Feeling the Pain of the Disabled: The Lady Within
This weekend I had the opportunity to attend a missions conference related to reaching the disabled for Christ. It was such an inspiring weekend for me. I always related missionaries to people traveling to far off lands to share and preach the gospel to others. I never gave much thought to some of the other types of ministries that are out there-- until this weekend.
I was brought up to be respectful to folks less fortunate than I. And throughout my nursing career, I have found a special love for both the elderly and those with disabilities. I hate to see people speak harshly, abuse the elderly or less fortunate due to a disability or limitation. It is too easy to define a person by their disability...It hurts to be ridiculed. It also hurts to be ignored, or treated as if invisible. Quite often people know when someone takes steps to avoid them. Can you imagine what it might be like to be the person with the disability? I believe these people often feel a pain that others may not understand.
I remember speaking to a lady who had Cerebral Palsy many years ago. This lady walked with adapted shoes and a leg brace and she rode a special bus to church every Sunday. One Sunday while standing next to each other during the coffee hour she started talking to me. In her broken speech pattern and along with her constant shifting of weight from leg to leg, she blurted out "I love kids and I wanted to have one of my own but I will never be able to have one because I can't. I have cerebral palsy. " Then she just looked down--continuing her shifting stand. I never forgot that. Kids were scooting around playfully in one area and others were being held by chatting parents. One little toddler was walking along holding his mom's hands overhead for support and balance. This lady stood along the wall taking all of this in...No one greeted her or brought her into conversation. No one acknowledged her presence-- only the one who came to get her for her ride back to the group home where she lived. That lady was feeling sorrow and hurt. She was feeling a sense of loss.
I had to ask myself why I was surprised by what she shared. Why should it be surprising that this women should desire a child of her own? After all, she was a woman of childbearing years just like me. But you see, I wasn't focused on her as a person. All I could see were the manifestations of her disease and disability.
During that following week I found myself thinking about that lady...The following Sunday, I was carrying my daughter and I stopped by the lady in the hallway and said hello. That day I took the time to do one more thing...I took the time to introduced her to my daughter. I will never forget the look on her face as she looked at me and then at my daughter. She became so excited! I stood there watching her talk to my daughter. She reached out to her gingerly and touched her little dress and rubbed her little arm quickly with her hand-- all the while talking to her--saying her name. As awkward as her gestures were and as broken and distorted her speech was, I saw a little glow behind the thick lensed glasses she wore and she had a grin from ear to ear...and I was glad... From that Sunday on, she would look for us and come quickly over to say hello. And it was good.
I am thankful for the lessons learned from that special lady...It is my hope I was able to ease her pain a little by sharing my little girl with her that day. Although I started doing this as a way of helping a hurting lady, I found myself doing it for another reason. I wanted my daughter to grow up knowing there are people that have difficulties, challenges and conditions we are blessed not to have. But this doesn't make them any less a person who deserves a chance to live and experience all that life has to offer.
My daughter is grown and married now and we both have moved away from our hometown. I am glad to see my daughter share a kind and compassionate heart of her own. And I hope that maybe it might have started growing that one Sunday so many years ago--when I introduced her to the one who helped me to look past a disability and to see the special lady within.
May I ask? When you look, what do YOU see--A disabled person or a person-- with a disability?
Indie
Related Topics: Rosalind Carter: Mental Illness in America, The Disabled: How and How Many May Surprise You
I was brought up to be respectful to folks less fortunate than I. And throughout my nursing career, I have found a special love for both the elderly and those with disabilities. I hate to see people speak harshly, abuse the elderly or less fortunate due to a disability or limitation. It is too easy to define a person by their disability...It hurts to be ridiculed. It also hurts to be ignored, or treated as if invisible. Quite often people know when someone takes steps to avoid them. Can you imagine what it might be like to be the person with the disability? I believe these people often feel a pain that others may not understand.
I remember speaking to a lady who had Cerebral Palsy many years ago. This lady walked with adapted shoes and a leg brace and she rode a special bus to church every Sunday. One Sunday while standing next to each other during the coffee hour she started talking to me. In her broken speech pattern and along with her constant shifting of weight from leg to leg, she blurted out "I love kids and I wanted to have one of my own but I will never be able to have one because I can't. I have cerebral palsy. " Then she just looked down--continuing her shifting stand. I never forgot that. Kids were scooting around playfully in one area and others were being held by chatting parents. One little toddler was walking along holding his mom's hands overhead for support and balance. This lady stood along the wall taking all of this in...No one greeted her or brought her into conversation. No one acknowledged her presence-- only the one who came to get her for her ride back to the group home where she lived. That lady was feeling sorrow and hurt. She was feeling a sense of loss.
I had to ask myself why I was surprised by what she shared. Why should it be surprising that this women should desire a child of her own? After all, she was a woman of childbearing years just like me. But you see, I wasn't focused on her as a person. All I could see were the manifestations of her disease and disability.
During that following week I found myself thinking about that lady...The following Sunday, I was carrying my daughter and I stopped by the lady in the hallway and said hello. That day I took the time to do one more thing...I took the time to introduced her to my daughter. I will never forget the look on her face as she looked at me and then at my daughter. She became so excited! I stood there watching her talk to my daughter. She reached out to her gingerly and touched her little dress and rubbed her little arm quickly with her hand-- all the while talking to her--saying her name. As awkward as her gestures were and as broken and distorted her speech was, I saw a little glow behind the thick lensed glasses she wore and she had a grin from ear to ear...and I was glad... From that Sunday on, she would look for us and come quickly over to say hello. And it was good.
I am thankful for the lessons learned from that special lady...It is my hope I was able to ease her pain a little by sharing my little girl with her that day. Although I started doing this as a way of helping a hurting lady, I found myself doing it for another reason. I wanted my daughter to grow up knowing there are people that have difficulties, challenges and conditions we are blessed not to have. But this doesn't make them any less a person who deserves a chance to live and experience all that life has to offer.
My daughter is grown and married now and we both have moved away from our hometown. I am glad to see my daughter share a kind and compassionate heart of her own. And I hope that maybe it might have started growing that one Sunday so many years ago--when I introduced her to the one who helped me to look past a disability and to see the special lady within.
May I ask? When you look, what do YOU see--A disabled person or a person-- with a disability?
Indie
Related Topics: Rosalind Carter: Mental Illness in America, The Disabled: How and How Many May Surprise You
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