Are You Ready for Winter?

Photo Credit: dobienet

Fall is definitely here and the first hints of winter are now apparent. I watched a flock of geese heading south honking in the V formation and I know that snow and cold weather are not far behind. I dread the cold. I don't tolerate it well. I have arthritis and painful conditions that seem to be aggravated with cold or dampness. But since I am not moving anywhere, I need to accept it and prepare for it.

This past week I had a vehicle serviced and prepared for winter and this week I will have the other one done. I have begun digging out the warm hats, gloves, and scarves and winter coats and boots and made sure they are washed clean and ready for wear. I turned the furnace on low and set to 68 degrees and I pulled out my warm clothes. Blankets were changed on the beds and comforters added. Air conditioners were taken out of the windows and stored until warmer weather returns. I also checked to be sure all my heating pads work and I have some bubble bath and Epsom salts up in the bathroom. This is for those times when my muscles really hurt. I can relax in a hot tub with some epsom salts or bubble bath and enjoy relaxing after a long hard day at the office. I also placed some aroma therapy candles around as well.

This year I am striving to keep stress and pressure off me during the holidays. These steps will help me prepare for the winter and be more ready to meet it head-on and deal with it in a comfortable way.

Are there any things you have done to prepare for the winter that I didn't mention? If so, how about adding them here. Let's see how many things we can come up with!

Related Topics:

• Preparing Your Family for Winter Weather
• 8 Winter Steps for Healthy Living

Technorati Tags: winter, stress management, pain management, health and wellness

My Special Holiday Gift

This past week I had the opportunity to celebrate a very special Thanksgiving. I have to say it was the best one I have shared in a very long time. As I look back on it, I think about all of the things that made it special - made it stand out above the rest.

My special Thanksgiving plans began several weeks ago. During the past few months, my mom lost several very dear friends. In fact, two of them died 2 days apart. And with my mom's failing health, I couldn't let her be alone on Thanksgiving. No one is promised a tomorrow and in my heart, I wanted her with me. My husband was very understanding and supportive of my decisions and plans. And he did everything he could do to help me accomplish my heart's desire. He is a precious man - truly a blessing.

With the Christmas holiday not far away from Thanksgiving, I thought it might be nice to celebrate them together so I began thinking about what I might do to make a nice holiday for her. I knew that whatever I would do, it would be received in phases over a couple days time.

I knew my mom was missing my little brother. In fact, so was I, so I decided to make a visit to see him a part of her holiday gift. Tuesday after work I threw some clothes together and grabbed some things I needed to take with me and began my mom's special holiday gift. I drove over 3 hours to my mom's - much longer a ride than usual due to the traffic and driving conditions. I stayed until early morning when we left for my brother's house.

My little brother lives about 4 hours north of me in a quaint little home nestled in the pines east of Troy, NY. Whenever I visit him, I come away feeling rested and refreshed because I am able to relax and enjoy his cozy place. And I always take a few moments when I arrive to just smell the pines and enjoy the setting. It is not uncommon for me to just relax on his plush carpet watching a special movie and sneak a catnap. This trip was no different and the short nap I took felt like I had slept the whole night!

In the past, there were little family traditions we shared when we could all get together. One of them was watching a special holiday movie. We enjoy watching The Homecoming and this year we watched Christy and White Christmas and it seemed like they opened the holiday season for us. We exchanged small meaningful gifts with each other and enjoyed a wonderful lunch together. It was not a big feast but it was one of the most special meals I ever had and what made it special was the fact I was with family and we were sharing this meal together - just the three of us. I have to say, my brother's new little kitty made sure she was close by to investigate what we were doing. She is a sweet little playful ball of soft fur and when she got used to us, she let us cuddle her. That was also very comforting and relaxing. We had fun - visited for a while, took some pictures. Then came the next phase of my mom's special gift.

My little brother and I planned to surprise mom and take her to visit two of her sisters that she hadn't seen in years. So we got into our vehicles and headed the 1/2 hour further north to my Aunt KP's home. It was a wonderful visit even though we didn't have a lot of time. My aunt is in her mid '80s but remains active in spite of her failed sight. Her sense of humor keeps her young at heart and her humor makes me laugh as it brings joy to my heart. When I was young, I lived about 2 hours north of my Aunt's home and at that time, she lived across from me. I have many cherished memories of her and am thankful to have her in my life. Mom was surprised and I enjoyed watching her excitement. At Aunt K's we had a chance to catch up on how our relatives were doing. We were shocked at how fast many had grown. We were sorry that my Aunt RN was unable to join us as we had hoped. She had undergone a medical treatment that made her uncomfortable and she felt the need to just stay home and rest.

Aunt R is another very special aunt in my life and I miss her dearly. As kids, my sister and I used to see her and her family on weekends when Uncle JN drove north to visit Aunt K and Uncle GP. My cousin PA would run across the road to our house to hang out and we hated to see her leave on Sundays. In the winter we would all ride snowmobiles through the woods and enjoy hot dogs and hot chocolate over an open fire on one of the frozen ponds in the Adirondacks.

Like Aunt K, Aunt R also has a sense of humor and I have many fond memories of them. In fact, many of my mom's relatives are fun-loving people and one can always expect to have a lively time when they would all get together. Sadly Uncle GP and Uncle JN (aka Wilbur - his nickname) and several other relatives have passed on, but I will always hold fond memories in my heart for each and every one of them. And I do plan to make another trip up that way as soon as I can so I can visit some of the rest of my relatives I was unable to see during this brief trip.

We visited with Aunt K for a short while and I was able to take some pictures of the two sisters enjoying each other's company. I can tell they were happy because when they are, they start giggling like kids and singing little songs they remember - all the while cracking jokes and picking on each other. Just watching them relax and be themselves was a treasure to see. I was thankful to have been able to give this gift to my mom.

Our visit with Aunt K was short and I hated to leave so soon, but I had limited time and the next part of my mom's holiday gift was about to begin. After gassing up my Explorer that late Wednesday afternoon, we said goodbye to my little brother. That was hard because we are close and talk to each other often on the phone. But I still miss seeing him and spending time with him. I was very thankful for the chance I did have to see him and share the holiday.

The time had come for the next phase of mom's holiday gift to begin. She was coming back to my house in NJ for Thanksgiving. Mom and I left the Albany area and started the 4 hour trip to NJ. Yes, I had done a lot of driving but this - in fact the entire trip - became as much a gift to myself as it was intended for my mom. And again I am thankful.

We got to my home late Wednesday evening and after a brief visit with my husband and a chance to meet and play a little with our dog Duchess and our two cats Jazz E and Gracie, I assisted mom slowly up our stairs and helped her settle in for the night. I watched her follow her nightly routine of preparing her meds for the next day and organizing the area around her so she could find things as they were needed. I saw a precious lady - my mom - striving to maintain independence in spite of the painful and frustrating limitations she has that effect her breathing and mobility. She has periods of confusion and memory loss that come partly from her medications and also from the natural process of aging. As I settled her into bed and bent to kiss and hug her good night, I saw a vulnerable yet determined lady. She has endured and overcome tremendous trials over the years that have left behind a few scars along with some life lessons.

I remembered the time when we didn't get along and I left home. During that time I had emotional ambivalence about her place in my life. But my formal education along with my own lessons learned in life enabled me to better understand and clearly see what was in front of me during that time. Thanks to my Lord, my faith, and the passage of time along with my own maturity, I was able to overcome the inner battles and finally come to peace with all of that. And I can honestly say I felt blessed and thankful now to have her with me in my home.

It didn't take long for me to fall asleep that night. All of the driving and the excitement of the day caught up with me in a single moment. I layed down with my CPAP machine on and fell right to sleep. I slept well and woke with less pain and stiffness than I had expected. For that I was thankful.

I was also excited because this was the next phase in my mom's holiday gift - Thanksgiving Day. And for the first time as far as I can remember, and thanks to my wonderful husband, I was able to take it easy and relax that morning since he chose to prepare the entire holiday meal for all of us. It seemed strange to be relaxing in bed at my leasure while he worked steadily in the kitchen. I offered my assistance several times but he always encouraged me to just relax and rest. My husband is truly a blessing to me. His kindness and compassion toward me is a reflection of his love for the Lord. I still marvel at the way He brought us both together and we know God doesn't make mistakes. My daughter, her husband and his sister - a very dear young girl who I enjoy and love as one of my own - joined us for the holiday and it was wonderful to have everyone together.

We all visited and waited for the last preparations to be made while the traditional sounds of sports played on the TV quietly in the background. My wonderful husband had everything under control in the kitchen and boy did he create a festive meal! He prepared both turkey and ham along with many of the traditional dishes and the flavors blended beautifully. The turkey was moist and tasty and I have to say that even though the spices he used were different than the ones I use, the flavor was incredibly delicious. And for someone who doesn't usually eat much ham, I enjoyed a nice portion of the specially seasoned and glazed meat along with everyone else.

At the last minute, I did get to create my traditional cranberry/celery/walnut salad and I let mom help me. That salad has special meaning to my daughter and I as it was first made by her grandmother (dad's mom) who was a very dear friend of mine for roughly 25 years. I never considered her my mom-in-law because that often holds a negative image/meaning. She was a wonderful lady and truly my friend and I will always hold a special place in my heart.

During the day, calls were made and calls were received by all of us from family and friends we hold dear. And although they could not be with us, we knew we were in their thoughts and hearts and they in ours. Yes...I am truly blessed and thankful.

After the meal and relaxed conversation, my daughter, my mom, and I decided to take a ride and show mom some of the sights in the local area. We returned to my house and just relaxed and enjoyed being together - the three of us girls - while my husband went to share a little time with his folks in NY. We finished the kitchen cleanup and took care of the leftovers, nibbling and chatting as we went along. Then we watched a movie together while my mom enjoyed working on a little project I had saved for her. She loves being helpful when she visits and I appreciate her help. And I now have a nice organized draw of paired socks thanks to her!

My holiday gift to my mom was coming to an end as we got up early Friday morning so I could take her home. She had an important medical appointment to keep, otherwise I would have had her stay for the entire weekend. We drove back to her home and I helped her with a few things around the apartment and I took her to her appointment. While waiting for her in the waiting room I could hear her excitement sharing the events of the past three days with the office staff and I was thankful to have been able to give my holiday gift to her. After the appointment we took care of a couple quick errands and I made one more stop before taking her home.

My mom enjoys eating at KFC but it is hard for her to get to one because she has to rely on buses and such to get around. It is often too painful to walk any distance, so it is rare that she gets to go. I remembered that I had promised her we would eat at one the next time I went up to see her and I wanted to keep that promise. I also knew my mom was tired from all the excitement of the pass couple days and I wanted to make sure she had a warm meal before I left her to drive back to NJ. That way she could just relax and take it easy when she did get home. We enjoyed a quick meal together talking and laughing about all that had occurred during the passed couple days. Mom was happy but also tired and I knew she needed to get back home and rest. Once I got her safely there I headed back to mine. Driving home alone gave me a chance to think about a lot of things. I was so thankful the weather remained dry and nice so I didn't have to worry about wintry driving issues.

I thought a lot about family - especially those who were not with us. It would have been nice to see my sister and her family but I knew they always had big plans on Thanksgiving and she wouldn't have been able to make it. I miss her greatly but was thankful to say hello and chat briefly during Thanksgiving day. My older brother in VA has a large family and he had his plans already made but while mom was at my house, she decided to accept his invitation to visit for Christmas. I was thrilled she had chosen to go. It would give her time with her oldest son - her first born- and I knew that it meant a lot to both of them to be able to spend a little time together. It gives her something to look forward to and I could hear the gladness in my brother's voice when we talked about her decision to go. He was gearing up to prepare for her arrival as if she was coming in a couple days rather than a couple weeks. I could hear the excitement in his voice and I was happy for the both of them. My sister-in-law and best friend died several years ago from complications of a severe car accident. She and my brother have 12 children of their own. Since her death, my brother has been raising at least five of the youngest ones - home-schooling them and all. I admire his strength but also know it is extremely hard on him in every way. I thought about my one nephew I hadn't seen in a long time and I said a prayer and hope he is doing ok. Yes, Mom's decision to accept his invitation will be good for both of them.

While I continued to drive, my thoughts turned to my work. I am thankful to my boss who allowed me to take the time off from work to do all of this. It has been busy at my job lately but I had PTO days in my bank and she OK'd my taking the time off, even with short notice, because she knew how much it meant to me to be able to give this gift to my mom. I am fortunate to have a boss who cares about her team and supports them in many ways so they can come to work and feel good about it in spite of the many challenges and frustrations they face that are common in many areas of health care. Our department is close and supportive of each other. We are a professional team that has been enabled to produce quality outcomes - both on demand as well as through formally organized orientations and educational programs. Even after 7 years I can still say "I love my job"...and I do...and I am thankful for all that I have been able to achieve over the years working there. And I thought about all of the people that have come into my life at one time or another. And I am thankful for the positive things they brought into my life and the life lessons I was able to learn from them.

When I finally reached home, my odometer said I had traveled close to 900 miles over the past couple days and I was beginning to feel it myself. But as much as it was, I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. Over the years my mom put up with a lot from me too but she never stopped loving me through it all...I was glad to have the chance and the support of my loving husband so that I - no - we could give this special holiday gift to her. She is worth every bit of it and much more.

Now many of you who may have read this story probably had very different experiences than mine. But the one thing we all shared and still share is the opportunity to look at what we have and be thankful for what we've got. It is not about buying lavish gifts or providing expensive entertainment in order to share love and thankfulness with people. Some of the most precious gifts are the ones that come in the form of a simple hug or kiss. It might be a "thank you" or an "I love you" or it may even be "I forgive you" that you may have been planning/wanting to share but just never took the time. It may be a matter of making the time to do it. No one is promised tomorrow, so we need to make the most of each day we are given.

I suffer chronic pain and am dealing with it one day at a time like so many other folks are. But my desire to give this gift to my mom was strong enough that I was determined not to let my own problems get in the way of my doing this. I took care of myself and thought wisely about the activities I did. I rested when I had the chance. I took time to get out of my truck and stretch during the trips. I traveled with my heating pad and my meds but you know I didn't need to use either one! And when I got to my brother's home, it was so relaxing that just being there was therapeutic in itself. This weekend has been very quiet for me - by choice. It is my chance to give my mind and body an opportunity to rest. And knowing I could bring happiness and contentment to my mom for the holidays and realizing all the things I am blessed with and thankful for- all bring comfort to me.

So if you may be struggling financially and you don't know what to do for the holidays, consider ways you may bring joy to the folks you love without spending a lot. Write a letter, place a call, stop by and visit them. Help someone in need to finish a project. Watch someone's children so they can have a break to do something for themself. Help someone by doing errands for them or assist them with housework if they suffer pain and limitations. I remember my daughter giving me an envelope years ago with a little handmade card. In it she wrote that she was donating a certain number of hours to her mom to help with house cleaning; not only was I touched, I made sure I received those hours!! I also remember a similar gesture right after my daughter was born, a friend of mine gave me a certificate for 4 hours of free babysitting so I could go do something that was for me. What a thoughtful gift. These gifts show how much you care. And gifts like these are often priceless!

Related Topics:

• Spirituality & Prayer: Path to Healing
• Emotional Survival Guide for the Holidays

Technorati Tags: Thanksgiving, holidays, family, gifts, faith