How MS impacted my focus on the important things in life
Ok, so I’m a control freak. I can admit this, because I’m working everyday on becoming more of a reformed control freak. I used to have to have everything planned down to the hour for every day, every trip, and every assignment. The thing with relapsing MS is that sometimes you can’t really plan so much.
When I was diagnosed, I had to spend a few days in the hospital. Everything I had planned for those few days either went on without me or didn’t happen. And do you know what I realized? I realized that the world as I know it didn’t end because I didn’t get everything I planned, done. However, this is a lesson that I forgot as the years went by and I jumped right back into my over planning with two feet.
I continued to hectically plan my life every day, until about 3 years ago. I was talking to a friend that also has MS. She was telling me how she took an entire day off to spend in bed and recharge. I made a comment about feeling guilty and out of control if I didn’t get to everything I had planned out. She then told me that I shouldn’t over tax myself and I should never feel guilty if I can’t get to everything that I wanted to. She then told me I should just do what I can and be thankful that I could.
I realized that she was right. I had learned this lesson earlier but had forgotten it. I’m only letting myself down when I over plan and under deliver.
So now I still plan, but only the major things. I realize that small things are just that; small things. I shouldn’t overtax myself or stress so much when I don’t get done what I used to be able to do. The important things in life are my health and my family and friends. These people support me day in and day out. Everything else is just “stuff”. I realize that there are a lot of things that are beyond my control and you know what, that’s okay!