Rise & Shine

Photo: Tevis Rose Trower

Walking home from teaching yoga Halloween morning, I passed a team of paraplegic "wheelers" getting ready for the NYC marathon. Twenty strides past this tangible reminder of happenstance and courage gave me pause to consider the ephemeral nature of this little life - that we come in, do some stuff while we're here, experience a lot, then die. Shakespeare captured this sentiment beautifully in The Tempest:

Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd tow'rs, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

Indeed. It seems that the great decider of how we live isn't so much any other person or external influence, but the degree to which we determine how we will rise and approach life, and how we will recognize that we own the choices we make in the midst of the situations we experience.

So how can we move powerfully through this pageant of life? "What doesn't kill you just makes you stronger" is a quote I often heard as a kid growing up in the South. If you can imagine a heavy southern accent as you read that, then you can also imagine my surprise to learn that the famous German existentialist philosopher Frederick Nietsche is credited with first saying it. But even he can't claim originating the sentiment. My meditation teacher Sally Kempton just reminded me of the millenia-old yogic adage that "That by which you fall is that by which you rise", further reinforcing the notion that great wisdom has no nationality, dogma or ethnicity. It's just a simple truth - no membership fee required.

Giving much thought to how to rise, what to grow into, and what about life might feel more "happy-making" if approached a little differently, the approaching holidays are a great catalyst for bringing greater awareness to thoughts and intentions, choices and actions. And as much as I've dreamed of a fairy-godmother to make life easier, you don't have to look very far to realize there's not a wisdom teacher out there who says getting rich quick, shirking work, or surrendering your intelligence to situation comedies are paths to happiness.

Inspired by this, I looked at two traditional structures for the aspects of self - Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs" and the yogic Chakra system - and made a map to prepare how to rise, not only through this holiday season but heading powerfully and peacefully into 2010.

Physiological
This level includes how you eat, getting some movement, some sleep, some comfort and downtime, making time for making love, taking care of primary physical self care such as dentist and yearly checkups, and yes, even simply heeding "nature's call" in a timely manner rather than putting it off after another 20 multitasks. Setting an intention here might include taking care of appointments long postponed, holding holiday drinking in check, packing a lunch rather than hitting the buffet, walking for 20 minutes before eating lunch, and making sure to take 10 minutes to breathe and center from time to time throughout the week. What can you identify that you need to remember on the physiological level?

Safety/Personal Power
This level relates to how well you stay connected to yourself in the midst of expansion into relationships including family, social and work. For many of us this brings up issues with over-committing, seeking approval or (the secret backside issue) forcing our will on others, judging ourselves or others, and any interaction with others that results in a power play rather than simply experiencing each other from a place of mutual respect and free-will. One way to keep yourself in that "happy-making" place is by asking yourself what you REALLY want as you consider any given choice. Whether simply determining whether to accept an invitation, or clarifying why you are squabbling with someone, this question will allow you to act on what is most true to you and to refrain from uselessly exerting your truth on someone who may have a different truth.

Heart/Love/Belonging
This is the flip side of the layer before. As an example from some of the most respected schools of coaching, there is an expression that we are all "perfect and whole", and in yoga we acknowledge this with the Sanskrit word "namaste" - loosely translated as the wisdom in me recognizes the wisdom in you. This doesn't mean we agree or even like each other, it simply means we give ourselves and others around us permission to exist exactly as we are. One way to practice this is to call to mind how it feels to observe an argument between two people you respect and admire equally seeing both sides as valid. That objectivity is a perspective you can cultivate in your own conflicts.

Self Expression/Communication
This layer is related to how we honor what matters most to us. How can you honor how you find meaning through this holiday season? Throughout your life? Taking the holiday example - maybe ritual is lost on you, but helping others means a lot. Maybe that means you spend the day volunteering and meeting others who share that value or inviting your family along or talking to them about why it means so much to you. Maybe you take on an issue you care about and blog about it. Maybe you join an organization that gives expression to issues you care deeply about. Think about it: over the next few weeks what could you commit to doing that really holds meaning for you? What about in the new year?

Self Actualization/Clarity
Self-actualization/clarity are often misunderstood as being really decisive or set in your ways. However, that way of being can only exist within artificial limits. For us to be fully alive, we have to stay awake to the dynamic world around us. Albert Einstein may have captured this best saying,

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us "universe", a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

In this aspect of self, your responsibility is to move purposefully outside of the limiting circle of your known experiences and cultivate new inputs, new ideas, find new perspectives and take new actions as your knowledge evolves. What can you do in support of this over the next few weeks? In the new year?

Remembering how short and precious life really is, get up. Rise. Make the most of it while you're here.

Be well,

Tevis

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Practice Peace NOW

You never know where passion for work will show up. I remember during jury duty this past year the guy who ran the jury pool had such dignity about him and respect for every person with whom he spoke, I couldn't bear to be dismissed and leave the municipal court building without complimenting him. He told me that he took the job because he loves people, and he loves creating order and clarity. This is a fairly common sensibility. That he remembers it each and every time he takes the microphone to address a couple hundred resentful Manhattanites forced to serve jury duty is the remarkable part.

He's not alone in this. I've been thinking about how often I encounter a restaurant server or customer support rep who manages to have a smile in their voice and convey respect for themselves and me in their words - it really is amazing.

Photo: Tevis Rose Trower

Just last week after teaching an early morning corporate yoga class, I ducked into NYC's Angelo David Salon for a WAY overdue trim and was delighted to find myself in the presence of a stylist who reminded me of exactly this. Meagan Frayne popped me in her chair and started talking to me about aspects of my hair, health, image and self-esteem that made me feel better.

I asked her what made her so alive in what she does and she said to me, "Sure, I'm just cutting someone's hair, but that someone may go days on end without anyone really making eye contact, listening to them, or inviting them to relax. If I can really be present with them and give them the peace of my presence, I may not be making world peace, but I'm inviting peace into their world and keeping it in my own."

Great information aside, what really made me feel better is that behind the perspective and data, Meagan knows that the quality of our days is comprised by the experiences we have moment to moment.

Peace NOW is right. I'll be back for more.

Be well,

Tevis

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• Finding Peace
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Grace & The Inner Jerk

Gandhi advised that until you find God in the person in front of you, you must travel no further. The following is a true confession of a recent interaction that reminded me of this advice.

I had just come back from two weeks at a house on the side of a lake – lush surroundings for an NYC-girl. Feeling light and happy from the time away, I was standing beside my packed car considering what superhuman moves I was going to have to conjure to get my huge buggy full of stuff, squirming puppy, kennel and car-sick cat up to my apartment elevator door. Convinced my lakeside time away had given me newfound peace and wisdom, life is a swift teacher.

A person I have come to think of as "Grace" walked up. He said, "you look like you could use some help". I looked at him and agreed. He helped me to the door. Sounds simple enough, right? Happy ending?

Only I wasn't looking at him as grace. I took in his humble clothing and streetwise air. In spite of my fresh-from-the-land vibe, in a snap second well-conditioned judgment kicked in and I assumed he must have an ulterior motive.

My inner jerk told me that if he helped me he'd want money, and that then I'd be in the uncomfortable spot of not having my purse which I had already taken up to my apartment. In a matter of seconds while this nice man lugged my stuff across the street with me, my inner jerk told me that since I didn't have money on hand to give him, I'm really a jerk for letting him help me and he'd probably let me know by being a jerk to me.

So by the time we got to the elevator door and I was thanking him, I went overboard. You know - the kind of thanking someone so much they can feel that you had misconceptions about them.

He looked at me and said "blessings to you – you know, I'm just doing the right thing, paying it forward and all that". My words returning the sentiment fell flat. I looked up in time to see his back as he walked off shaking his head.

This jerk is the aspect of us that sizes up others, immediately scoping out who they are and loading our interactions with judgments and expectations. Some traditions call it the critic, the judge or the gremlin. It is the part of us that prevents us from being truly present with one another, experiencing each other free from assumptions about who each other are or who we have to be in order to be at peace together. It has us strategizing for acceptance and vying for superiority, and is formed over years of seeking love, being taught behavioral expectations, and longing to feel safe in the world. Anytime we are in discord or hold ourselves at a distance in interactions with others, there's a good chance this inner jerk is standing between us and really connecting with the person in front of us. And we've all been on both the giving and the receiving end of that jerk.

So that's my true confession - have you heard your jerk lately?

Be well,

Tevis

Related Topics:

• Mind, Body, Spirit: Member Discussion
• The Good Life Neighborhood
• Emotional Wellness - get helpful tips in your inbox