Meditating Major

Photo: Tevis Rose Trower

A few weeks ago, I headed up to Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York to lead a retreat. Always a bit giddy whenever I go up to these places - the notion of being closer to nature, having time for reflection, delicious food, stimulating conversations and cultural activities, and being surrounded by people also driven to retreat - I know I am always in for a really rich and rewarding time.

This particular retreat week, as is often the case, one night there was a musical performance up in the meditation sanctuary. Since the event was planned in such a somber, still place, I was anticipating that kind of music - reflective, slow. But when these guys started to play - wow. The entire room exploded into swaying, then jumping, dancing and clapping. Everyone was grinning ear to ear, nodding in time.

One particularly smiley face caught my eye. At first glance her groundedness and clean grooming had me thinking she might be at Omega for one of the yoga teacher trainings being offered. I later came to know her as Major Francine Iazzetta of the United States Marine Corps Reserve, just back from Afghanistan. While there, she had read a book by the founder of Omega and felt inspired to take a few days away from it all for herself.

I've been reflecting so much about Fran both because of the tragic events at Ft. Hood and because I promised I would blog about her and what she had to say about the power of meditation. For one thing, she had the "smilingest" energy I have encountered in a very, very long time. For another thing, she told me she had completed two tours and requested yet another tour in Afghanistan but had been denied. Why? She said "the closeness and realness of being on deployment is a level of connection that you simply can't fathom having anywhere else."

Which is where the power of retreat comes in. Fran then told me that of all the great experiences she had in her week of R&R at Omega, what had blown her mind the most was learning to meditate. Fran had just wandered into the morning practice one morning and had made a point to go to EVERY subsequent practice for the remainder of her stay.

Incredulous at how much the practice has to offer, in her words, "WHO KNEW!!!!??? It's like giving a deposit of 2 cents and getting two dollars back in awareness, peace of mind and feeling connected!!!" .” When I confessed having done a stint in the US Army Reserves during college she said that this closeness she's experienced defies branch of service, nationality, or any other identity - it is a togetherness that melts boundaries.

Considering the discipline of her profession, I have no doubt Fran is somewhere on the planet meditating each day. When I asked her if she was planning on teaching others, she said, "I want them to sense how different my energy is, then I'll start to share it with them."

There is a notion amongst those who meditate that we meditate not only for ourselves, but to introduce a different energy wherever we go. Fran tapped into that notion instinctively. Thinking about how many turbulent environments you navigate on any given day, cultivating a practice is your best bet for creating a shift for yourself and potentially for those you interact with. Being the change literally begins with changing your being - there's just no two ways about it.

So take a moment, right now. Shift your butt back into whatever seat you are on (or find one), and roll your shoulders back off your chest. Soften your jaw and close your eyes. With each inhale repeat to yourself "breathing in I am breathing in." As you exhale repeat to yourself "breathing out I am breathing out." Try to slow the breath and slow the words you are repeating mentally until there is a softness - almost like the rhythm of the words is merging with the sensation of the breath, like butter melting. Do this for at least 12 breath cycles.

You don't have to tell anyone or go out talking about this experience. Just do it for yourself, now, and perhaps again later at a moment when you're torn between which email to act on or which fire to put out.

It might not visibly change the world around you, but practiced with care it will change the world within you. And, Major Fran Iazzetta, wherever you are, thank you for the reminder, and for really being that change.

Be well,

Tevis

Join Tevis on retreat at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health, January 29-31, 2010. Head for the Berkshires for a weekend to reflect and start the year with clarity and renewed energy.

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Rise & Shine

Photo: Tevis Rose Trower

Walking home from teaching yoga Halloween morning, I passed a team of paraplegic "wheelers" getting ready for the NYC marathon. Twenty strides past this tangible reminder of happenstance and courage gave me pause to consider the ephemeral nature of this little life - that we come in, do some stuff while we're here, experience a lot, then die. Shakespeare captured this sentiment beautifully in The Tempest:

Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd tow'rs, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

Indeed. It seems that the great decider of how we live isn't so much any other person or external influence, but the degree to which we determine how we will rise and approach life, and how we will recognize that we own the choices we make in the midst of the situations we experience.

So how can we move powerfully through this pageant of life? "What doesn't kill you just makes you stronger" is a quote I often heard as a kid growing up in the South. If you can imagine a heavy southern accent as you read that, then you can also imagine my surprise to learn that the famous German existentialist philosopher Frederick Nietsche is credited with first saying it. But even he can't claim originating the sentiment. My meditation teacher Sally Kempton just reminded me of the millenia-old yogic adage that "That by which you fall is that by which you rise", further reinforcing the notion that great wisdom has no nationality, dogma or ethnicity. It's just a simple truth - no membership fee required.

Giving much thought to how to rise, what to grow into, and what about life might feel more "happy-making" if approached a little differently, the approaching holidays are a great catalyst for bringing greater awareness to thoughts and intentions, choices and actions. And as much as I've dreamed of a fairy-godmother to make life easier, you don't have to look very far to realize there's not a wisdom teacher out there who says getting rich quick, shirking work, or surrendering your intelligence to situation comedies are paths to happiness.

Inspired by this, I looked at two traditional structures for the aspects of self - Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs" and the yogic Chakra system - and made a map to prepare how to rise, not only through this holiday season but heading powerfully and peacefully into 2010.

Physiological
This level includes how you eat, getting some movement, some sleep, some comfort and downtime, making time for making love, taking care of primary physical self care such as dentist and yearly checkups, and yes, even simply heeding "nature's call" in a timely manner rather than putting it off after another 20 multitasks. Setting an intention here might include taking care of appointments long postponed, holding holiday drinking in check, packing a lunch rather than hitting the buffet, walking for 20 minutes before eating lunch, and making sure to take 10 minutes to breathe and center from time to time throughout the week. What can you identify that you need to remember on the physiological level?

Safety/Personal Power
This level relates to how well you stay connected to yourself in the midst of expansion into relationships including family, social and work. For many of us this brings up issues with over-committing, seeking approval or (the secret backside issue) forcing our will on others, judging ourselves or others, and any interaction with others that results in a power play rather than simply experiencing each other from a place of mutual respect and free-will. One way to keep yourself in that "happy-making" place is by asking yourself what you REALLY want as you consider any given choice. Whether simply determining whether to accept an invitation, or clarifying why you are squabbling with someone, this question will allow you to act on what is most true to you and to refrain from uselessly exerting your truth on someone who may have a different truth.

Heart/Love/Belonging
This is the flip side of the layer before. As an example from some of the most respected schools of coaching, there is an expression that we are all "perfect and whole", and in yoga we acknowledge this with the Sanskrit word "namaste" - loosely translated as the wisdom in me recognizes the wisdom in you. This doesn't mean we agree or even like each other, it simply means we give ourselves and others around us permission to exist exactly as we are. One way to practice this is to call to mind how it feels to observe an argument between two people you respect and admire equally seeing both sides as valid. That objectivity is a perspective you can cultivate in your own conflicts.

Self Expression/Communication
This layer is related to how we honor what matters most to us. How can you honor how you find meaning through this holiday season? Throughout your life? Taking the holiday example - maybe ritual is lost on you, but helping others means a lot. Maybe that means you spend the day volunteering and meeting others who share that value or inviting your family along or talking to them about why it means so much to you. Maybe you take on an issue you care about and blog about it. Maybe you join an organization that gives expression to issues you care deeply about. Think about it: over the next few weeks what could you commit to doing that really holds meaning for you? What about in the new year?

Self Actualization/Clarity
Self-actualization/clarity are often misunderstood as being really decisive or set in your ways. However, that way of being can only exist within artificial limits. For us to be fully alive, we have to stay awake to the dynamic world around us. Albert Einstein may have captured this best saying,

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us "universe", a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

In this aspect of self, your responsibility is to move purposefully outside of the limiting circle of your known experiences and cultivate new inputs, new ideas, find new perspectives and take new actions as your knowledge evolves. What can you do in support of this over the next few weeks? In the new year?

Remembering how short and precious life really is, get up. Rise. Make the most of it while you're here.

Be well,

Tevis

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Be Quiet

In the journal Science it was reported back in 2007 that men and women both speak an average of 16,000 words per day. It makes me tired to even think of all those words and for good reason: after all haven't each of us at some point felt talked out, winded and tired of our own voice?

In a recent executive coaching session, I suggested to marketing maven Elizabeth Talerman that rather than talk the entire time we had together and get lost in the flurry of ideas and words, we use a portion of our time in silence as we walked around the reservoir in New York's Central Park. The results: she says the time in intentional silence gave her "complete restoration of calm. It quieted the thoughts blowing and bustling around my brain so I emerged with a sense of clarity and order". All that in a 15 minute period simply intentionally walking in silence - what a bargain! By giving up words, she gained a sense of inner calm.

Give yourself a dose of inner calm. Try these ways of listening to the sounds of silence within the course of your day:

Silent Morning: See what it is like to get ready for the day in absolute silence. Rather than turning on the TV or music, try listening to the music of morning itself. Whether you live in a rural environment or surrounded by city sounds, by attuning yourself to the rhythms you hear there is a synchronizing of your own energy with that of the world around. Set a limit to when you will begin to indulge in aural distraction again either as speech, TV, music or radio, and before you take the plunge check in with yourself to see how you feel after having been silent.

Silent Meal: Many spiritual lineages include practicing silence at mealtimes. The ability to be fully present to the colors, flavors and textures of your food can deepen your appreciation of each mouthful, and increase your enjoyment in the process. Aside from the potential of satisfying your hunger with less, the benefit of calming your nervous system with a single point of focus is a sweet reward for this practice - so sweet you might just skip dessert!

Silent Walk: The idea of taking a walk alone in silence is certainly not a foreign concept. But have you taken a walk with the intention to be silent and the observation of that silence? Try it - even right now - go walk around your office or home intentionally observing the experience. What do you notice? How does it feel? What happens to your nervous system?

Silent Break: Have a particularly noisy work environment? Slip into a conference room or other private space at work and take a 10 minute silence break. Be creative to find a good place to practice this - my old boss used to sneak out to his car to get a few minutes of silence. Once there, simply sit and observe the stillness all around you. If you feel uncomfortable or fidgety at first, stick with it for the full 10 minutes. Keep reminding yourself to relax and be, surrendering to the silence and stillness.

Be sure to share the radical power of silence by inviting your family or a friend to experience silence with you in any of the above practices. Think about it: we usually say we want to get together and talk, but the intimacy of shared silence is often the most satisfying way to spend time together. Got kids? Great, make it a game for them. Let me know how it goes!

Be well,

Tevis

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Take a Clarity Break

When companies started cutting back earlier this year and we began to feel the impact of reductions in client spending, the folks on my team agonized over more than what it meant to each of us professionally and financially.

We lamented that in the midst of crisis, worklife management practices are exactly what we all need to stay clear in the midst of mayhem, grounded while confronting uncertainty, and energized while taking on ever increasing tasks and responsibilities.

That said, we created this little Clarity Break you can do anytime to reconnect with yourself and keep yourself at your best:

• Instant Energy - Either sitting or standing make sure you have enough room to move your arms freely. Keep your elbows soft and flex your biceps, making tight fists with both hands. Raise them overhead inhaling. Exhale sharply and draw your elbows back to where you started. Do this three times and return to your normal breath. Notice how LITTLE it takes to stimulate energy and sensation throughout your body. Repeat whenever you want to increase your energy FAST.

• Ground UP - Uncross your legs. Make sure your feet are placed on the ground no wider than your hips distance apart (if your feet don't reach the floor lower your chair or find a lower chair to do this practice). Scoot your backside as far back into your seat as you can and then lift your torso just slightly away from the back of your chair so you are sitting as vertically as possible. Push your feet directly downwards into the floor and feel the solidness of the foundation beneath you and let it remind you that you are supported by the world around you. You will instantly feel energy travel from the earth upward, drawing in your belly and lengthening your spine for deeper breathing.

• Centered Mind - Keeping your Ground Up posture, try this easy trick for drawing your mind out of the minutiae of your day. Hold your left hand palm facing upward right at your belly button. Hold your right hand palm facing down right at your sternum. With elbows soft, breathe deep and remind yourself that you are not your thoughts or worries. Draw your awareness out of the incessant chatter of your mind and focus fully on the centered space framed by your hands breathing fully into the expanse of your torso. Remember that experience of the life within you is always available no matter the conditions of life around you.

We've taught this little routine 1:1 to CEOs and to hundreds of employees at a time, and have always been thrilled by the before and after comparison - dull goes to shiny, listless goes to alert. Try it alone or get a couple co-workers to try it with you. In this economy it sure beats a $4 latte.

Be well,

Tevis

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