Diet Program Dilemmas

Let's just say you've been thinking about shedding your extra pounds. Then, one day you decide to finally take action. But, suddenly you're confronted with the dilemma of which way to turn. You do a little homework, whip through some magazines, watch TV commercials and call a few friends. Somehow you make your decision and then wonder if you did the right thing. Read what Detwaa sent me on my weight management board recently:

"I just signed up for a weight loss program where you have to follow a routine diet, drink and eat certain foods they offer, exercise, and check in several times per week to see progress. Is that something you'd advice, is it effective? The shakes are incredibly expensive and I'm supposedly required to have them in order to lose 60 pounds in 15 weeks. Did I make a big mistake? Was this something I could have done simply on my own? I have an option to buy the shakes one at a time as I go, or buy them all at once for a discounted price, and I just want to know if I can still lose weight if I don't drink them. This is a healthy low fat, hight protein, calorie restrictive diet."

I'll bet a few folks out there can relate to her angst. The good news is that there is a terrific book written by the Institute of Medicine called Weighing the Options: Criteria for Evaluating Weight Management Programs. The book is unbiased and written by academic experts who prioritize the consumer's health and welfare above any commercial interests. I'd highly recommend this to anyone considering a program. Meanwhile, here are a few helpful tips.

Beware programs that:

1. Promise you the moon. Watch out for programs that guarantee big weight reductions in a short period of time. Most people can safely remove up to 2 pounds per week on a healthy weight management program. Detwaa's program is promising to deliver double that number.


2. Cost you an arm and a leg. I'm not happy when I read "incredibly expensive shakes". Heck, you can buy cheap whey protein powder, add water or skim milk and perhaps fresh or frozen fruit and make your own for pennies. Commercial programs make their money by selling products (e.g. shakes, meals, supplements). Watch out for programs that require you to purchase these products.


3. Are run by people with questionable backgrounds. How long as the organization been around? Always ask many questions about who owns and runs a program. What certifications and qualifications in the field of weight management do these people have? What are the staff qualifications? What is included in your initial assessment? It should be comprehensive and ideally this group would be teaming with your own doctor to achieve optimal results. Did your doctor refer you to this program? What about success rates, and comments and references from other clients? Programs should be supervised by physicians and medical professionals who can answer questions related to each person's unique medical status, as that would change over time with appropriate weight reduction. Also be on red alert for programs offering pills, potions and injections for weight reduction. You absolutely must be fully informed about the professionals and staff involved as well as study thoroughly any materials related to these services and products. Programs operated by hospitals, medical centers, researchers and academics in the field (e.g. University of Colorado's "Colorado Weigh Program") can usually be counted on to deliver the most updated, credible and comprehensive programs.


4. Stress weight loss and not maintenance. The best programs have a strong emphasis on both phases, and provide an excellent maintenance element. Watch out for programs that spend 90 percent of their efforts on shedding weight, and offer only a cursory coverage of any long term maintenance.

The best program for weight reduction involves an interplay between my favorite three elements: Mind, Mouth and Muscle.

1. Mind: Research has clearly shown that when you have a strong mental health component, you'll achieve your best program success. That means there should be a qualified counselor for ongoing help and guidance in person, on the phone and/or through email communications. People need coaching and encouragement as well as answers to ongoing questions involving how to navigate life's stresses while also maintaining an optimal nutrition and exercise program. These experts help people learn behavior skills that will assure not just weight reduction, but maintenance for life.


2. Mouth: It's necessary to have qualified registered dietitians to supervise any program and to customize plans for people's unique needs. In the best of worlds, you're eating whole foods, an appropriate number of calories in balanced meals and snacks, as well as a minimum of commercial (and especially processed) products.


3. Muscle: All programs need to have a reasonable and appropriate physical activity component. It should be based upon established standards like those of the American College of Sports Medicine. Many offer a network of health club facilities as well as fitness professionals who will help guide you as you become more physically active.

So, for Detwaa and other men and women seeking weight management program advice, get serious and do a thorough job of studying your options. Your reward will be a safe and credible path towards sustainable weight reduction and a lifetime of optimal wellness.

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It's Not Just About the Scale

Lee Carson /
CC BY-SA 2.0

While filming the National Body Challenge series for Discovery Health TV, I recall the humorous antics that occurred while I was being taped weighing each of the show's participants. The scale I used was actually a body composition analyzer. In addition to body fat and muscle mass, it also showed overall weight. That was enough to strike fear in the hearts of the women, but not the men. Fully clothed, guys would merrily hop up on the equipment, chuckle at the numbers (which weren't pretty), and high five each other laughing about who had the highest body fat.

By contrast, the women would start to peel every bit of clothing they could get away with on a family rated show, tossing off sweat shirts, rings, watches, bracelets and even earrings, before tentatively stepping on the analyzer. Several pleaded with us for a moment to hit the women's room and empty that bladder. Once on the apparatus, some women would squeeze their eyes shut and not look, a few just looked straight ahead never peering down to check out the numbers, and one even stepped on backwards to avoid looking at anything. No doubt about it. This is Scale Scare at its worst. Many people have lived a life of fearing the number that could mean the difference between having a great day, or the moody blues.

I'd like to help you by setting the record straight. Scale weight alone tells you nothing about what's really happening in your body or your health. Instead, you need to pay attention to other factors: body composition, Body Mass Index (BMI) and waistline measurement.

Scale weight is made up of the interplay between your basic body composition elements (bone, muscle, fat). Since bone doesn't change dramatically in the short term, your weight is all about the relationship between muscle and fat. The more muscle you have and the less fat, the smaller your size.Body composition is about not just the quantity but quality of your body. Also, don't confuse body fat with Body Mass Index (BMI). Your BMI is your weight divided by your height in meter squared and is a number that is used by doctors to assess your risk for medical conditions like heart disease and diabetes.

Also, don't forget your waistline! It's not just how fat you are, it's where the fat is at. If you have too much fat inside your abdomen, you're at high risk for disease. Measure your girth crossing your belly button. Guys need to keep that number below 40 inches, and women below 35 inches.

So you have four main numbers to keep in mind:

• Scale Weight = Bone + Muscle + Fat


• Body Mass Index = Weight/Height m2


• Body Fat Percentage = Total Fat/Total Weight x 100


• Waist size = tape measurement across belly button

Here's a great recent posting from Saginovi30 on my weight management board that makes the point about body composition:

"I'm 5'8", wear a size 4 jeans, but I weigh 145 lbs. Usually women my height and pants size weigh 120 or less. I exercise regularly, but I don't understand why on the outside I look 120 pounds, but in reality, I weigh 25 pounds more. Is it true that muscle weighs more than fat?"

My answer to her is that I can have five women who are all the same age, height and weight, and I will show you five different dress sizes, from a 4 to a 12. That's because the total amount of fat you carry on your body will determine your dress size. Fat occupies more space than muscle. When you're trying to zip up those jeans, that ain't muscle getting in the way! In this woman's case, there is no doubt that she has a low body fat (below 20%) and a higher muscle mass. This is the result of genetics and exercise.

The bottom line is please toss your scale and go out and get a body fat analyzer. They range from simple, inexpensive models that will provide just your weight and body fat percentage, to fancier scales that will show you how many pounds of muscle and fat you carry. To achieve your optimal body composition, it is absolutely necessary to do regular physical activity. If you simply starve yourself all the time to achieve some mythical scale weight, your muscle mass will fall and you'll actually end up with a higher body fat percentage. Instead, your goal is to maximize your muscle and minimize your body fat.

Here are some guidelines for average (non elite athletes or naturally thin people) height men and women:

1. Average adult men need to keep their body fat percentage between 18-25% for their lifetime.


2. Average women should aim to keep their body fat percentage about 20-25% until age 45-50, when the range can increase to 28%, and after the age of 65, up to 32% due to the age related decline in muscle mass after the seventh decade of life.


3. Aim for a BMI below 25.


4. Waist measurements should be less than 40 inches for men, and less than 35 inches for women.

I hope by now you see that scale weight alone is just one element of a more complex picture of your body and overall health.

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Blast Your Back Fat

Back fat, muffin top, love handles, fat roll or spare tire - call it what you want, but it all adds up to that rather not-so-lovely vision of extra rolls of fat popping up all over your back, from your bra line to your belt line. It's the kind of fat that makes you rethink buying a skimpy top where the whole world can revel in your rolls. Have a look in the mirror at your back while wearing a form fitting blouse or sweater. There's that back fat poking out along your bra strap lines. And how about the rolls at your armpits, and the back fat shelf line above your waist? Not a pretty picture. And, as opposed to the menopot which is seen primarily after age 40 (see my blog post "Minimize Your Menopot"), back fat can occur at any age in men and women, but is worse after the age of 40. So where does it come from?

Back fat is an accumulation of excess fat that occurs due to one or any combination of factors including:

1. Being overweight or obese at any age (over eating and lack of physical activity);


2. Genetics in which even some slender people tend to distribute more of their fat to the back area;


3. Ethnicity plays a roll (pun intended) in which some groups tend to pack on back fat more than others;


4. Lack of weight training to bring down body fat and increase muscle tone;


5. Being over the age of 40 in which the decline of sex hormones affects distribution of fat throughout the body.

So what can you do about Back Fat? Plenty. Here are the "Rules of the Roll" to blast your back fat:

1. Make an Action Plan. Sit down and write out your goals. Take measurements throughout your body so you know where you're starting. Take pictures for the visual impact. Create realistic goals and expectations (dropping ½-2 pounds per week is the normal range). The heavier you are to start, the more excess fat you'll be removing. Write down your commitment to change. Journal your progress. Develop a support system to help guide you - like our wonderful weight management board on WebMD.


2. Be patient. Back fat is often one of those stubborn places that sometimes takes longer to reduce. Be persistent.


3. Get real. If you're over the age of 40, you may not be able to completely eliminate all of your back fat, but, like the menopot, your mission is to minimize back fat.


4. Hide it while you remove it. Let's not invite trouble in the form of super tight spandex tops. While you're shedding pounds and getting more fit, try to wear looser, comfortable clothes and toss the muffin topping skinny jeans. There are also great elasticized undergarments that help smooth out the rolls.


5. You must do both weight training and cardio to blast back fat. Don't think you can do this with cardio alone. You'll drop some weight, but you need to reshape and redistribute fat and only a combination of weight training and cardio will do that. Lift 2-3 x week and concentrate on building strength and perhaps boosting your muscle mass a bit. Check out my MUSCLE section in Body for Life for Women for easy ways to do this at home gym-free. Check out the WebMD fitness sites for creative ways to strengthen and tone.


6. Eat a back fat blasting diet. Physical activity is key, and equally so is what you put in your mouth. There is no one food or beverage that will magically remove Back Fat. Instead it's all about eating a variety of healthy foods every day. Quality: whole foods and lean proteins build the foundation for removing Back Fat. Quantity: watch your portion size. Almost everyone out there is eating too much relative to their age and gender. If you eat too much, you wear it. Read the USDA label and know what a serving size looks like. Frequency: eat every 3-4 hours from breakfast through dinner. Stop eating 2 hours before going to bed. Try to eat your dinner no later than 8-8:30 PM, and keep it lean (veggies, lean protein). Wake up in the morning feeling truly hungry. Check out my MOUTH section in Body for Life for Women for healthy, easy nutrition options. Scroll onto WebMD's wonderful nutrition sites for endless suggestions and recipes.


7. Get creative and cross train. No one specific exercise is the ultimate back fat cure. You need to draw from a variety of back strengthening and toning modalities. Mix and change it up every 6 weeks to keep it fresh and challenging. Have some fun and get adventuresome. Take up belly dancing, hip hop or twirl around a ballroom. Ballet is a terrific way to pinpoint back flexibility and strength. Don't forget martial arts, yoga and Pilates. Each uniquely singles out the back for a fat blaster workout.


8. Enjoy a win - win. The stronger the back the stronger the abs, and vice versa. You're working the core of the body and what you do for one, helps the other.

Back fat is a fact of life. Don't waste another moment fretting about it. Take action. And remember, here at WebMD, we've got your back!

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What do Veggies Have to Do with Weight Loss? Everything!

Natalie Maynor / CC BY 2.0

If you're looking to drop excess weight, look no further than the produce section of your grocer. Cruise around the fresh vegetable section and ask yourself, "Am I getting at least 3 servings of veggies every day?" If you answered "no", sadly you're not alone. According to a recent report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), only 27% of adults meet that basic requirement, and just 33% eat at least two servings of fruit every day. It also depends upon your age. Veggie consumption begins to increase after the age of 45 as people start to make the veggie/fruit-better health connection. Just 14% of American adults meet both requirements. What's up with Americans not eating veggies? Here are the top four reasons you're not gobbling the broccoli:

1. Not everyone in the family likes the same veggies making it mission impossible to cook for the crowd and please everyone;


2. Many fruits and veggies are expensive, compared to buying a bag of chips or a cookie;


3. Fresh veggies are a pain to prepare and cook, making microwave or fast food more attractive;


4. Restaurants and fast food eateries don't offer enough veggie options.

Alright, it's a challenge to strive for five (3 servings of veggies and 2 fruits) every day, but come on, we can be more assertive and creative. This is your health we're talking about. If you do, you'll be rewarded with a slimmer and more fit body, as well as enhanced health. Here are some facts.

A candy bar or cookie does not fill you up. Veggies do. This is especially true if you combine them with some form of protein. That's why reduced fat peanut butter and celery is a hit, or an apple with a serving of low fat cheese. Or just eat a heap of steamed or grilled veggies. That's a low fat and fiber rich guarantee to help you feel full and satisfied. That protein-fiber combo kills carb cravings as well. Whether it's breakfast, lunch, snacks or dinner, make sure you're adding veggies. That whole wheat pitta and turkey burger needs greens in the pitta pocket. Your omelet can be more filling with mushrooms, peppers and tomato. Start your dinner out with a big salad topped with a serving of shredded low fat cheese. Carrots and hummus make a terrific snack. How about a side of edamame to give you satisfying protein as well as fiber?

Don't forget that veggies and fruits are nature's medicine cabinet. You'll find vitamins, minerals and other nutrients that will boost immune function and help to prevent diseases such as cancer, heart disease and diabetes. For that matter, the Harvard Nurses' Study combined with the Health Professionals Study concluded that the higher your daily intake of fruits and vegetables, the lower your risk of developing heart disease. Those men and women who averaged 8 or more servings daily were 30 percent less likely to have a heart attack or stroke, compared to those folks who ate only 1.5 servings daily. Again, you're not only lower disease risk, but you're dropping weight as well.

What veggies seem to be the best options? Well, any fruit or veggie is great, but don't forget to include: deep green lettuce, spinach, Swiss chard, and mustard greens; cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, Brussels sprouts, bok choy, and kale; and citrus fruits such as oranges, lemons, limes, and grapefruit. You'll notice that white potatoes aren't included as they are considered starches. However, sweet potato is chock full of vitamin A and carotenes so go ahead and have a serving. Learn more by clicking onto www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov.

And, since veggies are so low in sodium, you'll drop that water weight you hold from eating so many salt-ridden processed foods. And, don't think that water weight is trivial. It can be up to five pounds in some individuals.

Make your lifestyle veggie and fruit centric. Here are some easy starters:

1. 

   David Penny / CC BY-SA 2.0
   Get out a beautiful fruit bowl and keep it filled each week. If it's front and center in the kitchen, you'll see it and use it.


2. Be constantly mindful of the need for them in your daily life. As you plan every meal and snack, always ask "where are the veggies and fruit?"


3. Strive for five colors of veggies and fruits in your daily diet. The deeper the color, the higher the level of antioxidants. Butter lettuce, squash, tomato, spinach and blueberries will get you there!


4. Find a farmer's market and experiment with local and a diverse selection of fruits and veggies.

Just remember that when you fill up on produce, you don't fill out. And the bonus is a leaner, healthier you.

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This Is Not A Diet

Whenever I read the postings on my weight management board, inevitably there's one from someone who has had an awakening and is desperately seeking help to reverse obesity. Here's one I received recently from offby40:

"I HAVE JUST SIGNED UP FOR THIS IN HOPES OF FINDING SUPPORT IN STARTING A NEW DIET. I HAVE TRIED MANY DIETS BUT I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH COMPLETING THE DIETS. NOW I AM GOING TO FOCUS ON CALORIE INTAKE AND EXERCISE. I AM 300 LBS AND ABOUT 5FT9 AND MY BMI IS REGISTERING AT SEVERELY OBESE. IS THERE ANYONE THAT CAN GIVE ME SOME POINTERS ON HOW TO GET STARTED, AND HOW TO KEEP IT GOING. I REALLY NEED HELP."

First, I congratulate her for taking herself on to begin the journey to achieve health and wellness. Second, I want to set the record straight for everyone. Throughout this posting, the theme seemed to be "diet"- starting one, failed diets. This is not a diet! Instead, I suggest you say "I'm going to clean up my lifestyle, get healthy and become more mentally and physically fit." This is about healthy living, and developing better lifestyle habits. When you do, you'll find it so much easier to shed excess body fat, feel energized and increase your sense of self esteem. You want to be fit to live your life to the fullest. That's why I called my most recent book Fit to Live.

I'll bet many of you are in the same place as the person who posted this on the board. OK, here's how you start out. First, remember that WebMD has so many wonderful resources throughout our lifestyle channel to help with calorie counting, fitness tips and recipe suggestions. Next, if you're going to change lifestyle habits, that means everything from mental and nutritional behaviors, to financial (is health a priority in your spending), physical activity and environmental (clutter, lack of organization, getting outdoors) components. No need to feel overwhelmed. In my book, I address the key pillars of lifestyle: Mind, Mouth, Muscle, Money and Macrocosm (the environment).

Always start with low hanging fruit- the simplest, smallest steps you can take to get the ball rolling. Before beginning any program, please consult your physician and medical team. Know what your baseline health status is and if there are any restrictions on your program. Here are tips and tools to get started:

MIND: Get a clear vision of why you want to change your lifestyle. It has to be powerful enough to get you through challenging times when you're tempted to revert to old habits. Being fit enough to play with your kids or grandkids? Healthy and attractive enough to get out there and find a partner in life or new friends? Becoming a runner, biker, hiker and hanging out with like-minded folks? Want to prevent or reverse medical conditions that plague you? Anything goes here. Sit down and really think this out. Come up with a mantra to remind you why you need to stay on track- "Sick and tired versus Fit and Fab." Say to yourself "I choose fit and fab." This is a conscious, mindful, deliberate choice. Finally, create realistic expectations. Progress, not perfection, will get you there.

MOUTH: Quality, quantity and frequency are key. Whole foods, lean proteins, and whole grains become the staple of your nutrition. Read the USDA labels on all foods to know what a true serving size is. When in doubt at restaurants, eat ½ of what's in front of you. Eat smaller meals and snacks every 3-4 hours beginning with breakfast and ending with dinner. Remember to include protein and fiber throughout the day, as that combo will curb carb cravings as well as increase your sense of fullness. Try to finish dinner no later than 8:00 - 8:30 PM and leave 2 hours without eating before you sleep.

MUSCLE: Get up and move more throughout the day. Buy a pedometer and crank out 10,000 steps (roughly 4 miles) per day walking. Work up to this goal. Be creative about finding ways to move more. At 300 pounds, you need to protect your knees so avoid any jumping, running, squats or lunges.

MONEY: Invest in a great pair of sneakers with plenty of cushion. Get socks that do the same. If you're a gym type, scope out a good deal on a membership where you can cross train on different cardio equipment (ellipticals are knee friendly and burn calories efficiently) and where you can learn to begin safe and guided weight training, stretching and core work.

MACROCOSM: Look around at your living and working spaces. Does it look like a bomb went off? How can you develop a new healthier lifestyle when you're buried under miles of piles? You need to clean up your environment and get organized. You can't take a walk if you can't find your sneakers and you can't pay for that jazzersize class if you can't locate your checkbook. Be patient, and schedule an hour here and there over time to get this done. Also, get outdoors more. Walking, biking, and hiking in nature are such wonderful, healing experiences. Do it alone, with a friend or in a group. Just do it.

Whip out a journal and keep track of your daily progress. You don't have to write the great American novel. Just monitor what counts- your baseline lifestyle elements, challenges and triumphs. You'll need your starting status: medical issues (what you want to change like blood pressure, blood sugar, any medical conditions); make a note of overall weight, body fat percentage, BMI and waist size (across the belly button); and, clothing size including jeans, pants, dress, belt.

Finally, don't forget to create a support system. This could be your mother, best friend, a mentor, or your dog. It includes keeping up with us on the WebMD weight management board for online support, as well as any helpful books or DVD's that resonate with you. You're assembling your "A" team to help you through thick and thin (ahem!).

OK, there's your foundation. Now hop to it and don't call this a diet!

Rules for Reinventing Your Body After Forty

On October 5th, I was the health and fitness keynoter for More magazine's annual "Reinvention Convention" in New York City. Five hundred women showed up to explore how to reinvent their lives once they crossed that 40 year old milestone. From new careers, financial challenges, to broken relationships and physical shape shifting, women came to the conference to get help understand it all and to regroup. In my packed session, women were anxious and enthusiastic, eagerly jotting down every tip, tool and technique I could offer. I decided to make this easy by creating a simple acronym- AFTER FORTY - to help women remember 10 important tips to help them optimize their bodies after the age of forty.

A: Adapt and adjust to life's constant daily stresses and challenges. Charles Darwin said that it isn't the smartest or strongest who survive, but those who can adapt. Throughout my book Body for Life for Women, I emphasize the fact that women need to practice how to become mentally flexible and rise up to the occasion when life throws you curve balls. After the age of forty, your mind and body begin to change significantly. Women often feel helpless, hopeless and defeated when weight packs on and you forget where you put your keys. Don't go there. Regroup and optimize your mental and physical well-being and you'll navigate these changing waters well.

F: Fight for the right to take care of yourself. No one is going to show up and schedule time in your day for self care. Only you can do that. Be assertive and get used to saying "I'm sorry, but I am busy at that time" when people try to erode the special moments you've set aside to have a healthy meal, to take that walk or to soak in the tub. This is one of the most important appointments you'll make for yourself each day.

T: Try lean protein to increase a sense of fullness and satiety, to rein in appetite, to curb carb cravings, and to maintain muscles. Women tend to under eat this wonderful macronutrient. Lean poultry, skim or low fat dairy, or vegetarian options will all help to quell hunger, rein in runaway appetites and keep your muscles in top form.

E: Exercise regularly, do it with intensity and make sure to cross train. Too many women are doing the same old cardio and weight lifting and are mystified as to why they stopped seeing real positive changes in their bodies. Come on ladies, get a fitness professional to mix it up in both your cardio and lifting for you so you can use more muscles and shake them out of complacency. As well, you need to ramp it up with intervals of intensity to keep your muscles challenged. Most importantly, this will help you release more fat fuel efficiently so that you can shed that extra fat. Try integrating some yoga, Pilates and even martial arts. How about dancing? Get outdoors and challenge yourself with fun and enjoyment. Just get up and move more throughout the day. This is what it takes to keep your over forty body alive and powerful.

R: Redefine normal. You aren't 20 or 30 anymore. Your body is undergoing significant changes, from fading eyesight to widening waistline. Stop looking backwards and obsessing about what doesn't work anymore. Instead, wake up every day and celebrate what does work. Hey, you're still here and you'll make do with whatever anatomical parts you can use to propel you through each day. This is integral to adapting and adjusting.

F: Fat, not weight, needs to be monitored. Buy a body fat scale and aim to get your body fat in the range of 20-28%, with a good average being 25%. If you're postmenopausal and over the age of 60, body fat ranges can increase to 32% due to aging related loss of muscle (especially true after the seventh decade of life).

O: Organize and plan your self care routines. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Sit down and make a plan. Whether it's stress management classes, gym memberships or shopping for healthier options, You need a strategy that meets your needs. If you want to drop body fat and increase muscle strength and mass, get together the team that you need to make this happen. WebMD's got your back with endless information about how to get the ball rolling. Check out my weight management board to share your experiences and ask questions with other like minded folks.

R: Rein in evening eating. After the age of forty, you don't need the same number of calories as you did when you were younger and more physically active and metabolically hotter. Most women don't realize that they are over eating throughout the day. But, the evening is a real problem. So many women kick back and consider this their time to reward and relax. Unfortunately, this includes plowing through sweets and grazing until bedtime. If you want to remove that excess belly fat, you need to eat smarter. Eat every 3-4 hours throughout the day through dinner, try to finish dinner (veggies and lean protein) no later than 8-8:30 PM, and try not to have anything to eat for 2 hours prior to retiring. You'll wake up hungry and feeling lighter, and ready to break that fast: breakfast.

T: Take time to just "be". Try to stop "doing" and take time for "being". Find a quiet place to read, close your eyes, listen to music, take a walk, say a prayer, or do some yoga stretches. Your mind needs these mental recesses. You have to practice mental aerobics to stop the deluge of thoughts - the incessant "to do's" that inhabit our feminine brains. Visualize a stop sign. Then, move into a peaceful place. This is a precious gift you give yourself.

Y: You deserve joy, happiness and fulfillment. Go ahead and feel entitled to be all of these things and more. Live, love and laugh every day. Embrace every waking moment with exuberance. Feel powerful. Choose to do this for yourself. Your reward is having the mind and body you deserve, to help you realize your dreams.

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What Women Really Want

Every now and then I'll pick up a book that I want to share with others. I've got one for you. It's called Women Want More by Michael Silverstein and Kate Sayre, two experts from the Boston Consulting Group. When I read this book, I said "Finally, someone's asking women today what's important in their lives, from beauty to health".

Before I plunged into the chapter on weight and fitness, I scoped out what's really important to women in general. Overall, a woman is "stressed, time-pressured and money-tight". I know, I'm wiping the shock off my face. Let's see what women in the survey said about what the most important values to them were:

1. Love - 77 percent


2. Health - 58 percent


3. Honesty - 51 percent


4. Emotional Well-being - 48 percent

Frankly, I try not to separate the mind (#4) from the body (#2), but suffice it to say, that love and connections with others happily trump all. Here are some other highlights from the book's findings. Guess what makes women extremely happy? Well, sex and food figured in there, but at the top of the list were pets, followed by sex, food, and shopping. Go figure. Fido's nonjudgmental, honest to a fault, and is a ball of never-ending love. Sex never had a chance.

Now for another reality blast about women and their bodies: 68 percent of you believe you're significantly or slightly higher than your ideal body weight. Twice as many women think they're overweight as actually are. Only 25 percent of these women think they're extremely or very attractive. 26 percent note they rarely ever or never feel beautiful. 44 percent rarely or never feel powerful, and 32 percent of you walk around feeling frustrated most of the time.

Speaking of frustration, let's turn to nutrition and fitness. Expectations speak loudly. Most women still aspire to be thin (there's that word again), but they also want to be healthy. Women are going to a much more holistic place and many are now opting out of crazy diets and looking for a more reasonable and healthy approach to achieving their best bodies. Women also want to be fit but not buff. They want to be able to keep up with the kids but not compete in the next Miss Olympia. For that matter, women specifically noted that they wanted to become fit without bodybuilding. The survey made it very clear that to most women, trying to find time to keep up their fitness often feels like mission impossible. It gets wedged into tightly packed days and many women live in a state of perpetual frustration trying to get in that walk or yoga class.

When the subject of nutrition came up, women were loud and clear. Preparing healthy whole foods has to become easier and more convenient. Companies with healthier meal replacement products are becoming more popular. Along with the fitness and nutritional components, women crave a network of support. Men can be terrific supporters. But, women also want to commiserate with other women just like them. Many women love to bond with kindred spirits for the big win win - supporting one another to achieve and maintain success in health and fitness. I call it assembling your own estrogen squad.

And here's a terrific end note. Despite being time starved, anxious, frustrated and up to their ovaries in care giving everyone who comes within 100 feet of them, women are optimistic. The majority of the women surveyed truly believe that life will be better in five years. Hooray for giving our attitudes a lot of altitude to be able to adapt and adjust to life's challenges. Women are beautiful, powerful and are now becoming more assertive about taking care of themselves. We're gradually getting there...with a little help from Fido and the squad.

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