Gratitude: Life and Choices

This week I said I would write about what I have to be thankful for...and, hopefully, some of you are sharing your thoughts as well.

Which brings me to, in a round-about way, something that I am very thankful for. I am currently living in Mexico in a small village just north of Puerto Vallarta. It is amazingly beautiful here, not only visually but the sounds! I wake up every morning to the sounds of tropical birds and the waves of the Pacific Ocean. I get up when I feel like it (usually by 6:30 or so as my faithful dog needs a walk on the beach by then). And my day is pretty much whatever I want it to be. And, yes, I am doing this on my Social Security disability payments. And even being able to save a bit for emergencies. So, my "thankful for" is for being in such a beautiful place and for all the friends I have here.

Unfortunately, Internet access here remains primarily through use of an "Internet cafe". Granted that there are several options in the village but all are at least a 3 block walk from my RV (yes, I'm doing this in an RV that I drive myself). And some days that just isn't possible for me. When I do get into town to the Internet, 2 hours is about my maximum endurance for my WebMD message board, this blog, and staying in touch with friends and family. Two hours goes fast!

So...sometimes I don't get around to reading all the blog entries, and I'm sorry for that. A few of you have posted questions on the BLOG...that isn't the place for questions for me. Go over to my message board on MS.

Well, I've travelled a ways from what I started with but I guess I can continue the 'thankful' theme in the next post.

Related Topics: Meditation Balances the Body's Systems, WebMD Integrative Medicine Center

Technorati Tags: multiplesclerosis, thankful, MS

There are worse things than MS

Last week, a very delightful young man of my acquaintance had a psychotic break. He became increasingly paranoid and confused. He is now in a hospital. And his future is grim.

Working with him for several days really made me stop and reflect on my own illness. From my point of view, it is far less limiting than the schizophrenia that is his most likely diagnosis. It made me look at all the ways I am lucky, so I decided to start writing some of them down. And I encourage you all to spend some time thinking about your own good fortune.

So ... I am still able to think rationally and in an orderly fashion and make reasonable decisions. I have wonderful relationships with my friends and family. I am free of delusions, hallucinations, paranoia. All of these are things that my young friend may never fully experience again.

He may be spared some of my physical problems but perhaps those are less important than they seemed a week ago. I am still able to walk for several blocks and that makes so many things possible. I can plan and cook my own meals (although I am a bit dangerous with a knife, so lots of chopping of things is to be avoided!). I can read and understand most things I need to.

Now it's your turn. What do you have to be thankful for?

Related Links: Brief Psychotic Disorder, Psychotic Disorders, Boost Your Health With a Dose of Gratitude

Technorati Tags: Schizophrenia, Psychosis, Paranoia, Gratitude

Dependence and independence, Part 2

One issue that I obviously left out of my last post on this topic is the issue of... well, I guess of overuse of others. I know I have had the experience of a friend or family member leaning too hard on me, asking for support I felt unable to give. And clearly, that is to be avoided.

No, I am not contradicting what I said yesterday. If I am the one asking for help, then it is clearly my responsibility to ask carefully. I don't ask my friend with three pre-schoolers to clean my house. But it is probably fine to ask her to pick up a couple of things for me if she is going to the store anyway.

I try to give considerable thought to what I ask from whom. I do not want to burden my friends and family, but I definitely need their help. So a big part of my responsibility is to be thoughtful, in all meanings of the word. It's obviously in my best interest on many levels not to exhaust my support system.

Before I ask for help, I do a mental exercise. I try to match the request very carefully to the recipient. I try to piggy-back my requests to what folks are doing anyway. I ask myself whether there are alternatives to asking for help. For instance, do I really need to have or do whatever it is? Is it important enough to burden my support system?

It's not a perfect system, but it seems to work for me. And, one interesting thing has happened to my friends and family. Not only do they now anticipate things that I might need help with ("Do you need me to pick up anything for you?"), but they have learned that it really is OK to say NO. And they do. Often they will try to help me figure out another way ("I'm not going to the grocery store until next week, will that be soon enough?"). And that process stretches both of us and makes us feel like problem-solvers. And, as a certain TV personality says, "That's a good thing!"

Related Topics: Can Alternative Medicine Help Your MS?, MS In The Workplace

Technorati Tags: multiplesclerosis, livingwithmultiplesclerosis, MS

Dependence and independence

Finding a healthy balance between independence and dependence is a constant struggle, not just for people with MS but for many people with chronic diseases.

In many western cultures (like the US and Canada), the struggle is complicated by the high value placed on independence by the cultures. Somehow, to be less than fully independent is often viewed as being less than fully competent, fully a person.

After 57 years in the culture and 17 years with MS, I think my own attitude toward these issues has shifted from the mainstream. For me, one of the greatest acts of independence is asking for help when I need it. "What?", you are saying, "That doesn't make sense." I disagree. Humans are infinitely varied. There are things that I can do that others can't. And there are things others can do that I can't. What's wrong with admitting that and helping one another out?

Offering, and accepting, help is one of the most human acts. There is a very special connection that is made every time one person reaches out a hand and that hand is grasped by another. I could even make the argument that to ask for help is to give another the opportunity to experience the connection and is therefore a good deed.

Related Topics: Multiple Sclerosis Health Center, Multiple Sclerosis Support Group

Technorati Tags: multiplesclerosis, livingwithmultiplesclerosis, MS

Advice: For our own good?

Have you ever heard that phrase from others? Or found yourself using it when speaking to others? I came up with this topic because I found myself thinking this very phrase about a friend. When I 'heard' myself, I had to stop and think.

As a woman with MS, countless friends and family members have felt the need to tell me things or offer advice 'for my own good'. In point of fact, their messages have rarely actually been in my best interests, although I'm sure that was (usually) their intent. But had I listened, I would have missed some of the richest, most fulfilling moments of my life. The comments were usually based on a belief that my limitations (that is, my MS) should be the primary deciding factor in how I structure and live my life.

I disagree. MS is a fact in my life. So is my grey hair and my sense of humor and my smile and my age and... Well, you get the idea. Yes, I have to consider the fact that I have MS when I make decisions about a huge variety of things. But it is only one 'fact' about me and the world I live in. I would be selling myself short if I put it at the top of the list or allowed my friends to limit me 'for my own good'.

Related Links: Vacationing With Multiple Sclerosis, Why More Women Get Multiple Sclerosis

Technorati Tags: MS, multiplesclerosis, livingwithMS

Silent Migraines

This is a broad name for migraines that do not cause pain. They seem to be reported by some people with MS and the visual symptoms sometimes make people think that they are having an episode of optic neuritis.

There is some debate in the medical literature about whether these are even appropriately called migraines. Regardless of the eventual resolution of that debate, having a visual or silent migraine can be very disturbing...especially for folks with MS who may fear that they are having ON. Fortunately, the symptoms usually last for an hour or two or even less. And, unlike ON, there is no pain associated with silent or optical migraines.

If you want to read more about this, click here.

Related Topics: Can Alternative Medicine Ease Your Pain?, Coping with Migraines

Technorati Tags: migrainesandms, silentmigraines, opticalmigraines

Your symptoms: MS or not?

There are a lot of folks out there with symptoms that COULD be Multiple Sclerosis...or not. This is some general advice for those of you in that situation.

First of all, start keeping a log of your symptoms, including how severe and anything that makes your symptoms better or worse. That will help you both in figuring out ways to live with them and, by summarizing your log, you will have a clearer picture to share with the doc next time you see him. Limit your summary to a single page so that there is time to review it during the appointment.

With MS, some people present with symptoms before they have changes detectable by MRI. Since most neurologists wait for the appearance of lesions before diagnosing MS, that puts folks in a sort of never-Neverland.

If you are in that situation, you have several choices at this point. First is to wait and return to the doc in six months or a year to see whether the MRI has changed when it is repeated. Another is to seek out an MS specialist.

Folks who specialize in diagnosing and treating MS are usually pretty good diagnosticians overall, and it is definitely worth seeing a specialist if MS is a possible diagnosis. Another option is to talk with your doctor about whether there may be meds that will help with your symptoms REGARDLESS of the final diagnosis. There are several meds out there that might be helpful -- ask.

Related Topics: Multiple Sclerosis Health Center, MS Assessment (sponsored)

Technorati Tags: multiplesclerosissymptoms, diagnosingmultiplesclerosis, MS