Counting Your Blessings

Gisela / CC BY-SA 2.0

About a week ago, in a break from 18-hour days filled with consulting, teaching yoga, doing a little day job to make ends meet, and pitching new business, I posted to friends a list of things I've been grateful to discover (or rediscover) as a result of the downturn. Largely in response to the decline in incoming funds, what has increased in the past year is my sense of resourcefulness, my sense of priorities, and my ability to see beauty in the simplest moment. Although it really felt great to write the list for my own benefit, I hesitated to post it. Truth be told, the worry that people might judge me for my struggles crossed my mind more than once.

But of course, life being the generous experience it is, this small act of transparency brought blessings back to me many times over. Friends from around the world emailed and even called to say how much the gratitude list brightened their days. Others posted their own sources of gratitude, ranging from the smallest to the most impactful. My most fashionista friend confessed enjoying scouring sale racks in her drive to maintain her carefully-tended image. Another friend from childhood shared her delight in rediscovering the local free paper as a source for finding great FREE cultural events. Friends in London whose work situation forced them to share an apartment with another professional couple expressed gratitude for the deepening in their friendship and sense of community with this other couple.

All that in perspective, here's my little list:

1. Cortados (Latin lattes probably made with Cafe Bustelo) from little corner bodegas for $1.25.


2. Rockstar haircuts from Chinatown for $25.


3. Levi's AWESOME skinny jeans.


4. Selling stock to make ends meet during a lean spot did not kill me - and recognizing the blessing in having stock to sell!


5. Dry cleaning bags cut into squares make great doggy-curb plastics.


6. Threading instead of waxing saves a LOT of money.


7. Happy hour with friends at home is a lot more relaxing.


8. QiGong from the little underground places is AMAZING and 1/3 the price of a spa massage.


9. I can still paint my own toenails.


10. Making birthday gifts always was and is still more fun.


11. I don't miss frivolous shopping at all.


12. Consignment shops in NYC are full of AMAZING stuff.


13. Coconut oil is a FABULOUS deep conditioner.


14. Theme parties beat lounges hands down.


15. I have more music already than I could ever listen to in a year.


16. My doggy likes broccoli more than doggy treats.


17. This meditation/yoga stuff really works on managing stress and keeping peace of mind.


18. Hot rollers instead of salon blowouts.


19. A puppy who insists we start and end each day with a session of playtime.

Right after posting the list I realized the holiday season is about to kick off with Thanksgiving just next week. While I always love how the holidays give us a reason to draw together, I am already feeling a tender respect for all that I, my friends, and my family have been through in the past year or so. Health, employment, living situations, relationships - just thinking about it inspires a sense of quietness and appreciation. While that list above could go on indefinitely, the thing I'm really happy about is recognizing how full and beautiful my life is at any given moment, and how much grace we all experience in authentically sharing our lives with each other.

Be well,

Tevis

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Meditating Major

Photo: Tevis Rose Trower

A few weeks ago, I headed up to Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York to lead a retreat. Always a bit giddy whenever I go up to these places - the notion of being closer to nature, having time for reflection, delicious food, stimulating conversations and cultural activities, and being surrounded by people also driven to retreat - I know I am always in for a really rich and rewarding time.

This particular retreat week, as is often the case, one night there was a musical performance up in the meditation sanctuary. Since the event was planned in such a somber, still place, I was anticipating that kind of music - reflective, slow. But when these guys started to play - wow. The entire room exploded into swaying, then jumping, dancing and clapping. Everyone was grinning ear to ear, nodding in time.

One particularly smiley face caught my eye. At first glance her groundedness and clean grooming had me thinking she might be at Omega for one of the yoga teacher trainings being offered. I later came to know her as Major Francine Iazzetta of the United States Marine Corps Reserve, just back from Afghanistan. While there, she had read a book by the founder of Omega and felt inspired to take a few days away from it all for herself.

I've been reflecting so much about Fran both because of the tragic events at Ft. Hood and because I promised I would blog about her and what she had to say about the power of meditation. For one thing, she had the "smilingest" energy I have encountered in a very, very long time. For another thing, she told me she had completed two tours and requested yet another tour in Afghanistan but had been denied. Why? She said "the closeness and realness of being on deployment is a level of connection that you simply can't fathom having anywhere else."

Which is where the power of retreat comes in. Fran then told me that of all the great experiences she had in her week of R&R at Omega, what had blown her mind the most was learning to meditate. Fran had just wandered into the morning practice one morning and had made a point to go to EVERY subsequent practice for the remainder of her stay.

Incredulous at how much the practice has to offer, in her words, "WHO KNEW!!!!??? It's like giving a deposit of 2 cents and getting two dollars back in awareness, peace of mind and feeling connected!!!" .” When I confessed having done a stint in the US Army Reserves during college she said that this closeness she's experienced defies branch of service, nationality, or any other identity - it is a togetherness that melts boundaries.

Considering the discipline of her profession, I have no doubt Fran is somewhere on the planet meditating each day. When I asked her if she was planning on teaching others, she said, "I want them to sense how different my energy is, then I'll start to share it with them."

There is a notion amongst those who meditate that we meditate not only for ourselves, but to introduce a different energy wherever we go. Fran tapped into that notion instinctively. Thinking about how many turbulent environments you navigate on any given day, cultivating a practice is your best bet for creating a shift for yourself and potentially for those you interact with. Being the change literally begins with changing your being - there's just no two ways about it.

So take a moment, right now. Shift your butt back into whatever seat you are on (or find one), and roll your shoulders back off your chest. Soften your jaw and close your eyes. With each inhale repeat to yourself "breathing in I am breathing in." As you exhale repeat to yourself "breathing out I am breathing out." Try to slow the breath and slow the words you are repeating mentally until there is a softness - almost like the rhythm of the words is merging with the sensation of the breath, like butter melting. Do this for at least 12 breath cycles.

You don't have to tell anyone or go out talking about this experience. Just do it for yourself, now, and perhaps again later at a moment when you're torn between which email to act on or which fire to put out.

It might not visibly change the world around you, but practiced with care it will change the world within you. And, Major Fran Iazzetta, wherever you are, thank you for the reminder, and for really being that change.

Be well,

Tevis

Join Tevis on retreat at Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health, January 29-31, 2010. Head for the Berkshires for a weekend to reflect and start the year with clarity and renewed energy.

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Rise & Shine

Photo: Tevis Rose Trower

Walking home from teaching yoga Halloween morning, I passed a team of paraplegic "wheelers" getting ready for the NYC marathon. Twenty strides past this tangible reminder of happenstance and courage gave me pause to consider the ephemeral nature of this little life - that we come in, do some stuff while we're here, experience a lot, then die. Shakespeare captured this sentiment beautifully in The Tempest:

Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd tow'rs, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

Indeed. It seems that the great decider of how we live isn't so much any other person or external influence, but the degree to which we determine how we will rise and approach life, and how we will recognize that we own the choices we make in the midst of the situations we experience.

So how can we move powerfully through this pageant of life? "What doesn't kill you just makes you stronger" is a quote I often heard as a kid growing up in the South. If you can imagine a heavy southern accent as you read that, then you can also imagine my surprise to learn that the famous German existentialist philosopher Frederick Nietsche is credited with first saying it. But even he can't claim originating the sentiment. My meditation teacher Sally Kempton just reminded me of the millenia-old yogic adage that "That by which you fall is that by which you rise", further reinforcing the notion that great wisdom has no nationality, dogma or ethnicity. It's just a simple truth - no membership fee required.

Giving much thought to how to rise, what to grow into, and what about life might feel more "happy-making" if approached a little differently, the approaching holidays are a great catalyst for bringing greater awareness to thoughts and intentions, choices and actions. And as much as I've dreamed of a fairy-godmother to make life easier, you don't have to look very far to realize there's not a wisdom teacher out there who says getting rich quick, shirking work, or surrendering your intelligence to situation comedies are paths to happiness.

Inspired by this, I looked at two traditional structures for the aspects of self - Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs" and the yogic Chakra system - and made a map to prepare how to rise, not only through this holiday season but heading powerfully and peacefully into 2010.

Physiological
This level includes how you eat, getting some movement, some sleep, some comfort and downtime, making time for making love, taking care of primary physical self care such as dentist and yearly checkups, and yes, even simply heeding "nature's call" in a timely manner rather than putting it off after another 20 multitasks. Setting an intention here might include taking care of appointments long postponed, holding holiday drinking in check, packing a lunch rather than hitting the buffet, walking for 20 minutes before eating lunch, and making sure to take 10 minutes to breathe and center from time to time throughout the week. What can you identify that you need to remember on the physiological level?

Safety/Personal Power
This level relates to how well you stay connected to yourself in the midst of expansion into relationships including family, social and work. For many of us this brings up issues with over-committing, seeking approval or (the secret backside issue) forcing our will on others, judging ourselves or others, and any interaction with others that results in a power play rather than simply experiencing each other from a place of mutual respect and free-will. One way to keep yourself in that "happy-making" place is by asking yourself what you REALLY want as you consider any given choice. Whether simply determining whether to accept an invitation, or clarifying why you are squabbling with someone, this question will allow you to act on what is most true to you and to refrain from uselessly exerting your truth on someone who may have a different truth.

Heart/Love/Belonging
This is the flip side of the layer before. As an example from some of the most respected schools of coaching, there is an expression that we are all "perfect and whole", and in yoga we acknowledge this with the Sanskrit word "namaste" - loosely translated as the wisdom in me recognizes the wisdom in you. This doesn't mean we agree or even like each other, it simply means we give ourselves and others around us permission to exist exactly as we are. One way to practice this is to call to mind how it feels to observe an argument between two people you respect and admire equally seeing both sides as valid. That objectivity is a perspective you can cultivate in your own conflicts.

Self Expression/Communication
This layer is related to how we honor what matters most to us. How can you honor how you find meaning through this holiday season? Throughout your life? Taking the holiday example - maybe ritual is lost on you, but helping others means a lot. Maybe that means you spend the day volunteering and meeting others who share that value or inviting your family along or talking to them about why it means so much to you. Maybe you take on an issue you care about and blog about it. Maybe you join an organization that gives expression to issues you care deeply about. Think about it: over the next few weeks what could you commit to doing that really holds meaning for you? What about in the new year?

Self Actualization/Clarity
Self-actualization/clarity are often misunderstood as being really decisive or set in your ways. However, that way of being can only exist within artificial limits. For us to be fully alive, we have to stay awake to the dynamic world around us. Albert Einstein may have captured this best saying,

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us "universe", a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

In this aspect of self, your responsibility is to move purposefully outside of the limiting circle of your known experiences and cultivate new inputs, new ideas, find new perspectives and take new actions as your knowledge evolves. What can you do in support of this over the next few weeks? In the new year?

Remembering how short and precious life really is, get up. Rise. Make the most of it while you're here.

Be well,

Tevis

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Rut, Routine or Ritual?

IMYJOB: Week 3

You know the drill. With some variation we all experience the following: Alarm. Arise. Bathe. Eat. Drink. Leave. Arrive. Work. When I was in college a popular band called The Godfathers reduced it to a stultifying Birth, School, Work, Death. It was their only hit. The Police captured it beautifully in their drudgery anthem Synchronicity II, and even Francis Ford Coppola says you'd better love what you do because "eventually you will hate it".

Because humans are pattern-makers both in terms of how our brains organize information and how we structure our lives, the workaday mentality is an inevitable one. But equally true, our nervous systems are wired to respond to chaos. Any fitness trainer will tell you that the human body responds best when dealing with uncertainty and will intentionally sequence exercises to wake the body up. Despite first-day-of-school reluctance to step into new situations, we crave both the security of the predictable and the excitement of the unknown. Having both is dependent upon how you cultivate your own sense of presence no matter which seems dominant on any given day.

To convert the hum-drum of everyday, you have to see your day with new eyes. The words "rut" and "routine" might easily describe the patterned events and actions you take everyday, but when held with a sense of appreciation and presence these very same events can bring a elements of comfort, connection and community.

• Savor the Sacred - What ARE the sacred moments in your day? What are the small pleasures that you experience because of the routine of your day? The sacred doesn't have to involve chanting, incense, or some other more esoteric ritual, although it might. It does require you look at your day as a series of patterned actions that create ritual, no matter how mundane they might seem.


• Patterns of Pleasure - Chances are the routines you experience have evolved from countless repeated choices you make based upon what gives you pleasure. Your morning beverage of choice; the route to work; what you read or listen to while in transit; pleasure can even be found in how you settle into your work-space. We all have endless small pleasures sprinkled throughout our days, often without notice due to the constant chatter of the brain. Take an inventory of your work-pattern pleasures this week.


• Cultivate Community - From the moment you awaken, how does your work create opportunity for beauty, for connection with others, for resolution, for rest? Is it saying hello to a neighbor as you collect the paper from outside? Is it the joke with the barista when you get your morning jo? Might the shared pre-meeting personal anecdote actually be a moment of connection? Is welcoming a new team member secretly a moment of compassion and kindness?

Anything from preparing for a meeting to organizing the things on your desk can be seen as creating order and ritual. When viewed with a beauty-seeking eye, any given day is full of sacred, pleasurable moments. By recognizing these moments of connection and sacred beauty in midst of the absurdly mundane, we elevate our work experience from being "what I do to get paid", to being another venue in which to experience the delight of being alive.

Be well,

Tevis

IMYJOB - The Series:

• Jobs: Love The One You're With
• Black Holes & Illumination
• Employee ID: Work As Self-Expression
• Rut, Routine or Ritual?
• The Difference is YOU

Related Topics:

• Mind, Body, Spirit: Member Discussion
• The Good Life Neighborhood
• Emotional Wellness - get helpful tips in your inbox

Employee ID: Work As Self-Expression

IMYJOB: Week 2

If you've been paying attention, you may have noticed that there are lots of ways to perceive work challenges. For some people impediments to being happy at work roll like water off a duck's back. For others, not so much. From obstacle to growth-opportunity, the ways we frame the world around is of our making and has real impact on the quality our life experience. The comments submitted by readers of this series give great illustration of this - ranging from (paraphrasing) "I love my job if not for all those irritating people I have to deal with", to "It IS our work to interact with each other".

But what IS your work? Is it part of your identity? Although there's a cliché that Americans live to work and Europeans work to live, in both equations work is somehow separate from life. Taking a clue from nature, all living things work and live. A tree could not be a tree without doing the work of being a tree (photosynthesis, etc.). While all other plants also conduct this work, the essential nature or treeness of the tree is what that work (photosynthesis) supports. The work supports the tree's essential nature, as our work supports ours.

Consider this example: when asked what his greatest work was, passion-driven workaholic, inventor, artist and renaissance-man Leonardo DaVinci responded, "Leonardo DaVinci". His sentiment contrasts with our modern demonization of identifying with work. I remember at a party asking someone what they did for work and being lambasted with indignation that such a question has anything to do with who they are suggesting that only people reminiscent of the greedy banker character Gordon Gekko in the movie Wall Street so identify with their work. But wait - if we are on a path of cultivating satisfaction in our lives, shouldn't EVERYTHING we do somehow be an expression of who we are?

Back to the tree example: imagine a tree that does less that 100% effort in photosynthesis - not much of a prognosis for survival. Suggesting there can be no conditions applied to how we embrace and exert in all venues of life, Martin Luther King Jr. said this:

If it falls your lot to be a street sweeper, sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures, sweep streets like Beethoven composed music, sweep streets like Leontyne Price sings before the Metropolitan Opera. Sweep streets like Shakespeare wrote poetry. Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to pause and say: "Here lived a great street sweeper who swept his job well."

Ego, status, self-conscious competition, and co-worker drama aside, King suggests - as many ancient wisdom traditions from the Bible to the Bhagavad-Gita do - that connecting full-heartedly to what we do is our real work. This concept is expressed by the term dharma meaning one's righteous duty (wikipedia).

This week's practice surfaces your insights about the identity-work connection. At any gathering of adults, often the first question exchanged is "what do you do for a living?" Set aside any conditioned guilt that this is the easiest way to break the ice with strangers, and take a new look to see just why that question yields so many pieces of information that allow us to learn about each other.

1. When held with fascination these conversations provide subtle clues that allow us to connect and establish common ground, and insight about un-familiar territory. Beyond job title, what do you learn about others by asking this question?


2. Notice what you surmise about other's education, interests, skills and social networks. How are these assumptions validated by further conversation? How do people's complexities surface? Can you allow people to be full human beings even in this conversation?


3. When you meet people you assume you have nothing in common with, how can you learn about and respect them? How do you connect with them even when you're not sure where to find common ground?


4. Do you get a sense that whomever you speak to is passionate for what they do? Do you perceive that they have interpersonal and executional challenges that arise in the course of "getting the job done"? Do they allow both passion and imperfections to coexist within this conversation? Do you?


5. What about outside passions? When you meet people who convey simply "working to make a living", do you find they typically have an outside passion? Do you find people with passions for work are the people with passions outside of work or do you find people who use passions outside of work to compensate for their lack of passion at work? BONUS: Would you say that passionate people are simply passionate no matter if the topic is work or leisure?

Wherever you go this week, don't forget to ask these questions of yourself as well. Notice how you express aspects of yourself by talking about work. Rather than allowing your work-centric conversations to be habitual venting or complaining, simply allow work to say something inherently powerful or meaningful about you and the people you meet. In embracing work as a form of self-expression, you practice an aspect of dharma integrating work into life and life into work.

Let me know how it goes.

Be well,

Tevis

IMYJOB - The Series:

• Jobs: Love The One You're With
• Black Holes & Illumination
• Employee ID: Work As Self-Expression
• Rut, Routine or Ritual?
• The Difference is YOU

Related Topics:

• Mind, Body, Spirit: Member Discussion
• The Good Life Neighborhood
• Emotional Wellness - get helpful tips in your inbox

Black Holes & Illumination

IMYJOB: Week 1


Borrowing from 12-step wisdom, one of the biggest leaps you can make towards loving your any area of life – work included – is admitting that you are a part of the problem. What problem? Well, whatever you consider to be the problem. All too often we hold a magnifying glass to the world looking for evidence of how we think things are and judging them according to how we think they SHOULD be rather than simply being present with how they are. And let's face it: until you are appointed as chief designer of the universe, the contrast between how you think things should be and how things are is often a vast one, that open empty space between the two often filled with discontentment. This week offers exercises to help you dive into that gap.

Let's get clear about a couple of things. Loving your job does not mean you think everything or everyone is perfect there. Loving your job DOES mean that your involvement with whatever is going on, imperfections and all, is not a source of unhappiness or resignation. Instead, held with love and commitment, the challenges you find are calls to action, catalysts of effort, and starter flames for investment of passion and cultivation of compassion.

Think about it this way: most of us can think of people who have "black hole" areas in their lives. A black hole area is an area in which they don't have much success or satisfaction, and when you hear them talk about it there's not really an upside present. For one friend it might be money. For another it might be romantic relationships. The possibilities are very broad, and can even be boiled down to specific phobias or discomforts such as heights, public places, being out of control, etc. These black hole areas are like neon indicators pointing to our most unconscious but limiting perspectives, ones that put us at odds with what IS, and each of us has them.

Oftentimes the black hole areas of others are much more obvious to us than our own, and offer great insight into the power of deeply held beliefs. For example: let's say I have lots of healthy friendships with women I admire and respect and then I meet a woman who tells me she struggles with friendships with women. I would be able to see her black hole as a black hole and experience my own wisdom in that area, while she might simply feel it as a foregone conclusion that by nature women are not trustworthy, loyal, supportive, etc. Multiplying this awareness opportunity over the countless people you encounter over the course of your day, conscious observation of your own mindset and the mindsets of others is a great step towards choosing ones that free you up from judging the world around you and reposition you as simply learning from it.

You may have heard conventional wisdom that the definition of insanity is "doing something over and over again, expecting a different result." The "doing" in this case is how we perceive the world around us and offers a key to creating powerful shifts. This week, apply this practice to the subject of WORK, looking for black holes and opportunities for illumination:

1. Begin to take note of how people in your life talk about work. Is it positive? Is there expansive curiosity or limiting judgment? Notice how many times you detect resignation, indignation, or other less than expansive states of being when the issues of work are involved. Direct this inquiry to your own inner circle: how do your parents or other primary life influences talk about work? Friends? As a parent, how do you talk to your children or other young people about work?
2. How many expansive or life-affirming attitudes do you encounter about work and how many times do you experience "black-holes"? As you survey these attitudes about work, notice your inner response to their attitudes. When speaking to people who express well-being and positive attitudes towards work, do you feel at ease or like running to your most reliable venting-partner? When you hear negativity about work, does it affirm your world view or bum you out? Responses can be a mixture of both, just get in the practice of NOTICING.
3. As you conduct transactions and commerce at work and in life, what do you notice about the attitudes of the people you come into contact with? That barista, cashier, call-center attendant, receptionist, etc., what do you notice about how they go about what they do? How do they handle conflict or less-than-perfect aspects of their jobs? BONUS: how do you engage with and respond to people who seem at peace with what they do?
4. As you take note of all these various attitudes and beliefs, ask yourself who seems happier with themselves and life. Ask yourself who around you seems to have something you can learn from in order to better your relationship with work. Remembering that whatever we focus on grows, allow yourself to take note of moments in which you are with people who are at peace with what they do (no matter how simple/menial/unglamorous/poorly compensated). Focusing on their energy, their language, and their overall sense of peace, what happens inside of you when you allow yourself to be present to their state of being?

By observing examples of black holes and illumination, you can begin to cultivate a greater relationship with illumination and greater awareness of your own black holes. If you are getting together with a group or undertaking this practice on your own, either in writing or in moments of reflection, honor your own process by considering carefully what you have observed and what you can learn from it. Resist the urge to dismiss another's state of well being as "unintelligent" or otherwise invalid. Instead, focus upon what they get and what they give out in terms of peace of mind and satisfaction. Is there some aspect of their way of being you can try on from time to time this week?

Be well,

Tevis

IMYJOB - The Series:

• Jobs: Love The One You're With
• Black Holes & Illumination
• Employee ID: Work As Self-Expression
• Rut, Routine or Ritual?
• The Difference is YOU

Related Topics:

• Mind, Body, Spirit: Member Discussion
• The Good Life Neighborhood
• Emotional Wellness - get helpful tips in your inbox

Identity In Action: What You Do Is Who You Are

Photo: Tevis Rose Trower

"I triceratops therefore I am" loomed on a bus-stop billboard outside the grocery store near my apartment for weeks. The picture of the toddler making dinosaur claws with his small hands was cropped at the head, emphasizing his t-shirted little body and reinforcing that same message that what he does is who he is. Every time I passed it, though puzzling at the grammar, I simultaneously loved the notion of the little guy's joy captured there to inspire others. This "I summer Friday therefore I am" soon followed, as well as "I little black dress therefore I am" and "I dine after nine therefore I am". The campaign's objective was to remind us of the diversity of activities and individuals that make New York City great, but it also begs a bigger question: what actions define who you are?

After decades of "I shop therefore I am", economic realities are forcing many of us to rethink not only how we spend our money and time, but how we find the bearings of our identity when our former occupations have fallen to the wayside. I'm not just talking about brushing your teeth or balancing the checkbook. When we define ourselves with an emphasis upon the actions that produce positive feelings and enhance our self esteem, we create a go-to list of things we can do to give us a needed lift when we need it most. We also gain a more accurate sense of priorites when making choices how to spend our precious moments.

Try this: Each time you shift from one activity to another, notice your enjoyment level of whatever has just been completed. If it has produced a postive feeling, acknowledge it with an affirmative statement. In quiet moments, take inventory of the activities that bring truly positive feelings.

For the past week I've identified the following: I take my time walking my dog therefore I am. I discover new music therefore I am. I catch up with clients therefore I am. I take time to smile at people therefore I am. I meditate therefore I am. I work out therefore I am. I smell flowers therefore I am. I beautify my home therefore I am. I yoga therefore I am.

It's a small but powerful practice, I promise you that. Between running errands, observing the world situation unfolding and managing all the little relational challenges present in any life, this practice of recognizing catalysts for good feelings around you not only shifts your inner mantra, but literally calms your nervous system with reminders of wellbeing. I've been surprised how many things I might not categorize as being pleasant that actually are (paying bills), and just as surprised at how many things I might automatically pop into the pleasant category that actually aren't. The shuffling of items on my own inner to do list has been remarkable, showing a gap between what I assume I enjoy and what I ACTUALLY feel pleasure in doing.

Give it a try and let me know how you triceratops.

Be well,

Tevis

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Reminder: Presence Is Required

Photo Credit: Tevis Rose Trower

Memorial Day is always emotional for me. I'm one of those people standing alongside the community parade with a pointedly averted gaze, even behind my sunglasses. I can't talk much at such events, because if I do the words are either a pretense of pleasantry or they are sincere and trigger waterworks and emotional thunder I struggle to control under the words deep in the back of my throat.

Considering what it means to serve is a biggie for me, and not just because I served in the U.S. Army Reserves during college. My politics are pragmatic and tend towards active debate and respect for dissent, perhaps because I've experienced plenty of both throughout my life. Some of the greatest patriots I've ever known have worn uniforms but just as many have not, serving society instead through vocations of non-profit, agriculture, academia, lawyers, corporate jobs complimented with active community service, and self-employment in healing arts. I can't think of anyone in my life who isn't watching the dance of change on this planet without a sense of duty, determination to contribute, and desire to help the world evolve and emerge better, wiser and more able to thrive.

So I've wondered what it is that strikes so deeply in my heart at these events. It's not just the soul-piercing whine of the local Irish club's bagpipes or the tender sweetness of Boy & Girl Scouts high-fiving the entire crowd. What single emotion can describe the beauty of little kids cartwheeling down a 20 block parade route perfumed by the unmistakable fragrance of the community pancake sale and burgers off the grill, or the bossy den mothers herding cat-like troops to the sound of the high school marching band - all coming together in a collage of "YES"?

Yes, I would have loved to sleep late that day. I'm sure that lots of folks at that parade had plenty of other stuff they could have done with their day off. But conscious of it or not, there is something to shared experience that we can't emulate online, no matter the Facebook group, myspace page or how LinkedIn we think we are.

In the smallness of any "our town" moment, there's a bigness to participating in our collective - to putting aside personal benefit or well being in support being together in this thing called life. No matter that we debate a given ideology, course of action or the underlying motives, that we choose to show up, to say "yes, count me in," participating in our collective WE is part of how we crawl out of ourselves, shrug off our little lives and into the WE of life itself.

Being there at that parade reminded me of this: it takes being present to experience a WE.

Be well,

Tevis

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Seeds

This past weekend I volunteered for a community event out in the "sticks" of Brooklyn in a little-mentioned neighborhood called Bushwick.

Ego-trip associated with volunteering aside, admittedly, after the many weeks passed from the time of the request for my participation to the moment I had to pack up 20 yoga mats into an oversized suitcase and hoof it on the subway out to what many might consider a dodgy location to teach yoga in Spanish at the event, I was more than hopeful for a downpour to give me and everyone involved the excuse of savoring my Saturday at home on my couch with my puppy and a good book.

Photo Credit: Tevis Rose Trower

But am I ever glad I went. For one thing, this wasn't some huge bureaucracy. It was one little person, Rachel Devlin, who as a resident of Bushwick, decided to have an organic street fair and community event. Busy as she is managing her own life as a yoga teacher and musician, starting a new studio, going about her business of keeping afloat in the midst of an economic downturn, Rachel took a moment to notice the conditions in the neighborhood around her. She researched Bushwick and found that in addition to leading NYC in type-2 diabetes and obesity, 38% of the residents are below poverty and face challenges of language and acculturation.

Caring about what she found led to a world of effort on her part: Getting local merchants involved. Getting friends to participate. Contacting relevant local community agencies. Getting a permit from the parks department. Distributing flyers around the neighborhood. I can't imagine what this initiative did to her own to-do list.

Photo Credit: Tevis Rose Trower

The main features of the event were information about organic food co-ops, sample yoga mini-classes, and free samples of healthy and delicious food options prepared fresh on site. In all, much was accomplished. Volunteers served up around 500 green smoothies and grilled up more than 130 veggie burgers. Kids who never heard of yoga were doing downward dogs. Loads of people signed up for the Bushwick Grows Together community garden. Over 50 people joined the Bushwick Food Coop and learned about hydroponic gardening. Around 70 signed up for library cards. A personal point of delight to Rachel is that the concrete-heavy park where the event was held was "gorgeously decorated in sidewalk chalk and bright faces glowed in paints, glitter and smiles!"

Because of Rachel's determination to share knowledge and tools that can shift these prevailing health statistics, a couple hundred residents of this little known neighborhood in the middle of one of the toughest places to live now know that veggie burgers and smoothies can be delicious, that a couple really good deep breaths can make you feel great, and that the habits that can kill them can also be given up in favor of more life affirming choices. And for those of us who volunteered, we were reminded that it doesn't take much to give a lot. An hour here or there, schlepping to an unfamiliar location, what we get in return is what so many of us have been praying for: a sense of making a difference, mattering, and connecting to others.

Will anyone who experienced this fair run out and buy a yoga mat, give up punch for smoothies, or forsake meat for veggie burgers? Probably not. But in each person who attended were planted seeds of recognition that our lives are the result of the patterns of our choices, and the possible choices we can make are always far broader than we might imagine. It reminded me to look around my neighborhood, find ways I can make new (and perhaps uncomfortable) choices, and give myself the opportunity for greater connection to life by putting just a little energy into serving the lives around me.

Hey Rachel, thank you.

Be well,

Tevis

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Ayurvedic Self Care Secrets

I was speaking at The Economist earlier this year and a question came from one of the employees about what practice I find most helpful as a self-care preventative against stress. Without thinking I said "dry brush and self massage". Silence ensued. Aside from being unintelligible to most people, admittedly it sounds slightly tawdry. Truth be told, this is just one of many ancient ayurvedic "secrets" emerging in the mainstream.

Check out three core daily self care practices we've inherited from the ayurvedic tradition. Whether you adopt them now or later, there's no doubt they're on the rise!

1. Neti Pot - My VERY conservative General Practitioner swears by his neti pot to keep allergies and colds/flu at bay (details below), and was relieved I use one as well. A neti pot is a little ceramic pot shaped much like a teapot. You fill it with room temperature water and a small portion of iodine free salt. You then tilt the spout into your nostril (yes, bear with me) and turn your head to the side so the saline was can run freely into one nostril and out of the other. Sound gross? Wait until you get through multiple winters cold free. Wait until you get through allergy season without becoming a sneezy, snotty mess. You'll see gross in a whole new way, and after all 'tis the season.

2. Tongue Scraping - Tongue scraping is performed with a little bendy horseshoe-shaped piece of metal that you brace in one hand to scrape bacteria off of your tongue. You do this when you brush your teeth, but not more than twice per day. Why would you want to do that? Because bacteria is the reason for many icky things - colds and other illnesses, plaque, bad breath, gum disease, etc. It takes just a moment and is easily worked into your dental hygiene routine. Besides, once you see what you're scraping off your tongue, you'll be glad you did.

3. Dry Brush/Self Massage - Not just for the lonely among us, this practice is considered mega important among ayurvedic practitioners for stimulating "the body's natural pharmacy", or your lymphatic and immune systems. A dry brush is usually made of natural bristles and fits easily into your hand. Before you shower, you take the brush and sweep it over your entire body, usually from feet up to energize and from head downward to calm. It shouldn't take more than a minute or two. Then you take a moment to rub organic body oil into your skin. This practice is a 1-2 punch that increases the immune system, softens your skin, improves tactile response and relieves muscular tension.

Whether your company sponsors someone like me to come teach about these things, run, don't walk, to the health food store to stock up on these instruments and make their use a part of your daily routine. When world renowned yogini Shiva Rea taught me these practices, she warned me they are addictive. They are, but in the very best way because they WORK.

Be well,

Tevis

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Balance By Any Other Name...

Photo Credit: Tevis Rose Trower

Work-life balance, work/life balance, life balance, life-work balance - how you frame the quest to live a satisfying life is important. Even when naming this blog, the good folks at WebMD and I did many rounds of brainstorming to find a phrase that would best convey a sense of satisfaction in all we do. Ideally we wanted something that would also convey finding harmony among the many things we do in the course of a given day.

Not an easy task given the baggage often associated with balance. In '01 when I first started providing tools to revive the "joie" in people's "vivre" under the moniker of "work/life balance strategist", listening carefully to what employees throughout the country in multiple industries, functions and capacities had to say about "balance" was telling. Rather than understanding it as a framework for finding satisfaction in all we do, there was a prevailing distrust of "balance" as just another media-concocted list of "shoulds" which really meant doing it all under the empty promise of having it all. And who needs another "to do"?

Harmony complicates things further. Think about the adage "Europeans work to live. Americans live to work." In both of these paradigms life is separate from work. Life=good, work=bad. If you're working, you're not living, and if you're not living, well, you must be a bit dead in those moments. Giving into that oppositional way of thinking prevents work from being anything more than an effort at survival. Seeing the 9.1 hours per day spent at work (average according to the US Department of Labor) in such a lifeless way is a far cry from harmonious.

What's missing in conventional views on work, life, balance and satisfaction is the notion that ultimate work is to find peace in whatever we do and to do it fully. All areas of life are just that - areas of life, none more or less worthy than another. As the sources of challenge shift constantly - relational, financial, health, etc. - being present and engaged in everything we do IS the harmony. This approach isn't a "get-the-proportions-of-work-and-family-and-fitness-and-rest-exactly-right-and-everything-will-be-roses" panacea. And by the way, anyone making such a promise better have a magic wand in their briefcase.

Luckily, in our "expert, guru, scientists-say and studies-obsessed" culture, "happiness" has become an official field with plenty of insights to share. Graduate schools and coaching certificate programs focused on the psychology of happiness have emerged in academic and professional development arenas. The good news is that these experts, gurus, scientists and studies agree with what wisdom traditions have long taught: the key to happiness is changing how we think by cultivating a sense of self and connection in whatever we do. Uncertainty in life teaches us this through fluctuating highs, lows and in-betweens. Don't you love convergence?

When I read in February that corporate spending on employee development had already been cut by 11% for the year, the diagnosis I adopted for employee worklife skills in '09 was this: DIY. But clearly balance has always been a do-it-yourself job. As ultimately it is up to each of us to take on the responsibility for our inner state, the DIY is remembering to cultivate presence in all you do.

So Life Works, it is. Because if you look at the world around you, it's true: life does work. Whether a tree doing what it takes to thrive at being a tree, a lion working at being a lion, or the sun doing its job of burning brightly, there is not an element in nature that is not engaged in the doing and being. Doing that is fully present and being connected to the whole - sounds like life and sounds like it works.

Be well,

Tevis

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De-Clutter Your Space, De-Clutter Your Brain

Wish you ruled the world? Why not start with your own little corner of it.

Photo Credit: Kenny Corbin

Amid the turmoil and unpredictability we are all experiencing, controlling the things we CAN may just begin with cleaning out a closet. Yesterday I bumped into New York Magazine's favorite organizer Erica Ecker, with whom I have collaborated on corporate worklife projects in the past. She commented, "With the world so obviously in a tailspin, people are looking to control what they CAN - their own personal space. Also, because many people are spending much more time at home, they want it to be a place of renewal and calm".

Wondering if others in the "space" profession are having a similar experience, I reached out for another collaborator, recent Oprah-guest, simplicity-advocate and old friend Mary Carlomagno to see what she's got to say about making space. Just back from her book tour in support of her most recent title, Secrets of Simplicity, she concurs that the benefits of making order are far beyond the external space and calm. "Lao Tzu says when space is created, something new will come in. And by that I don't mean a new pair of shoes! Within all this economic downturn and turmoil, there is a real opportunity for growth, for hope."

It occurred to me that I have been purging belongings quite a bit lately. It started with moving after my divorce and has continued as I got hooked on the feeling of spaciousness and non-attachment. The simple practice of letting go of physical belongings has been an outward expression of letting go of old ideas about myself and the world around me - a real catharsis for both my home and my heart. The resulting calm feels like grace.

Take these simple steps in making space:

1. Not sure where to begin with a completely cluttered room? Start with the raw space. Take everything out of the room and before placing it back in. Be brutal, making each item earn its readmission to the room. Invite a friend or family member over to act as judge and jury.


2. Eliminate the clutter from the bottom up. If you cannot see your path, how can you move forward?


3. Value the relationship, not the item. Think about what's really important. Can a chest of drawers really replace a loved one? It is nice to keep reminders, mementos, and family heirlooms, but not if they keep stuck in the past.


4. Think "need" not "price". Often we remember how much was spent on an item and delay the trip to the curb in hopes we make good on the spend. Don't. You won't. Let bygones be bygones.


5. Open your mail. And read it. A major source of clutter cited by both experts is unopened and unread mail - and stories abound of sums erroneously charged on accounts then recovered, checks waiting to be cashed, etc. Decluttering your desk or credenza may just bulk up your bank balance.

How can you relax after a stressful day at the office or of pounding the pavement when you return home to a cluttered environment? As Erica commented, "decluttering your space means decluttering your brain." By eliminating that mad scramble for your keys or any other item, you've spared yourself loads of unnecessary anxiety. Save yourself this precious energy and take care of your personal space. Cultivating calm around you, you increase your internal reserves so you can invest more wisely in cultivating your life.

Be well,

Tevis

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Warming in Winter

Photo: Hannibal Poenaru

With snow blanketing the east coast and ice coating roads and walkways everywhere, you're better off keeping notions of Spring on the back burner for now. Your daily journey is going to require solid footing for you to get from A to B. And it's more than just the slippery surfaces. Exacerbating any current worries about the economy, the cold of winter triggers primordial worries for survival. Persistent anxiety can result in memory loss, insomnia, circulatory and immune dysfunctions - none of which supports good decision-making, a critical survival skill.

Being steady and calm now may sound like greeting card advice, but adopting practices to help you actually feel that way is worth the effort. Wherever you are headed literally or figuratively, moving with attention and centeredness can mean the difference between arriving safely and not arriving at all.

One easy access point for addressing this anxiety is your body. After all, when we worry the body is where we feel the impact, from hunched shoulders, to the medical conditions above. By using the physical experience of winter to command your full attention, you get the benefit of a mindfulness practice that can both relax your body and decrease your mental anxiety.

Try these easy steps:

• Before you go out into the cold, wake up your extremities. Whether you remember to do so while still in bed or just before you leave your office, be sure to rotate your hands and feet slowly in both directions. This will stimulate blood flow to the muscle groups you will depend upon in navigating slick surfaces.


• Take a moment once you go into the cold weather, and simply feel yourself in the cold. Feel your feet on the earth, and relax your shoulders. Becoming present in this way, you invite your body to move out of panic and into relationship with the cold.


• As you go from point A to B, notice the moments that pass. Rather than having your thoughts revolve around "oh, ick, so cold, so cold...", or focusing on whatever issues have been on your mind, truly be present to each footstep, each breath, and the comforting warmth of your clothing.


• Relax and slow down your breath. Give yourself an active sense of your own inhaling and exhaling. Try a steady count of 4 for each. This balances your nervous system and forces you out of multitasking/obsessing mode.

These little body-mind connection tools enhance both your physical responsiveness and your minds' ability to process. Even after the thaw of spring and for folks smart enough to live in warmer climates, they are worth using to help keep yourself at ease until the end of this bear of a season.

Be well,

Tevis

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The Power of Choice

This weekend I was at a dinner with Sharon Salzberg, author of multiple books on meditation and matters of faith. A lifetime student of Buddhism, Sharon has sat with and soaked in the wisdom of countless great teachers and become one herself. Having studied with her many times over the years, it was such a treat to spend time with her in a social setting.

The dinner conversation was in the tradition of a "salon", with a central theme and discussion topics provided for all to contribute thoughts, ideas and observations. Circumventing routine chit-chat can be so refreshing and given the topic "Global Religion", it was a pretty juicy evening from start to finish. Among the group of 40 of us in attendance were people of many faiths, lifestyles and professions, and the conversation was animated, broad and raised many questions regarding how we all get along together on this pretty little blue planet we call Earth.

Ironically, the comment that hit me like a swift kick in the asana wasn't anything in the course of that more formal discussion. It was when I first greeted Sharon and asked her how she has found living in New York City after years of living in the woods in Massachusetts – typical small talk. But the impact of chatting got really big with her laughing response, "People ask me that all the time, expecting drama about how hard the city is or how noisy or busy. But hey, it's the city and I live here because it's my CHOICE".

Sharon's simple statement reminded me of the power to be found in taking responsibility for our choice making. Remembering this is a discipline that creates mastery. Think about it: your life is what it is because of the choices you have made given the circumstances that have arisen. Optimized or decimated, we are the choosers. Holding yourself as the chooser of your own responses leaves no room for belly-aching or complaining, disempowerment or victimhood. Life deals its cards and we choose how we respond. Period.

This very "pro" position on choicemaking is a powerful gift – and with huge thanks to Sharon, it's one that we all need. Start this week out with choice-making awareness. Practice observing that the events of your life unfold and that you respond. It's that simple. If you catch yourself thinking something happens "TO YOU", shift the language and reframe the event as simply happening and then ask yourself how you can most powerfully respond. By recasting your life-perspective with a positive sense of your ability to identify possibilities, choose responses, and dance with whatever happens, you have engaged your nervous system in the most stress relieving activity there possibly is – working actively in support of your own surviving and thriving.

Be well,

Tevis

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Worklife Now

Between eying the empty chairs steadily appearing in many work environments and watching declining employment numbers across the country, staying energized and motivated can be more than just a daily challenge. Because of the mechanism of the Human Stress Response, the very behaviors that help us function optimally are often the ones our stressed nervous system says "don't bother", "not critical", or "bah, that's an indulgence." Being at your best in times like now requires overcoming your self-defeating behavior with discipline and awareness.

Think about it: when we're under stress it's because we feel fear and uncertainty. This is the trigger for the nervous system to prioritize survival activities, automatically diminishing the functioning of important systems such as circulatory, autoimmune, reproduction, sleep and digestive. Ironically, dysfunction of any of these systems simply exacerbates our experience of feeling stressed. So the moment you feel most "deer in the headlights" about your survival is the moment that you most need but are least likely to engage in activities such as a long walk, dancing in the living room, playing with a puppy or child, or reading inspirational ideas to counteract the survival response and jump-start our nonetheless critical "luxury functions."

Three Reality Checks
First, forget getting more hours in the day in which to take care of yourself. We all get the same amount of time in each day and last I heard, even President Obama squeezes in a workout in the midst of his job demands.

Second, don't wait for someone to create perfectly scheduled options that somehow fit both your preferences and comfort zone. You've got to take advantage of the options you already have even if they require adjusting to something that feels awkward or new.

Third, you've got to take responsibility for taking care of yourself. No one is going to come take you by the hand and lead you to self-care. If the term "self-care" feels too indulgent, why not shift your perception of these actions and treat them as leadership practices?

Making Your List
To get going, take a sheet of paper (or pixel) and write in two columns RELAX YOUR MIND, and ENERGIZE YOUR BODY.

Under ways you relax your mind, write anything you know to do to ease your level of mental activity. Studies show that working on puzzles and solving problems, creating something through activities such as cooking or building, playing, dancing and watching the breath are all ways to counter the Human Stress Response. Identify at least three things you can do on any given day to ease your mind.

Ways to energize your body: even if you've canceled your gym membership, there are still many ways for you to move around for cardiovascular, circulatory and functional health. Exercise the 1970's way by just walking/running outside and doing calisthenics. Maybe you actually USE those videos you bought forever ago or tune into TV workout programs readily available in just about any market. Another option: many yoga studios and community centers have downturn specials and offer free classes in exchange for light volunteer work. Whatever it is, from parking further from your destinations to walking flights of stairs, you CAN do something every day to improve your physical health.

Net Net
Navigating uncertainty with grace and well being is a conscious act. Imagine our executive team being too stressed to workout or too busy to eat right: who would want our top global decision makers feeling foggy from lack of exercise or lack of downtime to clear their perspective in solving these global issues? Hold yourself to those very same standards. Post your lists somewhere you can see them easily and regularly. Decide each day one activity you will do in each category and then do them even if only for 5 minutes apiece.

Doing something, anything, can make the difference between staring at the headlights and moving further along the road. Each time you engage in mental or physical well being activities, congratulate yourself for taking another step along your journey.

Be well,

Tevis

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