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When Tim moved from England to the United States and married the woman of his dreams, he knew there would be challenges. He wasn't expecting relapsing MS to be one of them. Follow Tim on his journey as he balances many roles in life: husband, father, ambassador, and writer.
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This journal reflects the personal experience of one person and others can be different. It is best to contact your physician to discus what’s best for you. Tim is an MS LifeLines Ambassador and has chosen to share his story with others living with MS. MS LifeLines and MS LifeLines Ambassadors are sponsored by EMD Serono and Pfizer.
Monday, June 1, 2009
A Care Partner's Perspective
Because I've totally exhausted my supply of wise or even trite things to say, I asked my wife, who has to deal with me every day, to share a few observations from a care partner's perspective. After all, she has proven her commitment to the "for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health" part of our oaths and has taken really good care of me so far, both mentally and physically. The following are a few of her pearls of wisdom.
On me, physically doing well but still wallowing in self-pity six months after I was diagnosed: "Don't use all your pity now when you're feeling fine. There might not be any left later on when you really need it."
On putting MS in perspective: "MS is something you have, not something you are. Don't make it more than it is or come to define yourself by it - you're still you."
On the future: "Don't wait until you're not doing well to start planning for that time. Hope for the best, but be proactive in planning for the worst. It's much better to put a plan in place and never have to use it than to have to scramble when you're health is failing."
On suffering in silence: "You don't do me any favors by keeping me in the dark when you suspect you are having some strange symptom to spare me from worrying. You can't have a doctor with you every day but I'm here and I know you best."
On love: "I love you for you. Don't waste energy worrying about how your MS is going to change our future. If our retirement is spent in rockers on the porch instead of climbing mountains, that's OK. The future is never certain anyway, with or without MS."
On me, physically doing well but still wallowing in self-pity six months after I was diagnosed: "Don't use all your pity now when you're feeling fine. There might not be any left later on when you really need it."
On putting MS in perspective: "MS is something you have, not something you are. Don't make it more than it is or come to define yourself by it - you're still you."
On the future: "Don't wait until you're not doing well to start planning for that time. Hope for the best, but be proactive in planning for the worst. It's much better to put a plan in place and never have to use it than to have to scramble when you're health is failing."
On suffering in silence: "You don't do me any favors by keeping me in the dark when you suspect you are having some strange symptom to spare me from worrying. You can't have a doctor with you every day but I'm here and I know you best."
On love: "I love you for you. Don't waste energy worrying about how your MS is going to change our future. If our retirement is spent in rockers on the porch instead of climbing mountains, that's OK. The future is never certain anyway, with or without MS."
Posted by: Tim, Monday, June 1, 2009
