My Top 10 Reasons Why Men Don't Want Sex

A recent blog by Dr. Louanne Cole Weston on why women don't want sex had me thinking. What about the guys? Don't our feelings count? Isn't it important what the men want and feel? Why is all the attention about when women want or don't want sex? What about our needs? Isn't the man supposed to be half the relationship?

I have had a busy practice for almost 20 years, with extensive traveling and speaking and answering questions on WebMD's Men's Health and Male Fertility Message boards. It has become clear to me over these decades in this field that it is about time that woman acknowledge that compromise doesn't mean getting what they want or don't want. It means giving in and sharing in their resolution. How about meeting somewhere in the middle. So...

Here, for the first time ever, the top 10 reasons Men Don't Want Sex:

1. 
   
2. 
   
3. 
   
4. 
   
5. 
   
6. 
   
7. 
   
8. 
   
9. 
   
10. 
    

.... okay, so there aren't any reasons that men would not want sex.

But doesn't that say a lot? Actually for men it is something different...apparently significantly different from how women feel about sex. And that will be discussed in the next blog.

Related Topics: Sexual Fitness for Men: The Hardness Factor, 10 Secrets to a Better Love Life

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A Penis Bank? Just who is going to make the deposit?

I just read that the Chinese performed a breakthrough penile transplant. Though unsuccessful, this raises many questions that remain unanswered.

First of all, who said "Hey, sure I'd love to donate my penis to a total stranger!"

Or what about being an organ donor? We all think of giving up our heart or kidneys or even pancreas. Sure that is fine. I don't need those things where I am going. But wait, do I really want my penis to live on for years after I am gone?

What if there is an afterlife and you need your member? When you sign the organ donor card, I don't think anyone really meant "that organ." Clearly this is an issue that needs to be resolved before penis banks take off here in the States.

Then as things progress to the absurd, as they often do, are we going to see "designer penis banks" popping up? (no pun intended) Will you be able to go online and peruse a catalogue of premium penises to choose from or walk down Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills and see the newest high fashion Armani or Versace penis?

Will we get to the point where men get to change or improve their "parts" as women do so many body parts throughout their lives? I can see it now: Get your midlife crisis Corvette model penis, new and improved over last year's model!

And then who decides what is best? Is it the man looking for increased respect and admiration from his other male friends? "Hey, Jim did you get a look at Tom's new companion? Pretty impressive!" will be heard from the men's locker room.

Or does he go for impressing his wife? "Why thank you, honey, you remembered it's my birthday!"

I think before we all jump on the "I want a new penis" bandwagon we need to step back and take a good look at ourselves. Is this really how we want to think of ourselves, with a sort of penis du jour attitude? I think not.

Related Topics: Should Donors Be Able to Sell Organs?, WebMD Video: The Importance of Organ Donation

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Lessons from 9/11: 5 Bullets to Kill Terror

It all starts with understanding the goal of the terrorists - to cripple us with fear. Terrorists aren't celebrating the destruction of a building or the death of a few innocent souls. What they thrive on, what drives them to spend years planning an attack, is the desire for sheer and total panic and fear that grips everyone that learns of their actions.

Terrorists today depend more on the magic of real-time 24/7 in-your-face news coverage, an unwitting accomplice, to play the most important hand in their attack. What would happen if they blew up a bridge and no one knew or cared? They need to show the world what they have done. To kill and maim innocent people. Without warning, to destroy lives through random barbaric acts. Their ultimate goal - intimidation and blackmail through fear.

So what can we as individuals do to stop this fear, to restore control and maintain internal peace? The answer is simple. All we have to do is be prepared. The real damage that comes out of any terrorist act is the deep-seated emotional loss of control. No electricity, no water, no food, no access to paramedics, fire or police. In fact, nothing but a sudden and dramatic loss of everything we take for granted.

But we can do something. Through simple planning, we can take steps to prepare and anticipate. We can build up our own personal arsenal of knowledge and preparedness, to restore, maintain and control our lives even in times of uncertainty.

Preparedness is the ultimate anti-terrorism tool. If they can only hurt us briefly, and we can continue on with our lives without fear and panic, then the impact of their attack is dramatically reduced. We can guarantee that we can provide for our own needs.

And isn't this what we teach our children? Isn't this what our country was founded on so long ago? Self-sufficiency! "Grow up and take responsibility for yourself," we tell our children. "Don't sit there and wait for someone to come along and solve your problems."

After any terrorist attack (or even natural disaster) do you really think you can just wait and Big Brother will rush in to save you? No one in police or fire or the government will tell you that they are there for you immediately after any attack. It is unrealistic to count on someone else to be there for you. They will be there to pick up the pieces days or even weeks later.

It is you and you alone that is responsible for caring for yourself in the immediate aftermath of any disaster, natural or man-made. The government has even come out and told us to have an emergency survival kit.

So use this time to act.

• Talk to your family, friends and neighbors.
• Discuss what you will do and where you will meet.
• Buy extra batteries and cans of food.
• Keep your gas tank at least half full.
• Read up on preparedness.

Then, next time you hear of a terrorist threat, you can rest comfortably knowing that you are prepared. No matter what they do, you are ready. And if we all can do this, the terrorists are a lot weaker than they think.

Related Topics: Antidote to Terrorism: Preparedness, Crisis! How Will You Respond?

Technorati Tags: 9/11, terrorism, fear, disaster preparedness

Lessons from 9/11: Prepare for Disaster Today

This is a special week--we are remembering the panic and fear that hit us so suddenly 5 years ago. "How could they do this?" "What was next?" "Could as many as 50,000 people be in the Towers?" "Was this the beginning of an all-out assault?" "Will they strike in our hometown next?"

These questions ran through everyone's minds. How quickly we forget. For many of us, it has become business as usual.

A common thought today is that terrorism is something that affects other people, not us. Even Hurricane Katrina was something that happened to "those people." I would think that every American with any compassion or concern for their loved ones would stop and think about the horrors our fellow citizens have suffered in the recent past, both natural and man-made. Many thousands still feel the pain every day for their losses. And yet we do nothing.

Is it a normal human response to avoid the painful thoughts and feelings that could move us to action? Is it normal to ignore this fear and, in so doing, to risk the our lives of ourselves and those of loved ones? Could this explain why so many people living in disaster-prone areas seem surprised when a catastrophe hits?

I know of many who live in Los Angeles or San Francisco who are almost proud of the fact that the only preparedness supplies they have in case of a big earthquake are an extra package of toilet paper and a 6-pack of Diet Coke. If you live in an area that is threatened by hurricanes yearly, how hard is it to keep extra food and water and gas in the tank? We hear from experts "in the know" that it is not IF the terrorists hit us again but WHEN and WHERE.

To its credit, our government keeps trying to remind us to be prepared. I often hear radio messages and read billboards, all calling us to action. The news media really tries to keep the threat at the forefront of our attention. And yet, most of us seem to have this instinctive need to believe it will never happen to us.

What will it take to stir us to action? How many times do we need to see and experience the devastating loss of others before we are compelled to prepare ourselves for a potential disaster-- whether it is a natural disaster or an act of terror?

Here is a challenge for you -- take a few moments and think about what you have done to protect yourself and your loved ones. How have you prepared for the loss of electricity? No police or fire protection? No heat for your homes or gas for your car? No food at the stores or water in the pipes? Then if you realize that you are not prepared, do something about it. Buy some water and flashlight batteries. Always keep your car's gas tank half full. Talk to your neighbors. Then you have taken the first steps to being ready, just in case. Not because of fear, but because it is the right thing to do.

Consider this ancient Chinese saying: "Is it not already too late if one waits until one is thirsty to begin digging a well?" *

*"When Technology Fails", Matthew Stein, Clear Light Publishers, 2000

Related Topics: Docs at Front Line of Terror War, WebMD University: Planning Ahead: Preparing for Disaster

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