Simplifying Life Is Never Simple!!
Curtrina commented regarding de-stressing:
Simplifying life is never simple. Life is too complex and full of demands. De-stressing brings on its own stress. Every time I see the calendar, I am reminded way too often of just how fast time is flying by and the demands just keep coming without a break. There never seems to be enough hours in a day...So how does a person even begin to consider taking steps to simplify life and reduce stress? Here are some of the steps I took and some of the personal lessons I learned on my journey.
The first thing I did was take a good hard look at myself. Ask myself a few questions.
What types of things do I feel are stressful? Lots of phone calls? Changes in my plans? Unexpected demands?
What things jar my patience? Whining kids? Chronic complainers?
What is wrong with change?
How do I perceive unexpected demands on me? Why?
How many things am I involved in at any one time? Why so many things?
How do I manage my time?
Are my goals realistic?
The next step in the process can be a challenge. It takes a lot of effort and an open mind. It takes a willingness to consider new things and not assume anything. It involves my taking a look at each thing on my list and exploring a different approach. There are two things for sure.
Some other things I have had to learn along the way involve saying no. I tend to be a type A and co-dependent person who is always doing something and always on the run. I am often quick to offer my services and support to help others but in so doing, I use up all I have and lack what I need to take care of me. I have found that the more I am willing to do, the more people expect me to do. So one thing I began to do was set limits and boundaries. I began to pay attention to problems and recognize that other people were responsible for taking care of their own problems. I did not have to burden myself with them. It was ok to say no when I could not help someone. I no longer had to feel obligated to offer my assistance every time the opportunity showed itself.
Another lesson I learned was that I am a very emotional person. If I can take some of the emotion out of my responses I can gain better control of how I respond in the moment. I adopted a new mantra when something unexpected occurred...I would greet it with a straightforward statement..."I will deal with it." I did not allow myself to emotionally react to it. Amazingly enough, I realized, I didn't get into quite the frenzies I once did. Now this isn't to say I had a miraculous cure for all my problems and that I suddenly found I had all the time I needed to accomplish everything I needed to. And I am not saying I no longer have stress in my life and I always take my own advice. Because my daughter has been very clear on telling me I need to take my own advice more often...And she is right...But at least, I took a first step. We have to start somewhere. Make a plan, set some goals. Take some time and set some limits and boundaries. Act rather than react. And like anything else, we have to continuously work at it.
Now when I get a migraine, I do not react with fear as I once did. I tell myself matter of factly I will deal with it...and I do. Now this is not to say I don't have to take meds sometimes for pain or I don't have to stop what I am doing and rest. I still have pain. I still take meds and I still find some episodes do interrupt what I am doing - making me change my plans. And that is ok.
I still have a ways to go for sure. But when I look at my life overall there is much improvement and I am thankful I took that first step. I hope Curtrina will take that step too and visit my message board to report her successes!
Related Topics: 'Tis the Season to Stress Less, Migraine Management
For me it doesnt matter how much I try to destress someone or something comes along to test my patients and my head starts to pounding again.
Simplifying life is never simple. Life is too complex and full of demands. De-stressing brings on its own stress. Every time I see the calendar, I am reminded way too often of just how fast time is flying by and the demands just keep coming without a break. There never seems to be enough hours in a day...So how does a person even begin to consider taking steps to simplify life and reduce stress? Here are some of the steps I took and some of the personal lessons I learned on my journey.
The first thing I did was take a good hard look at myself. Ask myself a few questions.
What types of things do I feel are stressful? Lots of phone calls? Changes in my plans? Unexpected demands?
What things jar my patience? Whining kids? Chronic complainers?
What is wrong with change?
How do I perceive unexpected demands on me? Why?
How many things am I involved in at any one time? Why so many things?
How do I manage my time?
Are my goals realistic?
The next step in the process can be a challenge. It takes a lot of effort and an open mind. It takes a willingness to consider new things and not assume anything. It involves my taking a look at each thing on my list and exploring a different approach. There are two things for sure.
- Life will always be full of stress and demands
- We can't control a lot of things. We can control how we respond to them.
Some other things I have had to learn along the way involve saying no. I tend to be a type A and co-dependent person who is always doing something and always on the run. I am often quick to offer my services and support to help others but in so doing, I use up all I have and lack what I need to take care of me. I have found that the more I am willing to do, the more people expect me to do. So one thing I began to do was set limits and boundaries. I began to pay attention to problems and recognize that other people were responsible for taking care of their own problems. I did not have to burden myself with them. It was ok to say no when I could not help someone. I no longer had to feel obligated to offer my assistance every time the opportunity showed itself.
Another lesson I learned was that I am a very emotional person. If I can take some of the emotion out of my responses I can gain better control of how I respond in the moment. I adopted a new mantra when something unexpected occurred...I would greet it with a straightforward statement..."I will deal with it." I did not allow myself to emotionally react to it. Amazingly enough, I realized, I didn't get into quite the frenzies I once did. Now this isn't to say I had a miraculous cure for all my problems and that I suddenly found I had all the time I needed to accomplish everything I needed to. And I am not saying I no longer have stress in my life and I always take my own advice. Because my daughter has been very clear on telling me I need to take my own advice more often...And she is right...But at least, I took a first step. We have to start somewhere. Make a plan, set some goals. Take some time and set some limits and boundaries. Act rather than react. And like anything else, we have to continuously work at it.
Now when I get a migraine, I do not react with fear as I once did. I tell myself matter of factly I will deal with it...and I do. Now this is not to say I don't have to take meds sometimes for pain or I don't have to stop what I am doing and rest. I still have pain. I still take meds and I still find some episodes do interrupt what I am doing - making me change my plans. And that is ok.
I still have a ways to go for sure. But when I look at my life overall there is much improvement and I am thankful I took that first step. I hope Curtrina will take that step too and visit my message board to report her successes!
Related Topics: 'Tis the Season to Stress Less, Migraine Management
Tags:
0 Comments:
Post a Comment