Everyday Fitness

I have seen very little written about how a woman transitions from the hide-it clothes she’s inhabited for years, to a wardrobe that accentuates and flatters a fitter body. As a physician who works with wonderful people like you who want to get in shape, I’ve watched women struggle with how to dress not just their bodies, but their new body image. Right up front, I need to tell you that this issue involves a powerful mental and physical transformation, something that I have addressed throughout Body for Life for Women.

Women need support and guidance as they strive to make the connection between shedding physical weight and consequent impact on their mental attitude about their bodies. Changing your body is not just about numbers on a scale. When you shed body pounds, you’re also dropping mental weight. There’s a lot going on here. Dressing your body opens the (closet) door to that mind-body transformation. So, let’s start with the closet.

Every woman knows what a nightmare it can be getting dressed when the major goal is to hide your overweight body. You learn to never draw attention to yourself with bright colors. You stick to black, brown and navy. White pants are absolutely verboten and forget shorts. Next up, tight-fitting clothes are a no-no and “belt” is a four-letter word. Once, when I was interviewing a new patient, I asked her what her current dress size was. After pausing for a moment, she smiled and simply said “elastic.” We had a good laugh but it taught me how scary elastic is. The rule in my office is that elastic waistbands are forbidden, as they foster a mindlessness about your body. You can gain 10 or 20 pounds and still fit into elastic-waist pants. Clothing that’s more form fitting and at least has a waist band helps you stay conscious of changes in your body so that you can make the connection between your actions (e.g. eating, exercise) and effects on your body (e.g. body fat gain or removal).

For a woman who is removing at least 20 pounds of excess body fat, there are two key times in her journey when she needs to address the wardrobe issue. The first is what I call the “transition phase,” the time when she is somewhere between her original weight and her goal weight. For example, already having removed half of your excess fat is a tough place to be. The old clothes hang on you and you’re not ready to buy any new clothes, as they’re still too tight. Once you’ve dropped a size, I highly recommend that you go through your closet and remove those larger clothes that no longer fit. Start to organize your closet by size, and as you reach each milestone, neatly pack up the larger clothes and give them away.

For that matter, make it a real ritual. It’s really a commitment ceremony in which you’re committing to continue this lifelong journey and you’re adamantly stating that you’re not going back to your old self-destructive habits. One of my patients called up a few of her best friends and they all shared a glass of celebratory wine and made cleaning out her closet a real party and a memorable event. So, what do you wear during this transition period? A cost effective way to address this is to take your moderately loose clothes and have a seamstress alter them. That can be a real cost saver. If that is not possible, then buy clothes on sale and in a size that is snug but not too tight. This is an incentive to keep up the work and finally fit into this garment. Use lots of belts to keep skirts and pants up while you’re shedding the pounds.

The second time on your weight management journey when you’ll need to address the “what do I wear” issue is what I call the “completion phase.” This is when you’ve achieved your goal or you’re pretty close to it. Here are some tips that will help you navigate this weight removal milestone:

1. Cleanse Your Closet. Go through your closet and toss anything that is no longer your new size. If you’re now a size 12 and you were an 18, keep the 12′s and give the rest away. This cleansing is a real statement. There’s no going back. You’re here to stay.

2. Out of Fashion Means Out of Closet. Most people who have been wearing hide-it clothes for a long time are out of touch with current fashion. When you look at your current wardrobe, even if the item of clothing fits you, if it’s out of date, give it away. If you’re not sure, ask a trusted friend or stylist expert. Keep cleansing!

3. Get advice from an expert. If you go to many department stores (e.g. Nordstrom’s), there are personal shoppers who are expert stylists. Make an appointment with one of them and simply show up and tell them the truth. “I’ve just removed 50 pounds and I’m clueless about what looks good on my body.” You don’t have to buy anything. Instead, have them bring in an assortment of looks for you, from casual to more formal, business to party fare. Just let her have at it. Ask lots of questions. Be honest about your feelings. It’s usually a real mind-blowing experience to see colors and fitted clothes on your body. Go to many stores and play with colors and outfits. Get to know yourself and what makes you happy. Lean on experts everywhere. Listen to a chorus of them and look out for similar comments – “You have great legs,” “Yellows and oranges look terrific on you.” As a great resource, grab a copy of one of Charla Krupp’s terrific books, How Not to Look Old, and How Not to Look Fat Ever Again. She’s a top notch New York-based stylist who really gets it with how to dress a woman’s body at any age and under any circumstance and she’s got some terrific tips and tricks to share.

4. Don’t forget your undergarments. That bra you’ve been wearing is stretched out and is on its last legs. Toss it. How about something lovely and comfortable? Again, you may need an expert. Just purchase some baseline items and get used to the new size you’re now living in.

5. Take small steps. Don’t be in a hurry to clutter your closet again. Be strategic. Start with simple basics and then gradually build a foundation of interchangeable classics that will last a long time. My mother was not just a lawyer, but one of the top cover girls of the 50s. She taught me early on to avoid fads and stick with classics. Now’s the time to learn how to do this.

6. The body has changed but the mind needs time to catch up. Here’s my infamous Peeke’s Mind-Body Transformation Rule: For every 20-30 pounds you remove, it will take about a year for your mind to catch up with the body changes. The more gradual and healthy the mode of change, the faster and easier it will be for the mind to accept these changes, thus guaranteeing long-term success. Your mind needs time to create new neural pathways that will supervene over the old destructive habits. You need to be patient as you develop a new body image, and one in which you’re proud of your physical self. You’ll learn a new inner dialogue in which you strive to stop the self-denigration and replace it with self-love and appreciation. Starving yourself or undergoing radical drops in weight over a short period of time doesn’t give the mind enough time to adapt to change. The result is that you look into a mirror and you’re not sure what you’re seeing. You don’t have enough of an experiential base to trust that what you are seeing is real or permanent. You also think you’re “there” and want to start acting like a “normal person,” which means you let it rip and eat too much. There is no “there.” There is only a lifelong journey where you practice a healthy lifestyle every day of your life.

7. Get ready for an emotional experience. To this day, I remember one of my patients, Heidi, who’d shed 110 pounds with good nutrition and activity. Despite her amazing success, she kept wearing baggy clothes, convinced she couldn’t possibly be a size 10. Frustrated and feeling her pain, I actually walked her over to a department store and stood outside the dressing room while she tried on size 10 jeans. After a few minutes, I heard a quiet sobbing. I found her curled up on the floor weeping with disbelief and joy. She’d been too terrified to try them on. The size 10 fit perfectly. She was 23 and had been obese since childhood. Talk about mental and physical transformation. Or Jennifer, a 55-year-old retired military nurse, who, 42 pounds later, slipped on a slinky black dress and for the first time in many years felt sexy and sensuous, instead of an androgynous entity dressed in baggy pants. This is a heads up that there will be quite an emotional roller coaster, so buckle up!

As you undergo this wonderful mental and physical transformation, just remember that as you reach for those new jeans, you’ll be dressing not just your newly fit body, but a healthier body image as well.

Have you revamped your wardrobe as you’ve lost weight? Share your comments on the Diet Exchange.