A New Years Resolution I Can Keep

Usually after Christmas, one of the next topics of conversation at some point becomes New Years Resolutions. The common jokes usually evolve around those resolutions that were made with the best of intentions and that failed the quickest. Well I would like the year 2006 to be different. I want to make resolutions that will be kept and goals that will be reached for a change.

The first thing I need to consider is why my past resolutions failed. Doing so may shed some light on how not to fail this time. For me, I tend to make my goals rather lofty. Doing so sets me up for failure...So I decided to change my approach. Rather than make my goals to achieve a certain level of weight loss in a month, or achieve a certain amount of organization around my house in 3 months, I would make a resolution to combat those things that lead to failure in achieving those goals.

My New Years resolution is to look at my goals carefully and be willing to change them if necessary to avoid failure. I will make a plan now to approach those things that steer me away from my goals. I will make a plan to avoid the pitfalls that I know are out there waiting to interrupt my path. I will make my goals small enough to achieve quickly along my journey with a plan to add a new goal as soon as I reach the previous one-all part of the progression toward my final destination.

Looking at resolutions and goals this way gives me hope. I can make 2006 a good year full of accomplishments and healthy changes and next year at this time, I can feel good about myself and what I have achieved.

Related Topics: Healthy Resolutions for Men, Keeping New Year's Resolutions

Tags: 2006Resolutions, set goals, WebMD

Preparing For A More Comfortable New Year

Has 2005 been a painful year for you? Have you missed out on things you normally enjoy because you hurt too much? Have you experienced a loss? Did your pain management regimen keep you less than comfortable? Maybe it is time for change!

Try changing the way you think. When you start to think negative thoughts, stop yourself and make yourself think of something positive - even if it means telling yourself you will not keep thinking negatively.

Have you ever practiced reciting affirmations? These are statements that you write or record on tape and recite or replay on a regular basis to reinforce truths that you have not allowed yourself to believe until now.

Consider learning new self-help techniques to build your pain and stress management arsenal. There are some very good books on the market worth exploring. Progressive Relaxation techniques are relatively simple to learn and valuable to include in your pain management tool box. Imagery is also a very powerful tool to consider. Try reciting your own imagery session and listening to it. It is amazing how your body will respond to your own voice.

How about creating a special spot in your home for just you? A little nook, a special corner, decorate it with special items and momentos or maybe a specially selected piece of furniture and use it as a place to go when you need to focus or take a break.

How about setting aside a little time to do something special for yourself. Bible study, prayer and/meditation, listen to music, take a warm bubble bath, do yoga or exercise. When was the last time you spent a little time and pampered yourself? Have you ever been to a spa? Had a massage or a facial? How about treating yourself to a manicure or a pedicure? If you don't feel like you can afford to do this now, how about putting aside a few dollars each week until you can afford to do so?

Develop a home environment that is warm and comforting. Your home should be a haven to come to after dealing with the challenges and pressures of life. How about burning some scented candles - add a little aroma therapy to your life...Maybe studying and applying a little Feng Shui in your home will help you find a balance and energy that will add to your ability to manage pain and limitations, heal and find peace and comfort in your life.

There is no time like the present to perform a self-evaluation. It is up to you to make necessary changes in your life. So why not choose to do so now?

Related Topics: Stay Young With Yoga, Spirit Stronger Than Disease

Technorati Tags: self-development, personal improvement, health, migraine, pain management, WebMD

Simplifying Life Is Never Simple!!

Curtrina commented regarding de-stressing:

For me it doesnt matter how much I try to destress someone or something comes along to test my patients and my head starts to pounding again.

Simplifying life is never simple. Life is too complex and full of demands. De-stressing brings on its own stress. Every time I see the calendar, I am reminded way too often of just how fast time is flying by and the demands just keep coming without a break. There never seems to be enough hours in a day...So how does a person even begin to consider taking steps to simplify life and reduce stress? Here are some of the steps I took and some of the personal lessons I learned on my journey.

The first thing I did was take a good hard look at myself. Ask myself a few questions.

What types of things do I feel are stressful? Lots of phone calls? Changes in my plans? Unexpected demands?
What things jar my patience? Whining kids? Chronic complainers?
What is wrong with change?
How do I perceive unexpected demands on me? Why?
How many things am I involved in at any one time? Why so many things?
How do I manage my time?
Are my goals realistic?

The next step in the process can be a challenge. It takes a lot of effort and an open mind. It takes a willingness to consider new things and not assume anything. It involves my taking a look at each thing on my list and exploring a different approach. There are two things for sure.

1. Life will always be full of stress and demands
2. We can't control a lot of things. We can control how we respond to them.

Some other things I have had to learn along the way involve saying no. I tend to be a type A and co-dependent person who is always doing something and always on the run. I am often quick to offer my services and support to help others but in so doing, I use up all I have and lack what I need to take care of me. I have found that the more I am willing to do, the more people expect me to do. So one thing I began to do was set limits and boundaries. I began to pay attention to problems and recognize that other people were responsible for taking care of their own problems. I did not have to burden myself with them. It was ok to say no when I could not help someone. I no longer had to feel obligated to offer my assistance every time the opportunity showed itself.

Another lesson I learned was that I am a very emotional person. If I can take some of the emotion out of my responses I can gain better control of how I respond in the moment. I adopted a new mantra when something unexpected occurred...I would greet it with a straightforward statement..."I will deal with it." I did not allow myself to emotionally react to it. Amazingly enough, I realized, I didn't get into quite the frenzies I once did. Now this isn't to say I had a miraculous cure for all my problems and that I suddenly found I had all the time I needed to accomplish everything I needed to. And I am not saying I no longer have stress in my life and I always take my own advice. Because my daughter has been very clear on telling me I need to take my own advice more often...And she is right...But at least, I took a first step. We have to start somewhere. Make a plan, set some goals. Take some time and set some limits and boundaries. Act rather than react. And like anything else, we have to continuously work at it.

Now when I get a migraine, I do not react with fear as I once did. I tell myself matter of factly I will deal with it...and I do. Now this is not to say I don't have to take meds sometimes for pain or I don't have to stop what I am doing and rest. I still have pain. I still take meds and I still find some episodes do interrupt what I am doing - making me change my plans. And that is ok.

I still have a ways to go for sure. But when I look at my life overall there is much improvement and I am thankful I took that first step. I hope Curtrina will take that step too and visit my message board to report her successes!


Related Topics: 'Tis the Season to Stress Less, Migraine Management

Tags: stress,timemanagement,migraine

Coping with Loss During the Holidays

Experiencing loss of any kind can be painful. It can be extremely difficult when losses occur during the holiday season. A time of year that is expected to be full of great joy and cheer can be a time of dread for others. Painful memories and feelings of loneliness can rob people of the ability to enjoy the season. Depression can lead people to withdraw from family and friends during a time of heightened socialization and celebration. Increased incidents of suicide are often noted. Even mild pain or discomfort can act as a reason not to join others for even small and simple celebrations or social gatherings.

Be watchful for changes in loved ones during this time of year. If you find that someone you know or love has suffered a loss of any kind and/or seems to be feeling less than festive this holiday season, be mindful. Reach out to them. Let them know you care. Be there to support them and if their symptoms really impair their ability to function, they may need to seek professional help.

Visit WebMD's guide to grief and grieving to learn more.

Related Topics: Holidays Put Depressed Teens at Risk, Emotional Survival Guide for the Holidays

Tags: grief,depression,suicide

Comforting Christmas Gift Ideas

Are you looking for comforting holiday gift ideas for someone you care about? Here are some great ideas!

Consider these gifts for loved ones suffering from arthritis pain:

• Heating pad
• Ice bag or gel packs
• Handheld massagers or vibrating massagers
• Joint wraps
• Magnetic wraps and insoles
• Infrared scarfs, socks or comforter

How about these gifts for your friend or relative dealing with back pain?

• Room fresheners or candles for aromatherapy
• Bath oils and skin lotions that sooth and relax
• Herbal teas to help unwind
• Herbal pillows that can be placed in freezer or microwave
• Car seat pad or lumbar support
• Grabber for reaching things that fall
• Supportive pillows that cradle the neck
• Body pillows

These are great stocking stuffers for anyone, but really nice for those people dealing with pain management:

• Relaxation tapes
• Eye mask
• Spa Gift Certificate

If you lack funds to shop, perhaps you can offer a gift of your time. Give a certificate worth an hour or two of your time to watch children so a parent or caregiver can have some "ME time" to relax and ease their pain. You will be surprised how much this can help someone feel better!!

If you are not into watching children, how about offering to assist in running errands, or housecleaning, maybe offer to drive someone to an appointment when they can go alone? How thoughtful is that??

If you have a friend or loved one who is unable to get out, you might consider giving some craft supplies, or crossword puzzle books, hobby items--anything they can use to focus their attention and keep busy. This helps to fight depression and boredom.

Ok...These are some ideas to help you out!!! Now can you think of something that I haven't listed?

Related Topics: How To Choose Healthy Holiday Gifts, Holiday Gifts for Everyone

Surviving Winter

Winter can take its toll on folks in a many ways. For those with arthritis, the cold, damp weather can increase stiffness and pain. This can lead to depression.

The potential for falls is greater in icy weather and extra care needs to be taken to ensure walkways and driveways are well salted and sanded as needed. Roadways can be slippery and ice-covered with the risk of accidents great. People who have experienced accidents can develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and this can lead to great suffering if not identified and treated early on. An extreme fear of going outside or driving may be a sign that such a condition may be present.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is another condition that presents itself during the winter months. SAD relates to the shorter daylight hours and has been blamed for sluggish metabolism and weight gain. If you think you or someone you care about may be experiencing any one of these, reach out to them and encourage them to see their doctor.

Don't let winter get the best of you or those you care about...

Related Topics: Winter Darkness, Season Depression, Impact of Car Accidents Can Be Devastating

Feeling the Pain of the Disabled: The Lady Within

This weekend I had the opportunity to attend a missions conference related to reaching the disabled for Christ. It was such an inspiring weekend for me. I always related missionaries to people traveling to far off lands to share and preach the gospel to others. I never gave much thought to some of the other types of ministries that are out there-- until this weekend.

I was brought up to be respectful to folks less fortunate than I. And throughout my nursing career, I have found a special love for both the elderly and those with disabilities. I hate to see people speak harshly, abuse the elderly or less fortunate due to a disability or limitation. It is too easy to define a person by their disability...It hurts to be ridiculed. It also hurts to be ignored, or treated as if invisible. Quite often people know when someone takes steps to avoid them. Can you imagine what it might be like to be the person with the disability? I believe these people often feel a pain that others may not understand.

I remember speaking to a lady who had Cerebral Palsy many years ago. This lady walked with adapted shoes and a leg brace and she rode a special bus to church every Sunday. One Sunday while standing next to each other during the coffee hour she started talking to me. In her broken speech pattern and along with her constant shifting of weight from leg to leg, she blurted out "I love kids and I wanted to have one of my own but I will never be able to have one because I can't. I have cerebral palsy. " Then she just looked down--continuing her shifting stand. I never forgot that. Kids were scooting around playfully in one area and others were being held by chatting parents. One little toddler was walking along holding his mom's hands overhead for support and balance. This lady stood along the wall taking all of this in...No one greeted her or brought her into conversation. No one acknowledged her presence-- only the one who came to get her for her ride back to the group home where she lived. That lady was feeling sorrow and hurt. She was feeling a sense of loss.

I had to ask myself why I was surprised by what she shared. Why should it be surprising that this women should desire a child of her own? After all, she was a woman of childbearing years just like me. But you see, I wasn't focused on her as a person. All I could see were the manifestations of her disease and disability.

During that following week I found myself thinking about that lady...The following Sunday, I was carrying my daughter and I stopped by the lady in the hallway and said hello. That day I took the time to do one more thing...I took the time to introduced her to my daughter. I will never forget the look on her face as she looked at me and then at my daughter. She became so excited! I stood there watching her talk to my daughter. She reached out to her gingerly and touched her little dress and rubbed her little arm quickly with her hand-- all the while talking to her--saying her name. As awkward as her gestures were and as broken and distorted her speech was, I saw a little glow behind the thick lensed glasses she wore and she had a grin from ear to ear...and I was glad... From that Sunday on, she would look for us and come quickly over to say hello. And it was good.

I am thankful for the lessons learned from that special lady...It is my hope I was able to ease her pain a little by sharing my little girl with her that day. Although I started doing this as a way of helping a hurting lady, I found myself doing it for another reason. I wanted my daughter to grow up knowing there are people that have difficulties, challenges and conditions we are blessed not to have. But this doesn't make them any less a person who deserves a chance to live and experience all that life has to offer.

My daughter is grown and married now and we both have moved away from our hometown. I am glad to see my daughter share a kind and compassionate heart of her own. And I hope that maybe it might have started growing that one Sunday so many years ago--when I introduced her to the one who helped me to look past a disability and to see the special lady within.

May I ask? When you look, what do YOU see--A disabled person or a person-- with a disability?

Indie

Related Topics: Rosalind Carter: Mental Illness in America, The Disabled: How and How Many May Surprise You

Simplify life and decrease pain

It is no secret stress often leads to pain. It seems logical that reducing stress could lead to a more comfortable life. Is there some part of your life that seems to stress you more than others? Is there something that overwhelms you and adds stress and frustration to your life? Do you find yourself thinking you would feel better if you could just accomplish a particular task, reach a goal or see an achievement? How about your schedule? Is your life filled with demands from all angles? Do you run non-stop morning to night--day after day? Are your weekends spent trying to relax yet you feel guilty because you are? I have struggled with this and all of the stress does nothing to help with my chronic headaches and body aches.

I am messy. I tend to collect everything. Once I have it, I find every conceivable reason to keep it--real or imaginary. I don't dare get rid of anything for fear I may need it one day or I might miss reading something valuable or interesting. I have magazines that are years old. I have clothes that don't fit. I have receipts for groceries purchased months ago. I am drowning in paper and clutter. And it doesn't stop there. I recently wrote about cleaning out the clutter not too long ago and I felt so good about that accomplishment. But now, I see the problem is back and so is the frustration.

I recently read a great book called Simplify Your Life written by Marcia Ramsland. She pointed out different ways to simplify life and get organized. This book really got me thinking and planning. As I look around me I see a lot of work needing to be done in order to get my house the way I really want it to be. Up to now I have felt very overwhelmed by the tasks of maintaining my home alone. I often start projects only to find myself stopping before finishing. More often, however I don't even get started. This book helped me to take a look at why this might be happening.

I feel if I can get some things accomplished around my home, I will feel better in a lot of ways. I will cut down on my stress and frustration. My ability to relax will improve because I won't keep looking at things that remind me of all that needs to be done. Being able to relax will help me manage pain and difficulties when they do arise. So I decided to take some of Marcia's suggestions to heart.

I am very busy and one of the issues I have is trying to fit too much into a day. Doing so leaves no time for me to relax and enjoy myself. I need to become more realistic about my time. One of the things Marcia suggests is to manage my time both horizontally and vertically. It requires me to look at all the projects that need to be accomplished. And to look at my time--not just from day to night, but from week to month as well. Rather than overwhelm myself by trying to accomplish everything all at once, I need to break projects down into tasks that I can perform a little at a time as my time permits. Gosh I might even be able to accomplish a little bit each evening rather than wait until the weekend. This would give me a chance to really enjoy myself without feeling I really should be working at home instead. So I have created a list of projects that I need to get done. I am in the process of breaking them down into bite size tasks so I can get started on them. I am going to adjust my timeline to be more realistic this time and I am going to recognize my accomplishments and celebrate them as I go.

How about you? Do you have something that keeps bothering you? A huge project? Something you need to accomplish but just don't feel you can? Do you have a schedule that runs you into the ground? Do you have problems sleeping at night because you find yourself trying to figure out how you will meet deadlines, accomplish goals? Meet the demands placed upon you? If you answer yes to any of these questions, I encourage you to take some time to evaluate your situation. Simplifying your life will help you feel better in many ways. If you can't change your responsibilities, perhaps you can change the way you approach them. Explore alternative ways to achieve what you need to. Be realistic about time and abilities. Don't take on more than you can handle. See if you find yourself feeling better with a lighter load. Hopefully you will find less pain in your life by trying these life changes.

Indie

Related Topics: Feng Shui, 6 Tips for Better Time Management

Avoiding Pain This Holiday Season

Is the stress of the holidays getting to you? Do you hurt as you challenge the shopping crowds and struggle to accomplish all that needs to get done? Are you overdoing it? Here are some suggestions to help you get through the holiday season as comfortably as possible.

• Don't lose sight of the true meaning of Christmas. The Christmas holiday was originally designed to celebrate the birth of Christ. It has become a major commercial holiday because people made it that way and retailers have just taken advantage of that.
• Know your budget and stick to it. It is not the gift as much as the thought behind it.
• Look at your schedule both vertically and horizontally and organize it. Do not over-commit yourself. Be sure to leave some time for rest and relaxation. Set priorities...If you can't make all of the parties, select the most important ones and focus on attending them.
• Map out your shopping trips before you leave. Have a good idea what you are looking for and where you need to go to find it...Be sure to build in times to rest. When I go shopping, I plan to stop for a brief refreshment at which time I review my list to determine how things are going and gauge what I still need to do.
• Plan to finish your day with a warm bath or hot shower and rest to help you unwind and avoid any aches and pains from being on your feet too long, or from lifting and lugging packages heavier than you should. Keep your heating pad handy in case you need it and don't be afraid to use it.
• If you are prone to headaches, be sure to eat on schedule and avoid those foods that are migraine triggers. Have a plan in case one hits. It is ok to cut your trips short and go home to rest.
• Delegate some of the chores to lighten your load. If someone you know enjoys wrapping presents, ask them to assist you.
• Encourage potluck dinners with family and friends rather than trying to plan coordinate and prepare full meals and entertainment for groups of people.

These are just some ideas to help you as you go through the holidays. Hoping you have a happy and healthy holiday season.

Indie

Related Topics: Success Over Stress (Video), Chronic Illness and the Holidays

Pain: Calming Environments

For people in pain, sleep can be difficult. They often find themself hurting and unable to relax. I have even found myself being afraid to sleep for fear I would wake up in pain. For people in pain, the bedroom becomes a place of retreat. However, the ability to relax is often compromised.

I have found the most calming environments are those that demonstrate a sense of order. Think about the senses for a moment if you will. Everything that touches the senses is a stimulus that causes a body reaction at some level. Have you ever been on a simulation ride and have someone tell you if you feel the ride is getting too much to handle, just close your eyes...? There is truth to that. Your body responds to the simulation as if you were really experiencing the activity. Closing the eyes reduces the stimulation and the body is able to calm down. Do you ever feel a sense of calm and relaxation when you check into a hotel? Notice how hotel rooms are furnished. Neat, orderly, no clutter or extra furniture, muted colors, etc. Chances are this has something to do with it.

Everything we see stimulates the brain as the body seeks to register the input from the visual experience. If you have a room that is full of clutter, then your body will be stimulated when you look at it. If you have difficulty sleeping, take stock of your bedroom. Is it cluttered? Do you have a lot of items in your room causing difficulty with organization and space? If so, you may be robbing yourself of calm and restful sleep. If you feel your bedroom needs some changes, consider the following:

• Consider storing clutter out of sight. Bins can be stacked and stored in closets or under beds.


• Do not over crowd your room with furniture. If it is not needed, remove it.


• When choosing bedding, select colors and patterns that you find relaxing and peaceful. Blues and greens and other earth tones are my favorites. Using bright colors and patterns are fine. Just don't overdo!!


• You might also consider a little aroma therapy as well. Choosing calming aromas will also help you relax and unwind.


• Pay attention to lighting. Soft reflective light is more restful than fluorescent lighting. Strategically placed lighting can make a room very cozy and inviting.

Once you have made some changes to your room, evaluate how you feel when you enter and spend time in it. Hopefully you will begin to experience more restful sleep. Hopefully your room will be a more relaxing retreat. And hopefully you will find more comfort and relief from your pain.

Indie

Related Topics: Pain Management: Alternative Treatments, Meditation

Headaches and the Mind/Body Connection

Many years ago I started experiencing migraines and cluster headaches. These headaches led me to the hospital ER more times than I wish to remember. Most often I would get a shot of Demerol and Phenergan and I would go home and sleep it off. This usually ended the episode.

One time during a cluster, the headaches wouldn’t go away and the neurologist decided to admit me to the hospital in order to treat me more aggressively. While there, I was injected with ergotamines and pain medications. After a couple days, the meds were regulated and my headaches seemed under control so the doctor came in and told me I was ready for discharge.Within an hour from that conversation, I began to experience the aura of a pending migraine. I immediately rang for the doctor hoping she was still on the unit. I became very anxious and upset at the thought of leaving with the same problem I had been admitted for. I felt so defeated.

Shortly after I rang, the doctor came into my room and sat on the side of my bed. She reviewed my course of treatment and my response to the meds. And she then started asking me about my home environment. We talked about family and we talked about relationships. After discussing some painful issues with her, she told me she felt the onset of my headache was directly related to the news of my discharge home. Up to this point I had never seen a link between my home and emotional environment and the headaches I had. But I soon realized it was key to my situation and if I was going to begin feeling better physically I would have to look at the problems and address them.

During the next few weeks, I did a lot of soul searching. And I learned a great deal about myself. One thing I realized was that when a person hears something long enough, they can begin to believe it is true. The first step in my healing was to realize it was not. I realized I didn't deserve to be treated as I had been. It was difficult at first but I began asserting myself. Slowly I began to see myself as a loveable person. Soon I began feeling less like a victim.

I realized I needed to take control of these headaches and not let the headaches control me. And I could see that in order to do this, I would need to make decisions about my life. I began to set boundaries and limits on what I would and would not tolerate in my life. If a person displayed verbal abuse I would stand up and stop the conversation and state that I would not be a part of it. If someone wanted to talk to me they would have to treat me with respect.

During the next few months, my family was quite surprised by the changes that had come over me. And to my amazement I had realized just how much the way I felt emotionally effected the way I felt physically. I began to study earnestly about all types of topics related to headaches, pain, and stress. I started attending conferences and my interest continued to grow...I realized the intensity of pain was not a reliable indicator of the seriousness of a condition. And I thanked God! I began to feel less afraid of my pain. The more I learned about headaches and pain, the less I feared about them. I believe this decrease in anxiety led to a decrease in headaches and pain. Becoming less emotional about and more objective during episodes enabled me to maintain better overall control.

Having a healthy attitude helps me a great deal when I am suffering from painful conditions. Now I am able to accept the fact I will probably have headaches from time to time for the rest of my life. I know that when they occur, I can use a variety of skills and techniques I have learned to ease my pain and I also have medications I can take. I may or may not need to lay down or rest with an episode and that is ok. If I have to, I will take necessary steps in order to do so. I realize and accept the fact my pain may not be resolved 100% during some episodes and that is o.k. I know it will eventually subside. My goal is to be functional if not pain free. That-I can live with! Indie

Related Topics: What is a Migraine? Managing Stress

Caring for Patients in Pain Series

Watch my blog for a series of educational posts designed to assist healthcare providers working with patients in pain as well as assist people in pain on their own personal journey. Periodically I will pick a topic and write a short post about it. I might or might not share a personal experience but I will certainly try to include at least one scenario-- when appropriate-- that highlights the topic in some way to assist in the practical application of the information. I am not going to make these posts into research wonders but rather touch on humanistic experiences when I can and couple them with knowledge and insights I have learned throughout my professional practice and personal experiences over the years. It is my hope practitioner folks reading them will consider them important enough to ponder in their own practice and self-reflection and it is my hope that folks who can identify with some of the topics/issues will feel free to share their views and experiences on either the Migraine or Pain Management Message Boards here on WebMD.

-- Indie

Related Topics: Chronic Pain, Alternative Pain Therapies