It Takes Two

What's it like being home on disability? Some might think it is fun - like being on a paid vacation. You get to sleep late. There are no schedules to keep. No demands placed on your time. Well for most folks it isn't like that. There is usually a good reason for being on disability - an injury or recent surgery. Perhaps a person is recovering from a serious illness or hospitalization. Not all limitations are visible and this is where much criticism derives from. It seems if a person can't see a limitation or a disability, it doesn't exist. It is such a shame that people are so quick to judge others.

Even when you don't feel well, it isn't fun to be idle for too long. After a while, most people would rather be anywhere but there. Many feel horrible and can't relax. Their minds won't relax because they have so many things they need to be doing and they think about those things. Perhaps they are not people who are comfortable being waited on, so knowing that someone works hard all day and then comes home and makes dinner for them and then cleans the house around them doesn't necessarily make them feel all that much better. Quite often they want to be a helpmate in the home but their limitations don't help any. It seems lopsided. One does so much more than the other. How can the scale be leveled a little so everyone can feel good about themself?

Does any of this sound familiar? Do you and your mate talk about these things or do you keep your feelings inside? It is important for the two of you to discuss these things rather than not. If your condition is only temporary, then try to be grateful and appreciative of the attention and help. You may be doing your mate a favor by letting him/her feel helpful and useful in the situation. One of the most common frustrations is a sense of helplessness when we see loved ones hurting and we can't do anything to help them. Feeling useful helps us cope during the difficult time. If you have a more permanent situation, it might be beneficial to talk with your loved ones and create a plan on how you can all work together to help support each other.

Don't be afraid to consider a counselor to help sort out and create a plan when the going gets rough or the situation seems overwhelming and complicated. Sometimes a fresh set of eyes and ears on a situation is all that is needed to bring in some new ideas and alternatives to consider. It is important to understand that keeping busy is important so allow loved ones to continue to work and do what they are capable of doing.

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• WebMD Video: Caregiving Stress
• Caregiver Tips

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The Value of Having Pets

During the past couple of weeks since I came home from the hospital, I have been through a lot with the onset of cluster headaches arriving unannounced at various times during the day and night. They come on with little to no warning and the pain can be excruciating.

Needless to say, I have remained close to home during this time. During these past few days I have felt like the walls have been closing in and I want more than anything to get out and get back to the business of living. Even today - having had two headaches - doesn't stop my desire to get out and try my hand at living a life amongst the living. During those times when the goal of the day is to get from bed to chair, however, I am thankful for the enjoyment of my pets.

There is a lot to be said for the love of pets. I have two cats and the love of my husband's life, a dog named Duchess - a Rottie/Goldie mix. She seems to sense when I don't feel well and she sticks close by. Today, she has followed me from room to room and lays by my side quietly. Even though her eyes are shut if I whisper her name, she opens them and makes known she is aware. If I speak loud enough she lets me know she is more than happy to play if I want her to. And I know she is hoping that I do.

Jazz E and Gracie are my two cats and they are also very affectionate. Gracie is the one who just loves to be loved. She is gray with white socks and she can be a nuisance with her determination to be snuggled and cuddled. Jazz E is all black. He has a scaredy-cat personality. He comes close but only for a moment and then he stays at a distance. I love to watch the animals play. They are so cute. And they show such unconditional love.

Pets have been known to help people feel better. Health care facilities have been incorporating pet therapy for quite some time with great success. I worked in a skilled care facility for many years. We had a resident cat. It had its own bed and eating dishes and it stayed right at the facility all the time. Staff let it in and out as needed during the day. It sat on the lap of various residents and got lots of attention from others. It would go from room to room sleeping on resident beds and we would find cat toys in the strangest places! I encourage people who can have pets to consider having one. For their health, of course!

<Related Topics:

• WebMD Video: See Spot, Feel Happy
• WebMD Video: Physical Therapy and Dogs

Technorati Tags: pets, pet therapy, pain management, headache, health and wellness

Back to Work After Disability

Recently I was hospitalized with Status Migrainous with post-discharge complications of steroid rebound and other medication reactions. I had been placed on temporary disability. For people with active jobs and a busy life, being off on medical leave is no picnic.

It is not restful sitting home "resting." It seems like much time and energy is spent thinking about everything that is left at the office still in need of completion. Are we dedicated and responsible workers? Are we workaholics? I thought I was in the first group but the reactions of the majority seem to place me in the latter. I am fretting about getting back to attend to responsibilities and everyone else is saying don't rush back.

No one seems to understand the implications of what will happen if the steps A,B, and C don't happen before the deadline of 7/21 before the product launch in 2 weeks - or maybe they do, and just don't feel the vested interest I do in seeing the project succeed. I take pride in my work...I love what I do...I am blessed with the skills I have and the achievements and accomplishments I have made.

So how do I put all of that aside and allow myself to really rest during this time of rehabilitation? Look at the situation at hand. When you get back you will have issues to address. Some will be more urgent than others. Organize those items so when you get into the office you can be as efficient as possible. Below is an outline of a plan I created for when I get back to my office. It is designed so I don't have to keep thinking about the load of work I have to do when I do get back into the office. Hopefully I will stop thinking so much about it and use the energy on resting and healing.

1. Voice Mail: Allow 1/2 - 3/4 hour for just answering voice mail messages. Make note of all messages but do not respond to any of them.


2. Email: Allow 1/2 - 3/4 hour for viewing email messages. Print out all messages that require a response and note briefly on the email itself what must be done to resolve the issue - pull chart, call Pete, schedule meeting, order books, etc.. If it takes but a minute to complete a simple task, you may rather do it then and there and resolve the issue this way. If you are like me, I block 1 to 1-1/2 hours on my calendar and use my time this way instead - saving the printing and noting for the more complex items that take more time to resolve.


3. Meetings: If you will be returning on a day when regularly scheduled meetings will be occurring, you may wish to review pertinent email threads and voice mails during the review period. Just do so by sorting your Outlook emails by subject matter and grouping threads. This is great for reviewing entire conversation threads and getting the gist of matters quickly. Pull aside key people and get filled in on the key elements of the project as necessary. If neither of these options are possible then attend the meetings. Your colleagues will probably already be aware of your absence anyway and will understand.


4. Projects - Prioritize: What were the major projects you were involved in when you suddenly fell ill or injured? What unexpected accommodations were made due to the events of your condition, i.e.: classes canceled, someone else taught them, etc.? What needs to be done now? Classes rescheduled? Documentation of classes noted, recorded, credit awarded, data entered?


5. Reorganize/Review: Once you have touched on all of the areas of your position and responsibilities, review them to be sure you are back on top of everything and you are reorganized and comfortable with your stand. This may/will take a little time but will be the point when you feel the most comfortable when you are back on the job and feeling better.

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• WebMD Video: Summer Headache Triggers
• Managing Job Stress

Technorati Tags: migraine, disability, organization, health and wellness