consciousness she laughed, "if it were really about fitness or staying thin, my secret is following your passion AND keeping your day job - I have two full time jobs now and the energy alone is enough!". Even her boss acknowledged the energy this is demanding of her and that she is completely engaged and happy in what she is doing.

But last Saturday night after we left the party, someone in the building apparently fell down an elevator shaft and died. I'm not the first to report this - it's posted on Gothamist and ABC News. The tragedy to the deceased and his circle of loved ones is unimaginable. For the rest of us at the very least it is a powerful reminder to live our lives with passion and purpose, contribution and without complaint.

Which is what Sheena was already doing and hopefully will continue to do. Stressors clear, I'm offering up a prayer that this accident doesn't take Sheena off course either in this project and all the incredible contributions she has yet to make. I'm urging you to go to her site and tell her to keep going and if you have an extra $5 in your bank account make a donation.

The world needs the Sheena's and the you's and the me's to look life in the eye and give all we got while we're here - as you live your own greatest story, don't let anything take that offering off track.

Be well,

Tevis

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Rise & Shine

Photo: Tevis Rose Trower

Walking home from teaching yoga Halloween morning, I passed a team of paraplegic "wheelers" getting ready for the NYC marathon. Twenty strides past this tangible reminder of happenstance and courage gave me pause to consider the ephemeral nature of this little life - that we come in, do some stuff while we're here, experience a lot, then die. Shakespeare captured this sentiment beautifully in The Tempest:

Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd tow'rs, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

Indeed. It seems that the great decider of how we live isn't so much any other person or external influence, but the degree to which we determine how we will rise and approach life, and how we will recognize that we own the choices we make in the midst of the situations we experience.

So how can we move powerfully through this pageant of life? "What doesn't kill you just makes you stronger" is a quote I often heard as a kid growing up in the South. If you can imagine a heavy southern accent as you read that, then you can also imagine my surprise to learn that the famous German existentialist philosopher Frederick Nietsche is credited with first saying it. But even he can't claim originating the sentiment. My meditation teacher Sally Kempton just reminded me of the millenia-old yogic adage that "That by which you fall is that by which you rise", further reinforcing the notion that great wisdom has no nationality, dogma or ethnicity. It's just a simple truth - no membership fee required.

Giving much thought to how to rise, what to grow into, and what about life might feel more "happy-making" if approached a little differently, the approaching holidays are a great catalyst for bringing greater awareness to thoughts and intentions, choices and actions. And as much as I've dreamed of a fairy-godmother to make life easier, you don't have to look very far to realize there's not a wisdom teacher out there who says getting rich quick, shirking work, or surrendering your intelligence to situation comedies are paths to happiness.

Inspired by this, I looked at two traditional structures for the aspects of self - Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs" and the yogic Chakra system - and made a map to prepare how to rise, not only through this holiday season but heading powerfully and peacefully into 2010.

Physiological
This level includes how you eat, getting some movement, some sleep, some comfort and downtime, making time for making love, taking care of primary physical self care such as dentist and yearly checkups, and yes, even simply heeding "nature's call" in a timely manner rather than putting it off after another 20 multitasks. Setting an intention here might include taking care of appointments long postponed, holding holiday drinking in check, packing a lunch rather than hitting the buffet, walking for 20 minutes before eating lunch, and making sure to take 10 minutes to breathe and center from time to time throughout the week. What can you identify that you need to remember on the physiological level?

Safety/Personal Power
This level relates to how well you stay connected to yourself in the midst of expansion into relationships including family, social and work. For many of us this brings up issues with over-committing, seeking approval or (the secret backside issue) forcing our will on others, judging ourselves or others, and any interaction with others that results in a power play rather than simply experiencing each other from a place of mutual respect and free-will. One way to keep yourself in that "happy-making" place is by asking yourself what you REALLY want as you consider any given choice. Whether simply determining whether to accept an invitation, or clarifying why you are squabbling with someone, this question will allow you to act on what is most true to you and to refrain from uselessly exerting your truth on someone who may have a different truth.

Heart/Love/Belonging
This is the flip side of the layer before. As an example from some of the most respected schools of coaching, there is an expression that we are all "perfect and whole", and in yoga we acknowledge this with the Sanskrit word "namaste" - loosely translated as the wisdom in me recognizes the wisdom in you. This doesn't mean we agree or even like each other, it simply means we give ourselves and others around us permission to exist exactly as we are. One way to practice this is to call to mind how it feels to observe an argument between two people you respect and admire equally seeing both sides as valid. That objectivity is a perspective you can cultivate in your own conflicts.

Self Expression/Communication
This layer is related to how we honor what matters most to us. How can you honor how you find meaning through this holiday season? Throughout your life? Taking the holiday example - maybe ritual is lost on you, but helping others means a lot. Maybe that means you spend the day volunteering and meeting others who share that value or inviting your family along or talking to them about why it means so much to you. Maybe you take on an issue you care about and blog about it. Maybe you join an organization that gives expression to issues you care deeply about. Think about it: over the next few weeks what could you commit to doing that really holds meaning for you? What about in the new year?

Self Actualization/Clarity
Self-actualization/clarity are often misunderstood as being really decisive or set in your ways. However, that way of being can only exist within artificial limits. For us to be fully alive, we have to stay awake to the dynamic world around us. Albert Einstein may have captured this best saying,

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us "universe", a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

In this aspect of self, your responsibility is to move purposefully outside of the limiting circle of your known experiences and cultivate new inputs, new ideas, find new perspectives and take new actions as your knowledge evolves. What can you do in support of this over the next few weeks? In the new year?

Remembering how short and precious life really is, get up. Rise. Make the most of it while you're here.

Be well,

Tevis

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• Mind, Body, Spirit: Member Discussion
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Giving Up & Gaining

What could you give up that would actually be a huge GAIN?

After the silence practice we offered earlier this week, some colleagues piped in with other things they have given up and in doing so benefited. In comparing notes, we came up with other give ups/gains that are worth trying.

Here are a few you can try:

Give Up Transacting/Gain Feeling Sufficient: Take a moratorium on shopping, not to fix the economy - goodness knows there are so many opinions on that one, I'll kindly leave that debate to the economists. The benefit of abstaining from transactions of any sort is you have the opportunity to observe how spending is a HABIT, and how frequently our assumption is "I spend, therefore I am" as if somehow we are not enough or not valid without our constant drive to acquire more, more, more. Pick a day, or even a couple of hours in which you will simply exist, without the spending. Not on a latte. Not on a smoothie. Not on a new car. Not on those shoes. Remind yourself that even when not spending, YOU ARE and you are sufficient exactly as you are.

Give Up Electricity/Gain Connection to Nature: If you've ever been in a blackout, you know there's something primordial about spending time without using electricity. Inspired by the blackout in NYC a couple of years ago, whenever possible I make it my practice to resist using lights and letting daylight brighten my home as I get ready. The calming effect of feeling the day unfold and watching light gain momentum makes a noticeable contrast when for whatever reason I have to speed up my process and put my house in the "on" position.

Give Up Plastic/Gain Participation: My friend Montine Blank co-started a non-profit called GreenPlate to raise awareness around how much plastic is used in the restaurant business. It all started when she learned about a blob of trash somewhere in the Pacific gyre that is twice the size of Texas and growing. Feeling overwhelmed by the immensity of this, she decided to begin to intentionally request alternatives to plastic whenever possible - and so it's foil, paper, and cardboard ever since. Although this choice eventually led to a professional life change, it really began by giving up something we all consume mindlessly. The gain: conscious participation in helping the planet.

Give Up Television/Gain Culture: When I was a little kid, our TV broke and my mother refused to buy another one. Instead she took the money she would have spent on a new TV and for the next 5 years she bought us any book we wanted, subscriptions to local theater, and found magazines that would inspire us and teach us about the world. Although this was horrifying to my socially-oriented 11-year-old self, I look back upon those years with such gratitude and attribute my lack of media addiction to her radical choice.

What have you given up and found yourself gaining for having done so?

Be well,

Tevis

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Be Quiet

In the journal Science it was reported back in 2007 that men and women both speak an average of 16,000 words per day. It makes me tired to even think of all those words and for good reason: after all haven't each of us at some point felt talked out, winded and tired of our own voice?

In a recent executive coaching session, I suggested to marketing maven Elizabeth Talerman that rather than talk the entire time we had together and get lost in the flurry of ideas and words, we use a portion of our time in silence as we walked around the reservoir in New York's Central Park. The results: she says the time in intentional silence gave her "complete restoration of calm. It quieted the thoughts blowing and bustling around my brain so I emerged with a sense of clarity and order". All that in a 15 minute period simply intentionally walking in silence - what a bargain! By giving up words, she gained a sense of inner calm.

Give yourself a dose of inner calm. Try these ways of listening to the sounds of silence within the course of your day:

Silent Morning: See what it is like to get ready for the day in absolute silence. Rather than turning on the TV or music, try listening to the music of morning itself. Whether you live in a rural environment or surrounded by city sounds, by attuning yourself to the rhythms you hear there is a synchronizing of your own energy with that of the world around. Set a limit to when you will begin to indulge in aural distraction again either as speech, TV, music or radio, and before you take the plunge check in with yourself to see how you feel after having been silent.

Silent Meal: Many spiritual lineages include practicing silence at mealtimes. The ability to be fully present to the colors, flavors and textures of your food can deepen your appreciation of each mouthful, and increase your enjoyment in the process. Aside from the potential of satisfying your hunger with less, the benefit of calming your nervous system with a single point of focus is a sweet reward for this practice - so sweet you might just skip dessert!

Silent Walk: The idea of taking a walk alone in silence is certainly not a foreign concept. But have you taken a walk with the intention to be silent and the observation of that silence? Try it - even right now - go walk around your office or home intentionally observing the experience. What do you notice? How does it feel? What happens to your nervous system?

Silent Break: Have a particularly noisy work environment? Slip into a conference room or other private space at work and take a 10 minute silence break. Be creative to find a good place to practice this - my old boss used to sneak out to his car to get a few minutes of silence. Once there, simply sit and observe the stillness all around you. If you feel uncomfortable or fidgety at first, stick with it for the full 10 minutes. Keep reminding yourself to relax and be, surrendering to the silence and stillness.

Be sure to share the radical power of silence by inviting your family or a friend to experience silence with you in any of the above practices. Think about it: we usually say we want to get together and talk, but the intimacy of shared silence is often the most satisfying way to spend time together. Got kids? Great, make it a game for them. Let me know how it goes!

Be well,

Tevis

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• Mind, Body, Spirit: Member Discussion
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Job Search Sanity

Pamela Skillings

I was recently lucky enough to serve on a panel on career options at Right Management with several brilliant entrepreneurs including a dear colleague, Pamela Skillings. Pam's book, Escape from Corporate America: A Practical Guide to Creating the Career of Your Dreams, was perfectly timed to remind folks of their options at the height of the boom. And now that so many professionals are being forced to consider alternative paths, she has given lots of thought to navigating change when it's hasn't occurred by choice.

"I spend a lot of time with job hunters on a daily basis. Many of them are overworked, stressed-out, and on the verge of burnout. That's because managing a career transition really is a full-time job - and it can be an exhausting, demeaning, and thankless full-time job at that", she commented after the panel.

From the feedback from participants, it's really true. Overwhelming to-do lists of calls to make, resumes to send, job listings to comb through, cover letters to customize, and networking events to attend leave very little time for self-care. And in today's competitive and challenging job market, positive reinforcement or any sense of accomplishment are a rare occurrence, but desperately needed to keep the search energized and effective. Add very real anxieties about finances to doubts about contribution, identity and self-worth, and you've got to take action.

Here's what Pam suggests:

1. Stop taking rejection personally. Easier said than done, but you must understand that the current job market is challenging for everyone. It is going to take you longer to find a great gig and you are going to get rejected. That's just a fact. And the fact that you're out of work is no reflection on your worth as an employee or as a human being. Almost everyone has been through a layoff these days. It's a rite of passage. So stop torturing yourself with "shoulds" - you "should" have a new job by now or "should" have aced that interview. The only way to find a great new job is to keep putting yourself out there to be rejected.


2. Structure your days. It's easy to lose track of time when you're staring at job listings (or when you're avoiding the painful prospect of staring at job listings). The best way to keep your momentum going is to schedule your days. Put together a proactive plan and allot time for your different career transition tasks and other important pursuits (see below).


3. Get moving. Make time for exercise and get sweaty on a regular basis. Pick something that forces you to focus all of your attention on the moment (like yoga or my personal favorite, spin class). It's good for your body and it's a very necessary break for your mind.


4. Ask for help. Job searching can be a lonely pursuit. Form a casual support group of friends and/or former colleagues who are also looking. You can help each other with practical things like job leads and resume tips. More importantly, you can get some much-needed emotional support from people who know what you're going through. Sometimes, you just need to vent to someone who understands and won't judge. Find some people like that and connect with them on a regular basis.


5. Boost your own self-esteem. When you're dealing with regular rejection and frustration, it's important to find time for activities that actually make you feel good about yourself. Find some energizing and motivating activities to work into your structured schedule (see number 2). These activities can include exercise (see #3) or spending time with supportive friends (see #4). You could also look for an inspiring volunteer project or an interesting class. Both of these options will help you exercise your brain, remind you of your talents, and probably make you more marketable to employers too.

And after you DO find a gig, be sure to keep these practices up - they are a great formula for worklife satisfaction for anyone!

Be well,

Tevis

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Take a Clarity Break

When companies started cutting back earlier this year and we began to feel the impact of reductions in client spending, the folks on my team agonized over more than what it meant to each of us professionally and financially.

We lamented that in the midst of crisis, worklife management practices are exactly what we all need to stay clear in the midst of mayhem, grounded while confronting uncertainty, and energized while taking on ever increasing tasks and responsibilities.

That said, we created this little Clarity Break you can do anytime to reconnect with yourself and keep yourself at your best:

• Instant Energy - Either sitting or standing make sure you have enough room to move your arms freely. Keep your elbows soft and flex your biceps, making tight fists with both hands. Raise them overhead inhaling. Exhale sharply and draw your elbows back to where you started. Do this three times and return to your normal breath. Notice how LITTLE it takes to stimulate energy and sensation throughout your body. Repeat whenever you want to increase your energy FAST.

• Ground UP - Uncross your legs. Make sure your feet are placed on the ground no wider than your hips distance apart (if your feet don't reach the floor lower your chair or find a lower chair to do this practice). Scoot your backside as far back into your seat as you can and then lift your torso just slightly away from the back of your chair so you are sitting as vertically as possible. Push your feet directly downwards into the floor and feel the solidness of the foundation beneath you and let it remind you that you are supported by the world around you. You will instantly feel energy travel from the earth upward, drawing in your belly and lengthening your spine for deeper breathing.

• Centered Mind - Keeping your Ground Up posture, try this easy trick for drawing your mind out of the minutiae of your day. Hold your left hand palm facing upward right at your belly button. Hold your right hand palm facing down right at your sternum. With elbows soft, breathe deep and remind yourself that you are not your thoughts or worries. Draw your awareness out of the incessant chatter of your mind and focus fully on the centered space framed by your hands breathing fully into the expanse of your torso. Remember that experience of the life within you is always available no matter the conditions of life around you.

We've taught this little routine 1:1 to CEOs and to hundreds of employees at a time, and have always been thrilled by the before and after comparison - dull goes to shiny, listless goes to alert. Try it alone or get a couple co-workers to try it with you. In this economy it sure beats a $4 latte.

Be well,

Tevis

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Comfort Through the Koshas

Yoga as therapy...

Photo: Jon Fife

If you haven't seen it yet, check out my friend Alana Elias Kornfeld's article in Time Magazine on how the tools of yoga are turning up more and more in therapeutic settings. One of the elements of yoga that was raised by social worker Joan Stenzler in the article is the koshas (Sanskrit) - layers of consciousness. Defined simply, the yogis basically view life not in terms of segmenting between birth, school, work and death, but in terms of a progression from the most manifest or gross to the most subtle. Because the koshas represent an integrated view of the self rather than a compartmentalization of our being across venues, it's a powerful paradigm to us in making choices that will help you feel centered, clear and energized no matter the course of your day.

These five aspects can be understood as layers of self, progressing from the body, energy, mind, intuition, and bliss. Working from gross to subtle, here are some ways to use the guidance of the koshas and take action or karma to support you in living well:

1. Annamaya Kosha - This is literal physical body and includes not only the body you have right now, but all food anywhere on the planet, whether you have eaten it yet or ever will. This collective connection to all physical sustenance invites personal responsibility in how you think about food. Optimizing the Annamaya Kosha means choosing food and physical activities with LIFE and SUSTAINING HEALTH in mind.

• ACTION 1 - Whether you make time for a workout today or not , care for your body in some way. Take 10 minutes for stretches at your desk, get herbal tea instead of latte, walk from the far end of the parking lot or get off the bus/train a stop early. Prepare a simple vegetarian meal at home. Stay connected to the physical self through conscious choice-making.

2. Pranamaya Kosha - Prana is the Sanskrit word for energy, and can be felt instantly in the form of your inhale and exhale. This often unconscious aspect of self is the easy access point for both creating and eliminating patterns of anxiety or tension, peace or joy. How your breath moves is how you move, so take responsibility for mastering it.

• ACTION 2 - Pay attention to your breath flow. Practice regulating it with an emphasis on noticing when you are functioning well and happy, and learning to mimic that breath flow when you are not so happy. Why not make it a practice to check out your breath and lengthen it to a 4 count inhale and 4 count exhale between any two activities. Try it right now.

3. Manamaya Kosha is the mind, including thoughts and emotions. Like it or not, because our thoughts influence our energetic state or prana and our energetic state influences how we feel in our bodies, mental processes directly impact the state of the physical body and the experience of the senses. Think of your mind as a boss that at its best helps you excel but also can make you feel paranoid, edgy, lethargic.

• ACTION 3 - Like the heart pumping blood, the mind works constantly pumping thoughts. Observe your energetic state as a red flag for when your inner boss may need to be called back into line. When you feel yucky, chances are your mind is creating negative thoughts. Then choose two life-affirming words to repeat silently with each breath cycle. After all, don't you want to be a good, supportive boss? Try it right now.

4. Vijnanamaya Kosha is that part of you that is pure knowing. We loosely call it gut, and the book Blink by Malcolm Gladwell explored the many ways this pre-cognitive knowing transcends the logic of thought. This aspect of self simply knows with an ability to evaluate that is beyond linear fact. Essentially clear and positive in nature, this knowing loses strength and influence when muddied by the manas or the mind. If you've ever been argued out of a decision you knew in your gut to be right for you, you know the power of this aspect of yourself.

• ACTION 4 - Respecting this gut sense is a trait of masters of any field of endeavor. To cultivate it, throughout your day imagine you are outside of whatever is unfolding. It is almost watching it like a movie with the awareness of an audience who knows more than the characters. What is it that you truly KNOW? What is the bigger lesson being taught? How is a higher value being revealed?

5. Anandamaya Kosha is the most interior of the koshas and is considered pure self. Ananda means bliss but not the kind of bliss you feel when you get your way or when you're having fun. This is the peace, joy, love that underlies every other aspect of your being. This is the you that you were born as, your natural state, beyond temporary moods, conditions, attitudes, and physical realities. This form of joy just IS and is independent of any external stimulus.

• ACTION 5 - Bliss exists everywhere in the world around us. The natural world offers fantastic instruction in ananda - harmonious being with what IS. Rays of sunshine light up both fields of nature and junkyards. The wind plays with your hair - good hair day or not. Branches of a tree reach into the sky through sun, rain or snow. Water allows itself to freeze, ripple, evaporate or flow. Look for evidence of natural bliss and harmony throughout your day as a reminder of the same within you.

What's great about each of these (and all of them together) is you don't have to redesign your life in to cultivate contentment. Notice the complete absence of any notion of perfection or "having it all". Use the koshas as a tool for navigating your day with clarity and connection as an alternative to the concept of work/life balance which often simply adds to your to do's. By living with mastery in the midst of whatever IS, you become more resilient and resourceful no matter what lies in store. Give it a try, and let me know how it goes.

Be well,

Tevis

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Time For a Time Out - Spring Break '09

Over the past few weeks, something interesting has been happening. Maybe among your friends and family as well - all around me folks are disappearing for varying lengths of time. Some absences have been pre-announced and well planned, others impromptu with only an OOO message on their voicemail or email. One friend cashed in her miles to hang out at an orphanage in India. My sister scored an unbelievable deal on a week at an oceanside condo. As for me, planning on spending one week at a lake house, within hours of arriving I realized not a day less than two weeks would do. Whether the result of schoolday life patterns or responding something far more ancient within us, we're all responding to this one powerful longing: SPRING BREAK.

The phrase alone is pretty evocative - even typing it I can smell suntan lotion and the salty waft of a beachside fish fry. But if blowing a couple benjamins on frivolity isn't in your cards right now, checking in with both the employed and unemployed in my circle of friends yielded some great ideas as to how anyone can take a break and feel a little spring in their soul, no matter the financials or time available.

1. 

   Photo: Tevis Rose Trower
   
   Beauty Break: No matter if you're strapped for time or money, taking a 20 minute Beauty Break can be just the thing you need to pick up your spirits and revive yourself. Here's how it works: leave your house or office (if you know you lack discipline to keep the time for yourself, also leave your cell phone and anything else that beeps or vibrates) and decide that you are going to pointedly notice ANYTHING and EVERYTHING of beauty along your walk. As you walk, the more you notice the grace of light across the landscape, the strength of roots bursting through the earth or concrete, human-created and countless other forms of beauty, and the more alive you will be to all that is around you. Bonus: One friend who tried it says it made her FEEL more beautiful in the process.


2. Springtime Silence: Often we simply need to slow down and feel our own presence. Neighborhood churches, temples and synagogues offer fantastic respite from the day to day, no matter what your own personal belief system entails. The silence and stillness of these spaces is a great teacher for cultivating more peace within.


3. Do As Tourists Do: Even small cities often provide resources to help tourists get the most out of their visit. But as locals, how many of us actually indulge in seeing our own sites? Check out your local chamber of commerce for tourist resources such as guided walks, local history, architectural information, etc. Then give yourself a day or so to relax and really soak in the very environment you call home. Use this tactic when you've got between half a day to few days to play with.


4. Weekend Escape: Plan an immersion weekend including local parks, galleries - go ahead and daydream all the things you WOULD do on a weekend away! Sleep late or get up early, take walks or do nothing at all. Unplug the phone and cancel anything that does not conform with your desired escapist state of mind. Whatever your ideal weekend is, plan it while being at home and refuse to break the escape. Hint: If you get interrupted with a non-vacation interaction with someone that doesn't know you're on vacation, just TELL THEM!


5. Swapping: Yes. Swap houses. Chances are someone in your extended circle needs a week off as well. A couple friends and I are swapping places, Manhattan for South Beach - we're both thrilled. Put the offer on Facebook or whatever social network you use and get away from what you look at all the time. Then while you're away, if you need help unwinding, try options 1-4.

Feeling burnt out? Can't seem to get anything moving? Stop. Stop trying. Just stop. When your energy is stuck, it is just that - stuck. When you need a shift and nothing seems to be cooperating, you must make that shift within yourself.

Break away. You don't have to blow all your airline miles or miss scheduled work. It can be for a single day or even a few hours. And you don't have to spend a dime. No matter your budget or situation, this urge for renewal is of highest importance. Recognizing this need is an auspicious moment - high and holy. Though your "to do's" may be difficult to ignore and seemingly urgent, when approaching them with renewed energy after even a day of reconnection to yourself, you will be so much more present in their undertaking.

Whatever you do, take a break.

Be well,

Tevis

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7 Steps to the Worklife Wisdom Within

Walk into any bookstore or browse magazine titles, and no matter the worklife topic there's a guru waiting to tell you how you could be better in any given area. Many of us don't even have to go so far as to look at the media: there are plenty of well-intentioned folks in our families and social circles just waiting to explain how much more perfect life would be only if they were calling the shots.

Between dreams of change and feeling bad about not having already achieved them, taking the time to look to the experts isn't always what gets us moving. Often we feel stymied by conflicting approaches, confused by the language, turned off by examples that don't resonate, or road-blocked because the advice given isn't applicable to individual life situations. What's even worse: looking for external direction on achieving goals can disempower the voice of wisdom within, damaging our relationship with ourselves along the way. Layering unrealistic advice on top of already busy lives, the concept of worklife satisfaction can be overwhelming.

Your life is best designed and created by YOU. Betting that the greatest motivation and wisdom actually come from within, lately I've been practicing the following approach to get out of this Guru Voodoo. Truth be told, peer behind any wizard's curtain and they are made of the same human flesh as you and I, with similarly humbling experiences in every venue of life. Comparing and contrasting that although Jessica Simpson's weight loss seems to be the result of a magic wand, for most of us life change happens because we take ownership of our goals and responsibility for getting there. I call this tool Just1Thing^© because most desired life changes happen in little tiny steps:

1. Look at your life - chances are there are areas in which you know you want to make changes. Think of your life in six aspects - Financial, Body, Love, Work, Social, Intellectual/Spiritual.


2. As you look at that list, allow each of the words so speak to your life directly. Sure, the media might say you should shed a few sizes, or you should have a couple grand stashed away. But given the scope of your life as YOU experience it, in what area do you feel most desire for change?


3. Pick the area in which you feel the most energetic response to the possibility for change. You may feel this in your gut or like a strong "heck yes!" in your mind. Write it down on the top of a page. What do you want in that area - name the changes you would like and don't be shy about it.


4. Chances are, no matter what area you picked, you have been gathering information about that aspect of life for YEARS. From knowing that using credit cards can lead you into trouble to knowing that it's a good idea to walk from the farthest spot in the parking lot rather than fighting for the closest, no matter the area there are usually 20-30 things each of us ALREADY know to do to make a shift if we just recognize that wisdom and take action.


5. Brainstorm it - whether you'd like to improve your health, gain or lose weight, get a love life or revamp the one you've got, brainstorm every action you can take to create the shift you desire in that area. Wanna be more social? List what you can do to get out there and meet people. Ask yourself: How would someone who IS social go about their days? Or with Finances: What would being financially responsible look like? Health: What would eating for health mean at home, at a restaurant, at work? Want more stimulation for your brain or spirit: Where can you look to engage more frequently with conversations and ideas that inspire you? These questions are all examples of ways to get beyond your conditioned behaviors and access the wisdom you already have within you. List out all the places you can look to for that both right in your own community and in the virtual world.


6. Chances are in listing out these action steps, you've got some big changes and some little ones. Here's what to do next: break every single item into tiny steps. For example: if you want to lose weight and have "pack my lunch" on your list, break it down into "research healthy lunch options online", "plan week 1 of healthy eating for lunch", "make grocery list", "go to market on Sunday", etc.


7. Do them! Let this Just1Thing^© list direct your movements even if it means only one tiny action per day. When you do one, CELEBRATE - HAVING DONE IT. Enjoy the positive feelings of having acted in your own enlightened self-interest. This recognition of acting upon higher wisdom encourages (ie. gives courage) in making other changes and contributes to shifting your self-image towards one of empowered self-respect.

Einstein is quoted as saying "nothing changes until something moves". Taking a look at the changes you wish for and identifying the moves required are the first steps towards experiencing the life you want.

Be well,

Tevis

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Balance By Any Other Name...

Photo Credit: Tevis Rose Trower

Work-life balance, work/life balance, life balance, life-work balance - how you frame the quest to live a satisfying life is important. Even when naming this blog, the good folks at WebMD and I did many rounds of brainstorming to find a phrase that would best convey a sense of satisfaction in all we do. Ideally we wanted something that would also convey finding harmony among the many things we do in the course of a given day.

Not an easy task given the baggage often associated with balance. In '01 when I first started providing tools to revive the "joie" in people's "vivre" under the moniker of "work/life balance strategist", listening carefully to what employees throughout the country in multiple industries, functions and capacities had to say about "balance" was telling. Rather than understanding it as a framework for finding satisfaction in all we do, there was a prevailing distrust of "balance" as just another media-concocted list of "shoulds" which really meant doing it all under the empty promise of having it all. And who needs another "to do"?

Harmony complicates things further. Think about the adage "Europeans work to live. Americans live to work." In both of these paradigms life is separate from work. Life=good, work=bad. If you're working, you're not living, and if you're not living, well, you must be a bit dead in those moments. Giving into that oppositional way of thinking prevents work from being anything more than an effort at survival. Seeing the 9.1 hours per day spent at work (average according to the US Department of Labor) in such a lifeless way is a far cry from harmonious.

What's missing in conventional views on work, life, balance and satisfaction is the notion that ultimate work is to find peace in whatever we do and to do it fully. All areas of life are just that - areas of life, none more or less worthy than another. As the sources of challenge shift constantly - relational, financial, health, etc. - being present and engaged in everything we do IS the harmony. This approach isn't a "get-the-proportions-of-work-and-family-and-fitness-and-rest-exactly-right-and-everything-will-be-roses" panacea. And by the way, anyone making such a promise better have a magic wand in their briefcase.

Luckily, in our "expert, guru, scientists-say and studies-obsessed" culture, "happiness" has become an official field with plenty of insights to share. Graduate schools and coaching certificate programs focused on the psychology of happiness have emerged in academic and professional development arenas. The good news is that these experts, gurus, scientists and studies agree with what wisdom traditions have long taught: the key to happiness is changing how we think by cultivating a sense of self and connection in whatever we do. Uncertainty in life teaches us this through fluctuating highs, lows and in-betweens. Don't you love convergence?

When I read in February that corporate spending on employee development had already been cut by 11% for the year, the diagnosis I adopted for employee worklife skills in '09 was this: DIY. But clearly balance has always been a do-it-yourself job. As ultimately it is up to each of us to take on the responsibility for our inner state, the DIY is remembering to cultivate presence in all you do.

So Life Works, it is. Because if you look at the world around you, it's true: life does work. Whether a tree doing what it takes to thrive at being a tree, a lion working at being a lion, or the sun doing its job of burning brightly, there is not an element in nature that is not engaged in the doing and being. Doing that is fully present and being connected to the whole - sounds like life and sounds like it works.

Be well,

Tevis

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De-Clutter Your Space, De-Clutter Your Brain

Wish you ruled the world? Why not start with your own little corner of it.

Photo Credit: Kenny Corbin

Amid the turmoil and unpredictability we are all experiencing, controlling the things we CAN may just begin with cleaning out a closet. Yesterday I bumped into New York Magazine's favorite organizer Erica Ecker, with whom I have collaborated on corporate worklife projects in the past. She commented, "With the world so obviously in a tailspin, people are looking to control what they CAN - their own personal space. Also, because many people are spending much more time at home, they want it to be a place of renewal and calm".

Wondering if others in the "space" profession are having a similar experience, I reached out for another collaborator, recent Oprah-guest, simplicity-advocate and old friend Mary Carlomagno to see what she's got to say about making space. Just back from her book tour in support of her most recent title, Secrets of Simplicity, she concurs that the benefits of making order are far beyond the external space and calm. "Lao Tzu says when space is created, something new will come in. And by that I don't mean a new pair of shoes! Within all this economic downturn and turmoil, there is a real opportunity for growth, for hope."

It occurred to me that I have been purging belongings quite a bit lately. It started with moving after my divorce and has continued as I got hooked on the feeling of spaciousness and non-attachment. The simple practice of letting go of physical belongings has been an outward expression of letting go of old ideas about myself and the world around me - a real catharsis for both my home and my heart. The resulting calm feels like grace.

Take these simple steps in making space:

1. Not sure where to begin with a completely cluttered room? Start with the raw space. Take everything out of the room and before placing it back in. Be brutal, making each item earn its readmission to the room. Invite a friend or family member over to act as judge and jury.


2. Eliminate the clutter from the bottom up. If you cannot see your path, how can you move forward?


3. Value the relationship, not the item. Think about what's really important. Can a chest of drawers really replace a loved one? It is nice to keep reminders, mementos, and family heirlooms, but not if they keep stuck in the past.


4. Think "need" not "price". Often we remember how much was spent on an item and delay the trip to the curb in hopes we make good on the spend. Don't. You won't. Let bygones be bygones.


5. Open your mail. And read it. A major source of clutter cited by both experts is unopened and unread mail - and stories abound of sums erroneously charged on accounts then recovered, checks waiting to be cashed, etc. Decluttering your desk or credenza may just bulk up your bank balance.

How can you relax after a stressful day at the office or of pounding the pavement when you return home to a cluttered environment? As Erica commented, "decluttering your space means decluttering your brain." By eliminating that mad scramble for your keys or any other item, you've spared yourself loads of unnecessary anxiety. Save yourself this precious energy and take care of your personal space. Cultivating calm around you, you increase your internal reserves so you can invest more wisely in cultivating your life.

Be well,

Tevis

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Baby's Breath

Photo: Kyle Pearce

As much as we look for ways to de-stress, so often we dismiss the very tool that offers the greatest immediate relief. Both in this blog and in stress management conversations I've encountered, there is often a sentiment of "oh, yeah, I KNOW to breathe deep, but what can I do to manage my stress?" Having taught stress management and breathing techniques for close to a decade, a close look reveals that what is thought of as de-stressing breath is oftentimes the very type of breathing that exacerbates stress. No wonder we dismiss the tool so easily!

Let's resolve this disconnect here. Most of us have had some loving elder tell us to "take a deep breath". Compared to what though? Ideally, the breath takes place and space throughout the torso. If you've ever watched how a baby's entire belly moves in every direction in response to the breath, then you've seen the meaning of deep breath. Not a huffing, puffing chest thruster - but a soft, deep, generous filling of the lower recesses of your body. Basically, the contraction of your diaphragm makes room for the lungs to expand on the inhale. As the lungs expand, air, all around you, fills the empty space. The exhale is caused by a release of the diaphragm again compressing the lungs. Often by the time we reach adulthood, decades of stress and physical patterns contorts our breath so that we breath mainly into the upper chest and throat. Your body recognizes your constrained breath as a low grade threat, tragic when you consider poor breathing-patterns can cause both adrenaline and cortisol production.

The following are a few practices you can do with your breath that will enhance your awareness of how you breathe and your sense of wellbeing. Do this either now as you read, or print it and take it to a quiet place and try these exercises. As you get familiar with them, you'll find ones that work for just about any activity or situation.

1. First observe how you are actually breathing right now. Close your eyes and just observe where the breath moves in your body, tracing it's path from the tip of your nose (upper lip even if you can feel it), to whatever recesses within your body where you feel it's presence. Once you acknowledge it's path, label how it feels as you breathe - calming, odd to watch, alarming, comforting, uncomfortable. Don't worry - for some of us even watching breath can trigger anxiety. If you are among the folks who feel discomfort the first time you watch your breath, you are not alone. You may simply be someone who experiences alarm with any new experience and for most of us breath awareness is definitely new! This discomfort will go away.


2. Place your hand on your belly and practice sending your inhale into your belly. You should feel your belly swell with each inhale and deflate with each exhale. About the six-pack you've been working on at the gym (not other one from the bar) - it will be strengthened by the engagement of the intercostal muscles with each breath. What's even better, when you actively use the diaphragm in your breath you get easier access to energy. Continue for at least 20 slow breaths.


3. Shift your awareness to the length of each part of the breath - the inhale and the exhale. By mentally counting slowly as you inhale and exhale you have a great insight into this mythical thing called "balance" - while we're all looking for balance in life, a great place to start is in our breath. Start to even out the length of each - many of us start out looking for a 4 count inhale and exhale, and over time we learn to deepen and slow both to a steady 7 count. Again, if this triggers any discomfort just be patient and gentle with yourself. Actively tell yourself to relax as you do these exercises.


4. Awareness Enhancer: Notice which part of the breath you like or feel more at ease with - is it the inhale or the exhale? When you inhale or exhale, between each action can you feel at ease throughout the slight pause between each part of the breath? Practice relaxing during the part that is less comfortable for you.


5. Bedtime Bonus: Try the hand/belly practice in bed before you go to sleep or when you wake up in the morning. Also, you can try taking a few minutes on each side and simply watch how your breath moves in your torso on each side - which is more comfortable? More natural feeling for you? Notice if you can send your breath so deeply into your body that you feel expansion through the sides of your torso, your armpits and throughout your back.


6. Action Packed: One great practice for busy days is to watch how you breathe when you walk or engage in any activity. The Buddhists use a walking breath practice where each footstep is an inhale or exhale. While this might get you plowed over in a busy corridor at work, you can practice creating a deliberate rhythm to harness your breath and thinking as you move around. Think of it like this: Inhale (step step step), exhale (step step step). The beats of this practice are the same as basic breath counting and can keep you connected to yourself throughout your own daily chaos.

Having a tough convo? Talking your way out of a ticket? Getting laid off? Your nervous system is going to respond to any perceived threat. Remember that so you don't stress because you feel stressed. In the instant you feel yourself triggered whether from a direct interaction with someone or even just listening to the news, go back to identifying how your breath feels and then practice balancing it. This tells the nervous system - "hey, whatever just happened did just happen, and you are getting breath, present and doing just fine".

Be well,

Tevis

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Warming in Winter

Photo: Hannibal Poenaru

With snow blanketing the east coast and ice coating roads and walkways everywhere, you're better off keeping notions of Spring on the back burner for now. Your daily journey is going to require solid footing for you to get from A to B. And it's more than just the slippery surfaces. Exacerbating any current worries about the economy, the cold of winter triggers primordial worries for survival. Persistent anxiety can result in memory loss, insomnia, circulatory and immune dysfunctions - none of which supports good decision-making, a critical survival skill.

Being steady and calm now may sound like greeting card advice, but adopting practices to help you actually feel that way is worth the effort. Wherever you are headed literally or figuratively, moving with attention and centeredness can mean the difference between arriving safely and not arriving at all.

One easy access point for addressing this anxiety is your body. After all, when we worry the body is where we feel the impact, from hunched shoulders, to the medical conditions above. By using the physical experience of winter to command your full attention, you get the benefit of a mindfulness practice that can both relax your body and decrease your mental anxiety.

Try these easy steps:

• Before you go out into the cold, wake up your extremities. Whether you remember to do so while still in bed or just before you leave your office, be sure to rotate your hands and feet slowly in both directions. This will stimulate blood flow to the muscle groups you will depend upon in navigating slick surfaces.


• Take a moment once you go into the cold weather, and simply feel yourself in the cold. Feel your feet on the earth, and relax your shoulders. Becoming present in this way, you invite your body to move out of panic and into relationship with the cold.


• As you go from point A to B, notice the moments that pass. Rather than having your thoughts revolve around "oh, ick, so cold, so cold...", or focusing on whatever issues have been on your mind, truly be present to each footstep, each breath, and the comforting warmth of your clothing.


• Relax and slow down your breath. Give yourself an active sense of your own inhaling and exhaling. Try a steady count of 4 for each. This balances your nervous system and forces you out of multitasking/obsessing mode.

These little body-mind connection tools enhance both your physical responsiveness and your minds' ability to process. Even after the thaw of spring and for folks smart enough to live in warmer climates, they are worth using to help keep yourself at ease until the end of this bear of a season.

Be well,

Tevis

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The Weekend OFF

Ruminating on addiction - the benefit of a downturn is that many of our economic addictions simply aren't possible anymore. New Jimmy Choos - pass. Season Tickets - next season. New car every year - this one rides fine. Hundred dollar perfume - um, I smell fine. Whether your own vice was referenced in that list or escaped without notice, there's one addiction most of us share that unfortunately isn't impacted by the economy - MEDIA!

As far back as 2000, the U.S. Census estimated that by 2003 we'd be spending more than 40% of our lives consuming or using some form of media communications. Fast forward six years, add in a little iPhone, Wii, YouTube, Facebook and Crackberry, and our nation of media junkies has LOTS of suppliers. I asked the folks at Yahoo where I teach yoga every week what figures they see on media consumption. Get this: if we aggregate all the time we spend consuming media per day, our days are officially 55 hours long. We're actually not just consuming, we're gorging.

Take the weekend OFF.

If it took you a minute to even comprehend that, believe me, it felt outrageous to type it.

But here's the thing: in the northeast a couple years ago there was a huge blackout. Remember the whole grid problem? Well, in New York City it came to be a blessing. The news stories through that weekend were all about how neighbors who hadn't spent time together ever sat on stoops and shared a glass of wine. How people who never went to the park made their way into it's shady cool inner sanctums. I know for me, it meant just sitting on the couch and listening to the sounds in my apartment - no where to go nothing to do.

Let's admit that our own grids could use a little reboot. Most religious traditions have this wisdom embedded in them. Religious or not, we can all use the time with ourselves. If the weekend feels like withdrawal, pick a day or even take a two hour media break - no email, phone, blinking, pixilated, digitized, i-anything. There is a little button on all your devices that says OFF. Use it. Media will still be there on Monday.

Welcome back to your own un-programmed, not distracted, really-this-is-you self.

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Worklife Now

Between eying the empty chairs steadily appearing in many work environments and watching declining employment numbers across the country, staying energized and motivated can be more than just a daily challenge. Because of the mechanism of the Human Stress Response, the very behaviors that help us function optimally are often the ones our stressed nervous system says "don't bother", "not critical", or "bah, that's an indulgence." Being at your best in times like now requires overcoming your self-defeating behavior with discipline and awareness.

Think about it: when we're under stress it's because we feel fear and uncertainty. This is the trigger for the nervous system to prioritize survival activities, automatically diminishing the functioning of important systems such as circulatory, autoimmune, reproduction, sleep and digestive. Ironically, dysfunction of any of these systems simply exacerbates our experience of feeling stressed. So the moment you feel most "deer in the headlights" about your survival is the moment that you most need but are least likely to engage in activities such as a long walk, dancing in the living room, playing with a puppy or child, or reading inspirational ideas to counteract the survival response and jump-start our nonetheless critical "luxury functions."

Three Reality Checks
First, forget getting more hours in the day in which to take care of yourself. We all get the same amount of time in each day and last I heard, even President Obama squeezes in a workout in the midst of his job demands.

Second, don't wait for someone to create perfectly scheduled options that somehow fit both your preferences and comfort zone. You've got to take advantage of the options you already have even if they require adjusting to something that feels awkward or new.

Third, you've got to take responsibility for taking care of yourself. No one is going to come take you by the hand and lead you to self-care. If the term "self-care" feels too indulgent, why not shift your perception of these actions and treat them as leadership practices?

Making Your List
To get going, take a sheet of paper (or pixel) and write in two columns RELAX YOUR MIND, and ENERGIZE YOUR BODY.

Under ways you relax your mind, write anything you know to do to ease your level of mental activity. Studies show that working on puzzles and solving problems, creating something through activities such as cooking or building, playing, dancing and watching the breath are all ways to counter the Human Stress Response. Identify at least three things you can do on any given day to ease your mind.

Ways to energize your body: even if you've canceled your gym membership, there are still many ways for you to move around for cardiovascular, circulatory and functional health. Exercise the 1970's way by just walking/running outside and doing calisthenics. Maybe you actually USE those videos you bought forever ago or tune into TV workout programs readily available in just about any market. Another option: many yoga studios and community centers have downturn specials and offer free classes in exchange for light volunteer work. Whatever it is, from parking further from your destinations to walking flights of stairs, you CAN do something every day to improve your physical health.

Net Net
Navigating uncertainty with grace and well being is a conscious act. Imagine our executive team being too stressed to workout or too busy to eat right: who would want our top global decision makers feeling foggy from lack of exercise or lack of downtime to clear their perspective in solving these global issues? Hold yourself to those very same standards. Post your lists somewhere you can see them easily and regularly. Decide each day one activity you will do in each category and then do them even if only for 5 minutes apiece.

Doing something, anything, can make the difference between staring at the headlights and moving further along the road. Each time you engage in mental or physical well being activities, congratulate yourself for taking another step along your journey.

Be well,

Tevis

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